Ever read one of those paragraphs...that you want to read aloud to whoever is in the room and it expresses a new way of thinking or a new way of understanding a complex thought? Sorta an "aha" moment.
Here is one:
I am reading Kevin DeYoung's book The Good News We Almost Forgot - Rediscovering the Gospel in a 16th Century Catechism. Basically, Kevin takes the Heidelberg Catechism and applies the gospel found in it to modern day. Putting this hard to read or understand or even say in a fluid pattern - something in paragraph form and explaining it. Quite good. More of that later though.
"The Trinity matters for relationships. We worship a God who is in a constant and eternal relationship with Himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Community is a buzz word in American culture, but it is only in a Christian framework that communion and interpersonal community are seen as expressions of the eternal nature of God. Likewise, it is only with a Trinitarian God that love can be an eternal attribute of God. Without a plurality of persons in the Godhead, we would be forced to think taht God created humands so that He might show love and know love, thereby making love a created thing (and God a needy deity). But with a biblical understanding of the Trinity, we can say that God did not create in order to be loved, but rather, created out of the overflow of the perfect love that had always existed among Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who ever live in perfect and mutual relationship and delight." (p 52)
Love this. God didn't create us because He needed us. My friend, Sean Cordell, preached on this topic as well a few weeks ago at Treasuring Christ here in Raleigh: Pursuing Community. You can not know true community without the knowledge of the true Creator of Community.
We must know love and community only through an intimate relationship with the one who desires to be in community and sent Jesus to die to make that possible.
Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Book Review: Collaborate
In light of the title of the book, Collaborate is a collaborative effort by many ministers in the field of children, family, and student ministry to bring the best of the best of their ideas to the table. Chanley, at Southeast in Louisville, KY, put together these short chapters filled with excellent events you can do at your church to help bridge the gap that is evident in ministries and families across America.
Good things about this book:
1. Rob Rienow's chapter. I had read a bulk of the material for since I am familiar with Rob's writings, but it was a good reminder of WHY we do family ministry and WHY THERE IS A NEED for family ministry. The reason this chapter, for me, was the best out of this book is because it is the only one whose main focus was the theological reason behind family ministry. Others definitely drove Deut 6.4-9 into the ground and used that as an imperative for ministry - but Rob opened up the biblical mandate for Family Ministry and parenting and the church and the gospel. Theology, I know, wasn't the main point of this book. And Chanley and others definitely succeded in the aim of this book. (That's why there are multiple books out there, each with its specific niche.)
2. Rob Bradbury encouraged me by his list. Not only will this chapter be helpful as people sit down to plan out events - but he started with the most important, yet most often overlooked element. PRAYER. He listed prayer before advertising. How often to do plan, advertise, talk up, poster-up, get volunteers - even before we pray. At the church I serve, we have even noticed that this is not as big of a focus as we need it to be. So, we are taking many efforts to strengthen our prayer times in staff meetings or in our lives personally. Today, even, stopping in the middle of staff meeting to pray for a lady who walked through our doors during Joy Prom and said she had never (in 62 years, in the South) walked into a church. These are the things that need praying for.
3. Short chapters. I like books with short chapters because I feel like I can plow through a book without having to sit down and read for 2 hours straight. I like being able to end at a chapter, not in the middle of one.
4. Very practical. If you need ideas, or are stuck and uncreative (like I often am), this book will help bring some fresh new ideas from literally around the world to you.
One word of caution with this book: Picking up this book would lead some to believe that is all about activity - or events. Family Ministry is not event driven. It must NOT be. It has to be theology and gospel driven. God can and does use events to draw people to themselves (take Joy Prom for example, or youth camp, or VBS, or Family Fall night, but if it is event driven, we will just fill up a calendar and spend money. If it is gospel-driven - then hopefully God will use the church to make an impact in the lives of families. You can't get your people on board with events unless they know the why behind what you do.
That is my daily challenge. May it be your's as well.
Good things about this book:
1. Rob Rienow's chapter. I had read a bulk of the material for since I am familiar with Rob's writings, but it was a good reminder of WHY we do family ministry and WHY THERE IS A NEED for family ministry. The reason this chapter, for me, was the best out of this book is because it is the only one whose main focus was the theological reason behind family ministry. Others definitely drove Deut 6.4-9 into the ground and used that as an imperative for ministry - but Rob opened up the biblical mandate for Family Ministry and parenting and the church and the gospel. Theology, I know, wasn't the main point of this book. And Chanley and others definitely succeded in the aim of this book. (That's why there are multiple books out there, each with its specific niche.)
2. Rob Bradbury encouraged me by his list. Not only will this chapter be helpful as people sit down to plan out events - but he started with the most important, yet most often overlooked element. PRAYER. He listed prayer before advertising. How often to do plan, advertise, talk up, poster-up, get volunteers - even before we pray. At the church I serve, we have even noticed that this is not as big of a focus as we need it to be. So, we are taking many efforts to strengthen our prayer times in staff meetings or in our lives personally. Today, even, stopping in the middle of staff meeting to pray for a lady who walked through our doors during Joy Prom and said she had never (in 62 years, in the South) walked into a church. These are the things that need praying for.
3. Short chapters. I like books with short chapters because I feel like I can plow through a book without having to sit down and read for 2 hours straight. I like being able to end at a chapter, not in the middle of one.
4. Very practical. If you need ideas, or are stuck and uncreative (like I often am), this book will help bring some fresh new ideas from literally around the world to you.
One word of caution with this book: Picking up this book would lead some to believe that is all about activity - or events. Family Ministry is not event driven. It must NOT be. It has to be theology and gospel driven. God can and does use events to draw people to themselves (take Joy Prom for example, or youth camp, or VBS, or Family Fall night, but if it is event driven, we will just fill up a calendar and spend money. If it is gospel-driven - then hopefully God will use the church to make an impact in the lives of families. You can't get your people on board with events unless they know the why behind what you do.
That is my daily challenge. May it be your's as well.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Book Review: Ware's Big Truths for Young Hearts
Most people would not pick up this book and think of a seminary text book on theology (for example: Grudem, Erickson) - but this book is just as potent - just in paperback form!
Having the opportunity to work with Dr. Ware at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was definitely a highlight for me during my time there. Seeing the humility and focus on the gospel in which he and his wife lived their lives was a light. The best part of the book, in a way, was the forward which was written by Ware's daughters. They provided insight into long road trips and family dinners they had with their Dad. Dr. Ware lives this theology book. He just doesn't teach it in the classroom or preach it from the pulpit; he and his wife model it for their children, even now as they are grown women. They have had a godly example from which to pattern their lives after and as they raise their children by teaching them Big Truths for Young Hearts.
There are multiple uses for this book (and no, one of them is not hand it to a 10 year old and have them give you a book report on it in a month):
1. Read it. Especially if you are a new believer, or know new believers, Dr. Ware puts many difficult theological concepts in terms and with illustrations to make them easier to comprehend.
2. If you are a Dad: read it, share it with your family - even a chapter a week - at family devotion time. It would be a source of encouragement and edification for you. Read the chapter (short 2-4 pages mostly), then have discussion. Makes family worship easier. The end of each chapter even has questions for discussion (so you don't have to come up with those on your own either). This would be a great tool for Family Worship.
3. Praise. Many times at the end of each chapter, Dr. Ware breaks into a doxology of sorts. The idea that he models here for his readers is that knowing who God is (and Christ, the Spirit, the Church, Man, Salvation, End Times) should warrant our utmost praise! Maybe even break into song!
What I loved about this book is that it gave me broad segments of theology, didn't try to cover everything, was readable, had Scripture within the text, and gave me many "pierce the heart" moments of conviction. Here are some:
"How foolish we are when we forget to read and study this book. But how wise and blessed we are when we go to this book constantly for instruction, guidance, correction, and help with living life as God wants." (p 23 - The Bible)
"A grumbling spirit is sinful, because it fails to recognize God's goodness and kindness in providing for us every good thing in life that we enjoy." (p 69 - God Provides)
"If our punishment is a small thing, then when we learn that Jesus took our punishment upon himself, we think little of this. But, when we see our punishment as the great and weighty and horrible thing that it is, then it becomes a wonder and a marvel to us that Jesus took that punishment upon himself for us." (p 99 - Punishment for Sin)
"The Spirit will have a great influence and will provide more direction in our lives as God's Word "dwells" more and more within us. Our reading of his Word, our time spend memorizing and meditating on Scripture, is one of the main tools that the Spirit uses to help us think, feel, speak, and act in ways that are more and more pleasing to Christ." (p 167 - Spirit)
"We love many things in this world that we shouldn't love, yet we don't love God as we should." (p 171 - God's Kindness and Wisdom)
Believe me, there are many other sentences and paragraphs underlined in my copy. Read it. May it be an encouragement to you and may it be a tool you can use to help lead your family in knowing God deeper.
Having the opportunity to work with Dr. Ware at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was definitely a highlight for me during my time there. Seeing the humility and focus on the gospel in which he and his wife lived their lives was a light. The best part of the book, in a way, was the forward which was written by Ware's daughters. They provided insight into long road trips and family dinners they had with their Dad. Dr. Ware lives this theology book. He just doesn't teach it in the classroom or preach it from the pulpit; he and his wife model it for their children, even now as they are grown women. They have had a godly example from which to pattern their lives after and as they raise their children by teaching them Big Truths for Young Hearts.
There are multiple uses for this book (and no, one of them is not hand it to a 10 year old and have them give you a book report on it in a month):
1. Read it. Especially if you are a new believer, or know new believers, Dr. Ware puts many difficult theological concepts in terms and with illustrations to make them easier to comprehend.
2. If you are a Dad: read it, share it with your family - even a chapter a week - at family devotion time. It would be a source of encouragement and edification for you. Read the chapter (short 2-4 pages mostly), then have discussion. Makes family worship easier. The end of each chapter even has questions for discussion (so you don't have to come up with those on your own either). This would be a great tool for Family Worship.
3. Praise. Many times at the end of each chapter, Dr. Ware breaks into a doxology of sorts. The idea that he models here for his readers is that knowing who God is (and Christ, the Spirit, the Church, Man, Salvation, End Times) should warrant our utmost praise! Maybe even break into song!
What I loved about this book is that it gave me broad segments of theology, didn't try to cover everything, was readable, had Scripture within the text, and gave me many "pierce the heart" moments of conviction. Here are some:
"How foolish we are when we forget to read and study this book. But how wise and blessed we are when we go to this book constantly for instruction, guidance, correction, and help with living life as God wants." (p 23 - The Bible)
"A grumbling spirit is sinful, because it fails to recognize God's goodness and kindness in providing for us every good thing in life that we enjoy." (p 69 - God Provides)
"If our punishment is a small thing, then when we learn that Jesus took our punishment upon himself, we think little of this. But, when we see our punishment as the great and weighty and horrible thing that it is, then it becomes a wonder and a marvel to us that Jesus took that punishment upon himself for us." (p 99 - Punishment for Sin)
"The Spirit will have a great influence and will provide more direction in our lives as God's Word "dwells" more and more within us. Our reading of his Word, our time spend memorizing and meditating on Scripture, is one of the main tools that the Spirit uses to help us think, feel, speak, and act in ways that are more and more pleasing to Christ." (p 167 - Spirit)
"We love many things in this world that we shouldn't love, yet we don't love God as we should." (p 171 - God's Kindness and Wisdom)
Believe me, there are many other sentences and paragraphs underlined in my copy. Read it. May it be an encouragement to you and may it be a tool you can use to help lead your family in knowing God deeper.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Book Review: Our Home is Like a Little Church
Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, KY is graced to have many talented people in her body. There are artists, writers, singers, players, cookers, - so many.
What I really like about this one is it a simple reminder (complete with rhyming syntax, fun type, and creative characters) of what "worship-at-home" could look like.
Often, in this discussion of family worship, people ask "How do I do that?' There isn't anything you MUST do to have family worship or have to incorporate for it to be right. If you aren't singers, you don't have to sing. If you aren't into poetry, you don't have to have a reading time. Family Worship can start simply by just reading 10 verses, talking about it, and praying together as a family. Maybe that will take 10 minutes. Maybe you will do that once a month. Maybe you'll do it once a week. The simple equation: just do something. Maybe you are gifted at the guitar or piano or writing songs or creative motions - incorporate those. There is so much freedom in this concept of family worship. Maybe your children love to draw - show them how their drawings can be an act of worship - as they share with the family what God taught them through that practice.
Sojourn tries to remind parents that they should be taking the lead in family worship, that the Dad should be shepherding his family in this way (just as the Pastor would do at the church). An underlying theological truth that is hinted at is that male leadership is a right Biblical concept. This is stated in their goal of this book: "was written to teach preschool children the Christian truth evident...that the home is a little church where the father teaches his family God's commands and leads them to worship the one true God."
And in accomplishing this goal very well, Sojourn also puts forth the co-championing model of Family Worship: "God intended the home to be the front line of ministry to children - not the Sunday School or public church gathering ALONE." This is even intentional throughout the book as on one side of the page there is what we do in church and on the adjacent side if what we do at home.
One critique: this is more of a cultural one. Unfortunately, many marriages/families even within evangelical churches are lead by a single mother. Whether that is by divorce/separation/never present father/unwed teen moms/death - the reality is clear and present. The book is designed to appeal to "cookie cutter" Christian families. How does this work when given to a single Mom who is at her rope's end because her kids are driving her crazy with all the other demands of being a single parent? One way to use this would be to give it to her, but then do a couple things:
1. Pray (with her) that God would give her strength and grace to accomplish this task of raising her children and discipling them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
2. Pair her up with another Mom (single or married) who is leading well in this area.
3. Don't just send her on her way - make sure she is being cared for, loved on, and nurtured.
This book would be an excellent, inexpensive tool to share with new parents, or new parents in your preschool ministry at your church - about what you expect of them as parents and leading the way in Family Worship.
What I really like about this one is it a simple reminder (complete with rhyming syntax, fun type, and creative characters) of what "worship-at-home" could look like.
Often, in this discussion of family worship, people ask "How do I do that?' There isn't anything you MUST do to have family worship or have to incorporate for it to be right. If you aren't singers, you don't have to sing. If you aren't into poetry, you don't have to have a reading time. Family Worship can start simply by just reading 10 verses, talking about it, and praying together as a family. Maybe that will take 10 minutes. Maybe you will do that once a month. Maybe you'll do it once a week. The simple equation: just do something. Maybe you are gifted at the guitar or piano or writing songs or creative motions - incorporate those. There is so much freedom in this concept of family worship. Maybe your children love to draw - show them how their drawings can be an act of worship - as they share with the family what God taught them through that practice.
Sojourn tries to remind parents that they should be taking the lead in family worship, that the Dad should be shepherding his family in this way (just as the Pastor would do at the church). An underlying theological truth that is hinted at is that male leadership is a right Biblical concept. This is stated in their goal of this book: "was written to teach preschool children the Christian truth evident...that the home is a little church where the father teaches his family God's commands and leads them to worship the one true God."
And in accomplishing this goal very well, Sojourn also puts forth the co-championing model of Family Worship: "God intended the home to be the front line of ministry to children - not the Sunday School or public church gathering ALONE." This is even intentional throughout the book as on one side of the page there is what we do in church and on the adjacent side if what we do at home.
