Acts and Community

I've now lived in Louisville about 17 months. There have been more natural emergencies here then I've ever been through living in FL or NC. Now, that may say something for the preparedness of FL and NC for these natural emergencies, but still. High heat (well over 100 for days), earthquakes, Ike, blizzard, ice storm...all these things.
What I have learned here is this. Community is so strong here in Louisville. I've had many offers of places to stay, food, space heaters, parties, sledding excursions, prayers, etc - all during this time of the ice and snow. I've had people offer me their empty apt for a warm shower and a place to sleep. I've been offered futons in a warm apt. I've been offered places just to go and hang out if I get bored of being in the cold.
Just to say what I am thankful for before I go any further: I am thankful for my little space heater from the housing office. I am thankful for an electric oven so I can warm my kitchen and cook food. I'm thankful that I still have power. I am thankful that I was able to take a hot shower moments ago. I am thankful for friends who have Extra Strength Tylenol and money for a Sprite while I was running check in for the boyce girls yesterday. I'm thankful for people who are making these decisions at Southern re: housing, work, staffing, food, etc. God has blessed me with so much - so even if my hands are cold - that is not complaining, just stating the obviouos.
But, back to community. Southern and my friends here in Louisville live out Acts 2.44-45. As Paul said about the early church - I say about my community around me and the people in other states who I know who are praying for the people here. There are still about 200k without power and heat, temps under 30, more snow on the way tentative for Sunday night.
And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.

Sometimes I wish...

Do you ever wish your life was different than what it was? I do...(but on the REALity side, I know God is sovereign over all and my life is just how he wants it to be).

These are some things I sometimes wish for:
1. That I lived on a farm (really, chickens, fresh milk, cream, etc - how cool would that be) - but then I wouldn't want to get up at 4am like my cousins all my life.
2. That I had some grass of my own to plant a garden. Like my friends Joy, Bobby, my parents, my cousins in AL, the Joneses, and many more - I wish I had just a little - maybe just to start out with tomatoes and basil. Yummy!
3. I wish I had countless money - not to have it - but to buy groceries with, to have people over all the time, to give to missions so (right now) my brother and sister in law could go to Cameroon having met their monthly goal.
4. I wish I didn't have to work. I LOVE MY JOB and am VERY THANKFUL FOR IT. But, I wish there was a way that I didn't have to work: so I could go on mission trips whenever I wanted, that I could put more time and energy into the Word, my study of it, reading, cooking, home stuff, running, personal care, friends, coffee dates, traveling, etc.
5. I wish I were married. That is enough said in that.
6. I wish I were skinnier (but I am working on that).
7. I wish I could sing better than I do, and write better, and run better, and cook better, and love people better...(I think I can work on almost all of those).
8. I wish I had a jet plane (and a pilot's license, and all the money for upkeep), so I could fly and travel all over the place. Like going with my friend Maggie or Janel to one of their many trips to NYC, or just hop down to central FL for family dinners or St. Aug for youth events, or to NC to watch big games with friends there or for births of precious babies!
9. I wish I had the patience of my father and the creativeness of my mother.

Those are it for today. But, I am thankful for my life, my friends, the gifts that God has given me, and the work of sanctification in my life - and the promise that He fulfills all of our needs and grants us the desires of our hearts.

Borrowed from Touchstone: Blog Decalogue

One of the privileges I have for working for my boss is that I get to peruse many magazines that come across my desk. Touchstone came today. I found this interesting small article in it - I am highlighting from that list. (Found in Touchstone, January February 2009, page 7)

Blog Decalogue: (sort of a list of etiquette for bloggers)
1. You shall not put your blog before your integrity. This is very important. The Proverbs say many times about a good name - how that should be wanted. So many write things on their blogs, or send emails of jokes that aren't appropriate, or the whatnot, that would lead me to believe they are not the people of integrity I thought them to be. I may have inadvertently done the same. If I do, please bring it my attention - I'll remedy the occasion.
2. You shall not make an idol of your blog. I was talking to a friend about this. My question was how in the world do some people have 10k views and they've only been up a short time. I've had mine for almost 4 years now and don't have 1/3 of that. But, you know - how many views I have is not important. I use mine for the reasons I use mine. If God wants to use it for something else - so be it.
3. You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin. If you are going to leave a comment - own up to it at least.
4. Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog. I don't have this problem - but maybe I should consider this for facebook and email as well.
5. Honor your fellow bloggers above yourself, and do not give undue significance to their mistakes. Humility. Selflessness.
6. You shall not murder someone else's honor, reputation, or feelings. This one is probably the hardest for me - even in what I read. Most blogs are for opinions - and how do you share feelings and opinions w/o hurting someone else's?
7. You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind. Wow - another sin that permeates our culture. And you know - it isn't just a problem men struggle with - women struggle with it too. I heard once from a professor that married men struggle with this more than single men. Reason: once you are married you can have sex, but maybe you don't get it as much as you want. Single - its just off limits, so you come to live within those limits. I don't know if I whole heartedly agree.
8. You shall not steal another person's content. Plagiarizing is such a problem. This content is borrowed but I am siting my source. I am giving them credit. None of it is my own. If you are going to borrow or link to other websites - please tell people where you got the information from, don't use this as a way to dishonestly promote yourself.
9. You shall not give false testimony against your fellow blogger. This is the opposite of the above. Don't tell people you read something on so and so's blog if it is not true. I've met a couple of bloggers and they have lived up to their blog. Integrity is very important (see #1).
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's blog ranking; be content with your own content. Somewhat similar to #2. God has given us all gifts and abilities. He will use them for His glory.

If you have a blog - how will you use these ten "tips"?

Fellowship So Deep

Wow - you are getting two posts in one day. God is good and faithful in everything.
The past 10 days have been up and down, horrible, stressful, good, a blessing, just very crazy. I've been faithfully reading in the OT and Psalms, looking for grace.
Tonight - heading into the PM service at Sojourn - a sat down next to a friend and we both sighed on our weeks. God is good even in that.
The first two songs I didn't really know - but I don't have to sing loud every one.
Then, before the sermon - we sang In Christ Alone:
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—Here in the love of Christ I stand
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—Here in the death of Christ I live
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—Bought with the precious blood of Christ
From life's first cry to final breath,Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man... (Those are just some of my fave lyrics tonight). The Getty's are coming in concert - I could hear them 2 nights in a row for free - I think I'll take them up on that!
Daniel preached on Gen 4-11. Sin, Judgment, Grace. Cain, Lineages, Noah, Babel, Abram...
This is what I wrote down with those three words:
Sin: unprotected heart (Prov 4.23), not thinking on truth (Phil 4.8), arrogance instead of love (1 Cor 13)
Judgment: pain, broken relationships
Grace: restoration to Him and others

Gen 4-11 is such a story of grace in a cycle. God favored Cain by letting him live. God favored Noah by putting him in the ark. God favored Abram by calling him out of idolatry into promised blessings.
God favored me by restoring HIS fellowship to me: (we then took communion, sang How Deep the Fathers Love for Us) then finished the service with this Caedmon's song:

For the love that knows no ending, in the wisdom of God's plan
For the light that was descending to revive the heart of man
Christ the Lamb was made to suffer and to die upon a tree
So that we, sisters and brothers, could know His fellowship so deep
Let us sing of our Redeemer and of His love that made us free
And know this gift is ours forever, a fellowship so deep A fellowship so deep
We can feel his love among us; we can sing redemption's song
We can hear the Spirit call us to a place where we belong
For His joy is in our laughter and His comfort in our grief
Let His love here ever after be the language that we speak
Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia to the Lamb, alleluia to the Lamb Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia to the Lamb, alleluia to the Lamb

Caedmon's Call can write some songs! Thank for the fellowship restored. Not only to God Himself but also to the Body of Christ. If some of you reading this have no clue what I am talking about - then just go with the broad theme of restoration and healing. If you do know what I'm talking about - thank you. If you know the details of what I'm talking about - thank you for listening and for your grace and wisdom in my life.

