New Blog - Moved

I attached all my blogs to one! How exciting.

This Whole Life

All the blogs on here are on there. So, follow it, google feed it - do something to keep up to date!

Shepherded

A friend said to me last night, "Isn't it nice to be shepherded?"

YES - a resounding YES.

I haven't thought of the past few months - or even 2 years - in this term, but that is what has been happening in my life. I have had certain people come alongside me and encourage me, speak TRUTH into my life (exactly when I need it), care for me, spur me on, wish for me to succeed, pray for/with me, love me, and also realize that I'm stupid and listen to other voices.

Jesus talks a lot about sheep, and shepherds. I really liked this blog post from FL pastor, Timmy Brister: "Every one of Jesus’ sheep are safe and secure in the grip of the Good Shepherd who put the choke hold on death and crushed the head of the serpent."

I always need shepherding - but not everyone is a shepherd, and I'm not easily shepherded. There have been pastors in my life who have been shepherds, and I look forward to having 2 more. These pastors have also been friends of mine, and for that I am grateful.

Most of the time I need shepherding is when I listen to other things and am being stupid: and for me, that is most of the time fear of man - I listen to that dude a lot. But, when people come alongside me and remind me that life is not about man, or you - but ultimately it is about the gospel - that is what I need to hear. That is when I need to be shepherded.

But, also another aspect of a shepherd is the ability to love. I love being prized and delighted in. It is amazing that people would do that to/for me. It doesn't happen often. Its an odd thing: receiving love and/or praise. It is very hard for me to receive praise from just anyone - because I don't trust the sincerity of it. Most of the time words of praise have to be matched with action. But, being delighted in - just because of who you are and the gospel story that is on display in your life - that is amazing. When God brings someone into your life that delights in you - cherish it.

Being delighted in helps you to see the God in you, helps you to see the God in others, and increases your chance to succeed in ministry. Because, ultimately, again, its not about you - its about God. God living in you, God redeeming you, God shepherding you, God cherishing you, God loving the world, God shaping you, God refining you, God making you in right standing before Him, God being God.

Two verses on shepherding:

Psalm 100.3 - "Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, we are His. We are his people and the sheep of His pasture."

John 10.11, 27 - "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them; they follow me."

I am thankful for earthly shepherded who reflect the love of the Good Shepherd to me in their guidance, delighting, and shepherding.

Who is your earthly shepherd?

Valentine's Day 2010

This will go down as one of the best Valentine's Day EVER! God is so gracious to me and shows me HIS love in so many ways!

Actually, one of the best VDAY wknds EVER!

Friday: single red rose from my secret sister at work. Made my day and it smelled as only a rose can smell.

Saturday: bought some great new shoes, read about gospel-centered parenting, babysat for amazing kiddos and got some beautiful tulips and wonderful conversation with their parents after they returned from their date. Tulips are absolutively my favorite flower - to matter the color. This has to mean that Spring is on the way.

Sunday: got to hear 4 and 5 year old boys being taught about serving their sisters in Christ in Sunday School (by serving them their goldfish during snack time). Hung out with new friends from Louisianna for dinner and Sojourn 7pm. Pastor Daniel challenged us to give our BEST PRAISE to the amazing God! More on that coming on Wednesday in honor of Ash Wednesday.

And there is now a possibility of no school/work tomorrow because of 5-9 inches of snow coming over night. I love waking up to a white world. (But, I desparately want Spring to come quickly!)

I hope you had an amazing wknd too. God is love. May the Love of Christ compel us. And, as a 6 year old boy quoted this morning, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Birthday Musings

(The two pictures were of: a few days before my 32nd bday, and the bottom, yesterday).

Oh, birthdays. Here is it again. I never get concerned about the numbers getting larger, and never eat a whole bday cake to blow out the candles anymore, however, I do use this day as one for contemplation (and fun).

So, many of you say that the one thing you appreciate about me is my honesty, so here goes...

Starting with something good. Ending with something good.

1. God is so good to me. I just finished praying that as I read an email from a friend, wished in someways that my life was like hers, than very grateful that my life is the way God made it and designed for it to be at this moment.