One critique: this is more of a cultural one. Unfortunately, many marriages/families even within evangelical churches are lead by a single mother. Whether that is by divorce/separation/never present father/unwed teen moms/death - the reality is clear and present. The book is designed to appeal to "cookie cutter" Christian families. How does this work when given to a single Mom who is at her rope's end because her kids are driving her crazy with all the other demands of being a single parent? One way to use this would be to give it to her, but then do a couple things:
1. Pray (with her) that God would give her strength and grace to accomplish this task of raising her children and discipling them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
2. Pair her up with another Mom (single or married) who is leading well in this area.
3. Don't just send her on her way - make sure she is being cared for, loved on, and nurtured.
This book would be an excellent, inexpensive tool to share with new parents, or new parents in your preschool ministry at your church - about what you expect of them as parents and leading the way in Family Worship.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Winner's Mudhouse Sabbath
There is more to this book than just a cool title.
My friend Janel had this book at her apt when I went to visit in January. I had just started reading through the Bible doing B90x (which I'm still doing by the way) and this aided in my understanding of some of the Jewish laws. With all the fun that we had that wknd, I only got about halfway through it before I left (I'm not a fast reader). But, I was so intrigued by it that I had to pick it up later and finish it. I just did.
This book was helpful in learning more about the laws and customs of Judaism, modern and ancient. This was helpful in seeing a Christian Jew live out her faith but not be under the obligations of the law. Helped to see how community and the law are so important to folks who are devout Jews.
Winner covers many different aspects: food, the sabbath, hospitality, death, doorposts, weddings, candles, etc. All offered insight into what was practiced, what is still being practiced, and how a Christian can incorporate these practices into her life.
On Fasting: "People who have fasted for years tell me there will come a time when I look forward to fasting." (88). Man - this is hard. I remember in recent churches I have been in when the pastors would call the church to a corporate fast. I would try to do it. Most of the tie, I did it out of trying to please certain pastors. Not in an effort to pray and seek the face of God as part of the beautiful Bride of Christ. So, I did it more out of pride, man-pleasing, and legalism and I always failed at it.
On Fasting: "When I am sated, it is easy to feel independent. When I am hungry, it is possible to remember where my dependence lies." (91) This applies to more than just food. Yes, food is the way Lauren talks about it here - but more recently I come to recognize this in finances and material goods. God has been more than gracious to me in so many ways and there is nothing for which I want. But, even toward the end of the month where I have to be more careful and rely on him for guidance on spending and scheduling - I realize that I need to do that all through the month and not just the last week. God is good.
On Aging: "Christianity and Judaism both offer narratives that make sense of death." (101). A few months ago I thought about this paragraph (yes, before I read it). There were a coupld of deaths in my life that occurred all in a short span of time. And I was also helping others through greiving, etc. I started to think that we would never understand death. I came to the conclusion that we were never meant to understand death because we weren't created with death in mind. Adam and Eve were created to live with God in the garden in perfect harmony forever. Then...SIN. Sin is what brought death. God made a way to conquer death - but He never said he would explain it to us.
On Candles: "Even when I am lighiting two thin tapers over dinner, I like to think about the light of Christ rectifying the sin by which came death to the world. The Light of Christ, I sometimes say to myself, Thanks be to God." (119) Most of the time when we have lit candles in our homes they are to create ambience or help eliminate odor. I wonder what would happen if Glade or Yankee Candle Co started marketing to Christians as way a remember this Light of the World. Probably what would be the result is some cheezy fish candle or cross candle just like Testamints or other silly things like that. But, what would happen if we lit candles in our home and made it an intential part of that lighting to thank God for sending the Light of the World to use so that we could behold his glory and truth?
My friend Janel had this book at her apt when I went to visit in January. I had just started reading through the Bible doing B90x (which I'm still doing by the way) and this aided in my understanding of some of the Jewish laws. With all the fun that we had that wknd, I only got about halfway through it before I left (I'm not a fast reader). But, I was so intrigued by it that I had to pick it up later and finish it. I just did.
This book was helpful in learning more about the laws and customs of Judaism, modern and ancient. This was helpful in seeing a Christian Jew live out her faith but not be under the obligations of the law. Helped to see how community and the law are so important to folks who are devout Jews.
Winner covers many different aspects: food, the sabbath, hospitality, death, doorposts, weddings, candles, etc. All offered insight into what was practiced, what is still being practiced, and how a Christian can incorporate these practices into her life.
On Fasting: "People who have fasted for years tell me there will come a time when I look forward to fasting." (88). Man - this is hard. I remember in recent churches I have been in when the pastors would call the church to a corporate fast. I would try to do it. Most of the tie, I did it out of trying to please certain pastors. Not in an effort to pray and seek the face of God as part of the beautiful Bride of Christ. So, I did it more out of pride, man-pleasing, and legalism and I always failed at it.
On Fasting: "When I am sated, it is easy to feel independent. When I am hungry, it is possible to remember where my dependence lies." (91) This applies to more than just food. Yes, food is the way Lauren talks about it here - but more recently I come to recognize this in finances and material goods. God has been more than gracious to me in so many ways and there is nothing for which I want. But, even toward the end of the month where I have to be more careful and rely on him for guidance on spending and scheduling - I realize that I need to do that all through the month and not just the last week. God is good.
On Aging: "Christianity and Judaism both offer narratives that make sense of death." (101). A few months ago I thought about this paragraph (yes, before I read it). There were a coupld of deaths in my life that occurred all in a short span of time. And I was also helping others through greiving, etc. I started to think that we would never understand death. I came to the conclusion that we were never meant to understand death because we weren't created with death in mind. Adam and Eve were created to live with God in the garden in perfect harmony forever. Then...SIN. Sin is what brought death. God made a way to conquer death - but He never said he would explain it to us.
On Candles: "Even when I am lighiting two thin tapers over dinner, I like to think about the light of Christ rectifying the sin by which came death to the world. The Light of Christ, I sometimes say to myself, Thanks be to God." (119) Most of the time when we have lit candles in our homes they are to create ambience or help eliminate odor. I wonder what would happen if Glade or Yankee Candle Co started marketing to Christians as way a remember this Light of the World. Probably what would be the result is some cheezy fish candle or cross candle just like Testamints or other silly things like that. But, what would happen if we lit candles in our home and made it an intential part of that lighting to thank God for sending the Light of the World to use so that we could behold his glory and truth?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Greg Gilbert's What is the Gospel?
This book has received so much coverage in the blogosphere - probably since Crazy Love. I picked up this book as soon as it came out - and just finished it. I got to be friends with Greg and his wife, Moriah, while attending the same church in Louisville, KY a few years ago. They both lived out much of this book in their friendship with me: whether it was attending their son's soccer game, eating at the Homemade Pie and Ice Cream Kitchen, or just chilling in their home, or serving hot dogs to the 3rd avenue neighbors.
Greg, at the very beginning, explains his goals for writing this book (I like that, I don't need to wonder what they are). Here is my paraphrase of them:
1. Bring more joy to Christians. "An emaciated gospel leads to emaciated worship." (20) As one of the guys I serve with said this morning, us knowing our sin more (being made more aware of how sinful we are), we will indeed know the gospel - how good and amazing God is - more.
2. Evangelistic. Greg does not suppose that everyone reading this book is a believer. This would be a great book to read in a new believers/interested in Christianity class at a church. 8 chapters - that 2 months, or over the summer, its not overwhelming!
3. Community. "Also, Christian, the gospel should drive you to a deeper and livelier love for God's people, the church." (117) Very clearly we see the need for this in our local body. There are many factions within most local churches. So many do not know those they serve with - or sit next to Sunday after Sunday. This means more than just shaking their hand during the very awkward "greet" time. This means pouring into the lives of those you "do church" with. Get to know them - hear their heartbeat, know what drives them.
4. Clarity. A few months ago there was this "competition" on Twitter to post the gospel in less than 140 characters. how difficult is that? That even paved the way for this goal of Greg's - we need to KNOW what the gospel is and be able to articulate it to a lost and dying world - or confused church attenders.
5. Apologetics. Wow, what a great tool this would be on a college campus - for use in a small group, dorm Bible study. Just having it out on your nightstand or coffee table, or in your car (to read at traffic lights or coffee shops) would definitely open up the door wide for conversations.
These 5 goals of Greg's are clearly met in every chapter of this book. I highly recommend it. Below are some more personal thoughts I have had while reading it:
There is a post-it note on my vanity mirror right now at home - its been up there 10 days, and as I was reminded of it by someone this morning - I think it will stay up there: Jonah 2:8-9: paraphrased: if I cling to worthless idols, I forfeit my hope of steadfast love - by the Savior of the world. Greg puts it like this: "For human beings to consider their Creator and then decide that a wood or metal image of a frog or a bird or even themselves is more valuable is that height of insult and rebellion against God." (29)
Almost immediately after starting my new ministry here in Raleigh, I heard this verse from one of the pastors - Greg writes it here - from 1 Corinthians 15: paraphrased: Christ died for our sins is of UTMOST importance - but He is not still dead - He lives - so we can live too!
As we think about goals and life dreams (not just at New Years or Birthdays): "They had goals and desires that were categorically opposed to what God desired for them, and so they sinned." (50). Do you ever stop to wonder and pray and seek God's face to ask him if the goals you have and the goals He has for you are the same? One of those things that would be good to know!
Thanks Greg for writing this!
Greg, at the very beginning, explains his goals for writing this book (I like that, I don't need to wonder what they are). Here is my paraphrase of them:
1. Bring more joy to Christians. "An emaciated gospel leads to emaciated worship." (20) As one of the guys I serve with said this morning, us knowing our sin more (being made more aware of how sinful we are), we will indeed know the gospel - how good and amazing God is - more.
2. Evangelistic. Greg does not suppose that everyone reading this book is a believer. This would be a great book to read in a new believers/interested in Christianity class at a church. 8 chapters - that 2 months, or over the summer, its not overwhelming!
3. Community. "Also, Christian, the gospel should drive you to a deeper and livelier love for God's people, the church." (117) Very clearly we see the need for this in our local body. There are many factions within most local churches. So many do not know those they serve with - or sit next to Sunday after Sunday. This means more than just shaking their hand during the very awkward "greet" time. This means pouring into the lives of those you "do church" with. Get to know them - hear their heartbeat, know what drives them.
4. Clarity. A few months ago there was this "competition" on Twitter to post the gospel in less than 140 characters. how difficult is that? That even paved the way for this goal of Greg's - we need to KNOW what the gospel is and be able to articulate it to a lost and dying world - or confused church attenders.
5. Apologetics. Wow, what a great tool this would be on a college campus - for use in a small group, dorm Bible study. Just having it out on your nightstand or coffee table, or in your car (to read at traffic lights or coffee shops) would definitely open up the door wide for conversations.
These 5 goals of Greg's are clearly met in every chapter of this book. I highly recommend it. Below are some more personal thoughts I have had while reading it:
There is a post-it note on my vanity mirror right now at home - its been up there 10 days, and as I was reminded of it by someone this morning - I think it will stay up there: Jonah 2:8-9: paraphrased: if I cling to worthless idols, I forfeit my hope of steadfast love - by the Savior of the world. Greg puts it like this: "For human beings to consider their Creator and then decide that a wood or metal image of a frog or a bird or even themselves is more valuable is that height of insult and rebellion against God." (29)
Almost immediately after starting my new ministry here in Raleigh, I heard this verse from one of the pastors - Greg writes it here - from 1 Corinthians 15: paraphrased: Christ died for our sins is of UTMOST importance - but He is not still dead - He lives - so we can live too!
As we think about goals and life dreams (not just at New Years or Birthdays): "They had goals and desires that were categorically opposed to what God desired for them, and so they sinned." (50). Do you ever stop to wonder and pray and seek God's face to ask him if the goals you have and the goals He has for you are the same? One of those things that would be good to know!
Thanks Greg for writing this!
Friday, March 26, 2010
True Woman Conference Chattanooga - Mary Kassian
How many of you have messed something up because you were too proud or stubborn to follow the directions? Over the past few decades, we women decided we needed to put out a new definition of womanhood. Men and women are the same and should be treated the same. Being like men became our highest goal. Men should be more like women; and women should be more like men.
Genesis of Gender (God’s original design for male and female – the directions – the theological meat of gender). Genesis 1 reveals male and female are more like God than anything else in the universe:
1.26-27 “Let us make man in our image.” God is talking to God – the Father is talking to the Son. God created male and female in His image. There is something about the us of God – the relationship of the Trinity – that speaks to gender. He created male and female, gender displays God. How we relate is an object lesson, a parable, the story isn’t about us. Scripture saiys God created sons and daughters to display HIS GLORY. Male and female are the focal point of everything God made. When you observe the differences in male and female, all these things tell a story. Gender and sex constantly display truth about God.
Paul says in Romans 1 that people are without excuse because gender screams out two truths about God: His power and his diving nature. He wants us to get it. Eph 5 connects the dots, marriage and sex, male and female, all illustrate the Gospel Story. That is why God created male and female. Before the foundation of the earth, God knew the story of the Gospel – He had this in mind when He made male and female in the garden during the week of Creation.
12 differences in male and female evident in creation (Girls Gone Wise, Chapter 9):
1. Male is uniquely male – he is firstborn. 2.7. God created male first. This is not random. The firstborn son held a special position in the family – responsible to carry out his father’s instruction. Adam was the firstborn of the human race. Romans tells us that in Adam, all die. This points us to Christ – Col 1 – he took Adam’s place. He is the firstborn, the last Adam, the representative for all who place their trust in Him (Hebrews). Paul tells Timothy the reason men are called to be leaders of the church is because Adam was created first. Men need to step up and be responsible for the church family; as well as his earthly family (Eph 5).
2. The male was put in the garden. 2.15. God took the man from where he was created and put him in the garden. God created man out in the wild, from the dust of the dessert, and put him in the Garden of Eden. A garden is a place with specified boundaries.
3. The male was commissioned to work. 2.15. Work is translated for tilling soil. It contains the idea of serving someone else. Man’s life in the garden was not for himself, but he was to provide for his family’s need. The primary responsibility for provision for a family lies with the man; this is in their makeup.
4. The male was commissioned to protect. 2.15. “Keep” translates to be in charge of, oversight, to be attentive, protect what is in one’s charge. He created men to be stronger, more suited for a fight.
5. The male receives spiritual instruction. 2.16-17. Before woman arrived on the scene, God put the instruction to the man. Woman had a personal relationship with the Lord, but as leader of his newly formed family unit – he needed to know God’s command.
6. The male learned to exercise authority. 2.19. This “naming of the animals” was a training exercise for authority. He was mentoring him in how to do that – how to govern well. He wanted him to exercise that authority with gentleness, care, and wisdom.
7. The female was created from the male. 2.22.23. We need to remember where we came from. We are not to regard that which we were created from as lesser than us. It was proper for the woman to have a sense of respect for the male from which she was created.
8. The female was created for the male. 2.22. It was not the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. The Hebrew preposition denotes direction – with reference to, or towards him, his existence led to hers. We have fallen so far from the created order. When brides walk down the aisle, we need to be thinking “I was created for this man.”
9. The female was created to help. 2.20. Help with what? She is a helper “fit” for him – a like opposite – a complement to him. His purpose was to glorify God – woman helps man glorify God more than man could do by himself.
10. The female deferred to the male. 2.23. She didn’t try to have dominion over him.
11. The female was the perfect counterpart. 2.25. The sound of the ish and the isha are similar, but ish comes from the root: strength, and isha comes from the root: soft. Strength and soft. She is able to receive. The biblical meaning for strength: a champion valiantly serving his people, manhood, virility. Woman’s corresponding softness is her ability to give life, directed by inner strength. The bodies of male and female show this. A woman’s body is meant to receive; a man’s body is designed to give. She is the beautiful soft woman. Each is a beautiful counterpart. According to Scripture, it is a woman’s softness, our ability to nurture, that is our greatest strength.
12. The woman was created in the garden. Gen 2.15. Female was created in a place of safety. The place that was designed as a place of authority by her husband. She is the constant beneficiary of the protection God has put in her life.
