True Woman Conference Chattanooga: Voddie Baucham

True Woman Conference Sessions 1: Voddie Baucham
Dr. Baucham is a pastor in Spring, Texas and an author, a husband, and a father. The first time I heard him speak live was at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary to a packed house – he brought it. Tonight he is speaking to a group of women of all ages – about 2400 of us. Different audience, same Truth. Tonight, the truth is coming from Titus 1-2.
“Set our heart’s affection on you – speak to us clearly and powerfully through your Word." - Amen
From True Woman Manifesto: God’s Plan for gender is wider than marriage; all women, whether married or single, are to model femininity in their various relationship, by exhibiting a distinctive modesty , responsiveness, and gentleness of spirit. (Lord – make this so in my life.)
Mature Christian women have a responsibility to leave a legacy of faith, by discipling younger women in the Word and ways of God and modeling for the next generation lives of fruitful femininity.
God gives us a picture in Titus 1 and 2 of what he has provided for our sanctification – the way he shapes our lives as believers. There are three principle tools here:
a. Godly mature men and women in the church.
b. Godly manly elders and pastors
c. Biblically functioning homes

Titus 2 – Godly mature men and women in the church. This is for our discipleship and growth in Christ. Older men are to be. Older women are to likewise be. Godly, mature, character. This isn’t automatic for people who are older – this is character that is formed over time and is the fruit of sanctification. This is the picture of character forged over time. We, as women, have a unique power in our tongue – to build up and to tear down. The older women are exemplified in the way we use our speech. The picture painted here is the result of the years of walking with God and being transformed by the gospel – she opens her mouth and wisdom comes out (Prov 31, Gal 4, Dt 31), speaking God’s truth. This isn’t a picture of a woman who teaches Bible studies (primarily) – but is speaking of a woman who has poured her life into the lives of women through intentional relationships. The younger women need older women to teach them to love their husbands and children. That the Word of God might not be reviled. When older women are not about the task of teaching younger women – we are not rightly living out the gospel. If we are following the ways of a culture that denies biblical manhood and womanhood, then I am marring the picture of Christ and his Church. His honor is being defamed. These things need to be taught. The older women have such a crucial role in the life of the church. And when we blame our disobedience on our circumstances: we are putting our circumstances above the Word of God.

Titus 1: Godly manly elders and pastors. The list in Titus 1 is primarily for pastors and elders, but Titus 1 is for all men – here is why:
There is no list in Titus 2.
Pastors are called in 1 Peter 5.3 to be examples to the flock. If he has a list of qualifications that aren’t applicable to the rest of the flock – then how can he be an example.
There isn’t anything in this list that we would give up for our sons – that we would not want our sons to be. Above reproach. Godly kids. Not arrogant. But hospitable. Hold firm to
the Truth (not a heretic). (Just to name a few.)
Titus 1: Biblically functioning homes. Titus 1.10 – “for” – there are many who are upsetting whole families.”
The primary discipling unit is the home. Eph 6.1-4. Children, parents, fathers – Dt 6, Ps 78, Proverbs – the home is the place of instruction for our children. Child is born. Child is born into a home with a mother and father who know and love God. They understand biblical womanhood and manhood, understand marriage as a picture of the gospel, and they give sound doctrine throughout the life of that child, they take that child to a healthy church where he hears thundering gospel from the pulpit. The pastor echoes what this child has heard in his home, the gray-haired folks in the church echo what this child has learned in his home. That is the picture.
On a personal note: I do not live in the ideal. I am not ideal: I sin. I fall short of the glory of God. I do have great older women, pastors, and families who model Titus 1 and 2 for me. I pray that as I grow older, the Lord continues to put younger women in my life that I can pour into – that I can speak grace and truth to. Lord – make my speech a display of your glorious Gospel.
When we don’t have all the pieces of this puzzle – be grateful before you get mad at the Lord. Be grateful for the grace in your life of what you do have. Repent of the sin that is in our lives that keep us from having the ideal. We live in a fallen world – always affected by either our sin or someone else’s sin. Repent of the anger, the bitterness, the lies, the unforgiveness. Be God’s, live and walk in the Truth of the Word and the light of the Gospel.