Mastercuts Learning

No, I haven't picked up the idea to learn cosmetology. Yesterday, however, I knew it was time to go. No, I have still have to wait a bit to get my hair cut so I can then make it till May when I go to NC. But, I needed to get other grooming done, so I went there.
Sticking with my femininity (of the world, biblical) theme this year...I told the lady waxing my eyebrows that my face felt more feminine when she was done because it was nice, clean, and groomed. I loved it. I felt clean and trimmed. More feminine...(more later).
The lady next to me was getting her hair washed. Hairdressers are often known to be loud and gossip-y. This one was no different. I don't know who she was or even what she looked like (I had my eyes closed). But, she needed Jesus. She was harboring anger and resentment to her son's father and current live-in girlfriend. She kept saying she would never forgive him, bad mouthing him and her. I was just praying to myself that she would see her need for Jesus, come to be able to live an Acts 3.19 life, share her story as a hairdresser with all those people who sit in her chair (like Casey and Kathleen). Lord - whoever she is - heal her heart.
But, ok - back to the feminine. I've been in a funk the last week or so. Just kinda been heart-hurt, critical, eager for things to get back to normal, have that "spunk" back. So many things are going right. I am reading in the Word every night, focusing on grace, but just the attitude hasn't quite been readable on my face. I want to learn to live grace on my face and in my heart (giving, warm, a blessing spirit not a critical spirit) even when things aren't going right. When my heart is hurting. When life is tough. When things don't always go my way. God's ways are so much better!
Anyway...again - keeping thinking about the Word, grace, femininity, selflessness (oh, which I so need work on Jesus).
Thankful for: We sang this song last week at Sojourn and this week at Crossing (an old hymn which I love):

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
Refrain:On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Oh, how perfect timing this hymn the past two weeks in churches gathered.

Fun Random Stuff About Me

I don't tag anyone, but if anyone wants to do it - feel free:
Bold the ones you've done:
1. Started your own blog (this one) - and my food one (see right link)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii (amazing!)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train - in Russia
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon - but training for a 5k
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (in Greece)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (my satisfaction doesn't come from money)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - NYC and St. Augustine
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House - Just from the outside
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Mercy, Grace, Giving, OT, and "Be Merciful to Me"

Last night I heard a new-to-me song. It is on Caedmon's second In the Company of Angels CD. But, very simple and lyrically rich - thought I would add them here:
Be Merciful to Me - Randall Goodgame

Out of the deep I call,
to thee oh Lord to thee
Before thy throne I fall

Chorus
Be merciful to me
Be merciful to me
Be merciful to me
Through shadow dark and valley deep
Be merciful to me

From the garden to the cross
Thy mercy did endure
My soul purged of all dross
In blood made pure

Thy mercy lord is true
As ever truth shall be
And still I cry for you
Be merciful to me

Yesterday morning, Dustin preached from 2 Cor 8-9 about giving out of a grateful heart in response to the grace we have been given - in abundance. These were the key words I wrote down: grace (8.1), abundance (8.2), beyond their means (8.3), act of grace (8.6), EXCEL in this act of grace (8.7). These were very convicting to me. "How do I excel in this act of grace?" was my question to myself. The follow-up question to that was "How can my giving out of grace be a blessing to others?"
Then last night the second message from the BC series at Sojourn. I really hadn't seen so much grace in the 3rd chapter of Genesis before. We often hear it as the "First Gospel" or something to that effect, but last night the richness of grace came through. God curses Satan, but as Daniel pointed out - He didn't curse Adam and Eve - He cursed the ground, he said childbearing would be painful, that marriage would be hard, etc. But, he gave us grace. Also, to point out that death is grace. We don't have to live forever in this sinful atmosphere and culture. We can die and if saved only by Jesus - we can be in a perfect place that Matthew West sings so wonderfully about in "There Will be a Day". God is so gracious. I look forward to reading through the rest of the OT this year, then hearing it preached - so I can continue to learn more about grace in the OT. I call it underlying grace.
This song above was pre-sermon at Sojourn last night. I have no right in and of my own merit to stand and even sing with hands lifted to the Holy Creator of Everything God. That alone is mercy because I should receive death. But instead, I can call out to Him, plead with Him to show me mercy - and He gets blessed and He is magnified when I do that (see famous John Piper line).
I left renewed in grace last night. Loved the sermons yesterday that focused on grace.
"Your Sovereign bounty is the spring, where all my blessings flow. My God your benefits demand more praise than I can give." - Maker and My King - Sojourn.

Sojourn Music: My Rock and My Redeemer

This week has definitely been one of ups and down. Came off a great birthday weekend, then work, CG, reading in the OT and Psalms, Gator national Championship, training for my 5k, pilates routines, being tired, getting to bed too late, breaking a small weight plateau, having a messy house b/c of being tired, etc. Last night one of the songs I had put on a CD for my friend and former roomie (and Sooner) came on my iPod while running. LOVE THE SONG! And the Psalm that is comes from...Here you go. Brought to you by the fantastic people at Sojourn off an older album (they are working on 2 Watts projects for 09).

My Rock and My Redeemer:
All I feel is broken, and weary to the bone
I've given up the fight and found I have no strength to carry on
Let me run to you, Draw me close and hold me tight
Be the strength that I don't have, And in my weakness shine

You are my Rock and my Redeemer
My Refuge sure and strong, My faithful loving Father
You are my Shelter in the storm

I find myself a captive, Of the same old tired lies
The ones that say I'm hopeless, Not even worth a try
Let your truth run through me, Set me free I know you can
Take my soul, make me whole, To seek your face again

Teach me Lord to trust You, Instead of my own strength
To find my worth in Your love alone. And my hope within your grace.

The words in red are the one that have reasonated with me this week. Mostly on Wednesday night after Community Group. To ask God of the impossible, and see it so often not answered in the way I would desire. But knowing and trusting God to be the everlasting incredible gracious and wise Father that He is is sustaining. "To find my worth in your love alone..."
This song can be found on iTunes - it is a great one. Acoustic in style, powerful in words.

32 Birthday Weekend in Review

God has been extremely gracious to me the first almost full week of 2009. Here is a recap:

New Years Eve my boss let me off early. That was great. Got to cook and prepare for Eddy's Discorama for New Years! What a blast that was. Danced some, watched dancing some (sorta felt like Dancing with the Stars late 70s style), ate some, talked some, had tons of fun!

Slept in on the first and didn't do much of anything - which was very nice!

On the second friends of mine from Flagler paid me a visit on their way back to Northern Indiana. Chuck and I have been friends since my freshman year when we both served on the worship team for the Intervarsity chapter there. Then we had a couple of classes together. Then he met his wife - what a great addition she was. Corrine is a great teacher and very patient. Their kids: Genesis, Ashton, and Gabriel came with. We enjoyed a brunch and tour of Southern before we went our separate ways.

Then I drove to Mt. Washington and went hiking in the Bernheim Forest. My friends, the Dawkinses, went there this summer. Said it was great - minus the ticks. So, I went hoping there would be no ticks - and sure enough, there were none to be found. I enjoyed 2 hikes and loved not hearing many voices or sounds except for the crunching of dead leaves beneath my feet for about 3 hours.

On my way home I went to Kohls (although I didn't find anything), Barnes and Noble and get my two new journals this year (my Biblical Femininity one and one for 2009 on recommendation from Josh Harris). Then went to Cheesecake Factory for my annual piece of cheesecake.

Got home, did some work for church, and went to bed.

Saturday was training, cooking, movie-ing, shopping, then dinner with some professors I work with/for. They cooked me a great "Florida" inspired birthday meal and we played Cranium. It was a blast. I felt very loved! Then the Colts lost - not good. Oh, well, its just football.