God’s design for biblical manhood and womanhood is spectacular. The sexes complement each other – both exult to the glory of the Gospel. Ultimately, that is what women and men are supposed to do. God designed creation and gender in this way so we could have a display of the Gospel – the story of His Son and His Bride. It also gave us a picture of longing, desire, and relationship. The visible symbols give picture to the unseen – that is why gender is SO important. Is it any wonder Satan tries to destroy this picture? It is where we hurt the most.
Conclusion:
1. God has a spectactular design for your womanhood. He has a pattern for what He wants for you to be as woman. It is very profound and significant.
2. God wants you to say yes to His design. He wants you to recognize the ways you have messed up your life by not wanting to read the directions. It is not a cookie-cutter or a list. True womanhood says yes to God and His right to be God. I am a true woman when I acknowledge that God has the best insight into who I am and how I should live.
3. God will do an amazing work of restoration.
Genesis of Gender (God’s original design for male and female – the directions – the theological meat of gender). Genesis 1 reveals male and female are more like God than anything else in the universe:
1.26-27 “Let us make man in our image.” God is talking to God – the Father is talking to the Son. God created male and female in His image. There is something about the us of God – the relationship of the Trinity – that speaks to gender. He created male and female, gender displays God. How we relate is an object lesson, a parable, the story isn’t about us. Scripture saiys God created sons and daughters to display HIS GLORY. Male and female are the focal point of everything God made. When you observe the differences in male and female, all these things tell a story. Gender and sex constantly display truth about God.
Paul says in Romans 1 that people are without excuse because gender screams out two truths about God: His power and his diving nature. He wants us to get it. Eph 5 connects the dots, marriage and sex, male and female, all illustrate the Gospel Story. That is why God created male and female. Before the foundation of the earth, God knew the story of the Gospel – He had this in mind when He made male and female in the garden during the week of Creation.
12 differences in male and female evident in creation (Girls Gone Wise, Chapter 9):
1. Male is uniquely male – he is firstborn. 2.7. God created male first. This is not random. The firstborn son held a special position in the family – responsible to carry out his father’s instruction. Adam was the firstborn of the human race. Romans tells us that in Adam, all die. This points us to Christ – Col 1 – he took Adam’s place. He is the firstborn, the last Adam, the representative for all who place their trust in Him (Hebrews). Paul tells Timothy the reason men are called to be leaders of the church is because Adam was created first. Men need to step up and be responsible for the church family; as well as his earthly family (Eph 5).
2. The male was put in the garden. 2.15. God took the man from where he was created and put him in the garden. God created man out in the wild, from the dust of the dessert, and put him in the Garden of Eden. A garden is a place with specified boundaries.
3. The male was commissioned to work. 2.15. Work is translated for tilling soil. It contains the idea of serving someone else. Man’s life in the garden was not for himself, but he was to provide for his family’s need. The primary responsibility for provision for a family lies with the man; this is in their makeup.
4. The male was commissioned to protect. 2.15. “Keep” translates to be in charge of, oversight, to be attentive, protect what is in one’s charge. He created men to be stronger, more suited for a fight.
5. The male receives spiritual instruction. 2.16-17. Before woman arrived on the scene, God put the instruction to the man. Woman had a personal relationship with the Lord, but as leader of his newly formed family unit – he needed to know God’s command.
6. The male learned to exercise authority. 2.19. This “naming of the animals” was a training exercise for authority. He was mentoring him in how to do that – how to govern well. He wanted him to exercise that authority with gentleness, care, and wisdom.
7. The female was created from the male. 2.22.23. We need to remember where we came from. We are not to regard that which we were created from as lesser than us. It was proper for the woman to have a sense of respect for the male from which she was created.
8. The female was created for the male. 2.22. It was not the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. The Hebrew preposition denotes direction – with reference to, or towards him, his existence led to hers. We have fallen so far from the created order. When brides walk down the aisle, we need to be thinking “I was created for this man.”
9. The female was created to help. 2.20. Help with what? She is a helper “fit” for him – a like opposite – a complement to him. His purpose was to glorify God – woman helps man glorify God more than man could do by himself.
10. The female deferred to the male. 2.23. She didn’t try to have dominion over him.
11. The female was the perfect counterpart. 2.25. The sound of the ish and the isha are similar, but ish comes from the root: strength, and isha comes from the root: soft. Strength and soft. She is able to receive. The biblical meaning for strength: a champion valiantly serving his people, manhood, virility. Woman’s corresponding softness is her ability to give life, directed by inner strength. The bodies of male and female show this. A woman’s body is meant to receive; a man’s body is designed to give. She is the beautiful soft woman. Each is a beautiful counterpart. According to Scripture, it is a woman’s softness, our ability to nurture, that is our greatest strength.
12. The woman was created in the garden. Gen 2.15. Female was created in a place of safety. The place that was designed as a place of authority by her husband. She is the constant beneficiary of the protection God has put in her life.
God’s design for biblical manhood and womanhood is spectacular. The sexes complement each other – both exult to the glory of the Gospel. Ultimately, that is what women and men are supposed to do. God designed creation and gender in this way so we could have a display of the Gospel – the story of His Son and His Bride. It also gave us a picture of longing, desire, and relationship. The visible symbols give picture to the unseen – that is why gender is SO important. Is it any wonder Satan tries to destroy this picture? It is where we hurt the most.
Conclusion:
1. God has a spectactular design for your womanhood. He has a pattern for what He wants for you to be as woman. It is very profound and significant.
2. God wants you to say yes to His design. He wants you to recognize the ways you have messed up your life by not wanting to read the directions. It is not a cookie-cutter or a list. True womanhood says yes to God and His right to be God. I am a true woman when I acknowledge that God has the best insight into who I am and how I should live.
3. God will do an amazing work of restoration.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Personal Reflections on Counsel From the Cross (Elyse Fitzpatrick)
There are a few women authors who I love: Mary Kassian, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Carolyn McCulley and Mahaney, Francine Rivers, Melanie Jetschke, and this one: Elyse Fitzpatrick. These women all write with a focus on the cross.
None more than this book. This book is meant to be used as a tool in how to counsel those who come to you for help - but also can be used to preach the gospel to yourself.
I've been reading it this semester with a friend of mine, Becca, and it has been a tool that has shaped both of us (I'm thankful that she gave it to me as a bday gift).
One of the biggest truths this book has made me realize is that I don't love very well: honestly and truly love faithfully. It is so hard to love without wanting anything in return or loving those who don't love me. Bring in the gospel: I can't do it - but the Cross is big enough to love through me.
"The Bible also mentions another conduit through which the Father pours his mercy and power into the hearts of his children: deep, meaningful fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the church." (47) As I get ready to leave Louisville after 2.7 years I look back at the relationships I have here. Many women have played a crucial part in my sanctification here: Laura D, Bonnie M, Becca B, Cynthia B, Shana S, Tracy H, Aarica M, Rayann J, Brandi L, Sarah V, Sarah M, Sarah M, Amber P, Lindsay W. But, I also look forward to the women who are in Raleigh who will also (and have) played an important role in my sanctification: Rach W, Sarah M, Tina W, Clariss B, Bonnie B, Vern G, Erin H, Maggie M, Steph C, and I look forward to new girls I will meet there. Also, I think about the wider body of Christ and how women all over have played a role in my sanctification: Phyllis R, Mom, Nena T, Kathy K, Lisa M, Laura M, Janel B, Mary K, Jaye M. What I'm trying to say is: God uses women in my life - not just in the life of the local body of believers - to have a real sanctifying power on my life - because they are rooted in the Gospel too! Thank you to these women and I can't wait to live more of life with each of you!
"In a profound sense, we have been given only two commands: to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus affirms that all other directives in Scripture depend on these two and provide commentary on what it means to love God supremely and to love others as we love ourselves. Just these two simple commands, and yet, every sin we commit finds its genesis in a failure to obey one of the other or both." (55)
And there you have it: the root of all SIN.
"When we don't love others, we will fear them too. We will fear what they might think of us, say about us, or do to us. Our fear will enslave us; we will be tied to their opinions, wants, and demands. Without fervent love driving and informing all our relationships, we will constantly swing back and forth between slavish, joyless servitude (motivated by guilt and self-love) and self-sufficiency and anger (motivated by pride and self-love)." (56)
"Do you _____? If so, you are missing the gospel; you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but God graciously chose you when there wasn't one drop of grace in your soul and nothing to recommend you to him." (77) - Total depravity and Unconditional Election - gotta love the truths of Scripture!
"Gospel-centered counseling is counseling based on Scripture that defines us as God does and then applies both gospel declarations and gospel obligations to every sin problem we encounter." (93) This is so different than much "Christian counseling" today.
"We will never be truly free from self-condemnation and the desire for approval until we grasp this fact. We were so sinful we had to die. Personal reformation won't help. We need death." (94).
This is a big area in which I struggle - need to always preach the gospel to myself every day: "If the message of the gospel does not inform every thought, word, and deed, our striving to put off and put on will disintegrate into another way to gain the approval of others, ourselves, and even the Lord." (108)
One area I struggle in is fear of man - ongoing but Christ is slowly changing it. "Because of His sinless life, we can stop worrying about our reputation or trying to make ourselves look good in the eyes of others. We are sinful and flawed but loved and welcomed. We have been counted righteous." (137)
This is something I desperately need to act upon: "He loves us because he chooses to love us, and the depth of our defection from him should produce in us great humility, gratitude, and patience with others' failures." (153)
The past 2 years (almost) I've been in churches that practice Communion every week. That has been some of the BEST of Louisville: "How frequently do we fail to remember him, even during the Lord's Supper, because we are so focused on our glory story that the story of the cross seems weak, passe, and hackneyed? All we are called to do is to remember, and we can't even do that." (174)
This is another book to read - maybe in light of Easter - that is soon approaching!
None more than this book. This book is meant to be used as a tool in how to counsel those who come to you for help - but also can be used to preach the gospel to yourself.
I've been reading it this semester with a friend of mine, Becca, and it has been a tool that has shaped both of us (I'm thankful that she gave it to me as a bday gift).
One of the biggest truths this book has made me realize is that I don't love very well: honestly and truly love faithfully. It is so hard to love without wanting anything in return or loving those who don't love me. Bring in the gospel: I can't do it - but the Cross is big enough to love through me.
"The Bible also mentions another conduit through which the Father pours his mercy and power into the hearts of his children: deep, meaningful fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the church." (47) As I get ready to leave Louisville after 2.7 years I look back at the relationships I have here. Many women have played a crucial part in my sanctification here: Laura D, Bonnie M, Becca B, Cynthia B, Shana S, Tracy H, Aarica M, Rayann J, Brandi L, Sarah V, Sarah M, Sarah M, Amber P, Lindsay W. But, I also look forward to the women who are in Raleigh who will also (and have) played an important role in my sanctification: Rach W, Sarah M, Tina W, Clariss B, Bonnie B, Vern G, Erin H, Maggie M, Steph C, and I look forward to new girls I will meet there. Also, I think about the wider body of Christ and how women all over have played a role in my sanctification: Phyllis R, Mom, Nena T, Kathy K, Lisa M, Laura M, Janel B, Mary K, Jaye M. What I'm trying to say is: God uses women in my life - not just in the life of the local body of believers - to have a real sanctifying power on my life - because they are rooted in the Gospel too! Thank you to these women and I can't wait to live more of life with each of you!
"In a profound sense, we have been given only two commands: to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus affirms that all other directives in Scripture depend on these two and provide commentary on what it means to love God supremely and to love others as we love ourselves. Just these two simple commands, and yet, every sin we commit finds its genesis in a failure to obey one of the other or both." (55)
And there you have it: the root of all SIN.
"When we don't love others, we will fear them too. We will fear what they might think of us, say about us, or do to us. Our fear will enslave us; we will be tied to their opinions, wants, and demands. Without fervent love driving and informing all our relationships, we will constantly swing back and forth between slavish, joyless servitude (motivated by guilt and self-love) and self-sufficiency and anger (motivated by pride and self-love)." (56)
"Do you _____? If so, you are missing the gospel; you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but God graciously chose you when there wasn't one drop of grace in your soul and nothing to recommend you to him." (77) - Total depravity and Unconditional Election - gotta love the truths of Scripture!
"Gospel-centered counseling is counseling based on Scripture that defines us as God does and then applies both gospel declarations and gospel obligations to every sin problem we encounter." (93) This is so different than much "Christian counseling" today.
"We will never be truly free from self-condemnation and the desire for approval until we grasp this fact. We were so sinful we had to die. Personal reformation won't help. We need death." (94).
This is a big area in which I struggle - need to always preach the gospel to myself every day: "If the message of the gospel does not inform every thought, word, and deed, our striving to put off and put on will disintegrate into another way to gain the approval of others, ourselves, and even the Lord." (108)
One area I struggle in is fear of man - ongoing but Christ is slowly changing it. "Because of His sinless life, we can stop worrying about our reputation or trying to make ourselves look good in the eyes of others. We are sinful and flawed but loved and welcomed. We have been counted righteous." (137)
This is something I desperately need to act upon: "He loves us because he chooses to love us, and the depth of our defection from him should produce in us great humility, gratitude, and patience with others' failures." (153)
The past 2 years (almost) I've been in churches that practice Communion every week. That has been some of the BEST of Louisville: "How frequently do we fail to remember him, even during the Lord's Supper, because we are so focused on our glory story that the story of the cross seems weak, passe, and hackneyed? All we are called to do is to remember, and we can't even do that." (174)
This is another book to read - maybe in light of Easter - that is soon approaching!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Personal Reflections on Crazy Love (Francis Chan)
I don't know if I can remember a book being as popular on a seminary campus (where folks already have to do a TON of reading) as Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Chan is a pastor in Simi Valley, CA. I've heard him speak live and he is just as engaging and hard-core in his preaching as he is in his writing.
Here is my question (as Francis is probably asking too): if so many people are reading this book (including myself, of course) and so many are saying "wow, that is such a great book; man, I love that book; ugh, that's a hard book to read, it is kicking my butt" - then how will the local church look different? If people are reading it and being convicted by it - shouldn't the church change in light of that conviction? Or are we (am I) doing to stop at conviction?
"In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him." (29) Mary Kassian brought this up in Girls Gone Wise: we have to be intentional about feeding ourselves on God-things, not just shutting ourselves out from the world.
Piper has a similar subject matter in Future Grace: "When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, I have a right to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities." (41) In about 8 days I'll be driving to NC to start a new job and really a new phase of life. This has been one of the easiest transitions (just like the last one) of my life. Why? Because I have total confidence in the God that brought about the circumstances that led to this coming change. He is faithful.
I wrote this on the header of page 73: What would this look like? It was in response to: "Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love Him with all their heart, soul, and strength."
I love pastors who use sarcasm. Its a grand use of the English language: "Some people claim that we can be Christians without necessarily becoming disciples. I wonder, then, why the last thing Jesus told us was to go into the world, making disciples of all nations, teaching them to obey all that He commanded? You'll notice that He didn't add, but hey, if that's too much to ask, tell them to just become Christians - you know, the people who get to go to heaven without having to commit to anything." (87)
"Leftovers are not merely inadequate; from God's point of view (and lest we forget, His is the only one who matters), they are evil. Let's stop calling it a busy schedule or bills or forgetfulness (me: or sleeping late or watching tv or reading other good books). It's called EVIL. (92)
"As we love more genuinely and deeply, giving becomes the obvious and natural response. Taking and keeping for ourselves becomes unattractive and imprudent." (120). This is one of my favorite quotes of all the book. This is what I want my life to be characterized by. Not so people can look at me and say, I want to be like her in my giving. No - but to mirror the grace of God in my life (dimly, I know).