ApParent Privilege - Steve Wright

Whenever do I cry during a flight? When I am reading a book by Steve Wright - ok, this book by Steve Wright.
Over the last 2 1/2 years I've gotten to know Steve and his wife, Tina, who minister at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. He came and taught one of my youth ministry classes during my time at Seminary, but I'd never gotten to know him and his family and ministry.
This book is good on its own. My boss has it on his reading list for his class at Southern. Another one of our profs uses it as well.
But, this book gets better when you know the person who wrote it. When you know they live out the joys, sorrows, prayers, worship, ministry, heart of this book. That is what makes it so good. So, yes...I cried, laughed (aloud on a flight), prayed, longed for, remembered times that I didn't have growing up. So, must read? Yes. Right up there with Instructing a Child's Heart.
Here are some of my fave quotes - hopefully I'll get the opportunity to use them one day. (I think this book actually made me want to be a parent...)
"You have an apparent privilege, the most exciting of you life, right in front of you - to be a touch of grace on your children's souls." (17)
"If the cross of Christ is the center of history, then it must also be the center of our lives as well as the center of our communication with our children." (29)
"We must continually show our children what it means to be a biblical woman and a biblical man." (40)
'God gave parents the primary discipleship role." (54) - Did I mention this guy is a youth minister at a church? He is not thinking he is going to lose his job with this statement.
"We must take hold of the privilege to share a theology of family with our children. They need to hear from us first because they are already hearing from so many others." (59)
"Biblical parenting is more than keeping our kids from having sex, using drugs, or going to jail. It is fostering an awe of God in our children." (62)
"Yes, we are recipients of the limitless blessings of marriage, but marriage isn't primarily about us. Christian marriages point to God and therefore must be protected and valued." (66)
"We must understand a healthy marriage is the foundation of healthy parenting that enables God's glory to be seen by our children and others." (68)
"Your parenting affects more than your child's here and now. It affects generations to come and their eternity." (94) My boss spoke on this topic at Wright's conference, ReThink 2009. I remember him saying that we don't parent and do ministry just for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, and their children. Think future. Think eternity.
This next statement came just for me: it was very clear that this paragraph was written just for me: "The responsibility to teach our children the incredible truths of God may seem overwhelming, but the Bride of Christ is there to help. She will teach you how to teach. She will train you how to train. You cannot do it alone." (109) This was one of the cry points in this book for me.
Steve does a great job of pulling together many statistics from youth ministry, Scriptural support for all of his points. He does the research for you (as well as in his other book, ReThink).
So, here is a good ending point. Go buy this book. If you are a parent, go get it. If you know someone having a baby - get it for them. Buy the youth pastor at your church this book. Tell him to read it. Just read it. Then live it and practice it. By God's grace and for His glory. For eternity.

Gospel-Powered Parenting - William Farley

This book came across my Google Reader, and I immediately passed it along to my boss, one of my profs I work for, and a youth pastor. This was right up their alley. I was asked to order 10 copies within the week.
I finally was able to sit down and finish this book. An easy read, not too hard, not too long (225). Though not stated, this book, I would have to say, is written to men. If you keep that in mind, this book will pose little problem to you. If you are a woman (mother, wife) you may feel a little slighted. Farley does a great job addressing the need for Fathers to step up and be fathers - but sometimes at the neglect or dismissal of the mothers. (That is just how I felt reading some of his words, others may not feel that way at all).
Anyway, again, since I'm not a parent, I won't make much comment, but hopefully you can learn and maybe even pick this book up to read yourselves, or give to parents you know.
"We are absolutely dependent on God's Spirit to complete the parenting process." (19)
"We (parents) are responsible to reach our children for Christ." (21) This as opposed to what many parents would say: the school or the church is responsible.
"Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world." (23)
"Most Christian parents assume that church attendance or youth group involvement equates to new birth." (28)
"Effective Christian parents aim at their children's hearts rather than their behavior." (43)
"We parent out of our theology. Everyone, Christian and non-Christian, has a theology - an idea of who God is and who we are by contrast. Some are accurate. Some are not." (71). This can go for everything - its called a worldview.
"Marriage-centered, not child-centered moms, usually exert the greatest influence on their children for Christ and his kingdom." (113)
"Those who meditate on the message of the cross strive for holiness. Their efforts only make them more aware of their failings. This causes them to run to the cross for forgiveness more frequently. It causes them to need the cross more desparately. All of this happens because they feel the weight of their sins more biblically. It culminates in the peace of biblical humility." (121)
"We should encourage women to promote biblical masculinity." (135)
"A woman can also encourage masculinity by respecting her husband, especially in front of her children." (140). I see this often on facebook. Now, true, most children are not on fb because of the age limitations, but what is said on fb is often said in person or on the phone talking to a girlfriend, etc. Wives will cut down, or belittle their husbands, or speak of his incompetence, etc. Children pick up on this. This causes them to lose respect for one or both of the parents. It is difficult to regain.
"The gospel should be at the heart of all attempts to discipline children. It motivates our discipline and it becomes the end of effective Christian discipline." (147) - Probably my favorite quote of the book.
"We have not learned to be thankful for our children, despite their problems. We think we deserve better. We are ungrateful. A lack of gratitude always points to pride. We deserve crucifixion. We don't deserve obedient, easy children." (213) - Second favorite quote of the book.
"What wonderful news! God uses the imperfect efforts of gospel-centered parents to do his deep and abiding work in our children. In the meantime, the gospel frees us from the burden of perfection." (219). Ends it with the gospel - which is where he stays most of the time.