Sunday (my actual bday) - I love Sundays as my birthday. I get to worship "gathered" on it. It was my first Sunday serving in a new role, so I got there early, helped with set up, sang along with band practice, then church. Ending the service with "How Can I Keep From Singing" by Tomlin - what an incredible song. Just worshipping with abandon. Great fun!

Lunch with Lilly at Cafe Lou Lou's - that was fun, ending with a great dessert. Then I hung out with Chris and Sarah and Kristin and Jenny for the afternoon sipping tea, coffe, or peach Fresca (imported).

Finally - to end the night with Sojourn Gathered. Love the music - especially "Sovereign Grace O'er Sin Abounding" and "Maker and My King" - great stuff! Taking communion - remembering the grace that has brought me thus far - for a complete 31 years!

God's grace is so HUGE in my life: the ministry He has allowed me to be involved in here, new friends, a great community group, fantastic job and guys I work for, family, financial good in this time of recession, all these things - most importantly - "sovereign grace, o'er sin abounding". As another song says:

"My God your benefits demand more praise than I can give" - Maker and My King - Sojourn.

Biblical Femininity 2009

I love pearls. I love pink. I love to cook. I love to dress up. I love to look nice and want my hair to be done well. I also love to wear sweats, not put my contacts in, not have to put makeup on, wear no jewelry, run, camp, hike, football and most sports.
What does that have to do with biblical femininity? NOTHING. Some of those things the world considers feminine.
This year, I am going to study (mostly) Biblical Femininity and how it is in contrast to what the world says is feminine. Are the two totally different - no? But, they are very dissimilar.
What did this come about? I started loving to wear pearls, lotion, and perfume earlier this year. Yes, I did wear them before - but I saw much benefit to wearing them now. So, I like being a girl. But, God wants me to be a woman after his own heart. So, I want to know what that is.
Someone said to me many years ago that I was not a gentle and quiet spirit. That hurt me more than that person will probably ever know. But, then not more than 2 months later, someone else said the thing they appreciated about me the most was that I had a gentle and quiet spirit. This week while home, things came out of my mouth that didn't reflect a gentle and quiet spirit. Rob Plummer mentioned in the sermon this weekend at Sojourn that Paul commands us to "let our gentleness be known to all. (Phil 4).
So, here are I go. Embarking on a year long journey of learning more about what it means to be feminine - according to God's standards.
Here is my list - 12 books that I want to read on this subject. I will read more - but these are in my library (do you have any that you think I should read)? Any topics you think I should study or concentrate on? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Don't know what I'll do with all this knowledge when I'm done with it. Hopefully be transformed by it - inside and out. Hopefully it will be reflective in relationships - not only with God, but with other men and women, family, strangers, church members.
Lord, help.
Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God - Noel Piper
The Fruitful Life (fruits of the Spirit) - Jerry Bridges (thanks Timothy and Rayann)
Radical Womanhood - Carolyn McCulley (thanks Courtney)
Keep a Quiet Heart - Elisabeth Elliot (thanks Joy)
Called to Womanhood - Beth Impson
Queen Esther's Reflections - Ann Platz (thanks Lorie)
Woman After God's Own Heart - Elizabeth George
Esther and Ruth - Iain Duguid
Praying God's Word - Beth Moore
Beautiful in God's Eyes - Elizabeth George
BeAttitudes - Dorothy Patterson
Holiness - Rhonda Kelley

Note that none of these are specifically about being single, in ministry, married, a wife, a mother, etc. Our femininity is not based on any of those things. They are additives to it. The only things are femininity is based upon are: being created in God's image and the cross of Jesus.

Progressive Dinner Winter Part 1

Winter holds two progressive dinners for me. Last night was version 1. It was with Laura and David Dawkins and Beth and Wes Crouser. Such a fun time.

Started off with the salad course at my apt. This conversation was mostly about school, work, and random stuff.

Next was the Dawkinses' house. They had the main course and all was set out beautifully by Laura. She is such the great person for that! David opened up with a psalm about how God has faithfully and graciously withheld his wrath from us and offered us salvation. We enjoyed the food and shared our favorite Christmas memory from this past week.

Our dessert course was at the Crouserses'. Such a chic apt complete with a Roombie (a automatic vacuum cleaner). We got to make homemade fruit pizzas, have a contest for the best one (Wes won, but since it was his house, Laura took home the prize - a disco snowman snowglobe). We talked about New Years' Resolutions - if we would keep them or just wanted to do them.

It was great. I am looking forward to Winter Part 2 in 2 weeks!

Random 2009 Resolutions

As I was journaling last night, I figured why wait for these resolutions for 2 more days - start doing them now. Hopefully that will help me keep them throughout the year.
This will include random ones. My spiritual/reading one will come on Friday - be ready for it - it will be exciting (or least I'm excited about it). My food one (recipes, cooking) is at my other blog: http://kimsstateoffood.blogspot.com.
So, here goes...and like I said - I have already started working on these.
1. Run my first 5k. This will take place Feb 21 in Indianapolis, IN - that is only two hours away. It is called the Polar Bear Run. I started training yesterday - doing the Couch to 5K training. Anyone want to do it with me? I am excited for the challenge and the goal.
2. Take better care of my face and skin. This comes with getting older, but too often I go to bed with makeup on, or only wash my face but don't moisturize it. I need to be a good steward of the only skin I was given.
3. Try new things: food, sports, etc.
4. More piano playing. I took 8 years of this at LCS, but since I haven't done much with it. I am getting my uncle's very nice keyboard in March and I look forward to having it and playing more on it. Just so my parents won't think they wasted that extra money at Lakeland Christian and Mrs. Parrish will get some credit!
5. This is partly with number 1...lose 30 more pounds. Since April I have lost 31 lbs and I need to lose another 30. So, I'll just keep pushing along and get 'er done (as some of my friends would say)

Those are my top 5 resolutions. My reading and study list will come on Friday.

Christmas Season 2008

Well, for me this is an unusual Christmas. This is the first time in 5 years that I haven't lived in either NC or KY and been there for Christmas Day, usually by myself or just sharing a meal with a close family. I've enjoyed colder weather for Christmas Day and no leaves on the trees. I've had a retail job for the holidays that have made life busy and hectic with hardly any time for Advent because I'm wondering if I'll make a good sale on knives or pots or see anyone in the store I know.
This Christmas I am in FL. I am wearing short sleaves and hopefully will go bike riding this afternoon if it doesn't rain. It is 74 degrees out there right now - this morning I walked out and picked an orange from a tree in the back yard. Alan and Tywonn are camping in Charlie (their VW) on the Manatee River. Dad is over smoking mullet with Papa. Granny called and she is making sweet tea and wanted to know if we wanted a red plastic table cloth on - we'll pass we said. But, the tea should be good. Mom and I have been cooking for about 30 hours now: pecan pie, lemon cake, apricot sugar cookies, cauliflower au gratin, steamed broccoli, sweet potatoes, cinnamon raisin bread, fruit salad, applesauce, sour cream biscuits, cornbread pudding. all for one meal along with some meat. And I love doing it all.
There have been arguments as we try to not get stressed and communicate well - what else is new. I'm learning when to just shut my mouth and not feel the need to say everything and be in control.
What I have loved about this Christmas season is the preparation - the Advent. I've been enjoying the sermons at Crossing and the music and art at Sojourn to help prepare for Christmas. The song Glory Be, Hosanna in the Highest, Amen Amen. All these have been great. God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman is so focused on the gospel. Here are the words to Amen, Amen:
Let every creature rise and bring
Their grateful praises to our King
Angels descend with songs again
and Earth repeats a loud Amen, Amen
Amen, Amen
I found my life
I found my life in Him
Amen, Amen
Peace like a river from His throne
Will flow to nations yet unknown
His word a light where all hope is demand
All tribes unite to cry “Amen”
Chorus
And in this Child we’ll find our rest
And all the meek and lowly blessed
An infant tongue could sing the hymn
of Hallelujah and Amen

Jesus - what a beautiful Name! Find my Rest in Him! Come Quickly Lord Jesus!