"May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us." - Ps 67.1

2. Solo pictures. FB does this - I promise you! (and yes, I really do love facebook). And my pride does this as well. May God crush that. I hate solo shots. I went to lunch with 2 friends today for my bday and wanted a shot of me at Red Robin. why? To see how I looked. What did I find out - I look alone. My Mom wanted a picture of me for the mantle, my brother took several, they turned out well, but there I will be in a frame by myself. For senior pictures it was ok, but gone are the days of senior pictures.

3. Our bodies age. Ladies - wouldn't you have loved to be have been Eve (pre-fall)? I mean, come on...walking around naked for the joy of your husband without anything sagging, no gray hairs, no anything out of place, nothing sore, nothing on the mend, no wrinkles, no bags under the eyes, no chin hairs to pull out, no waxing to do. Oh, what joy that would have been. But, the fall. It happened. Eve had to eat. Now, we deal with all these things as we age. And going back to #2, I won't ever look "prime" for my husband (if God has chosen for me one). I was reminded of that this morning as I was getting ready. In the next 10 years (if the Lord tarries), my eyesight will get worse, I'll have more gray hair (or spend more money coloring it), will have to spend more on waxing (or become the freak woman at the fair with the beard) - (side note, woman, you all know what I'm talking about). Our bodies are not meant to last forever. This is the effect of sin on us. God has, though, redeemed our bodies and our souls. We are one. I have no clue what our bodies will look like in the afterlife, but I'm glad I won't have to have a pair of tweezers with me - or concealer.

4. I got a card in the mail from my parents (always signed by my mother, I know): "Parents do not realize when their daughter is a child, how fleeting the moments truly are. And in the blink of an eye the little girl who did pirouettes down the hall is dancing her way through her own life. What a joy it was then, what a joy it is now, what a joy it will always be - having you for a daughter!" Yes, I teared. I wonder though - yes, I know parents are supposed to say that, but then time at home is so different than it is here, we fuss, argue, communicate wrongly, have longings and expectations that aren't met. I want my parents to always say this of me: "Let your father and mother be glad, let her who bore you rejoice." Prov 23.25
5. Time is so fleeting. Things are fleeting. Like today - I was so looking forward to eating Red Robin with some friends. 59 fat grams and 740 calories later (I left off bun, mayo, and only ate half of the fries with my bacon cheeseburger) it was gone. Was life any better? No. I just felt yuck for eating all of it (the fries were amazing though). This day is fleeting. Things that I make for people are fleeting, all will rot. Why do I tend to place so much emphasis on things in life. People are more important. I think back to the last few hours I was in Lakeland this time. I wanted to run over (across the pasture) to see my grandparents on our way to Orlando. Christmas Day wasn't the best for family communication, so I wanted to at least end our time on a happy note. My granny was sitting there shelling pecans, my papa was in his chair reading the paper. I thought to myself, if something happens, I may never see my Papa alive again. To my knowledge he is not a believer (by his own testimony). I cry everytime I leave his sight, and even now as I am writing this. He is such an incredibly gracious man. He taught me to fish, drive a boat, pick grapes, clean a fish, make homemade french fries, and corned beef hash. All those are really important things - right? Not as important as knowing Jesus. The Preacher said a lot of it: "Vanity of vanities...all is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?" - Ecc 1.2,3 It is all vanity.

6. I finished Genesis this morning. In 4 days I've read from Creation to the end of Joseph's life. I actually liked reading it in this little amount of time because you don't forget things. I saw many similar topics in Genesis: blessing, presence, covenant, obedience, guidance. "When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces." Genesis 15.17 (If you don't know the story behind that verse I chose, please ask me, it was one that makes me cry every time I read it). You know what I remember...my God is very good to me. He created me to have a relationship with him, than...when I messed it up...He pursues me to continue that relationship. (I love the book of Hosea for this very reason.) He called out to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, their mothers, he cries out to me even now. I am so thankful that I have a God who created me in His image, loves me with an everlasting covenantal love, and will never forsake me - even when I am faithless. Praise be to God for another year.