I engaged in a conversation about this book with two friends today. We were talking about any problems that we might have with this book. This book calls for radical living, beyond many books that I have read. And I really like the last chapter. Francis doesn't say "your life must look like this for you to be obeying God's call to radical living". He says "is this the most loving way to do life?". That is what you need to ask yourself. Then however you answer that question will be a good indicator of the radical call on your life placed there by a majestic God.
Here is my question (as Francis is probably asking too): if so many people are reading this book (including myself, of course) and so many are saying "wow, that is such a great book; man, I love that book; ugh, that's a hard book to read, it is kicking my butt" - then how will the local church look different? If people are reading it and being convicted by it - shouldn't the church change in light of that conviction? Or are we (am I) doing to stop at conviction?
"In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him." (29) Mary Kassian brought this up in Girls Gone Wise: we have to be intentional about feeding ourselves on God-things, not just shutting ourselves out from the world.
Piper has a similar subject matter in Future Grace: "When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, I have a right to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities." (41) In about 8 days I'll be driving to NC to start a new job and really a new phase of life. This has been one of the easiest transitions (just like the last one) of my life. Why? Because I have total confidence in the God that brought about the circumstances that led to this coming change. He is faithful.
I wrote this on the header of page 73: What would this look like? It was in response to: "Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love Him with all their heart, soul, and strength."
I love pastors who use sarcasm. Its a grand use of the English language: "Some people claim that we can be Christians without necessarily becoming disciples. I wonder, then, why the last thing Jesus told us was to go into the world, making disciples of all nations, teaching them to obey all that He commanded? You'll notice that He didn't add, but hey, if that's too much to ask, tell them to just become Christians - you know, the people who get to go to heaven without having to commit to anything." (87)
"Leftovers are not merely inadequate; from God's point of view (and lest we forget, His is the only one who matters), they are evil. Let's stop calling it a busy schedule or bills or forgetfulness (me: or sleeping late or watching tv or reading other good books). It's called EVIL. (92)
"As we love more genuinely and deeply, giving becomes the obvious and natural response. Taking and keeping for ourselves becomes unattractive and imprudent." (120). This is one of my favorite quotes of all the book. This is what I want my life to be characterized by. Not so people can look at me and say, I want to be like her in my giving. No - but to mirror the grace of God in my life (dimly, I know).
I engaged in a conversation about this book with two friends today. We were talking about any problems that we might have with this book. This book calls for radical living, beyond many books that I have read. And I really like the last chapter. Francis doesn't say "your life must look like this for you to be obeying God's call to radical living". He says "is this the most loving way to do life?". That is what you need to ask yourself. Then however you answer that question will be a good indicator of the radical call on your life placed there by a majestic God.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Personal Reflection on Girls Gone Wise
This past week I've spent much of my time reading Mary Kassian's new book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild. As most of my close friends know, I'm not a huge reader of "women only" books because I find them to be only geared to certain women or I find them to be fluffy. I am not a fluffy girls' book reader.
This was not a fluffy book and it was geared toward all women - no matter the stage of life she is in! And, it was AMAZING (only better if it were shorter). I was convicted by this book many times. And it seemed as if I thought of one thing - she brought it up in the next paragraph. Very odd - but very cool as well.
Here are some personal thoughts on the Spirit's work in my life through this book. I will definitely be re-reading it - and will hopefully have a chance to lead some girls through it in the future.
1. I am not amenable, at least not in my heart. I like to control a situation, I like to know what is going on, and though I may be "glad" to go along with other plans on the outside, it is a heart struggle. God is working on this in my life. "An amenable woman gladly foregoes personal desires and preferences to honor that authority. (Contrast #4). I think I do that, planning around other's likes and dislikes and preferences, but I still want to be in control. I don't want to be like this: "A brazen, defiant attitude stands in stark contrast to the soft receptiveness that the Lord intended for women." (#4). Like I said, this may be done on the outside, but its the heart that matters.
2. I clearly see the effect of sin in this book on women's lives; it is a sad affair. "So many of us are living with the brokenness, dysfunction, pain, and confusion, that comes from having gone wild." The cure: the Gospel. (intro)
3. "The more a woman's heart is seized with affection for Jesus, the more her life will be transformed to walk in his ways." (#1) It has to start with the heart. I can definitely tell a difference in my life if I have spent way too much time watching TV/movies/internet and not any time reading the Word. My thoughts and contentrations and shortness of temper are definitely off the mark. I saw this marked in a girl's life just last night. You could tell in how she talked about her Jesus that she loved Him and the feelings were mutual! :)
4. "The second adjective describing the Proverbs 7 woman is translated wayward. The Hebrew word means to be stubborn and rebellious. It reflects a defiant, self-willed, obstinate, nobody tells me what to do frame of mind. (#4, Ez 20.38, Ps 78.8). God has already been working this in me. But, I also pick it up in girls more easily now than before. I work in the lounge of the women's dorm on campus here at SBTS. It has given me opportunity to get to know some of them. I can tell though in some of them that they are defiant and loud and not calm and gentle. This makes me sad. Honestly.
5. "Homeward faced, wisdom graced; out to the max, wisdom lacks." (#5) I loved this. I can clearly see that my focus needs to be on home. The past few weeks haven't been that for me in the midst of packing, hanging out with friends, etc - and I have missed that. I love my home (ok, my 800 square foot apt), but I love having folks over, tending to home, being satisfied with being in my quiet apt. This is where God has called women - whether a family, single, kids, etc. We see this in the commands for what older women are to teach younger women (Titus 2).
6. "She's happy when she has a new prospect on the horizon and the hunt is going well" (#6). Mary talks here of a woman's focus. I will admit that when there is a prospect of a cute godly guy in my path, I'm going to get dressed differently in the morning, wear makeup if I'm going out where I might see him, etc. There is an added spring to my step. But, why? Why don't I do this everyday because I'm loved by my Saviour?
7. Body Language - #8. I have seen this all too often in the girls' dorm too - mainly this has been my interaction with college girls the past 3 years. They are playful in tossing the hair, sitting on guys' laps, sitting on the arm of the chair he is sitting in, giggling profusely, sometimes dressing inappropriately. I want to film them, then have a movie night and play it along side the reading of this book. I have also been convicted of watching these same tendencies in my own life and interaction with every male that I come in contact with, work with, see in stores, etc.
8. Roles #9 - if you want a good quick chapter overview of the basics of CBMW Gender Roles - read this chapter. Nuf said!
9. Another one of the big hits for me: "Restraining words means that you don't have to have an opinion on everything. You don't have to comment on everything that happens. You don't have to answer every question. You don't have to constantly make your thoughts known. You don't have to be proved right. You don't have to show off your superior knowledge. You don't have to constantly offer advice." (#17). As most of you know I am quite opinionated. I feel this has also gotten less in the last few years. It is partly due to male leadership in my life the last few years and also the working of the Spirit. I noticed a few times this week even that I practiced this - and you know, it was ok that I didn't express my opinion but instead kept my mouth shut.
I started to get discouraged in my actions and heartitude by page 105. Then I read the next paragraph:
"Given my own strength and willpower, my ability to life a self-disciplined life is extremely limited. That's why I need to depend on my Helper. Success is a matter of depending on the Holy Spirit and not on my own capacity." (#5). Remember, living a life pleasing to God isn't done on your own merits - but on the merit of Christ. That's why we celebrate EASTER!
This was not a fluffy book and it was geared toward all women - no matter the stage of life she is in! And, it was AMAZING (only better if it were shorter). I was convicted by this book many times. And it seemed as if I thought of one thing - she brought it up in the next paragraph. Very odd - but very cool as well.
Here are some personal thoughts on the Spirit's work in my life through this book. I will definitely be re-reading it - and will hopefully have a chance to lead some girls through it in the future.
1. I am not amenable, at least not in my heart. I like to control a situation, I like to know what is going on, and though I may be "glad" to go along with other plans on the outside, it is a heart struggle. God is working on this in my life. "An amenable woman gladly foregoes personal desires and preferences to honor that authority. (Contrast #4). I think I do that, planning around other's likes and dislikes and preferences, but I still want to be in control. I don't want to be like this: "A brazen, defiant attitude stands in stark contrast to the soft receptiveness that the Lord intended for women." (#4). Like I said, this may be done on the outside, but its the heart that matters.
2. I clearly see the effect of sin in this book on women's lives; it is a sad affair. "So many of us are living with the brokenness, dysfunction, pain, and confusion, that comes from having gone wild." The cure: the Gospel. (intro)
3. "The more a woman's heart is seized with affection for Jesus, the more her life will be transformed to walk in his ways." (#1) It has to start with the heart. I can definitely tell a difference in my life if I have spent way too much time watching TV/movies/internet and not any time reading the Word. My thoughts and contentrations and shortness of temper are definitely off the mark. I saw this marked in a girl's life just last night. You could tell in how she talked about her Jesus that she loved Him and the feelings were mutual! :)
4. "The second adjective describing the Proverbs 7 woman is translated wayward. The Hebrew word means to be stubborn and rebellious. It reflects a defiant, self-willed, obstinate, nobody tells me what to do frame of mind. (#4, Ez 20.38, Ps 78.8). God has already been working this in me. But, I also pick it up in girls more easily now than before. I work in the lounge of the women's dorm on campus here at SBTS. It has given me opportunity to get to know some of them. I can tell though in some of them that they are defiant and loud and not calm and gentle. This makes me sad. Honestly.
5. "Homeward faced, wisdom graced; out to the max, wisdom lacks." (#5) I loved this. I can clearly see that my focus needs to be on home. The past few weeks haven't been that for me in the midst of packing, hanging out with friends, etc - and I have missed that. I love my home (ok, my 800 square foot apt), but I love having folks over, tending to home, being satisfied with being in my quiet apt. This is where God has called women - whether a family, single, kids, etc. We see this in the commands for what older women are to teach younger women (Titus 2).
6. "She's happy when she has a new prospect on the horizon and the hunt is going well" (#6). Mary talks here of a woman's focus. I will admit that when there is a prospect of a cute godly guy in my path, I'm going to get dressed differently in the morning, wear makeup if I'm going out where I might see him, etc. There is an added spring to my step. But, why? Why don't I do this everyday because I'm loved by my Saviour?
7. Body Language - #8. I have seen this all too often in the girls' dorm too - mainly this has been my interaction with college girls the past 3 years. They are playful in tossing the hair, sitting on guys' laps, sitting on the arm of the chair he is sitting in, giggling profusely, sometimes dressing inappropriately. I want to film them, then have a movie night and play it along side the reading of this book. I have also been convicted of watching these same tendencies in my own life and interaction with every male that I come in contact with, work with, see in stores, etc.
8. Roles #9 - if you want a good quick chapter overview of the basics of CBMW Gender Roles - read this chapter. Nuf said!
9. Another one of the big hits for me: "Restraining words means that you don't have to have an opinion on everything. You don't have to comment on everything that happens. You don't have to answer every question. You don't have to constantly make your thoughts known. You don't have to be proved right. You don't have to show off your superior knowledge. You don't have to constantly offer advice." (#17). As most of you know I am quite opinionated. I feel this has also gotten less in the last few years. It is partly due to male leadership in my life the last few years and also the working of the Spirit. I noticed a few times this week even that I practiced this - and you know, it was ok that I didn't express my opinion but instead kept my mouth shut.
I started to get discouraged in my actions and heartitude by page 105. Then I read the next paragraph:
"Given my own strength and willpower, my ability to life a self-disciplined life is extremely limited. That's why I need to depend on my Helper. Success is a matter of depending on the Holy Spirit and not on my own capacity." (#5). Remember, living a life pleasing to God isn't done on your own merits - but on the merit of Christ. That's why we celebrate EASTER!
Book Review: Girls Gone Wise (Mary Kassian)
One of the pleasures of working at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary has been to meet and interact with professors and authors. Mary Kassian is one of those. She has been a joy to get to know. She has provided such wisdom in my life both in conversation and through her writings.
Girls Gone Wise (in a World Gone Wild) is definitely no exception. I marked my copy profusely with notes to myself and underlined key quote that I've been sharing with women.
Kassian has no trouble hitting her target audience: women - of all ages. She wrote this book so that any woman: single, married, in college, 3 kids, high schooler, grandmother, would be able to pick it up and apply it to her life. One of the reasons this is accomplished is because Scripture applies to all of us: no matter what stage of life we are in.
Mrs. Kassian takes the sage advice from the writer of Proverbs and compares the two women he identifies in the book: the "Girls Gone Wild" and the "Girls Gone Wise". She creatively illustrates the devastating contrasts between the women in Proverbs, mostly in chapters 7 and 31. When looking at the two women side-by-side one notices the stark difference between the two. One following the ways of the world, foolish, and heading to a life of destruction. The other following the Spirit's leading, wise, and walking daily in the fear of God; her life gripped with the power of the Gospel.
The author brilliantly weaves cultural anecdotes, Scriptural characters and life lessons to make this a book you do not want to put down. Kassian knows the culture to which she is writing. Her years of ministry, teaching, and being a mom/wife have prepared her more than adequately to write this book.
Mary speaks to gender roles in one of the chapters (taken from Prov 7.13, 22 and 1 Peter 3.4-6). This is a great chapter for a well-done and qucik overview of issues concerning submission, male and female roles in relationships, created equal, and other key points. She speaks of the unique relationship that God started in the garden by the order of creation and the commands that God gave to each person. This is very helpful, especially if this is your first time encountering biblical foundations for gender roles.
The three parts you can find in each of the 20 Points of Contrast Mary highlights are: the dangers of following the ways of the world, dangers of ignoring the counsel of God, His Word, and the Spirit, and the promise of a life well-lived for the glory of God. In this compare/contrast style of writing, it is more clearly seen than if she had chosen to write it a different way. Each chapter you see the dangers and the folly and you are convicted by the Spirit to take account of your own life by the scales of comparison.
The only thing I would say that I would have liked better is if it were shorter. Especially if leading this with a group of women, 20 chapters is a long book. You would definitely need to split it between semesters (Fall/Spring) or do 2 chapters a week in the summer. This book would be amazing to go through in an accountability group of trusted women.
Mary: thank you for writing this wise counsel. I look forward to not only re-reading it, studying it more in depth as I've seen God point out areas in my own life that need working on by the Spirit; but also sharing it/leading it in small groups in the future.
Girls Gone Wise (in a World Gone Wild) is definitely no exception. I marked my copy profusely with notes to myself and underlined key quote that I've been sharing with women.
Kassian has no trouble hitting her target audience: women - of all ages. She wrote this book so that any woman: single, married, in college, 3 kids, high schooler, grandmother, would be able to pick it up and apply it to her life. One of the reasons this is accomplished is because Scripture applies to all of us: no matter what stage of life we are in.
Mrs. Kassian takes the sage advice from the writer of Proverbs and compares the two women he identifies in the book: the "Girls Gone Wild" and the "Girls Gone Wise". She creatively illustrates the devastating contrasts between the women in Proverbs, mostly in chapters 7 and 31. When looking at the two women side-by-side one notices the stark difference between the two. One following the ways of the world, foolish, and heading to a life of destruction. The other following the Spirit's leading, wise, and walking daily in the fear of God; her life gripped with the power of the Gospel.
The author brilliantly weaves cultural anecdotes, Scriptural characters and life lessons to make this a book you do not want to put down. Kassian knows the culture to which she is writing. Her years of ministry, teaching, and being a mom/wife have prepared her more than adequately to write this book.