O Come O Come Emmanuel

Yesterday morning at Crossing we sang this song. How many times have I heard it - and heard it - and turned it because I had heard it too much? Yesterday, as the sermon started, this song was still fresh in my head, so half of my sermon notes are on this hymn (don't worry, Dustin, I can multitask)
I am very blessed this year to be in a church that puts so much emphasis on advent (and going to another church at night that puts equal emphasis on it). In the past I've been in churches that talk about advent and Jesus' birth and preach about hope, peace, love, etc...and how to deal with family during the holidays, spending too much money, etc. But...this year it is very different and it is taking root in me more this season than past.
Not only are the songs we are singing the typical Christmas songs maybe arranged a little differently, done to a different beat or tune - but we are also still singing songs focused on the Cross of Christ and His return. You already have gotten a glimpse into "Glory Be!" - my fave this holiday season. But, now you get a chance to get some thoughts on another one (and maybe even another one or two before the season is through).
This is a familiar tune to most of you reading this blog:
O come, O come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel - His coming brought freedom from bondage (as we saw in part at the Exodus, freedom from captivity in the OT, and we will see in completion at the end of time). But, for day to day purposes - His coming, His "being with us" allows us to battle the things that hold us bondage: addictions, sin, people-pleasing, laziness, etc.
O come, thou Wisdom from on high, who orderest all things mightily - With so many things going on in politics and the economy, even down to the Heisman Trophy winner and prices of plane tickets and how my biscotti or brownies or steaks turn out this week - Jesus, the personification of Wisdom dwelling among us, orders all things. He just doesn't order the big important things - He orders the daily, mundane things - all for His glory and our good.
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death's dark shadows put to flight - Holidays are very tough for people who have lost loved ones this year. In a way this season at home will be a little sad because my brother and sister in law are leaving for 4 years to go to Cameroon to magnify Jesus. I won't see them except maybe once or twice during that time. But - Jesus came and was God with Us so they could go to Cameroon, help people medically, and magnify Jesus through counseling missionaries. There is no reason for gloom!
Make safe the way that leads on high, and close the path to misery - this is actually the line that I wanted to write down while I was singing it. Earlier in the day I had to make a conscience choice to accept God's provision and shield of a LACK of a good thing in my life (Ps 84.11) instead of dwelling on what I didn't have that another had received. Then as I thought about this line in light of that - some would think the road they are on is misery (like sometimes I think). But, some times the "path to misery" is for our sanctification. He does not always close that path. While Jesus was "with us" He experienced so much misery and pain - He never said we wouldn't have - contrary - He definitely said we would face trials and troubles. But, in those trials and troubles: financial, family, relationships, jobs, indwelling sin, etc - He is "God with us".
O come, Desire of nations - This is still probably my favorite line in the whole song. He is the Desire of all the nations! As St. Augustine said this thing about our hearts being restless till they rest in Thee. They just don't know it yet. All were created by their Maker. That Maker is their Desire. We have an obligation. I know in the coming year this will happen in SE Asia, Central Asia, Cameroon, Louisville, RDU, St. Aug, etc. Where will you go to make Him Magnificent? 2 enlarge of the glory of God through Jesus like Mary did (see, Dustin, I was listening).
And as the refrain says - may we REJOICE because our God is with us - Emmanuel - and praise Him He is coming again - Come quickly Lord Jesus

Baking Fun with Friends

One of the fun things about the holidays is getting to bake with friends. I have many great friends here in the ville who love to bake and cook - and I get to learn from their expertise and share some of the things I know about cooking and baking.

Last night was the first of this type of party I went to. Object of Brandi's Baking Party was to bring a favorite holiday recipe, all the ingredients to make it, and share the finished product with the other ladies.

I only knew one other of the ladies other than Brandi - Sarah, a girl that goes to Sojourn and the Seminary, came to Crossing way back in the day when I first started going there - and is a great cook!

Brandi was a very gracious host in ordering pizza, making sure everyone had what they needed before making her own, gave us a tour of her very pretty and well-decorated house.

We had a lot of fun and it was great just to unwind with others while baking at the end of a very stressful week. Now - I am glad it is Saturday!

Advent 2008.9: Guilt, Sin, and Creation

This time of the year (from Thanksgiving till my birthday) is the hardest time for me to try to be healthy and lose weight. It is cold, gets darker quicker,, busy, everything revolves around food, etc. I already have had a defeatist attitude today about it. But, many friends have reminded me to be wise with my eating, try to get in exercise, don't be gluttonous, and January 9th will be here before I know it. The parties and dinners and eating out seem never ending - but they are right.
As I read the advent reading in Piper - He talks about Jesus conquering Satan for HIS glory. He reminds us that we are not held in bondage to sin or guilt - but our freedom has been paid for! Hebrews 2.14-15: "Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery." I love the hope and empathy that are found in these verses.
"The death of Jesus nullified the damning effect of sin for all who trust in Christ. The weapon of soul-destroying sin and guild is taken out of Satan's hand." (83). I find more hope in this as well. What I also must remember is just because Jesus has done this doesn't mean I can berate myself, be down on myself, be a glutton, be lazy - or anything. First of all, because I am created in His image and He loves me (that's what the other advent reading today was talking about). Also, Rom 6.1-4 (amazing powerful verses) say: "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

Advent 2008.8: Suffering and Answered Questions

How often do I question the care of God in my life? I have learned over the last couple of years how to be thankful in life. But, I remember many times when I wondered how I was going to pay for this and do that and be able to go there - all the things that really (don't?) matter in life. He has all these needs covered - and I have seen His goodness.
But, I shouldn't have even had to "worry" about this because He gave me something to complete my joy in Him - the Savior. Not only did He come to walk through life, enter into our sufferings and trials - but He came ultimately to die. Phil 2.8.
Bethlehem wasn't the end - we must not be just Christmas Christians. We have to remember Good Friday - Easter Sunday! In that act - all our needs are met.

Advent 2008.7: Humility, Poverty, and Family

My Dad is a genealogist. Most of you reading this will know that it has something to do with family and the history of families. I tried doing what he does in 2007, but it just wasn't for me. Not that I don't think its interesting, it just wasn't for me.
But, it has been neat learning all growing up where I came from, who my family is, the lineage that we are as Davidsons and Hatchers. But, how do I mirror or look like my eternal heritage? do I put on Jesus every day to mirror him to the nations - just as He put on flesh in the incarnation to show us Jesus.
I was very convicted about my lack of Jesus last night. I was sitting in a church service - one of the missions of this church is to reach its community around the church building. Germantown is not an affluent part of Louisville to say the least. Where I was sitting there were a couple of people walking by more than once who definitely were not of the churched variety. They were unkept and smelled of smoke.
Now, I should have been ecstatic because they were coming, the church was fulfilling its mission, they were hearing of the gospel of Jesus. But, I wasn't. I was too prideful. I was irritated because they were getting up and down, I was holding my nose as they walked by because I don't like cigarette smoke, etc. You get the picture of my pride. It is not pretty. Jesus humbled Himself and became poor - born in a stable, not looking like the King He was, not looking like the priests he had opportunity to talk to.
I want to look more like Jesus - my eternal co-heir under God our Father. "Truth itself was the stumbling block. And so the only escape for the enemies of truth was caricature and half-truth. Jesus is a glutton and drunkard. That is why he eats with tax collectors and sinners. But beneath the ugliness of calumny is the glory of compassion. Why did he eat with tax collectors and sinners? He gave the answer - 'those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick." (65)