7. And just to let you know - I'm really looking forward to this year. Its going to be amazing. God is so faithful to me. He is so incredibly gracious to me. I look forward to seeing fruit bear in my life from being in His presence. And God has given me gracious and wonderful friends, for whom I am very thankful. All for God's glory, right! "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." - James 1.17

2010 Goals (Not Resolutions)

Hello friends!
Since I have 2 other blogs (My State of Food and Interval Cardio) this one will primarily be on the spiritual/disciplines side of things. Last year I studied and thought much about biblical femininity. Though I didn't read as many books as I wanted to on the subject, I still thought tons about it. Here are two things I learned: if girls ever listened to themselve (in an out of body experience sorta way) they would change the way they talked (the ones i'm thinking of). I don't think half the time we think of what is coming out of our mouths, or the tone of what we say. Second: what is in your heart is definitely more telling of how feminine you are (biblical woman) then what you wear or do. The Word says that - what is in the heart is the truth. I have learned much of that this year as well.
God has been very good to me in 2009 and I look forward to 2010, many changes, more friendships, growth in some key areas.
Here are two verses that will guide me for 2010:
John 15.16-17 - "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another."
Jeremiah 15.16 - "Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joyand the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts."
Here are some of them:
1. B90x. Not P90x, but B90x. It is an intense 90 day reading plan of the whole Word of God. I started this morning, took about an hour to journal, pray, and read it aloud. Very good though. Just means I'll have to get up earlier. Which will have to be ok with me. That means I'll be done by March 31 - perfect timing. And then I want to journal through specific books and maybe do some more indepth study of some smaller books. Thank you Steven Furtick and Troy Temple.
2. Read. Yes, I want to read more. I am not a fast reader, that means I need to spend more time doing it. I want to read a couple different books each month: personal/ministry, biography, food/health, fiction or classic. That will definitely keep me changing things up. Each month I will tell you what is coming next and why I'm reading that book. Here is January (the link to them is on the side): Shepherding a Child's Heart (Tripp), Eat, Pray, Love (Gilbert), My Dearest Friend (Adams), Candy Freak (Almond). Sounds like good stuff for the month of January.
3. Improve scheduling discipline. I've been printing out free calendars and that has worked well in keeping me organized. And its cheaper than buying a dayplanner. But, I want to be more disciplined in my daily activity. Not spending as much time on fb, yahoo, google reader, watching tv (glad football season is almost over for this very reason). I want to make it a point to get up earlier (see #1), and just be aware of how I spend the waking hours of my day. For this reason, I am planning on spending 3 hours each week - one sitting - usually on a weekend or near weekend - in planning my next week. I look forward to that, especially as I go into a new phase of life here shortly and using a Bux giftcard I just got for my bday (thanks SC).
4. Budgeting. I come out of 2009 in better financial shape than I have been since about 2003. That is a very good thing. And I want to continue giving, testing God (Malachi 3), living in obedience, improving discretionary spending, and saving for some big ticket items. All of this is fleeting...
5. Improve the things I want to improve: photography, cooking, health, ministry. These things are important to me. If they are important - you want to keep working on them. God is good. i love these things that He blesses me with and I want to be good at them for His glory.

There you go. Thoughts? What are yours? Any encouragement? If you have made any goals or resolutions, then be diligent in keeping them. Don't give up so easily. Not much in life is worth the fuss if it doesn't take work. Happy New Year

First Decade of the New Millenia (Recap)