Mary speaks to gender roles in one of the chapters (taken from Prov 7.13, 22 and 1 Peter 3.4-6). This is a great chapter for a well-done and qucik overview of issues concerning submission, male and female roles in relationships, created equal, and other key points. She speaks of the unique relationship that God started in the garden by the order of creation and the commands that God gave to each person. This is very helpful, especially if this is your first time encountering biblical foundations for gender roles.
The three parts you can find in each of the 20 Points of Contrast Mary highlights are: the dangers of following the ways of the world, dangers of ignoring the counsel of God, His Word, and the Spirit, and the promise of a life well-lived for the glory of God. In this compare/contrast style of writing, it is more clearly seen than if she had chosen to write it a different way. Each chapter you see the dangers and the folly and you are convicted by the Spirit to take account of your own life by the scales of comparison.
The only thing I would say that I would have liked better is if it were shorter. Especially if leading this with a group of women, 20 chapters is a long book. You would definitely need to split it between semesters (Fall/Spring) or do 2 chapters a week in the summer. This book would be amazing to go through in an accountability group of trusted women.
Mary: thank you for writing this wise counsel. I look forward to not only re-reading it, studying it more in depth as I've seen God point out areas in my own life that need working on by the Spirit; but also sharing it/leading it in small groups in the future.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
From the Pen of Rob Rienow: Parenting and the Church
More reading - and passing along the nuggets of truth to you.
I have just finished 3 books by the same author: Rob Rienow, founder (with his wife, Amy) of Visionary Parenting and Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL. I have spoken with Rob about ministry and then got to meet him and hear him teach a class at his church in January.
The three books that I have read are:
God's Grand Vision for the Home
Passing the Torch (just two chapters in a multi-author book)
Visionary Parenting (if I just got one, get this one)
Here are some valuable quotes from him and some personal thoughts:
"delegation parenting" - Love this term. It is what a lot of parents in the world today, even in the church, do to get someone else to teach, train, or discipline, or even just be friends with, their kids.
"What am I doing daily with this power and responsibility to impress the hearts of my kids with a love for God?"
"We need to set the example for our kids by putting ourselves under the authority of the Bible, allowing it to speak to our hearts, and letting our kids us talk about it." Honestly, I didn't grow up with this in the home. I went to a Christian school and church, but didn't have it spoken of much in the home. Not till I went to college and built a relationship with my mentor did this become a reality to me.
"Generation after generation have failed to win the souls of their children." I have spent the last month in the Old Testament. Many times, even in those genealogies many of us skip over, it speaks of the generations and if the sons followed after the fathers. Lineage, genealogy, and faith were very important to the Israelites.
"Christians (begin) to reflect the secular culture." When did we do this? Sad but true. We do it in parenting, in clothing, in books/movies. We are called out from the world, a chosen people, a royal priesthood. Back in seminary I had a square postcard on my closet door: The Church is not called to reflect the world, but to change it.
"At the heart of the advance of the Gospel is the call to parents to impress the hearts of their children with a love for God and for His Word." How does your own life reflect this love? Not only to your children, but also to your co-workers, your extended family, and people you meet in line at the grocery store?
"No one can compete with the power a parent has to shape the heart of a child. Your power to bless your children, to build character in their hearts, and to lead them to faith in Jesus Christ." See the first quote. The last two episodes of Criminal Minds - by far my favorite show on television - has been about the influence of fathers over their sons. Powerful stuff!
"God never calls us to do something and then abandons us when we seek to be obedient." This may be helpful to you in any situation you are facing right now. I've had to remind myself of this very thing as I get anxious about some changes coming in my life. God is so much more faithful to us than we could ever be to Him. He will not leave you!
"Our kids will remember who we are at home for more than what we accomplish in our work and activities outside our home."
"One of the subtle ways the enemy pulls parents away from their primary life mission of passing faith to their children is to get them over-involved at church." Wow. This was a power statement for me.
If you are a parent, work with parents, want to be a parent, know any parents (yes, I think that could just about include everyone who reads this blog), pick up these books. I think Visionary Parenting is a good overview and very convicting. These books have great theology, are packed with personal experience, advice, and practical tips, and are loaded with Scripture.
I have just finished 3 books by the same author: Rob Rienow, founder (with his wife, Amy) of Visionary Parenting and Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL. I have spoken with Rob about ministry and then got to meet him and hear him teach a class at his church in January.
The three books that I have read are:
God's Grand Vision for the Home
Passing the Torch (just two chapters in a multi-author book)
Visionary Parenting (if I just got one, get this one)
Here are some valuable quotes from him and some personal thoughts:
"delegation parenting" - Love this term. It is what a lot of parents in the world today, even in the church, do to get someone else to teach, train, or discipline, or even just be friends with, their kids.
"What am I doing daily with this power and responsibility to impress the hearts of my kids with a love for God?"
"We need to set the example for our kids by putting ourselves under the authority of the Bible, allowing it to speak to our hearts, and letting our kids us talk about it." Honestly, I didn't grow up with this in the home. I went to a Christian school and church, but didn't have it spoken of much in the home. Not till I went to college and built a relationship with my mentor did this become a reality to me.
"Generation after generation have failed to win the souls of their children." I have spent the last month in the Old Testament. Many times, even in those genealogies many of us skip over, it speaks of the generations and if the sons followed after the fathers. Lineage, genealogy, and faith were very important to the Israelites.
"Christians (begin) to reflect the secular culture." When did we do this? Sad but true. We do it in parenting, in clothing, in books/movies. We are called out from the world, a chosen people, a royal priesthood. Back in seminary I had a square postcard on my closet door: The Church is not called to reflect the world, but to change it.
"At the heart of the advance of the Gospel is the call to parents to impress the hearts of their children with a love for God and for His Word." How does your own life reflect this love? Not only to your children, but also to your co-workers, your extended family, and people you meet in line at the grocery store?
"No one can compete with the power a parent has to shape the heart of a child. Your power to bless your children, to build character in their hearts, and to lead them to faith in Jesus Christ." See the first quote. The last two episodes of Criminal Minds - by far my favorite show on television - has been about the influence of fathers over their sons. Powerful stuff!
"God never calls us to do something and then abandons us when we seek to be obedient." This may be helpful to you in any situation you are facing right now. I've had to remind myself of this very thing as I get anxious about some changes coming in my life. God is so much more faithful to us than we could ever be to Him. He will not leave you!
"Our kids will remember who we are at home for more than what we accomplish in our work and activities outside our home."
"One of the subtle ways the enemy pulls parents away from their primary life mission of passing faith to their children is to get them over-involved at church." Wow. This was a power statement for me.
If you are a parent, work with parents, want to be a parent, know any parents (yes, I think that could just about include everyone who reads this blog), pick up these books. I think Visionary Parenting is a good overview and very convicting. These books have great theology, are packed with personal experience, advice, and practical tips, and are loaded with Scripture.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Book Review: Perspectives on Family Ministry
I went to First Baptist Church, Plant City, FL for most of my high school years. Tommy Warnock had such an amazing impact on my life in areas of discipleship, leadership, and missions. His faithfulness in ministry and love for others was contagious. I'm so glad God put me there; much of the future of my life was rooted in that one decision to go to that church.
Time span: 1995 (graduation) to 2010 (now). I have grown in knowledge of the Word and the turns and styles of ministry. Being in many churches since high school graduation and attending seminary, and now working at a seminary has definitely had an impact on how I think about and am active in ministry.
This book highlights one of the latest "styles" in how to do children and youth ministry. 5-10 years ago no one would have had a conversation about family-integrated, family-based, or family-equipping ministry models. I read Mark Devries' book Family-Based Youth Ministry in college as I minored in youth ministry, and applied it to the youth ministry in which I was working. I quickly forgot what I read and couldn't tell you one underlined statement from that book - but I remember its implications.
The youth ministry staff I was on was a thriving youth ministry, boasted the largest youth ministry in St. Augustine. I loved teaching the Word every week to 70+ middle schoolers, playing games, going on ski-trips, having 5 middle-school girls sledding down my stairs on a mattress - those were the times. I love those girls I had in their youth group years. I love the parents who participated in the youth group, went on the same trips, loved teenagers, taught Sunday School, cooked brownies. They were so cool. But I also remember the parents who whipped through the parking lot of the church (dodging the kids shooting baskets or skateboarding) to drop their kids off for youth group by 6.10pm. I pray I had an impact on the lives of those girls. My first discipleship opportunity with a young lady was amazing and life-changing for both of us as we enjoyed dinner with her family every week one summer and then studied a Max Lucado book together upstairs. I loved that time. She is thriving in life and ministry right now. But, I guarantee that has more to do with the fact that she has parents who model a life of following Christ every day than that one summer I had with her, Wed night youth group meetings, ski trips, and Sunday School classes.
Anyway...this discussion of style of ministry is fairly new. When I started working at Southern Seminary in Fall 2007, the first I ever heard of this was because Steve Wright wrote a book entitled RE:Think. Timothy Jones and Randy Stinson continued the conversation and were teaching principles based on the Word, and dubbed "Family-equipping model". This is the culture I have been immersed in over the last 2.5 years. This has provided me much to think about and wrestle with. This is what I have come up with.
God created the family - Gen 2
God gave the mandate to the parents for discipling their children - Dt 6
God gave the ministry of equipping the saints to the pastors - Eph 4
The call of disciples of Christ is to evangelize the world - Matt 28.
This book, edited by Dr. Timothy Jones, with authors Paul Renfro, Brandon Shields, and Jay Strother, is a good introduction to these three models (mentioned at the beginning of this) and gives the reader much food for thought. This book would be extremely helpful to people training for ministry, or for church staffers looking at making a change to existing ministries.
Personally, I thought Renfro's was the strongest argument, Jay Strother's was the most practical, and Shield's was the weakest. That doesn't mean anything - that may just be the style of writing. I liked the humble dialogue between the authors as they brought out points that most readers may not have thought of while they worked through the styles of ministry.
Here are some quotes from the book:
"Church programs have usurped a responsibility that Scripture and church history place first and foremost at the feet of parents." - Jones, 21
"Family ministry is not another church program that a pastor can add to the present array of programs." - Jones, 41
Jones definitely accomplishes his task with this book: "My goal is not to convince readers that one of these models is better than the others. I do want to equip them with the knowledge needed to discern which model might work best in their congregation." - 45
"Who is better able to discern the condition of their children's hearts and to know if true repentance has occurred than those who live with them every day? The home is the best context for discipleship." - Renfro, 63
"Could it be that family-integrated churches so heavily emphasize traditional family structures that they subtly give non-traditional families the impression they are second-class citizens?" - Strother, 86
"When attempting to reach another culture, there is a fine line between relevance and accommodation." - Shields, 110
"So many American families are merely a shell of what God created them to be. In such families each family member has personal agendas and schedules; homes are merely pit stops for the washing of clothes, the provision of food, and a few hours of sleep." - Renfro, 121
"In the typical church it will require significant changes not only in the message communicated to parents but also in the church's internal paradigms to send a loud and clear message that parents have the primary responsibility for their children's discipleship." - Strother, 129
"We must go where they are, preach to them in their language, compel them to come to Jesus, and consistently create attractive environments where persons from any background can grow in their relationship with Jesus." - Shields, 137
Why must we create attractive environments? That is my area of disagreement with the above statement.
"Family-equipping ministry must represent the congregation's convictions about the entire nature of church and ministry." - Strother, 161.
This is not merely a youth ministry question - this is an entire church life question.
My thoughts: I am not a parent. I have been in youth ministry/college ministry/kids ministry now for 15 years. This has given me much view of typical American families. I see failures and successes. Not every teenager that comes out of a intact, Bible-believe home is a radical Christ follower. Not every teen that comes out of a divorced, broken home is a loser who wants nothing to do with Christ. This isn't a 100% no-fail solution. God is still in charge of radically changing the lives of sinners like me. He called parents though, Christian parents, to disciple their children in the ways of God. The church is called to equip and evangelize. Evangelize the lost, and disciple them to do what they are called to do. One of the things they are called to do, if parents, is to disciple their own children.
Much more is to be discussed on this topic: broken families, single parents, single adults, etc. But...this isn't my dissertation on the topic of family ministry. This is my response from reading Jones' book on it.
I am thankful for all 4 authors as three of them have had a personal impact on my life and ministry and all 4, through this book, have made me think.
Time span: 1995 (graduation) to 2010 (now). I have grown in knowledge of the Word and the turns and styles of ministry. Being in many churches since high school graduation and attending seminary, and now working at a seminary has definitely had an impact on how I think about and am active in ministry.
This book highlights one of the latest "styles" in how to do children and youth ministry. 5-10 years ago no one would have had a conversation about family-integrated, family-based, or family-equipping ministry models. I read Mark Devries' book Family-Based Youth Ministry in college as I minored in youth ministry, and applied it to the youth ministry in which I was working. I quickly forgot what I read and couldn't tell you one underlined statement from that book - but I remember its implications.
The youth ministry staff I was on was a thriving youth ministry, boasted the largest youth ministry in St. Augustine. I loved teaching the Word every week to 70+ middle schoolers, playing games, going on ski-trips, having 5 middle-school girls sledding down my stairs on a mattress - those were the times. I love those girls I had in their youth group years. I love the parents who participated in the youth group, went on the same trips, loved teenagers, taught Sunday School, cooked brownies. They were so cool. But I also remember the parents who whipped through the parking lot of the church (dodging the kids shooting baskets or skateboarding) to drop their kids off for youth group by 6.10pm. I pray I had an impact on the lives of those girls. My first discipleship opportunity with a young lady was amazing and life-changing for both of us as we enjoyed dinner with her family every week one summer and then studied a Max Lucado book together upstairs. I loved that time. She is thriving in life and ministry right now. But, I guarantee that has more to do with the fact that she has parents who model a life of following Christ every day than that one summer I had with her, Wed night youth group meetings, ski trips, and Sunday School classes.
Anyway...this discussion of style of ministry is fairly new. When I started working at Southern Seminary in Fall 2007, the first I ever heard of this was because Steve Wright wrote a book entitled RE:Think. Timothy Jones and Randy Stinson continued the conversation and were teaching principles based on the Word, and dubbed "Family-equipping model". This is the culture I have been immersed in over the last 2.5 years. This has provided me much to think about and wrestle with. This is what I have come up with.
God created the family - Gen 2
God gave the mandate to the parents for discipling their children - Dt 6
God gave the ministry of equipping the saints to the pastors - Eph 4
The call of disciples of Christ is to evangelize the world - Matt 28.
This book, edited by Dr. Timothy Jones, with authors Paul Renfro, Brandon Shields, and Jay Strother, is a good introduction to these three models (mentioned at the beginning of this) and gives the reader much food for thought. This book would be extremely helpful to people training for ministry, or for church staffers looking at making a change to existing ministries.
Personally, I thought Renfro's was the strongest argument, Jay Strother's was the most practical, and Shield's was the weakest. That doesn't mean anything - that may just be the style of writing. I liked the humble dialogue between the authors as they brought out points that most readers may not have thought of while they worked through the styles of ministry.
Here are some quotes from the book:
"Church programs have usurped a responsibility that Scripture and church history place first and foremost at the feet of parents." - Jones, 21
"Family ministry is not another church program that a pastor can add to the present array of programs." - Jones, 41
Jones definitely accomplishes his task with this book: "My goal is not to convince readers that one of these models is better than the others. I do want to equip them with the knowledge needed to discern which model might work best in their congregation." - 45
"Who is better able to discern the condition of their children's hearts and to know if true repentance has occurred than those who live with them every day? The home is the best context for discipleship." - Renfro, 63
"Could it be that family-integrated churches so heavily emphasize traditional family structures that they subtly give non-traditional families the impression they are second-class citizens?" - Strother, 86
"When attempting to reach another culture, there is a fine line between relevance and accommodation." - Shields, 110
"So many American families are merely a shell of what God created them to be. In such families each family member has personal agendas and schedules; homes are merely pit stops for the washing of clothes, the provision of food, and a few hours of sleep." - Renfro, 121
"In the typical church it will require significant changes not only in the message communicated to parents but also in the church's internal paradigms to send a loud and clear message that parents have the primary responsibility for their children's discipleship." - Strother, 129
"We must go where they are, preach to them in their language, compel them to come to Jesus, and consistently create attractive environments where persons from any background can grow in their relationship with Jesus." - Shields, 137
Why must we create attractive environments? That is my area of disagreement with the above statement.