Advent 2008.6: Wisdom and Payment

Piper focuses in on the wisdom of Jesus, the Son today. I work at a seminary - tons of brilliant men teach here. When I was in seminary, I was amazed at how the men I learned from could quote books, have memories that recalled most things they had ever read - they could discuss any topic at the drop of a hat - and sound intelligent. I can maybe do that with a limited number of topics: cooking, college football, some spiritual topics - but I still want to "study up" before I have to talk.
Jesus doesn't have to study up. He is all-knowing - because He is one with the Father - He is God. One thing He knew before coming to earth was that He was coming to earth to die. That was the purpose of His mission.
Two things that stood out to me: "He knows God perfectly." (60). Jesus knows God perfectly because He is God perfectly. I often want to know God better, but take little steps and often put off doing things that will enable me to know Him more. But, I will only see dimly till I reach Heaven. "He knows all our thoughts before we express them." (58). Psalm 139.3, 4: "You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether." JD mentioned a while back - in the presence of Jesus is the safest place. As I was driving to Sojourn last night I was in a hurry, fussing at the people who were blocking St. Catharine Street and making me late, irritated at the people constantly getting up and walking in front of me. Jesus knew I was thinking these thoughts. Best thing: I have the ability to confess them - and still hope in Grace and ability to stand in His presence because of the Gospel! Forgiveness and grace.
And what about purchasing all these gifts at Christmas time. We spend so much time standing in line, surfing the net, laying down our credit cards, cash, are ATM cards. We search for that perfect gift. We were purchased already by the blood of Jesus - to set us free from the things I mentioned above - sin - and free us to worship and live on mission with God. 1 Corinthians 6.19b-20 "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Advent 2008.5: Floods and trees

People often laugh at me when I sady I miss hurricane seasons in FL. This year, here in Louisville, we got a taste of Ike that left me w/o power for a week. But, as I stood out in the street in front of my apt on that Sunday morning, watching the wind as it took down trees, I remember even more missing the hurricanes of Florida.
I miss them because I see such amazing awe and strength in the storms that Jesus Himself is commanding. It is often fear-bringing and beautiful at the same time. My Dad will stand out and video as hurricanes come right over our house in central Florida. My brother and I love to sit out on a porch and listen to the rain. I loved living in St. Augustine watching the storms come in off the Atlantic. Breath-taking.
This morning, it was crisp, Carolina-blue skies here in the ville. I was out driving East of town and watched as the sky turned an amazing pink - becaue of the sun - another reminder of the faithfulness of God.
Piper talks about this today - Jesus' command over nature - the very thing He was the agent of creation for. And during Jesus' incarnation here on the earth - many people were witness of that: water into wine, bringing back the dead, calming the storm, miraculous catches of fish. God is so cool to let His Son come to show us and be a display of the almighty power that is in the personhood of the Trinity.
Job 37.9-16a: "From its chamber comes the whirlwind, and cold from the scattering winds. By the breath of God ice is given, and the broad waters are frozen fast. He loads the thick cloud with moisture; the clouds scatter his lightning. They turn around and around by his guidance, to accomplish all that he commands them on the face of the habitable world. Whether for correction or for his land or for love, he causes it to happen. “Hear this, O Job; stop and consider the wondrous works of God. Do you know how God lays his command upon them and causes the lightning of his cloud to shine? Do you know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of him who is perfect in knowledge?"
In Christ in Me, the subject was bearing fruit, being close to God. Often when I'm out watching the weather, hiking, being on the beach, in the mountains, experiencing literal storms - that is one way I feel very close to God. I love standing out in the rain and having it just drench me. It is very refreshing. We are definitely more aware of God's presence when we are spending time with him every day - and we are more able to be a light for others when we have been near the LIGHT.
Enjoy the weekend being light, enjoying the cold winter weather - wherever you are - we are supposed to maybe get some snow!

Advent 2008.4: Indestructible Joy and Cell Phones

I'm loving seeing how God works these readings into the very things that I experience on that day. Today's readings are no different.
JP refers to the gladness or eternal joy of Jesus. "Jesus himself - and all that God is for us in Him - is our great reward, nothing less." (41) Jesus is so far above anything of the want, worry, destruction, horrors, failures, miseries of this world. But, you know...He is also far above any of the rewards, the joys, the happiness in this world. As JD always uses the pointing finger and dog analogy in sermons. I can't focus on the gift - anymore than I can get bogged down by the bad things that happen. This morning, I received an email from a person who just resounds the gospel to me. Actually, 2 of them. They have, just in who they are, spoken the gospel into the situations in my life.
"The glory of Christ is his infinite, eternal, indestructible gladness in the presence of God." (43). But, then JP goes on to write that He wept with the weepers, he mourned, he was tested, he was tried. But, his infinite joy was not moved. That is how I long to be. That is can be moved by these trials in life, not be immune to them - but knowing that even through them I have a greater joy.
Hebrews 1.8-11a "But of the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever, the scepter of uprightness is the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.” And, “You, Lord, laid the foundation of the earth in the beginning, and the heavens are the work of your hands; they will perish, but you remain."
Then, in the other reading...the illustration of calling closed stores is used. How God and his listening to our prayers - He is never closed. Last night as I got home from band practice after 11, heavy heart, sat down and rambled on the blog before this one, tried to go to sleep. I kept looking at my cell phone, wondering whom I could call who would still be awake and not be put out by my phone call. I couldn't sleep. My stomach was empty, my head and heart were full. I was focusing on the situation instead of the Answer to the situation. I was more focused on the problem instead of comforting myself and calming my spirit with the Words of the One who has all the answers. I ended up not calling anyone and finally falling asleep. God is good.
What it would have been like to walk beside Jesus, hear Him pray, know His burdens, know that He had all the answers. But, really...I'm thankful for living in the post of the "beautiful scandalous night."

Heaviness and Tears

I am definitely not a person who cries a lot over much of anything - unless its a sappy movie or Apollo 13 (the 4 minute wait or reentry) or Anne of Green Gables when Gilbert Blythe is dying...oh, movies.
But, tonight, something is really just heavy on my heart. For the most part I can't even really put my finger on it.
It has been a long day but that has really nothing to do with it.
During our prayer time tonight, hearing prayers of humility and lowness of heart, of heartfelt worship, or prayers for healing, marriages to be restored. When I was driving home, texting, then glancing up and seeing the beautiful moon - knowing and being gripped by the holiness and faithfulness of God.
More than any of us - God is the picture and standard, the plumb line, of faithfulness. This world knows so very little of faithfulness. It is something I long for in relationships. It is something I long to be in who I am. That is something I want people to say of me. Faithfulness - it is so hard to see a picture of outside of Christ. We are sinners - we all fall short. But, faithfulness. Even in little things - like the moon - or the sunrise that will be here tomorrow morning. Jesus gave us a picture of that when He came to earth and He was faithful in everything He did. God is so good. Jesus is so good.
He heals, He is Everlasting Father (that shows faithfulness). Our world is so marred by sin - so scarred by the unfaithfulness of ourselves and others. Why is this so heavy? Why are broken marriages so weighty to me right now. Even in the church we are not immune to Satan. The Spirit is so strong. God is so amazing. But, we are still sinners.
What can be done about it? I'm so at a loss for what can be done to strengthen marriages. It is a deep sigh coming out of me that is never ending. Yes, I do see some wonderful marriages. But, its almost more often than not that I see ones hurting. This is such a picture of Christ and the church - and the world sees such a skewed picture - almost a out of order paint by number - of marriage.
Each time I hear of one more marriage failing, or hurting - I wonder why in the world I would ever want to get married. What makes me think I am any better than anyone else who struggles in their marriages or in their relationships. This has been such a weight on me today.
The other weight is the issue of pride. How I shut down when I'm not in control of something. Or when I get called out on something. Its like "multiple personality" or something - and I really am completely kidding on that. But, seriously. I don't take criticism well - even though with all I've been getting I need to get better at it. If I'm not the strongest personality or if I am outnumbered in anyway, I tend to shut down, be quiet, let others talk. Its almost an all or nothing thing. Or if I am unsure of something or fearful of criticism - then I tend to shy away from stuff.
Ok - so this is really just a rambling blog. I am thankful that I am going to bed tonight - knowing that God is still on His throne - He is still faithful - He is the mighty healer. He will continue to break me of sin. He will continue to draw men unto Himself. God - thank you.
Anyway - if you read this...thanks, hope something was in it for you. But, more than anything, it was a way for me to talk to myself and let my fingers catch up to my brain.