I don't know if you are one of those people who think 2010 is the beginning of a new decade or that last of the old...nor do I really care (because who really is right?)...
Anyway...I wanted to give you a quick(maybe) recap of the last decade of my life. God has been extremely gracious to me - through trials, blessings, and many moves. Here we go:
1. Started off the year in the world's best beach city. Finishing up being on staff for 2 years at Anastasia Baptist Church. I loved this place, and could have stayed forever - but then the rest of this post would be non-existent. I left shortly after the new year and turning 23 to go to Wake Forest, NC. Leaving mentors, friends, home, Florida sunshine.
2. That first semester was rough: family struggles, weight struggles, new place, new state. I loved seminary and started even then to form crucial relationships. I worked that summer at Centrifuge at Union University (still friends with some people I worked with) and knowing how small of a world it is. I currently work with a guy who is the President's son of Union University, who was a teenager then when the Fuge staff went to their house for a bbq. Fun!
3. Rest of seminary: working my way up through the ranks. I worked keeping score for the intramural football and basketball. Key relationships: the Whites, Ashfords and Greaars, the Hiltons, and Jr. Loved it. Then I worked in the mail room, gym, a VPs office, then another VPs office for a f/t job. I was on student leadership team where I hung out with great guys and got to meet John Piper for the first time. I sang with some great girls and still have a friendship with them. I loved my classes: Nelson, Coley, Reid, Little, Schemm - just some of my faves. Graduated. Had a job at the seminary. Good stuff.
3. Didn't like that job very much...too monotonous, though I worked with some great people. So, the last day of that job, a dude called me from the Summit offering me a p/t job. Didn't pay much, but it was a job. I took it. Then I took another p/t job - my first yeat at Williams-Sonoma, continuing my love affair with cooking.
4. The next two years were hard in the money earning world - but phenomenal in the ministry years. I started going to the Summit in Durham and worked in the college ministry mostly. I had some amazing girls who are still very much a part of my life today. LOVED IT.
4b. Relationships: life is hard with them and hard without them. But, I need to read Tripp's book Relationships: a Mess Worth Making. I have dated a few guys since 2000. First one was confusing, second wasn't healthy at all, third was long and drawn out and very hard, 2 one-daters were not worth making it a 2nd (just because I knew I wasn't going to marry them), and the last was a distance thing and was not worth pursuing anymore. I prayed to God at the end of the long drawn out one that I wouldn't date another guy (seriously) unless He was the one I was to marry. God has faithfully answered that prayer. I have had 3 dates since 2002. That is entirely painful too - for a single woman of almost 33. But, I love the faithfulness and nearness of God.
5. At the end of my time in Durham, I had lost all the weight again, had emergency gallbladder surgery, major mouth work done, and was moving back home to work on finances. Two years of hardly making any money will take its toll on the credit. But, God was gracious even in that.
6. 6 months after being home in Lakeland...I got a call from the President of CBMW and he was offering me a job. 10 days later I moved to a city I had only been to once and knew only 2 families who lived here. The last 2.5 years of my life have been amazing times of friendship and growth for me. The thing I have learned most is that the body of Christ is bigger than the 4 walls of the church. My friends in Raleigh and St. Augustine still have such a major influence in my life and I am thankful for them. I am thankful for the profs and co-workers I have at SBTS.
7. Missions and Ministry: I have spoken for many women's events throughout many states as God has provided those opportunities, and I look forward to doing more in the future. I have worked youth camps and disciple nows. I have been on 5 mission trips: 2 to NYC, Alaska, Thailand, and Indonesia. Amazing times in my life.
8. 2010 will start off a new decade and soon will be a new era in my life. I am looking so forward to the changes that 2010 will bring. All with this in mind: God is still God and He remains the same.
Blessings to you in 2010. Goals are coming tomorrow for the New Year.

The Faithfulness of God over a Plate of Wimpy Spinach

Earlier tonight, I wrote this post over at the Food Blog. Pretty depressing I know.
But, thankful to my Community Group from my church, I got to hear a replay of the OT - and I started writing.
Sojourn has been going through the OT on Sundays - and we are quickly coming to an end. It has been great to see and hear every week what God has been up to and see how it all points to Christ and the Gospel!
Today, I was listening to a sermon by David Michael, who is one of the pastors at Bethlehem in Minneapolis - he said they want to point children to God, not morality that is found, not the bravery and courage of Esther, or the strength of David - but the God who led them, who made them, etc.
Tonight, as I heard people go around and talk about each book of the OT - I was reminded of the faithfulness of God. Whenever I am:
- depressed because it is cold and dark outside
- sinful and not faithful to living out the Word
- listening to my emotions and not trusting in the unchanging Word of God
- focusing on other things other than Christ for my identity
- lonely
- focusing on what I don't have rather than all the abundant things I do have
- eating just to eat
- not preaching the Gospel to myself - yet I am listening to myself
- doing so many other things and not reading the Word
- tired and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and go to sleep...

GOD IS FAITHFUL!
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,“therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

As one of the dudes in my CG prayed right before hand: "Thank you for your patience and your work in me." And for that - it makes up for a lonely dinner. God is so much bigger than a wimpy plate of spinach topped with ketchup!