"Family-equipping ministry must represent the congregation's convictions about the entire nature of church and ministry." - Strother, 161.
This is not merely a youth ministry question - this is an entire church life question.
My thoughts: I am not a parent. I have been in youth ministry/college ministry/kids ministry now for 15 years. This has given me much view of typical American families. I see failures and successes. Not every teenager that comes out of a intact, Bible-believe home is a radical Christ follower. Not every teen that comes out of a divorced, broken home is a loser who wants nothing to do with Christ. This isn't a 100% no-fail solution. God is still in charge of radically changing the lives of sinners like me. He called parents though, Christian parents, to disciple their children in the ways of God. The church is called to equip and evangelize. Evangelize the lost, and disciple them to do what they are called to do. One of the things they are called to do, if parents, is to disciple their own children.
Much more is to be discussed on this topic: broken families, single parents, single adults, etc. But...this isn't my dissertation on the topic of family ministry. This is my response from reading Jones' book on it.
I am thankful for all 4 authors as three of them have had a personal impact on my life and ministry and all 4, through this book, have made me think.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Book Review: Shepherding a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
I've learned two things (and more) from being in seminary and now having worked/working at 2 seminaries:
1. You can have a lot of practical expertise and not know any theology.
2. You can know TONS of theology and not be able to put it into practice well.
Tedd Tripp has authored a book that is good at both. He gives you the theology behind good parenting; and he gives you very practical follow-through so apply this theology.
What I love about this book: (the above paragraph), I love his humility (he and his wife do not have it all together), and his accomplishment of the task at hand - instructing parents how to not only target their children's actions, but how to reach their hearts - to shepherd their hearts.
"Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior." (p 6)Tripp spends the first half of the book laying the foundation to parenting, shepherding, Scripture, etc. "You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts." (p xxi) Then the second half, he gives very practical advice for different stages of child-rearing: toddlers, children, teenagers. I found these extremely helpful - even as I think back about my youth ministry days and think ahead as I volunteer in the church and even babysit. These are great truths and principles to be adopted.
I went to a Christian school from K-12th grade, only missing one semester. I remember a conversation my mom had when we were talking about one of the trouble makers in my grade. She said something to the effect that her parents probably sent her to this school in hopes that they would "straighten her out". Tripp makes a similar comment in the opening of this book: "They had hoped that school would provide the direction and motivation they had not been able to provide for their daughter." (p xvii) The school nor the church have been given the role of chief discipler/parent in your child's life. You have been given that role (see Deut 6).
"You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed." (p 22) I saw this lived out in my mentor's home. Scripture was every where. Itunes was on to the latest Christian praise and worship. But that wasn't all - conversations were lined with biblical thought, ministry was front and center, relationships were key. All pointing to Scripture. Another one of my friends, Kathy, has as her ministry Scripture Pictures, because she wants to get the Word into as many homes as possible. She does beautiful hand drawn Scripture in art. Amazing woman!
My former professor, Dr. Alvin Reid, at SEBTS, says this: "It is vital that we incorporate the gospel into every fabric of our lives. Our interaction with our neighbors should bring glory to God and communicate Christ to those who need him."
"Parenting is a pervasive task." (p 33) Recently, I heard a radio interview with Sandra Bullock, star of The Blind Side. She said, "Being a mother is easy, all you have to do is love". While there may be some truth in that, there are far deeper implications for parenting than just love. I don't think I have ever heard a parent say that parenting is easy.
Some would say the best way to raise a child is to shelter them from society. Tripp says this: "You must equip your children to function in a culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. Your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children." (p 45, 6)
"You must bring integrity to your interaction with your children. You model the dynamics of the Christian life for your children. You must let them see sonship with the Father in you. You should show them repentance. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find comfort in God. Live a shared life of repentance and thankfulness. Acknowledge your own sin and weakness. Admit when you are wrong. Be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your children. The right to make searching and honest appraisal of your children lies in willingness to do the same for yourself." (p 91)
"You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience a the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your child rearing. God's standard is correct behavior flowing from a heart that loves God and has God's glory as the sole purpose of life. That is not native to your children (nor to their parents)." (p. 120)
"Whatever you do will require patience. It is hard for a family to change its direction. What is ahead of you is a matter of spiritual struggle against the forces of evil. There is more to it than applying some principles. Pray; seek God's help. Wait on God. Study the Scriptures with your children. Try to take them along with you on your spiritual pilgrimage. Share with them what you're learning and why changes in your family life are important." (p 158)
"If you never address the character, you will never get beyond bare obedience." (p 163)
"The primary context for parental instruction is set forth in Deuteronomy 6. It is the ordinary context of daily living. Your children see the power of a life of faith as they see you living it. You do not need to be perfect, you simply need to be people of integrity who are living life in the rich, robust truth of the Word of God." (p 192)
With every book there are drawbacks:
1. All the illustrations. They are great, but for some they will try to live out these truths and principles in the exact same way - or they won't be able to live these out at all because they won't get past the illustration. Way to succeed: ask God how you need to apply these truths to your family, don't rely on the family of the Tripps to be successful.
2. "God intends for parenting to be a temporary task." (p 210) I disagree with this statement. Yes, you might not discipline them the same or help them make every decision, but my parents are still my parents. They help me in many ways: to make wise decisions, to give me advice, to help financially some, to be friends with; but they are still my parents.
This book is very helpful. If you haven't read it, please do.
1. You can have a lot of practical expertise and not know any theology.
2. You can know TONS of theology and not be able to put it into practice well.
Tedd Tripp has authored a book that is good at both. He gives you the theology behind good parenting; and he gives you very practical follow-through so apply this theology.
What I love about this book: (the above paragraph), I love his humility (he and his wife do not have it all together), and his accomplishment of the task at hand - instructing parents how to not only target their children's actions, but how to reach their hearts - to shepherd their hearts.
"Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior." (p 6)Tripp spends the first half of the book laying the foundation to parenting, shepherding, Scripture, etc. "You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts." (p xxi) Then the second half, he gives very practical advice for different stages of child-rearing: toddlers, children, teenagers. I found these extremely helpful - even as I think back about my youth ministry days and think ahead as I volunteer in the church and even babysit. These are great truths and principles to be adopted.
I went to a Christian school from K-12th grade, only missing one semester. I remember a conversation my mom had when we were talking about one of the trouble makers in my grade. She said something to the effect that her parents probably sent her to this school in hopes that they would "straighten her out". Tripp makes a similar comment in the opening of this book: "They had hoped that school would provide the direction and motivation they had not been able to provide for their daughter." (p xvii) The school nor the church have been given the role of chief discipler/parent in your child's life. You have been given that role (see Deut 6).
"You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed." (p 22) I saw this lived out in my mentor's home. Scripture was every where. Itunes was on to the latest Christian praise and worship. But that wasn't all - conversations were lined with biblical thought, ministry was front and center, relationships were key. All pointing to Scripture. Another one of my friends, Kathy, has as her ministry Scripture Pictures, because she wants to get the Word into as many homes as possible. She does beautiful hand drawn Scripture in art. Amazing woman!
My former professor, Dr. Alvin Reid, at SEBTS, says this: "It is vital that we incorporate the gospel into every fabric of our lives. Our interaction with our neighbors should bring glory to God and communicate Christ to those who need him."
"Parenting is a pervasive task." (p 33) Recently, I heard a radio interview with Sandra Bullock, star of The Blind Side. She said, "Being a mother is easy, all you have to do is love". While there may be some truth in that, there are far deeper implications for parenting than just love. I don't think I have ever heard a parent say that parenting is easy.
Some would say the best way to raise a child is to shelter them from society. Tripp says this: "You must equip your children to function in a culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. Your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children." (p 45, 6)
"You must bring integrity to your interaction with your children. You model the dynamics of the Christian life for your children. You must let them see sonship with the Father in you. You should show them repentance. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find comfort in God. Live a shared life of repentance and thankfulness. Acknowledge your own sin and weakness. Admit when you are wrong. Be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your children. The right to make searching and honest appraisal of your children lies in willingness to do the same for yourself." (p 91)
"You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience a the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your child rearing. God's standard is correct behavior flowing from a heart that loves God and has God's glory as the sole purpose of life. That is not native to your children (nor to their parents)." (p. 120)
"Whatever you do will require patience. It is hard for a family to change its direction. What is ahead of you is a matter of spiritual struggle against the forces of evil. There is more to it than applying some principles. Pray; seek God's help. Wait on God. Study the Scriptures with your children. Try to take them along with you on your spiritual pilgrimage. Share with them what you're learning and why changes in your family life are important." (p 158)
"If you never address the character, you will never get beyond bare obedience." (p 163)
"The primary context for parental instruction is set forth in Deuteronomy 6. It is the ordinary context of daily living. Your children see the power of a life of faith as they see you living it. You do not need to be perfect, you simply need to be people of integrity who are living life in the rich, robust truth of the Word of God." (p 192)
With every book there are drawbacks:
1. All the illustrations. They are great, but for some they will try to live out these truths and principles in the exact same way - or they won't be able to live these out at all because they won't get past the illustration. Way to succeed: ask God how you need to apply these truths to your family, don't rely on the family of the Tripps to be successful.
2. "God intends for parenting to be a temporary task." (p 210) I disagree with this statement. Yes, you might not discipline them the same or help them make every decision, but my parents are still my parents. They help me in many ways: to make wise decisions, to give me advice, to help financially some, to be friends with; but they are still my parents.
This book is very helpful. If you haven't read it, please do.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
ApParent Privilege - Steve Wright
Whenever do I cry during a flight? When I am reading a book by Steve Wright - ok, this book by Steve Wright.
Over the last 2 1/2 years I've gotten to know Steve and his wife, Tina, who minister at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. He came and taught one of my youth ministry classes during my time at Seminary, but I'd never gotten to know him and his family and ministry.
This book is good on its own. My boss has it on his reading list for his class at Southern. Another one of our profs uses it as well.
But, this book gets better when you know the person who wrote it. When you know they live out the joys, sorrows, prayers, worship, ministry, heart of this book. That is what makes it so good. So, yes...I cried, laughed (aloud on a flight), prayed, longed for, remembered times that I didn't have growing up. So, must read? Yes. Right up there with Instructing a Child's Heart.
Here are some of my fave quotes - hopefully I'll get the opportunity to use them one day. (I think this book actually made me want to be a parent...)
"You have an apparent privilege, the most exciting of you life, right in front of you - to be a touch of grace on your children's souls." (17)
"If the cross of Christ is the center of history, then it must also be the center of our lives as well as the center of our communication with our children." (29)
"We must continually show our children what it means to be a biblical woman and a biblical man." (40)
'God gave parents the primary discipleship role." (54) - Did I mention this guy is a youth minister at a church? He is not thinking he is going to lose his job with this statement.
"We must take hold of the privilege to share a theology of family with our children. They need to hear from us first because they are already hearing from so many others." (59)
"Biblical parenting is more than keeping our kids from having sex, using drugs, or going to jail. It is fostering an awe of God in our children." (62)
"Yes, we are recipients of the limitless blessings of marriage, but marriage isn't primarily about us. Christian marriages point to God and therefore must be protected and valued." (66)
"We must understand a healthy marriage is the foundation of healthy parenting that enables God's glory to be seen by our children and others." (68)
"Your parenting affects more than your child's here and now. It affects generations to come and their eternity." (94) My boss spoke on this topic at Wright's conference, ReThink 2009. I remember him saying that we don't parent and do ministry just for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, and their children. Think future. Think eternity.
This next statement came just for me: it was very clear that this paragraph was written just for me: "The responsibility to teach our children the incredible truths of God may seem overwhelming, but the Bride of Christ is there to help. She will teach you how to teach. She will train you how to train. You cannot do it alone." (109) This was one of the cry points in this book for me.
Steve does a great job of pulling together many statistics from youth ministry, Scriptural support for all of his points. He does the research for you (as well as in his other book, ReThink).
So, here is a good ending point. Go buy this book. If you are a parent, go get it. If you know someone having a baby - get it for them. Buy the youth pastor at your church this book. Tell him to read it. Just read it. Then live it and practice it. By God's grace and for His glory. For eternity.
Over the last 2 1/2 years I've gotten to know Steve and his wife, Tina, who minister at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. He came and taught one of my youth ministry classes during my time at Seminary, but I'd never gotten to know him and his family and ministry.
This book is good on its own. My boss has it on his reading list for his class at Southern. Another one of our profs uses it as well.
But, this book gets better when you know the person who wrote it. When you know they live out the joys, sorrows, prayers, worship, ministry, heart of this book. That is what makes it so good. So, yes...I cried, laughed (aloud on a flight), prayed, longed for, remembered times that I didn't have growing up. So, must read? Yes. Right up there with Instructing a Child's Heart.
Here are some of my fave quotes - hopefully I'll get the opportunity to use them one day. (I think this book actually made me want to be a parent...)
"You have an apparent privilege, the most exciting of you life, right in front of you - to be a touch of grace on your children's souls." (17)
"If the cross of Christ is the center of history, then it must also be the center of our lives as well as the center of our communication with our children." (29)
"We must continually show our children what it means to be a biblical woman and a biblical man." (40)
'God gave parents the primary discipleship role." (54) - Did I mention this guy is a youth minister at a church? He is not thinking he is going to lose his job with this statement.
"We must take hold of the privilege to share a theology of family with our children. They need to hear from us first because they are already hearing from so many others." (59)
"Biblical parenting is more than keeping our kids from having sex, using drugs, or going to jail. It is fostering an awe of God in our children." (62)
"Yes, we are recipients of the limitless blessings of marriage, but marriage isn't primarily about us. Christian marriages point to God and therefore must be protected and valued." (66)
"We must understand a healthy marriage is the foundation of healthy parenting that enables God's glory to be seen by our children and others." (68)
"Your parenting affects more than your child's here and now. It affects generations to come and their eternity." (94) My boss spoke on this topic at Wright's conference, ReThink 2009. I remember him saying that we don't parent and do ministry just for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, and their children. Think future. Think eternity.
This next statement came just for me: it was very clear that this paragraph was written just for me: "The responsibility to teach our children the incredible truths of God may seem overwhelming, but the Bride of Christ is there to help. She will teach you how to teach. She will train you how to train. You cannot do it alone." (109) This was one of the cry points in this book for me.
Steve does a great job of pulling together many statistics from youth ministry, Scriptural support for all of his points. He does the research for you (as well as in his other book, ReThink).
So, here is a good ending point. Go buy this book. If you are a parent, go get it. If you know someone having a baby - get it for them. Buy the youth pastor at your church this book. Tell him to read it. Just read it. Then live it and practice it. By God's grace and for His glory. For eternity.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Gospel-Powered Parenting - William Farley
This book came across my Google Reader, and I immediately passed it along to my boss, one of my profs I work for, and a youth pastor. This was right up their alley. I was asked to order 10 copies within the week.