Advent 2008.3: Contrasts

Piper talks in this chapter about Jesus being both Lion and Lamb. Two sentences really stuck out to me - then we'll see how it relates to the other book...
"His sovereign dominion over the world was clothes with a spirit of obedience and submission." (35). So, when Christ came to earth as a little baby - He was still King of Kings and Lord of Lords, He was still the Lion of Judah and the Lamb that was Slain. All of this is His eternal nature. But - he also put on obedience and submission in a form that we could understand it. He had to be obedient not only to His Father (God) but also to His earthly parents: Mary and Joseph. He had to be submissive to the governing earthly authorities. He gave up His divine nature to be God with skin on (more on that later).
"This glorious conjunction shines all the brighter because it corresponds perfectly with our personal weariness and our longing for greatness." (37) Today, I was so glad to have the grace of Jesus. That grace was displayed in other people who have authority in my life. That grace was lavished on me by friends and people who care about me. But, there are also days when I need discipline in my life and need a word of correction. I like those days too actually - because I know the love of Jesus in that. I am grateful to have both sides of my Jesus - my companion, my warrior, my faithful High Priest, and the Answer to my every prayer. All these beautiful contrasts! I love the complexities of Jesus.
The other book talked about skin. How our skin is and what it does for us. Jesus put skin on - as Younger Lifers say "be Jesus with skin on." Well, Jesus was God with skin on. He came to show us the glory of the Father - and what did we do - we rejected the light. We cast Him out. We crucified Him. We rebelled against Him. And yet - He is still close with us, as close as skin - even closer. He is in us in the form of the Holy Spirit.
I am thankful for all the ways of Jesus and that He loves me and wants to be near me - because I am his.

Advent 2008.2: Slave, Satisfaction, Surrender

Today Piper focuses on the Deity of Christ. I think before we can understand fully the Incarnation - we have to understand the Personhood of Christ. Christ is above all and agent of Creation (Col 1), the radiance of the God the Father and the worshipped of Heaven (Heb 1). He is the I AM as He tells the Jews in the gospel of John. All these things - yet He considered Himself nothing and took on the form of a servant - the slave of a cross (Phil 2). That is remarkable. That throughout time (Alpha and Omega) Christ knew the day was coming that He would have to give up His eternal nature and take on bodily form in the womb of a teenager and live among people who would eventually nail him to a cross and mock him and spit on Him. Did He have an "advent countdown" like we do today. No matter what else - we know as Hebrews says that He endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him. As Piper starts out - that Joy was the glory of God the Father - and that is where our satisfaction must be found. I am not satisfied as I right this. There are many things I'm disappointed with in life - even just right now. Father - let me know and find my satisfaction in you - and in the Son that you sent on my behalf - that I would find my complete joy in You!

CIM talks about our citizenship. I think about Christ's citizenship - how He was a "citizen" of another "country" and He gave up those rights and freedoms (God-ness, Phil 2) to come dwell among us. And I also think of the many people I know who are out in other countries, who live and dwell in dark places, all to tell those people about this one who became a baby and died for them on a cross. These people in dark places worship other things and other gods - they don't know (or mostly even want to know) to truth of this Incarnate and Sacrificial and Glorious Jesus.

This is why we celebrate the Incarnation - because we know the other side of the Cross and what that means for the world.

Advent 2008.1 - Light, Glory, Thrill

Yesterday at church we talked much about Light piercing the darkness. We sang about it, we read about it (Light of the World, We are Listening, etc). Dustin preached from Is 9 (the prophecy of Jesus who would pierce their governmental darkness). The first chapter of Piper's book Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ is about that and the glory of God.
2 Corinthians 4.6: For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
Yet - we fail to see this. Especially at Christmas time. I get wrapped up in what I'm giving (and how the getter will receive it), what I bake (and if people will like it), what parties I'm going to (and what I'm wearing). All these things are not important. This is how I "live out parables of depravity" (p 21) - Rom 1.
This is where we find healing - especially at this time of Christmas: "healing of the soul begins by restoring the glory of God to its flaming, all-attracting place at the center" (21). I don't need more things or more baked goods (definitely not to eat) - I need more of Christ.
Then - I finally saw a connection in the other book. We get so thrilled with these things (people, gifts, achievements...) that we miss Christ. I was talking to a friend today and was telling him that there has got to be more than football - because even though the Gators won a resounding victory against FSU, and however much I was excited for the game (and the game Saturday against the Tide), it was such a let down when it was over. It was over. No more. But, God and His glory are for my satisfaction for eternity. Do I get just as thrilled with knowing more of Christ as I do for watching football or finding great deals on smaller-sized clothes.
May I even tomorrow - be aware that Christ is all - and He came and dwelt among us (John 1.14) in the darkness - showing the light of the glory of God the Father.

Advent Readings

Holidays are special times because you can read things you might not otherwise read throughout the year. On Good Friday (or sometime around there) I've been reading The Cross Centered Life by CJ Mahaney each year. What a great reminder of the cross and living in light of the gospel.
This year for Christmas I want to do the same thing. Since today is December 1 - I thought was a great time to start.
So...the two books I am reading (in addition to my study in Galatians and reading through the Bible) are:
Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ - John Piper (focuses on who Chris is and how we can cherish him). I thought this would be great because we often get so wrapped up in the demands of the season: cooking, shopping, giving, traveling, snow, parties, being tired, music, etc. And we forget about the fact that Jesus came to offer us new life and freedom from this life (and all those demands if they have control over us). I'm looking forward to reading this again.
Christ in Me - Group Publishing. This is a litte gift book that came in a set I found in a trash pile. Who knows? Never read it. But, there are 30 readings of who Christ is for me. So...I have one about who Christ is and one for how His character applies to me. These are shorter readings but one I need to focus on.
I'll try to post my thoughts on these each day as we get closer to Christmas.
What do you do to keep your focus on Christmas - and not everything else?