The Bible and Yogurt (Guest Post)

This is a guest post by one of my wonderful girls (and friends) from UNC. Meredith is great - artistic, loving, creative, real. I do miss her. Maybe since her family now lives in the same city as me, I will get to see her more and maybe enjoy a breakfast or two together! I do have some pictures of us together, but I think this picture captured of who Meredith is: her love of cold weather (she used to live in CO), her love of outdoors, and her fun hair that I've always loved!

I hope that those of you reading this will be encouraged tonight. For me, this evening was one of those times when I was so tired from my day that after reading chapter 1 of Ephesians, I couldn't even remember what I had read.

I am a perfectionist, and therefore, I expect my devotions to be perfect; meaning I will have life-altering mountaintop revelational moments daily. But then I have nights like tonight, when I don't feel anything except how my eyelids are trying to close.

I was brushing my teeth feeling discouraged (that's one feeling I know well as a perfectionist!), when I remembered Hebrews 4:12 - "the word of God is living and active."

And here is where yogurt comes in. Yes, this is an analogy comparing the Bible to yogurt. As weird as it sounds, though, God has truly encouraged me with this! You know how you can buy yogurt with "live active yogurt cultures" in it? Well, often when I'm eating yogurt in which there are actually living organisms such as Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus, I think about how these little organisms are running around inside me, doing good stuff that I can't feel!

I think it's the same with God's word; regardless of what we feel, His Word is living in us; it is at work. Reading the Bible is analagous to ingesting live active yogurt cultures in a sense; perhaps it seems as mundane as eating Yoplait one day, or even most days. Perhaps it seems we haven't achieved anything meaningful in our devotions. But we have - Hebrews 4:12 tells us we have.

I trust the seal of the National Yogurt Association that tells me Lacto and Strepto are diddling around in my tummy. (Did you even know there was such a thing as the National Yogurt Association!?) So, do I trust that I have been sealed by the Holy Spirit and that this seal assures me Christ will complete the work he started in me? And He will do this regardless of how "well" I read my Bible tonight. He will do this regardless of and because of the physical and mental limitations of being a human.

I'm going to bed encouraged tonight, and I hope that you are, too, especially if you share this frustration. And in closing, the major flaw in my analogy is that yogurt cultures are potentially beneficial, but the word of God always is.

Thank you Meredith. Enjoy your live active cultures!

Every Wind of Infatuation

The title of this came from a blurb I heard in chapel this morning. Don't worry - I'm not a poet, this just got jotted down on paper:

Soul wanders.
Soul wonders.
Searching stars.
Searching cravings.
Static haunts.
Static joys.
Seeking direction.
Seeking meaning.

Soul found.
Soul happy.
Searching long.
Searching eternity.
Surrendered heart.
Surrendered calling.
Satiated.
You.

Catch up on my world...