Now - how to teach this, promote this, equip parents in this, live this out - without being a parent. That is the task.

Signs of a Biblical Husband/Father

I know it was Mother's Day yesterday, but this post is about husbands/fathers. Not that I am not thankful for godly mothers I am. (Mom, Phyllis, Lindsay W, Kim R, Elizabeth B, Danna S, Clarissa B, Angela S, Merriem F, Kasey F, Moriah T - all have shown me what it means to be a godly wife and mother and I am so thankful for them and their modeling).
But, I have been thinking about this topic for a while now - and saw such a great model for it this morning. I saw a friend of mine lead his family in a decision that had to be made, take steps to provide for his family no matter what God told him to do in order to do that, and to protect them by being obedient to God's moving. I was so excited to see that. Even though it wasn't easy - and it took diligence in praying and in seeking the face of God over matters that concern his family. I was excited to see that there are godly husbands and fathers out there willing to be a model not only for their family - but also for single men who need role models of what godly husbandry looks like. Thank you!
A friend and I were talking a few years ago - saying that men have it more tough then women when they get married. All the weight of providing for a family - both spiritually and financially - is on their shoulders. That would be so burdensome at times. But, there is strength and power in the Name of the Lord as it says so many times in Isaiah and the Psalms as well as other places in Scripture.
The Mothers that I named above - all of them have husbands like this. I know they are grateful - and so I am - that I have godly couples to look at as models of godly families.

Modesty, Femininity, & Feminism

I have few "soapboxes" but this definitely is one of them. I saw the bulk issue during my college years because I was living in St. Augustine doing youth ministry. It caused many problems: trying to get the girls to dress modestly when all they wanted to wear, especially 10 months out of the year, were bathing suits and tank tops.

The problem, I have learned, is not with the clothes you wear, the length of your skirt, and how many fingers-wide your tank top strap is. The problem lies in the heart and the motivation for wearing what we wear. I was given a CJ Mahaney sermon to listen to by Veronica Greear about the "Soul of Modesty" - you can find it here. I started listening to it before I left the church parking lot; and God had convicted me deep in my heart by the time I reached the red light (first couple minutes of the sermon which was mostly Scripture). Modesty is a matter of the heart, not necessarily of the closet.

How this whole blog entry came about today was by an article I read today in the Southern Baptist Texan, a newspaper out of Texas. One of the things Penna Dexter said was "Christian women and girls unwittingly undermine their testimonies by the way they dress." How true! Some of our girls are learning how to dress by watching the teen stars on television - and yes, this even occurs in our churches and youth groups. Modesty is about: a gentle and quiet spirit, not letting the outward appearance take control or define our inward spirit. If we want the world to see what Biblical Femininity is - the first thing they are going to see is how we dress. Now, I'm not saying we have to wear skirts that cover our ankles, long sleeve shirts in the summer time, and never wear a bathing suit. I am saying think before you buy an outfit. Think what this might say to a lost and dying world, or to younger girls that you are trying to mentor. Moms - think what your daughters are seeing every time they watch you get dressed to go somewhere. What are you modeling? I had a friend of mine in college tell me once, "It doesn't matter. I could wear a long sleeve shirt and jeans and guys would still lust after me." That isn't modesty. It is about the heart - and then that is reflected in the wardrobe.

One of the things that impressed me most in the Pastor CJ's sermon mentioned earlier (he preached it to his own people at Covenant Life in Gaithersburg, MD) was his emphasis on the Dad's being the head of the household, the spiritual leader, even in what their daughters and their wives wear (see 1 Tim 3.4). This is not widely seen in families today. Dexter said, "mothers hold the purse strings and have the final say regarding their daughters' clothes." Why is that? Do Dad's really not care how young men are looking at their daughters? Do they not care what their daughters' and wife's clothes say about them as a father and a husband? Dads - please, we want you to be the fathers God created you to be. If you don't have time or desire to go spend the afternoon at the mall: review everything that is brought home (most girls love fashion shows, especially when they are on the runway), go through catalogues or the Internet stores with your daughters before they go, teach them what is and isn't appropriate of young Christian girls, train them up (Prov. 22.6).