Sojourn: Glory Be

Well, here it is...the favorite Christmas song this season. I know, I usually pick one or two new ones that I really like. This is it for this season (so far)... We sang it last night at Sojourn and even though I had heard it on the Advent CD, it is so much better in person:

Glory Be
It was the longest night, the world was waiting
Eager for the light, the world was waiting
O come, come Messiah
Sing for joy, all the earth, Messiah's come to set you free!
Join the angels in their song
Glory Be Glory Be
It was the longest night, my heart was waiting
Hallelujah, the Lord of life has come
To reconcile the nations to their God
Hallelujah, he's coming back again
To finish was began at Bethlehem
O Come, Come Messiah
Hallelujah

Now what you don't get in the lyrics is the harmonies, melody, high notes, repitions, etc that make this song amazing.
What I like about this song: originality, scope of lyrics (not just about Christmas), freedom found in Christ, completion of salvation, joy that is brought to the whole world, our missions focus of Christmas (and not presents and food and Santa). The focus on the return and expectancy of Jesus.
Good stuff! You can find it at iTunes or www.sojournmusic.com

8 in 08

So, since I probably won't be near a computer most of tomorrow (save to post some recipes) I thought I'd use today to go ahead and post 8 things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.
1. Salvation: 2 Corinthians 5.21 - "For our sake, He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God." Love that verse. Yesterday, doing pilates, I was reminded that I don't even take my next breath if not for the mercy of God. I am thankful for that breath and for the mercy of God. That He is enough!
2. Job. I love my job - I love the guys I work for and the fact that I am doing ministry, even in an admin position. It has been since 1999 working at Anastasia that I can honestly say I love what I do. And am thankful that God has allowed me to be in my position for 16 months now! Wow - can you believe it?! God is so gracious to me!
3. Church - Community. I still love the community God has given me in other parts of the world in my former churches: pastors/staff, mentors, families, my girls, precious babies who grow up too fast. But, this year (because last year was such a struggle with no church home) is an added blessing. I just joined Crossing on Sunday (officially, even though I've been going since July). Its great to have friends who care about you, people to push you, minister with, do life with. Love my new Xing Family! :)
4. Friends. One of the sub-things I'm thankful for this year is Facebook. I got on facebook shortly after coming to Louisville. Its been a great tool of ministry and re-connecting with people who spur you on for the sake of the gospel. So thankful for that online tool! But, really, am thankful for the faithfulness of friends, for God teaching me about friendships (how some come and go in life for reasons unbeknownst to us), and how God uses us in each others' lives (Col 3.15-17).
5. Family. My family will be going through some changes. Last year (2007) we all lived pretty close together as I was also in Lakeland for about 6 months. But, come April (I think) we will look very different. Mom and Dad will still be in Lakeland, I will still be in Louisville, but A/T will be in Cameroon, West Africa. So excited to see what God is going to do through them over the next 4 years, but yes, am a little saddened that they won't be a short flight (long drive) away.
6. Independence. I do not mean my freedom (as in USA), although I am very thankful for that as well. I mean my independence. Some people look at that at a negative thing, and I guess it could be. But, I love being an independent person, for moving to a new state (knowing 2 people who live here) and getting to explore and find new things, do what I want when I want, go where I want, etc. It is very fun and I never want to take that for granted.
7. Stuff. Yes, I am thankful for stuff. I am thankful for my 800 Sqft Square I call home. I am thankful for my cute little car, Charlie the Cruiser. Thankful for a new laptop, a free VCR someone gave me, clothes, cooking supplies, etc. There are so many things. Heat for one! God is so gracious to me. May I never rely on these things - but always be grateful for them - and be ready to give them up if the need arises! And share the blessings with others!
8. Mission Folks. I am so thankful to have people in my life who are called to the others sides of the world (in one way or another). Since some of these people are in closed countries: here we go with just their initials. A/T, MS, M and L M, RG, AL, L and K M, J and K R, R and K P and probably many more. But, I'm also thankful for people who have a heart for the world who are living here in the US of A: Sarah, Bruce, Greears, Brad and Jena-Marie, Bacons, Dawkinses, Kathy L, Bob and Jackie, and so many others. They spur me on - keep me focused on God's heartbeat for the Nations for His glory.
All these things to be thankful for - all given by one Good and Gracious God!
Ps 150:
Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! (or as David Platt put it: Let everything that praises the Lord have breath!)

Satisfaction

With the Thanksgiving holiday upon us, (then Christmas, New Years, Birthday), this is a time of the year for great reflection for me. I think I officially started it yesterday when I made my bday plans. Am looking forward to it and the preparation leading up to it as well.
On my walk to work this morning, I started to think and wonder if I've grown any this past year in certain areas. One area is that of satisfaction/desires.
My "life verse" up until my Senior Year of high school was Ps 37.4-5: Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
Then I started taking the verses surrounding it for a more complete look at that promise:
Ps 37.3-7a: Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him..."
So here are our commands as believers:
1. Trust in the Lord (this is active, not passive)
2. Do Good (again, active, not passive)
3. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness (this is something I want more of in my life, for people to know me as a faithful person).
4. Delight yourself in the Lord (Sandra keeps reminding me)
5. Commit your way to the Lord
6. Trust in Him (wow, 2 times we are told to actively do this)
7. Be still before the Lord (oh, how hard is this - to listen to the Lord)
8. Wait patiently for Him (I often tend to run ahead of God, thinking I know better than He does).
What He has promised He will do (and He keeps His promises):
1. He will give you the desires of your heart (reminder: read it and believe it in context with the rest of the verse).
2. He will act (and we see so often in our own lives and in the lives of others His faithfulness to do this on our behalf). I was telling someone yesterday that it is very exciting to be at a "turning point" in our lives - because then we get to anticipate the incredible ways God is going to act on our behalf for His glory.
3. He will bring forth our righteousness (He is our righteousness, as Paul clearly says in 2 Cor 5.21 - but I think this also means our works of righteousness he will allow people to see - He will be our crown and our significance.
4. There's that word justice again - see note on last blog.

So...what does all this have to do with how I've grown (or not grown) this year. Do I still have some unmet desires. Yes, I am selfish and human. I am still being sanctified. But...how I have changed this year for the most part - is that I do find my satisfaction in Him. When thoughts of wants or loneliness or desires that aren't met yet come into mind causing me to sin (envy, covetousness, idolatry - wanting something more than Jesus) - I remind myself of who God is for me, Bible verses that deal with those issues, the faithfulness and reward of God. He is so much better.
How have you grown this year?

Psalm 107 and Thanksgiving

I woke up yesterday morning thinking I would hear a topical sermon on Thanksgiving and grace and the cross. No, no...not at Crossing, my official new church home here in Louisville. I heard a great sermon on Ps 107 - and how (in my terms) our thanksgiving should be wrapped up in the character of God.
These are the main points that Dustin pointed out from this Psalm: (and my thoughts on them)
Who God Is and What He Has Done:
Our God is the Merciful Deliverer and the Satisfier of souls who has given His people a place to dwell. How has God delivered you, satisfied your soul, and given you a place to dwell? He has delivered me from myself and my sinful, harmful tendencies (of gossip, laziness, and eating too much) and He satisfies me more deeply than anything here on this earth - or anything that I think could satisfy me. Oh, how I want to know that more. Even in the literal term of a place to dwell - He has brought me to Louisville and allowed friendships and opportunities out of being here.
Our God is the Chain Breaker who frees His children from their bonds. How has God broken your chains? Where do you need Him to? I need him to continue to break them in terms of competition and trying to impress people and running my mouth (opinions I call them). He has already been doing this - but I need him to continue as He faithfully will.
Our God is the Merciful Healer who brings healing by His Word. How has God brought healing through His Word? How do you need Him to? I need Him to make His Word even more real to me - so that I won't just read it and think He means what He says - but taste and see that the Lord is good in these above areas of satisfaction. And I need Him to make the Word real to me as I read it and get so bored with it at times. He is so gracious - and even when I come to Him out of boredom or halfheartedness - He heals with His Word by His faithfulness to meet me right where I am.
Our God is the Sovereign Ruler over all of His Creation who stills the storms. How has God brought you through the storms? How do you need Him to? I can see the last 15 months of my life and how God has orchestrated it divinely to His specifications. I can see how the last 4 months have been so much better with a church family and the community of believers here. I am thankful for new friendships to weather storms with you. And knowing that God is in control of all of them - no matter how long the winds blow. He is a good God who lets us see.
Our God is Righteous Judge who brings justice. How can God use us to bring justice as an act of thanksgiving? Justice and Thanksgiving. I'll continue to think about that one. Not usually something we put together.
I'm very thankful for another look in Scripture where I can see that the God is far above the worth of my praise - but He desires me to thank Him, have a heart attitude of thankfulness, and share that grace and thanksgiving with others.