I finally was able to sit down and finish this book. An easy read, not too hard, not too long (225). Though not stated, this book, I would have to say, is written to men. If you keep that in mind, this book will pose little problem to you. If you are a woman (mother, wife) you may feel a little slighted. Farley does a great job addressing the need for Fathers to step up and be fathers - but sometimes at the neglect or dismissal of the mothers. (That is just how I felt reading some of his words, others may not feel that way at all).
Anyway, again, since I'm not a parent, I won't make much comment, but hopefully you can learn and maybe even pick this book up to read yourselves, or give to parents you know.
"We are absolutely dependent on God's Spirit to complete the parenting process." (19)
"We (parents) are responsible to reach our children for Christ." (21) This as opposed to what many parents would say: the school or the church is responsible.
"Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world." (23)
"Most Christian parents assume that church attendance or youth group involvement equates to new birth." (28)
"Effective Christian parents aim at their children's hearts rather than their behavior." (43)
"We parent out of our theology. Everyone, Christian and non-Christian, has a theology - an idea of who God is and who we are by contrast. Some are accurate. Some are not." (71). This can go for everything - its called a worldview.
"Marriage-centered, not child-centered moms, usually exert the greatest influence on their children for Christ and his kingdom." (113)
"Those who meditate on the message of the cross strive for holiness. Their efforts only make them more aware of their failings. This causes them to run to the cross for forgiveness more frequently. It causes them to need the cross more desparately. All of this happens because they feel the weight of their sins more biblically. It culminates in the peace of biblical humility." (121)
"We should encourage women to promote biblical masculinity." (135)
"A woman can also encourage masculinity by respecting her husband, especially in front of her children." (140). I see this often on facebook. Now, true, most children are not on fb because of the age limitations, but what is said on fb is often said in person or on the phone talking to a girlfriend, etc. Wives will cut down, or belittle their husbands, or speak of his incompetence, etc. Children pick up on this. This causes them to lose respect for one or both of the parents. It is difficult to regain.
"The gospel should be at the heart of all attempts to discipline children. It motivates our discipline and it becomes the end of effective Christian discipline." (147) - Probably my favorite quote of the book.
"We have not learned to be thankful for our children, despite their problems. We think we deserve better. We are ungrateful. A lack of gratitude always points to pride. We deserve crucifixion. We don't deserve obedient, easy children." (213) - Second favorite quote of the book.
"What wonderful news! God uses the imperfect efforts of gospel-centered parents to do his deep and abiding work in our children. In the meantime, the gospel frees us from the burden of perfection." (219). Ends it with the gospel - which is where he stays most of the time.
Now - how to teach this, promote this, equip parents in this, live this out - without being a parent. That is the task.
I finally was able to sit down and finish this book. An easy read, not too hard, not too long (225). Though not stated, this book, I would have to say, is written to men. If you keep that in mind, this book will pose little problem to you. If you are a woman (mother, wife) you may feel a little slighted. Farley does a great job addressing the need for Fathers to step up and be fathers - but sometimes at the neglect or dismissal of the mothers. (That is just how I felt reading some of his words, others may not feel that way at all).
Anyway, again, since I'm not a parent, I won't make much comment, but hopefully you can learn and maybe even pick this book up to read yourselves, or give to parents you know.
"We are absolutely dependent on God's Spirit to complete the parenting process." (19)
"We (parents) are responsible to reach our children for Christ." (21) This as opposed to what many parents would say: the school or the church is responsible.
"Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world." (23)
"Most Christian parents assume that church attendance or youth group involvement equates to new birth." (28)
"Effective Christian parents aim at their children's hearts rather than their behavior." (43)
"We parent out of our theology. Everyone, Christian and non-Christian, has a theology - an idea of who God is and who we are by contrast. Some are accurate. Some are not." (71). This can go for everything - its called a worldview.
"Marriage-centered, not child-centered moms, usually exert the greatest influence on their children for Christ and his kingdom." (113)
"Those who meditate on the message of the cross strive for holiness. Their efforts only make them more aware of their failings. This causes them to run to the cross for forgiveness more frequently. It causes them to need the cross more desparately. All of this happens because they feel the weight of their sins more biblically. It culminates in the peace of biblical humility." (121)
"We should encourage women to promote biblical masculinity." (135)
"A woman can also encourage masculinity by respecting her husband, especially in front of her children." (140). I see this often on facebook. Now, true, most children are not on fb because of the age limitations, but what is said on fb is often said in person or on the phone talking to a girlfriend, etc. Wives will cut down, or belittle their husbands, or speak of his incompetence, etc. Children pick up on this. This causes them to lose respect for one or both of the parents. It is difficult to regain.
"The gospel should be at the heart of all attempts to discipline children. It motivates our discipline and it becomes the end of effective Christian discipline." (147) - Probably my favorite quote of the book.
"We have not learned to be thankful for our children, despite their problems. We think we deserve better. We are ungrateful. A lack of gratitude always points to pride. We deserve crucifixion. We don't deserve obedient, easy children." (213) - Second favorite quote of the book.
"What wonderful news! God uses the imperfect efforts of gospel-centered parents to do his deep and abiding work in our children. In the meantime, the gospel frees us from the burden of perfection." (219). Ends it with the gospel - which is where he stays most of the time.
Now - how to teach this, promote this, equip parents in this, live this out - without being a parent. That is the task.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Instructing a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
The next three months I'll be doing a lot of reading, and I'm glad. 2010 holds a new structure in my reading (but more on that on Jan 1). I cranked this book out in 5 days - mostly last night while working a desk job for 8 hours (after my normal job). I used a lot of red ink in this book: Instructing a Child's Heart. It was good from the get-go. Tedd and Margy Tripp - (brother to Paul David Tripp who is one of my fave author's) wrote a parenting book. Now you may be asking yourself why I'm reading a parenting book - no, I'm not a parent. But, as a gave a shout out on FB - this book is crucial for anyone who knows kids, works with kids, is a parent, wants to be a parent (and by kid I'm meaning B-12th grade).
Here are some of the quotes that I really enjoyed. And, I just want to give you some thoughts to think about - I'm not putting much of my 2 cents worth here. Definitely go get the book - you'll be glad you did!
"In the absence of biblical formative instruction, secular formative instructors take over." (15)
"Formative instruction must be rooted in Scripture." (19)
"The most effective way to teach our children to love the Scripture is to love it ourselves. They will see us longing to read it, hear it, and understand it, and learn that it is valuable." (21)
"We must show our children the vital connection between the powerful story of redemption in the Scriptures and their daily experience." (27) This is why I'm glad I go to Sojourn here in Louisville. I love how the pastors bring every sermon back to the gospel. It has given me a framework to see all of Scripture in light of Jesus and his finished work on the Cross.
"The primary place for children to receive formative instruction is in the home. ______ cannot replace the family. The home is the place where we present a culture that is distinctively Christian." (35)
"Our hope is that the gospel will be the power of God to salvation in their lives as it has been in ours." (43) - See Romans 1.16
"We devote a great deal of time to the outer man, but God is concerned with the heart. Our children will never interpret life correctly until they understand that it is the heart that directs all of life." (53)
"Manipulation of behavior through rewards and punishments will never touch the stony heart." (59)
"Since God is concerned with our hearts as the source of our behavior, it follows that heart change is our most important concern as we instruct and discipline our children, encouraging them to live consistently with God's law." (64)
"We reap in habits for life." (74) - This was valuable to me in all areas of life right now, but especially as we come upon a new year in a few weeks.
"Behaviorism may be popular - it may even work, but it obscures the gospel." (77)
"We are fashioned for the fascination his glory evokes." (94)
"Think of harmless hobbies in which children will invest vast amounts of time. Think of the daydreams that provide excitement to a heart that is not finding true and lasting pleasures in knowing God." (97)
"Sadly, many youth ministries pander to the appetites in young people for the banality of the youth culture. Young people are idealistic and yearning for something grand and glorious that is worth living for." (108)
Here are some of the quotes that I really enjoyed. And, I just want to give you some thoughts to think about - I'm not putting much of my 2 cents worth here. Definitely go get the book - you'll be glad you did!
"In the absence of biblical formative instruction, secular formative instructors take over." (15)
"Formative instruction must be rooted in Scripture." (19)
"The most effective way to teach our children to love the Scripture is to love it ourselves. They will see us longing to read it, hear it, and understand it, and learn that it is valuable." (21)
"We must show our children the vital connection between the powerful story of redemption in the Scriptures and their daily experience." (27) This is why I'm glad I go to Sojourn here in Louisville. I love how the pastors bring every sermon back to the gospel. It has given me a framework to see all of Scripture in light of Jesus and his finished work on the Cross.
"The primary place for children to receive formative instruction is in the home. ______ cannot replace the family. The home is the place where we present a culture that is distinctively Christian." (35)
"Our hope is that the gospel will be the power of God to salvation in their lives as it has been in ours." (43) - See Romans 1.16
"We devote a great deal of time to the outer man, but God is concerned with the heart. Our children will never interpret life correctly until they understand that it is the heart that directs all of life." (53)
"Manipulation of behavior through rewards and punishments will never touch the stony heart." (59)
"Since God is concerned with our hearts as the source of our behavior, it follows that heart change is our most important concern as we instruct and discipline our children, encouraging them to live consistently with God's law." (64)
"We reap in habits for life." (74) - This was valuable to me in all areas of life right now, but especially as we come upon a new year in a few weeks.
"Behaviorism may be popular - it may even work, but it obscures the gospel." (77)
"We are fashioned for the fascination his glory evokes." (94)
"Think of harmless hobbies in which children will invest vast amounts of time. Think of the daydreams that provide excitement to a heart that is not finding true and lasting pleasures in knowing God." (97)
"Sadly, many youth ministries pander to the appetites in young people for the banality of the youth culture. Young people are idealistic and yearning for something grand and glorious that is worth living for." (108)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Choosing Gratitude Part 2
Honestly, the reason this blog follow-up has taken so long from the previous one, is because this book got tucked away in a bag and I just now found it.
Well, here are some quotes from the newly released Nancy Leigh Demoss book, Choosing Gratitude. I have definitely loved and benefited from this book and already recommended it to many ladies. One random benefit is if I wake up in the middle of the night or am having trouble falling asleep - I choose to be thankful and start listing things in my head. Good way to fall asleep.
"I've seen that if I'm not ceaselessly vigilant about rejecting ingratitude and choosing gratitude, I all-too-easily get sucked into the undertow of life in a fallen world. I start focusing on what I don't have that I want, or what I want that I don't have. My life starts to feel hard, wearisome, and overwhelming." (p. 16)
"Its a choice that requires constantly renewing my mind with the truth of God's Word, setting my heart to savor God and his gifts, and disciplining my tongue to speak words that reflect His goodness and grace - until a grateful spirit becomes my reflexive response to all of life." (p 17)
I love her word choice of "choosing". We can choose what we want to do. We can either live a joyful hectic life or we can choose to live a bitter life. Take our pick. So often its our outlook on life that makes all the difference in the world.
She starts with a look at the base of our gratitude: the cross. Our only hope in this life of being grateful is the cross of Christ. She then presses us to be grateful and honoring of Christ to others:
"Forgive me for the many times and ways I reflect negatively on Your character and Your goodness, by verbalizing discontent and murmuring to others." (p 58).
I think about this now. Do I cause You grief to others - do others get a wrong picture of Christ because of what comes out of my mouth? Think about it. You interact with non-Christians throughout every day: whether its the checkout lady at Walmart, the bank teller, co-worker, neighbor. If its raining out and your neighbor says something negatively - you can either react negatively back or you can "I thank God for the rain, it makes everything shiny" or something about the full parking lot at the new Target or the mall during Christmas time. They can comment on how hectic it is and you can say, "its providing good business for the stores and I was able to get extra walking in because of having to park way out." Just think of little ways you can choose to be grateful.
"Gratitude does become a reliable measure for where our hearts are with Him." (p 69). I know if I am bitter and critical - I haven't spent much time in the Word or praying because my heart becomes very much like the world. Turn. Stop. Be grateful. Repent. Praise.
She has a saying in here that her dad used to say "I'm better than I deserve!" when people asked him how he was. A friend of mine that I worked with in seminary, Bryan, used to say this too. It was contagious. Everytime he said it it brought me back to thinking of my salvation and the grace that God graciously bestowed on me because of His good favor and kindness.
"Grateful people are loving people who seek to bless others, while ungrateful people are bent on gratifying themselves." (p. 84) Another great test of motivation and purpose.
Dt 8.11-14 - such powerful verses! Meditate on these!
"The guilt-to-grace-to-gratitude model we talked about earlier is not only keeping with a biblical theology and lifestyle, it is crucial to our joy." (p. 147) I'm reminded of John Piper's book When I Don't Desire God.
"I believe that a humble, grateful woman who walks in community with other believers will become increasingly gracious, warm, large-hearted, and yes, beautiful - inside and out." (p. 155) I am thankful for women in my life who live this truth and choice out every day. You can tell a difference in their lives and attitudes, jobs and marriages, and families. I love being around them. Thank you ladies for being a witness and life model!
Well, here are some quotes from the newly released Nancy Leigh Demoss book, Choosing Gratitude. I have definitely loved and benefited from this book and already recommended it to many ladies. One random benefit is if I wake up in the middle of the night or am having trouble falling asleep - I choose to be thankful and start listing things in my head. Good way to fall asleep.
"I've seen that if I'm not ceaselessly vigilant about rejecting ingratitude and choosing gratitude, I all-too-easily get sucked into the undertow of life in a fallen world. I start focusing on what I don't have that I want, or what I want that I don't have. My life starts to feel hard, wearisome, and overwhelming." (p. 16)
"Its a choice that requires constantly renewing my mind with the truth of God's Word, setting my heart to savor God and his gifts, and disciplining my tongue to speak words that reflect His goodness and grace - until a grateful spirit becomes my reflexive response to all of life." (p 17)
I love her word choice of "choosing". We can choose what we want to do. We can either live a joyful hectic life or we can choose to live a bitter life. Take our pick. So often its our outlook on life that makes all the difference in the world.
She starts with a look at the base of our gratitude: the cross. Our only hope in this life of being grateful is the cross of Christ. She then presses us to be grateful and honoring of Christ to others:
"Forgive me for the many times and ways I reflect negatively on Your character and Your goodness, by verbalizing discontent and murmuring to others." (p 58).
I think about this now. Do I cause You grief to others - do others get a wrong picture of Christ because of what comes out of my mouth? Think about it. You interact with non-Christians throughout every day: whether its the checkout lady at Walmart, the bank teller, co-worker, neighbor. If its raining out and your neighbor says something negatively - you can either react negatively back or you can "I thank God for the rain, it makes everything shiny" or something about the full parking lot at the new Target or the mall during Christmas time. They can comment on how hectic it is and you can say, "its providing good business for the stores and I was able to get extra walking in because of having to park way out." Just think of little ways you can choose to be grateful.
"Gratitude does become a reliable measure for where our hearts are with Him." (p 69). I know if I am bitter and critical - I haven't spent much time in the Word or praying because my heart becomes very much like the world. Turn. Stop. Be grateful. Repent. Praise.
She has a saying in here that her dad used to say "I'm better than I deserve!" when people asked him how he was. A friend of mine that I worked with in seminary, Bryan, used to say this too. It was contagious. Everytime he said it it brought me back to thinking of my salvation and the grace that God graciously bestowed on me because of His good favor and kindness.
"Grateful people are loving people who seek to bless others, while ungrateful people are bent on gratifying themselves." (p. 84) Another great test of motivation and purpose.
Dt 8.11-14 - such powerful verses! Meditate on these!
"The guilt-to-grace-to-gratitude model we talked about earlier is not only keeping with a biblical theology and lifestyle, it is crucial to our joy." (p. 147) I'm reminded of John Piper's book When I Don't Desire God.