Sorry for the lack of posts on this particular blog. I don't post many pics here anymore because most people use facebook for that. I've tried to keep this blog for truly what it set out to be - a place for my thoughts on the Word. So, here you go.
1. Reading. I do love to do it. Currently, I am spending most of my time reading books about women in missions (for a blog I am working on) and also Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers - for the upteenth time. I LOVE that book. It is my bed time reading. Find much of her in myself and love the modernized story of the book of Hosea.
2. I am slowly reading through Colossians from the J B Phillips version of the Bible. I got this Bible from Brad Layland back in 97 when I started working with him at Young Life - great boss. I love this Bible. I love the inscription on it. He was such an influence in my life. Thank you Brad! Colossians is one of those books that no matter how many times I read it - I learn something more each time, wondering where that came from and how come I never saw that before. I am thankful for the continuing working of the Holy Spirit through the writings of Scripture.
3. I am trying to plug in to Sojourn - my church here in Louisville. I am grateful for a church who's passion is the Word, the community. There you go. The force driving both of those things is the Gospel. Sojourn is not about great music (which they have) or great preaching (which they have) or great art (which they have), its about the Gospel.
4. This week is my 2 year anniversary of being in Louisville. I absolutely love the men of God that I work for. They are men who encourage me, pray for me, lead me, show me what it is to be real, humble, leaders of their wives and children, etc. I love their passion for the gospel and the ministry of the local church. I love how they care about their family and spend time with their children. I love their love for their students - and how they succeed. How refreshing this is. I am grateful for my job and for the professors in my life.
5. Thinking about gluttony vs indulgence. When does indulgence become a sin? Why don't more pastors or leaders preach on the sin of gluttony? Thank you JD for such a powerful sermon on this topic many years ago.
6. Learning to say no. I am learning that I am a person of scheduling, and I am learning how to say no to things so I have time for myself. I love meeting with girls and others but I also know that if I don't have any downtime during the week, life is not pretty.
7. God is so gracious and forgiving. I am not. I am very selfishly motivated in things I do. I am very critical and like to give my opinion. I need to shut up more and grow in wisdom. Would I be considered a person of wisdom? Am I faithful in all things? These passages of women (1 Pet 3, 1 Tim 3, Titus 2, Eph 5) always convict me when I read or study them again. Again, thankful for the Word and the Cross.
8. I am learning I do not like to pray aloud. I like to pray - I pray throughout the day. The other day I was praying for my brother and thought to myself I do not know how to pray in this situation. The Holy Spirit interceeded and I am grateful for that. But, prayer is so intimate, and even when I have a good relationship with the person in whose company I am in, I still don't like to pray aloud. Scripture commands us to in certain situations, but I am definitely more of a prayer journaler or silent pray-er.
9. Discipling the younger generations. This is still my heart. As I see so many areas this younger generation needs help with (many areas I still need help with) I am on the look out for opportunities to serve them, teach them, pour into their lives.
10. Thankful for people who want to be my friend. Not because I offer them something or bring something to the table, but just because. These girls all love me, and all bring out some sort of mercy and grace in my life. Some can call me out on sin more than others. Some add depth to my life. Thankful.
11. I love using this period of my life to travel, enjoy the US, enjoy riding in my car, blessing others with my cooking, having people in my home, pouring into other girls' lives, honing my homemaking skills, enjoying some quiet time with the Lord, watching football, being convicted of sin. Its a good time. We'll see what the next year brings - who knows? That is why I love serving a big God - you never know what He is going to do in your life.

4th of July Wknd

I spent the 4th in Indiana chilling at a friend's apt because they were out of town and I got to go up there. I was so thankful for that. What a great time of chilling in the Word, reading various chapters from various books, relaxing, cooking good food, etc. As I've been reading others' blogs this morning - I'll post in bullet format - because sometimes its just easier!

* It was nice to sleep past 7am each morning. I got up at 945 on Saturday and 915 on Sunday morning. It was still quiet with no delivery trucks or garbage trucks or lawn mowers or air conditioners or cars that need new mufflers. I was very thankful for that!

* Steak and smores and black bean burritos. This is pretty much what I had for my 4th food. I made a great pot of black/pinto/kidney beans with lime and garlic. Yummy on burritoes with some pepperjack cheese. I grilled ribeye for dinner on the 4th and had an indoor homemade smore! I've been craving one and it was so yummy and delicious with gooey-goodness!

* I spent my time in the Word this wknd in Ps 143-147 - journaling through it, singing, thinking through what God was saying to me. Its been good to be going through the OT at church, thinking about all the idols. God was pointing me to things that I had placed my hope in - things other than Him. But, he kept pulling me back to how happy and blessed are those whose hope is completely in HIM. God is gracious to me.

* I so am an introvert. Most people really don't believe that. But, I spent 48 hours this wknd not seeing a single person. My only contact with the outside world was the occasional text msg and Food Network. I LOVED it. I just didn't really want to return. I told my neighbor when I got back from church that I had to get used to talking to people again. It was so nice to be quiet and alone for 48 hours!

* Books written by Elyse Fitzpatrick, Paul David Tripp, and Ed Welch need to be read by everyone! I love these authors. Paul David Tripp is doing a conference in August at Sojourn. Hopefully I'll get to go to one of the evening sessions on his new book (can't wait to read, but have no money to buy books right now). I heard Elyse Fitzpatrick last spring on her new book. Ed Welch is just used mightily to convict. All of these authors are. Counselors who rely on the Word as their means of change - good stuff!