Psalm 69 and Prayer

Lately I've been reading through Ephesians for my quiet times, but last night I had no desire to read it. So, I did something different. Sometime yesterday I read a blog on Psalm 69 - so I thought I might read that - and I did - and got so much stuff that tied in with JD's sermon on Sunday and community group last night.
I continued reading and outlining what God was teaching me this morning - so here you go:
Psalm 69 is written by David, the man after God's own heart. He was in some sort of affliction. We often as for intercessory prayer from others or our prayer lives pick up substantially when we are in affliction or experiencing hard times.
These are 5 things I learned about prayer from this psalm:
1. David prayed persistently. Verse 3: "I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God." He uses words like weary, parches, dim, waiting" - these are great words to describe his affliction - not ones of peace, harmony, and joy. These words are specifically used to relay the message of tiresome, long suffering, pain, uncomfortableness. These things aren't pleasant - Yet - he continues in his crying out - he keeps crying out - and he keeps crying out.
2. David acknowledges his sin. This is also something we don't like to do. First, we may recognize sin, but we don't like to confess it - especially to God (funny, because He already knows our sin whether we confess it or not - Ps 139). But, David sees that need. In verse 5, 19, 20 he says "O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Reproaches have broken my heart, so that I am in despair. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none." He not only acknowledges his sin, but he also is brokenhearted over his sin (Psalm 51). This is also something else I have found. Christians get good at confessing our sin (Catholics in confessionals, Protestants in counseling sessions or small groups), but how often are we broken over our sin - or how often do we HATE SIN?
3. David trusts in the nature of God. Three things are seen in verses 13, 16: "But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me." Here we see three glimpses into the character of God: good, steadfast love (His covenant, unchangingness), saving faithfulness (how His faithfulness is salvation to us - think about that for a second), and abundant mercy (not just what we need, or just enough - but abundant, overflowing compassion).
4. David gives worship to His God in his time of need. Verses 30-32, 34 are evidence of David's worshipping heart: "I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs. When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive. Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them." David praises and worships his God through son, thanksgiving (think about that as we celebrate Thanksgiving next week - Dustin is preaching on it this Sunday, can't wait!), in pleasing sacrifices, humility (obedient piety as Dr. Vogel preached on this morning), he even challenges all creation to worship their God (I think of the Summit Song - "Let the Sea and Everything in it" - that Will sings on the CD.) Oh, how God desires our worship in prayer - and prayer itself is an act of worship.
5. David recognizes God's faithfulness and His willingness to answer. How often would our prayers change if we actually believed God would answer them? How often do we pray with so little faith and so much disbelief - thinking we'll pray - but not counting on God to answer? Verse 33 says this: "For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners." He hears the needy (do you recognize yourself as needy - is that how we come to God or do we come to Him self-sufficient?). He doesn't despise us - He counts us as worthy, not as unworthy. I learned what it means to hold someone in contempt and despise them a few years ago - and then realized what that means in my relationship with Jesus. Oh, thank you Holy Spirit. He also knows our bondage and our need. Oh, how He has freed us from that bondage to sin and death. And He knows exactly what we need and when we need it!
So - my prayer life should change based on this teaching. What I loved about JD's sermon on Sunday - is prayer is not a matter of knowing how God will work or what He has pre-ordained. God tells us to pray - so we need to pray. And then in small group - how we pray for each other, care about each, follow-up with prayer requests. Amazing stuff.
So - pray, consistently pray, pray with worship, hate sin, and pray focused on the goodness and faithfulness of God! That's what this whole blog boils down to.

Psalm 20

This morning in chapel, Dan opened with the call to worship from this Psalm. I didn't even know where he was reading from, but found out later. Don't know what version he was reading from either, but I heard this:
"May the Lord fulfill all your petitions" - 20. 5b (ESV)
Once I found out where he was reading I went back and read it:
This is verse 4 and 5
May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
Last night (I know, backing up): I got to talk to Nena, my dear dear friend in St. Aug whom I've known for over 10 years and I love the girl! Anyway, when asked a question - I said something to the effect of "I know God's peace right now". I don't know how to describe it. Am I any richer? Am I married? Do I have a paid church staff ministry position? Am I as thin or as pretty as I want to be? No. But...
God has saved me, made a way for me to know Him, and has given me Himself - that is where my peace comes from. He has fulfilled all my petitions in Himself. This is probably the first time in my life that I can recall that I can honestly say I believe and know and am experiencing that. God is so so so gracious to me.
So, just thought I would share.

God is Good and Faithful in NC

Not that He is only good in the good state - but these are just reflections on this past weekend and God's goodness that He showed me:

1. A Riding Partner. Beth, a friend from here, rode with me down to Raleigh. We stayed at her in-laws' house in Charleston, WVa - so that made the trip shorter because it was broken up. Also, we had great conversation down there - what the Lord was doing, life in general, etc. And God provided financially as we were able to split the trip costs (tolls and gas). Thank you Beth!

2. I went to bed Saturday night and my quiet time was Eph 3.7 - "Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God's grace, which was given me by the working of his power." - Wow - what timing. I got to speak the next day on the gospel and Hope that is the power of the Cross - and the power of Christ! I was so excited that He gave me a chance to do that!

3. I spoke on Saturday of the doctrine of original sin, what sin looks like in the heart of women (pride, worry, fear, people pleasing, worldliness, ungodliness, etc), and then how our only Hope is the GOSPEL - JESUS. I have been planning and contemplating this for over a year now. As I sat on the floor during the last bit of worship and closing thoughts - I just felt an amazing weight lifted from me - like I could breathe again. God is so good!

4. Sunday morning getting to be at the Summit Church, sit under the worship leading of Jason Douglas. One of the songs we sang was None But Jesus - a song I am quite familiar with and one that I love. Here are the lyrics:

In the quiet, In the stillness, I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence, I know there I am restored
When You call i won't refuse, Each new day again I'll choose
There is no one else for me, None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free, Now I live to bring Him praise
In the chaos in confusion, I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness, You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won't delay, This my song through all my days
All my delight is in You Lord, All of my hope
All of my strength, All my delight is in You Lord, Forever more

Amazing. What a song to capture my thoughts from the weekend and the peace that flowed over me while singing that morning. (More on this in a coming blog)

5. Jason said something while introducing "Oh Glorious Day" - we are to live in light of the gospel. This is what I had said all weekend. Amazing how great the cohesiveness of the weekend was. We have to preach the gospel to ourselves everyday - and not live in the flesh and death of sin.

6. JD preached on prayer from Philippians. 1.9-11 says this: "And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." He brought the word "approve what is excellent" to a new light - we, as Christians, need to be attached to what is good - bind ourselves to Christ, and live in Jesus - through Jesus - all to HIS PRAISE - not ours.

7. Everytime I am at the Summit I am reminded of the 3 things I love about it: a. It is a worshipping church. As Clarissa put it - there is an intensity - that I have never known in another church. Thank you Chris and Jason and the band and choir. b. It is a giving church. Last year for the Christmas Missions offering - we gave over 200k. This money went to Durham, RDU, the IMB, church plants in America, church plants all over the world. Abby and Leslie gave video testimonies yesterday of how newly painted teachers' lounge and paintings on the wall in their elementary schools have made a way for them to share the gospel. c. It is a praying church. Curtis Crutchfield - amazing man of God. This church prays more than any other one I have been a part of as well.

8. I have been gone from NC for almost 2 years now and I still have friends there that push me to the gospel - that love me, that relate to me, that can ask me the tough questions, that I can have fun with - but that show me and point me to Jesus. So thankful!

9. The gorgeous creation. God is so faithful in that too. Even while sitting in my car waiting to get out of Southpoint - looking at the stormy sky mixed with the sunset - gorgeous. Or driving up Hwy 52 north of Winston-Salem, looking at Pilot Mtn and the rolling hills that are so beautiful. I'm so grateful for His continued faithfulness in Creation.