"I believe that a humble, grateful woman who walks in community with other believers will become increasingly gracious, warm, large-hearted, and yes, beautiful - inside and out." (p. 155) I am thankful for women in my life who live this truth and choice out every day. You can tell a difference in their lives and attitudes, jobs and marriages, and families. I love being around them. Thank you ladies for being a witness and life model!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Gratitude Part 1
I just finished Nancy Leigh Demoss' newest book, Choosing Gratitude. My thoughts on that book will be part 2 of the Gratitude blogs. (I'm very thankful that it was a free book - thank you!)
This weekend has just been grand. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I wanted to share with you (whoever you are) some of the blessings that God has poured out on my life this wknd.
1. Work on Friday night. I work in the housing office to get some money taken off my rent each month. This easy, do-nothing job has been great. And it has given me opp to see some Boyce girls and buid a better relationship with them.
2. Whole Foods - I've gotten to go twice this weekend. What a great place. I'm not rich enough to buy all my groceries there, but I do buy a few things there each week.
3. Fall weather. This is one thing that I like better in both KY and NC rather than FL. I like waking up on crisp fall mornings. Then, I am ready for Spring. Yes - I'm fickle!
4. Apple Picking with a sweet friend. It worked out very well to only have one lady be able to go apple picking. One of the joys of being at Crossing last year was to meet Ben and Cynthia - Cynthia is wonderful (Ben too). She juiced all these great fruits and veggies to go along with the pumpking muffins I brought for our breakfast. She is an encouragement to me, and pushed me for the sake of the gospel. And we just had FUN!
5. Cooking. God has given me talent and enjoyment in this - and having fun stuff to bake and cook for others is such a pleasure to me.
6. Football and friends. I love FLORIDA football. And I love my friends, Brad and Lindsay Weldy. We have moved 3 states together. They have 3 of the most darling kids. I got to hang out with them last night while they had a date. I loved on the baby, then watched football in HD. What a blessing. They are amazing friends - ones I can be completely honest with and let down my guard around, one who encourage me, ones who love me, ones who let me love on their kids, ones who display the gospel boldly in the lives and home and marriage. They are the biggest blessing in this city to me.
7. Down Comforter. When my brother and sister in law moved to Africa, I got their down comforter. I love it. It is so warm and comfy and weighted. I love to snuggle under it. Unfortunately - I didn't get enough time under it last night.
8. Serving Communion. Communion in and of itself is amazing. But, serving it is a joy as well. Sojourn is a fairly big church, and I definitely don't know tons of people. This morning, the quote from Princess Bride came to my mind before I served "Love her, as I love her, and there will be peace" - from Prince Humperdink announcing his choice of a bride. I got to serve a faculty member and his family, a friend who does everything at Sojourn including waving the magic parking wand, a dude from the Summit whose birthday is today, a new friend from the seminary. The wonderful thing is - folks looking you in the eye when you say "the Body of Christ, broken for you", claiming it, accepting it, and voicing it back to you. Behold, the family of Christ!
9. Beautiful weather. It was cool and clear and sunny today in Louisville. So, I got my camera out and sauntered down Frankfort Avenue - snapping pictures, and just enjoying the weather.
10. Friend for a good lunch. I love friends. One of my dearest ones here, again from Crossing, is Sarah. Sarah has been a fantastic friend, we go to lunch about once a month, and text encouraging things to each other. We share prayer requests, and the joys that God has in our lives. And we ate at a new fave of mine in the Ville - North End Cafe (locally grown, great food, warm fun atmosphere - perfect for sitting for 2 hours for a relaxing lunch).
11. Fresh baked bread. A friend who give me a bagel recipe - and then smelling the yeast as it rises and then baking it off.
12. A laptop with a strong battery. I love my little Samsung portable Netbook. Its great. I carry it like a book - and it is perfect to use while sitting in Mullins checking ID. (Thanks Dad!)
Learn to be grateful in and for all things. Voice these praises! Ok - more from NLD later this week.
So, even though I am praying about many things: future, relationships, control issues, - God is so good.
"I will bless the Lord at all times - His praise will continuously be in my mouth." - Ps 34.1 (again, I am thankful for Chris Gaynor who got that verse drilled into my head at the Summit.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Left and Right of Feminine Style/Dress/Modesty
InStyle. What Not To Wear. Ann Taylor Loft. The Devil Wears Prada. The Bible.
Most women would recognize the first four as beacons for the world of fashion. What about the last? Shouldn't the Bible be our first place to go for answers on what we can wear and how we should dress as Christian women?
Many years ago now I was given a sermon by my then pastor's wife on "The Soul of Modesty" by Sovereign Grace pastor CJ Mahaney. I always thought I dressed modestly - but before I pulled out of the church parking lot, the Spirit used that sermon to convict of so much more than hems and necklines. That day started a work in my heart that God is continuing even till today - more than 5 years later.
This post isn't so much about lists of what we can and should not wear. It is more about our heart and seeing some of the ways the culture and its bent toward feminism has altered our view on modesty. Recently, I attended a women's conference. There were women dressed in skirts and tees - there were also woman dressed in dockers and plain shirts. Some had their hair done and makeup on and matching purses and some didn't have any makeup on and wore worn-out tennis shoes. Trust me, I love days when I don't have to put on makeup and I can stay at home in exercise clothes - but that does nothing for my sense of femininity and I rarely go out in public like this (anymore).
So, here is where the title of this blog post comes in. I had a brief chat with a wise woman about this topic and my concerns. The first thing she pointed me to was Isaiah 30 where God whispers to His children "this is the way, walk in it". The Lord is chastising His unfaithful children who live their lives without consulting Him or His laws, how they make plans without seeking His face, how they longed to stay in slavery to self and worthless idols. Then, He offers hope - that if they would just return to Him, to His Word, to His Commands, they would know his directions. With every step - whether to the left or the right - they would know his direction.
Scripture gives us Biblical guidelines for our daily lives. We don't need to wonder about anything - we have everything we need in order to live Biblical lives. This goes for fashion and our wardrobe too. There is a left and right (extremes) in this due to the sin in our hearts. Let us strive to live "this is the way, walk in it".
Here are two of the extremes:
1. Not wanting to dress/present ourselves as femininely. Women blame this on place of residence (in the country), personality, lack of money or interest. In reading Carolyn McCulley's newest book Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, I came across this excerpt from The Goddess Within by Woolger and Woolger:
"Despite her strength, brilliance, and independence, there is a paradox contained in the traditional image of a maid clad in armor. It seems to us that the more energy the Athena woman puts into developing her successful, worldly, armored self, the more she hides her maidenly vulnerability. So, with her androgyny, Athena conceals a conflict, an unresolved tension between her tough outer self and her hidden, unexpressed self that can be a source of great insecurity with regard to her finding an integral feminine identity. We call it Athena's wound."
This may be one of our culture's problems. We want to be so equal to men that we are unwilling to dress femininely. God didn't create us to be androgynous. He created us FEMALE! Live in it - accept it - love it. Its hard for me to even wear business suits to work because they look very manly - even if I wear a pink shirt and heels with it.
We are given a great, godly example of this in Scripture - Queen Esther. She spent 7 days in preparation - a full week at a spa! Makeup, dress, oils, lotions. Now, I'm not suggesting we spend hours on our look every day - but 30 minutes to get dressed, do our hair (in front of a mirror), put on makeup (not while driving) isn't bad.
2. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is the woman who cares too much about what she wears. Recently, I was loaned a copy of the latest issue of InStyle magazine. I enjoyed looking at all the latest styles, but I don't have $300 to spend on a purse of $900 on a pair of shoes. Some of sin by going into debt to buy these things or by attaching ourselves unhealthily to things of this world. Maybe we spend more time looking in the mirror getting ready for our day than we spend in the Word of God. Or we tend to get judgmental of others - basing our thoughts of them solely on what they are wearing. Are we too proud to shop at thrift and discount stores or clearance racks? One word of caution in Scripture comes from the preacher in Ecclesiastes chapter 2. He learns after all his striving that "all was vanity and a striving after wind".
So, if we are "to walk in this way" - according to Scripture. What does it say on this topic?
1. Proverbs 31.30. A profound verse. Our hopes are not in what we look like - they are only found in God. We may think this and "believe it" but until this comes out in our actions and in our hearts - it is just lip service.
2. 1 Peter 3.3-4. Again, emphasis on the heart. But this admonishment from the Apostle doesn't say "do not pay attention" to the outer - he warns not to get them out of order - the heart is first.
3. Titus 2.4-5. Teaching others about purity - especially "older women". This doesn't mean we have to wear pants and turtlenecks year round - but we do need to watch our necklines. Women - train those around you. Model biblical femininity. They look to you. Be fashionable - but be modest. Especially if you are in front of a lot of women, or on a platform. I remember the rule for singing in Southeastern's chapel was to wear skirts below the knee, preferred to the ankle. Is this necessary - no. But, the standard is higher for those in leadership.
4. 1 Timothy 2.9. We must adorn ourselves with modesty and self-control. If some woman has 300 pairs of shoes - or even 30 - that may not be a problem with modesty but with self-control.
I think these guidelines are very important. The Bible doesn't give us a list because its not about lists (last legalism) - it is about Christian liberty, grace, protecting others, being feminine, living pure, conduct becoming to Christ, running hard after God.
I was in Goodwill recently. Found a great gray skirt by Banana Republic - expensive. The Goodwill price was only 3$. I knew it looked short on the hanger, but of course it wouldn't be that short in the dressing room. However, it was. I thought it about it - looked at it in the mirror from many different angles, sat down in it. I finally had to take it off and say no. Sometimes I wish I didn't know anything about God's commands when it comes to my clothing, my heart, and the protection of men around me. But, I do. And I am thankful because they are life-giving.
My prayer for you is this:
1. Dress modestly. If there is a question about it - you probably shouldn't wear it.
2. Love God more than your wardrobe.
3. Don't judge others because of what they wear or don't wear.
4. Dads (if any are reading)- set the bar high - go shopping with your wife or daughter and give your input into their wardrobe.
Most women would recognize the first four as beacons for the world of fashion. What about the last? Shouldn't the Bible be our first place to go for answers on what we can wear and how we should dress as Christian women?
Many years ago now I was given a sermon by my then pastor's wife on "The Soul of Modesty" by Sovereign Grace pastor CJ Mahaney. I always thought I dressed modestly - but before I pulled out of the church parking lot, the Spirit used that sermon to convict of so much more than hems and necklines. That day started a work in my heart that God is continuing even till today - more than 5 years later.
This post isn't so much about lists of what we can and should not wear. It is more about our heart and seeing some of the ways the culture and its bent toward feminism has altered our view on modesty. Recently, I attended a women's conference. There were women dressed in skirts and tees - there were also woman dressed in dockers and plain shirts. Some had their hair done and makeup on and matching purses and some didn't have any makeup on and wore worn-out tennis shoes. Trust me, I love days when I don't have to put on makeup and I can stay at home in exercise clothes - but that does nothing for my sense of femininity and I rarely go out in public like this (anymore).
So, here is where the title of this blog post comes in. I had a brief chat with a wise woman about this topic and my concerns. The first thing she pointed me to was Isaiah 30 where God whispers to His children "this is the way, walk in it". The Lord is chastising His unfaithful children who live their lives without consulting Him or His laws, how they make plans without seeking His face, how they longed to stay in slavery to self and worthless idols. Then, He offers hope - that if they would just return to Him, to His Word, to His Commands, they would know his directions. With every step - whether to the left or the right - they would know his direction.
Scripture gives us Biblical guidelines for our daily lives. We don't need to wonder about anything - we have everything we need in order to live Biblical lives. This goes for fashion and our wardrobe too. There is a left and right (extremes) in this due to the sin in our hearts. Let us strive to live "this is the way, walk in it".
Here are two of the extremes:
1. Not wanting to dress/present ourselves as femininely. Women blame this on place of residence (in the country), personality, lack of money or interest. In reading Carolyn McCulley's newest book Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, I came across this excerpt from The Goddess Within by Woolger and Woolger:
"Despite her strength, brilliance, and independence, there is a paradox contained in the traditional image of a maid clad in armor. It seems to us that the more energy the Athena woman puts into developing her successful, worldly, armored self, the more she hides her maidenly vulnerability. So, with her androgyny, Athena conceals a conflict, an unresolved tension between her tough outer self and her hidden, unexpressed self that can be a source of great insecurity with regard to her finding an integral feminine identity. We call it Athena's wound."
This may be one of our culture's problems. We want to be so equal to men that we are unwilling to dress femininely. God didn't create us to be androgynous. He created us FEMALE! Live in it - accept it - love it. Its hard for me to even wear business suits to work because they look very manly - even if I wear a pink shirt and heels with it.
We are given a great, godly example of this in Scripture - Queen Esther. She spent 7 days in preparation - a full week at a spa! Makeup, dress, oils, lotions. Now, I'm not suggesting we spend hours on our look every day - but 30 minutes to get dressed, do our hair (in front of a mirror), put on makeup (not while driving) isn't bad.
2. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is the woman who cares too much about what she wears. Recently, I was loaned a copy of the latest issue of InStyle magazine. I enjoyed looking at all the latest styles, but I don't have $300 to spend on a purse of $900 on a pair of shoes. Some of sin by going into debt to buy these things or by attaching ourselves unhealthily to things of this world. Maybe we spend more time looking in the mirror getting ready for our day than we spend in the Word of God. Or we tend to get judgmental of others - basing our thoughts of them solely on what they are wearing. Are we too proud to shop at thrift and discount stores or clearance racks? One word of caution in Scripture comes from the preacher in Ecclesiastes chapter 2. He learns after all his striving that "all was vanity and a striving after wind".
So, if we are "to walk in this way" - according to Scripture. What does it say on this topic?
1. Proverbs 31.30. A profound verse. Our hopes are not in what we look like - they are only found in God. We may think this and "believe it" but until this comes out in our actions and in our hearts - it is just lip service.
2. 1 Peter 3.3-4. Again, emphasis on the heart. But this admonishment from the Apostle doesn't say "do not pay attention" to the outer - he warns not to get them out of order - the heart is first.
3. Titus 2.4-5. Teaching others about purity - especially "older women". This doesn't mean we have to wear pants and turtlenecks year round - but we do need to watch our necklines. Women - train those around you. Model biblical femininity. They look to you. Be fashionable - but be modest. Especially if you are in front of a lot of women, or on a platform. I remember the rule for singing in Southeastern's chapel was to wear skirts below the knee, preferred to the ankle. Is this necessary - no. But, the standard is higher for those in leadership.
4. 1 Timothy 2.9. We must adorn ourselves with modesty and self-control. If some woman has 300 pairs of shoes - or even 30 - that may not be a problem with modesty but with self-control.
I think these guidelines are very important. The Bible doesn't give us a list because its not about lists (last legalism) - it is about Christian liberty, grace, protecting others, being feminine, living pure, conduct becoming to Christ, running hard after God.
I was in Goodwill recently. Found a great gray skirt by Banana Republic - expensive. The Goodwill price was only 3$. I knew it looked short on the hanger, but of course it wouldn't be that short in the dressing room. However, it was. I thought it about it - looked at it in the mirror from many different angles, sat down in it. I finally had to take it off and say no. Sometimes I wish I didn't know anything about God's commands when it comes to my clothing, my heart, and the protection of men around me. But, I do. And I am thankful because they are life-giving.
My prayer for you is this:
1. Dress modestly. If there is a question about it - you probably shouldn't wear it.
2. Love God more than your wardrobe.
3. Don't judge others because of what they wear or don't wear.
4. Dads (if any are reading)- set the bar high - go shopping with your wife or daughter and give your input into their wardrobe.
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