Last, what does this say about feminism. Dexter talks about the impact of the sexual revolution: "girls are victims of this corrosion. So is a society that once benefited from the virtue of its women. But we no longer encourage that virtue, and the sexual revolution of the 1960s that claimed to empower women has fueled a full-blown sexualized culture." She went on to talk about the positive changes that are seen in some aspects of culture that this might be changing. It might be changing, but we've got a long way to go.

A couple of things that might make the change more wide spread:

1. Dads - please love your wives and daughters (and God) enough to know and care about what they are wearing - teach them about modesty and how looks matter to guys. Girls don't see the clothes the way guys see clothes. Protect us - we want that.

2. Women - learn to look at yourself in the mirror before you walk out: are bra straps showing, can you see through your skirt or blouse, when you bend down, can you see down your shirt? All these are important questions. And think not only "do I look cute in this outfit" but "how am I going to honor my brothers (in Christ) today by this outfit". Think unselfishly!

3. Churches - be the CJ Mahaneys and teach about this in your youth group, college group, from the pulpit. Don't leave clothes and apparel just to the GAP window dressers and Britney Spears Bratz Dolls. They aren't cutting it. They are teaching our young girls the wrong way to dress. This is what's happening with those: "The doe-eyed, midriff-baring doll was dressed in cheap pink-and-black lingerie and looked as if she should be dancing round a pole.
"It’s one of the BratzBabyz!" the little girl burst out. "She’s called Sugar and I want to be just like her!" This was at a 4-yr old birthday party.

4. And as with anything - be modeling the grace and glory of God in what you wear and how you wear it.

more of my fave people

In being this is my last month in the state of NC - I thought I would mention some more of my fave people...

This is Tim - wonderful fabulous small group leader extraordinairre and ex-choir leader at Faith Baptist Church. He is now getting set to move his family (his wife and all the kids) to Haiti to work with a medical team down there and equip Pastors. This is the new gift that God brought them in January - they only found out about 2 weeks before getting her. Some of you think 9 months is not long enough - think of only 2 weeks.
I love this family - pray for them.

Dad Part 2

ALright - so I haven't mastered the whole picture thing. This is Rick. He's a friend from seminary. What I love most about how him and Stacy parent is the way they discipline their two kids. (and Pete?). Thanks for being an example Rick!
And last but most certainly not least (actually, running in second) - is Billy. His kids may be grown - but they could run a marriage and family/parenting conference and I would tell all my friends to go to it. He has taken me in as one of his own. Thanks for letting me be a part of your family.










Well, All the dads here - this is for you. Thanks for being a part of my life. As I await the day (and maybe never) that I get to be married - I hope he can sit down with all of you and learn some of what it means to be a Dad and a husband. Thanks for setting the bar really really high!

For the Dads

This is my Dad. He is a professional genealogist and is very good at it. He loves theology, college sports (b/c he doesn't like to watch people work in the pros), old-fashioned hymns, bluegrass, and listening to sermons on his iPod. This picture was taken the weekend before my seminary graduation when we took a trip up to DC and this was outside Mt. Vernon - George Washington's home. It was really pretty. I've learned the most about grace and provision from him.

This is Frank (and his beautiful wife Kasey and daughter Katelyn). This was taken when I had them over before Christmas. I don't get to see them that often. He loves taking pictures. If you live in this area and need pictures - you need him to take yours. They are wonderful! Get in touch with me and I'll get you in touch with him. He is a youth pastor over in Apex and loves the Bible.
This is David. He's the pastor of a church in Raleigh (where I'm going later today). He has three kids - Grace, Jake, and Maddie. LAst week as I was eating lunch with them at Bennigans - I learned that he loves monte christo sandwiches and playing golf with Jake. And they like Phil Mickelson - go the USOpen. He lets me come talk to him about once a year to figure out what is going on in my life, taught me a lot about missions and evangelism when he was one of my pastors at my old church, and really believes in me. I like it when people believe in what God has done in my life and is doing in my life.









One of the newer Dads - Brad. This is with Shep. I love how much he really cares for his son. Watching him hold him is so cool because you can see how much he loves him. Thanks Brad!













For the ones I don't have pictures of on my computer...

JD - my pastor (go here for cool pictures of his girls). One of the best things he loves doing in his life is being a Dad. He loves those girls and could talk a long time about them!
Bobby - (go here). One of the things I love most about the way Bobby is a Dad is he keeps his family as a priority. Most pastors I know put family low compared to other things, but the one thing I always remember about Bobby is how he always takes his day off, will take the girls to school, loves going on family vacations. You need to teach others how to do it!
Danny - the connections wonder. They are crammed busy as a family - but he loves those boys!