* It was a cool wknd. I was very thankful to be in a house where I didn't need the ac and I wasn't sweating. Thankful for the rain and the low 70s temps. Quite a change.

* Carpet! I loved it. I loved sitting on the floor and being comfortable. I like hardwood floors, but I love carpet! Why? Because I love to sit on the floor.

June snapshot...

This is going to be a blog post full of random things. I haven't been posting in a while on this blog, so I thought I would catch you up on life in one blog entry.
1. SBC 2009. I did post my thoughts from here. I thought in the end it was a very encouraging convention. I like Danny Akin's thoughts on it (and Acts29) here.
2. Exercising. I still need to lose some weight, but a lifestyle change is what is needed. I've done better at that this year. So, God has been good and faithful in allowing me to be obedient.
3. Fruit picking. I've already done my fair share of berry picking this season - with at least one more Saturday set aside for this fun activity in Southern Indiana. I've picked strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, black raspberries. Next to pick peaches, tomatoes, blackberries and blueberries. So yummy!
4. Work. Going very well. Summer is slow, but we are heading into a big transition. We just had the 150th anniversary of SBTS. Our guys did a great job getting everything ready and our campus is very beautiful right now.
5. Foot. A few years ago I started to notice a pain under my pinky toe of my left foot when exercising. Well, i'm finally going to do something about it. I have an appt set for July 15 to get it looked it. If surgery is needed, hopefully I can get it scheduled for when my parents will be in town in October (after race season, just in time for winter, before Spring running starts).
6. Books. I'm learning that some people are just GREAT writers. I love the description ability of Charlotte Bronte'. I'm reading Jane Eyre. I feel like I am sitting down with Jane and we are sipping tea and she is just chatting away. Her characters are so life-like. I'm also reading some for blog-material: John and Abigail Adams' letters and 7 Hardest Thing God Asks a Woman to Do. We'll see. And I'm reading one for fun - Alone in the Kitchen With an Eggplant - hilarious, some choice vocabulary, cynicism, sarcasm, some recipes. My brother is a good writer as well - especially about Florida.
7. Summer. It has been hot. I do not have air conditioning. I walk once it gets cooler. I try not to use my oven as much. God is good by having a reprieve of the heat this week - its only in the mid 80s.
8. July 4. This weekend i'll be in IN celebrating the 4th by taking a personal retreat with me and God and a pen, bible, and paper. I'm looking forward to the quiet, a/c, hanging out prayer time to seek some answers, grow in my willingness to be open and vulnerable, and be away from fb, texting, tv, computer for 48 whole hours!
9. Sojourn. I love my new church. We are seeking to start a new site here in the area of Louisville in which I live. Looking to start in August (I'll be gone the whole month however). Excited. Also, I'm loving the sermons. Continuing in the BC (OT) series. Good stuff. And they just put out a new CD - click the Sojourn link on the right.
10. Friends. I love my friends. I loved catching up with many around the SBC last week. I love how friends are moving and going to different parts of the country/world. I love friends who I can be real with and who still love me. I'm thankful for the WHOLE Body of Christ and how we can celebrate what God is doing in our lives - and have accountability with those people. God is good.

Well, that is just a brief snapshot. Enjoy

The SBC 2009

Well, here goes. These are my thoughts and not anyone else's.
Psalm 138: this was my reading this morning. I love how perfect it is for this time and place:
I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart; before the gods I sing your praise; I bow down toward your holy temple and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased. All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord, for they have heard the words of your mouth, and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord, for great is the glory of the Lord. For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly, but the haughty he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

1. Pastor's Conference - the ones I heard - rocked! JD Greear, although a sermon I've heard before - was very worth a repeat in this crowd for this purpose. I am very glad to call him my friend and pastor. David Platt - AMAZING! Simply a humble man of God who preaches the Word (knows that is more important) and calls us to Biblical action and love and missions and living out the gospel. I love his church, I love Secret Church, well worth the 6 hour drive from Louisville. Doc Reid - thankful for this man who loves Jesus and loves people. He practices what he preaches. I loved hearing him in class and learning from him because His love for the gospel is so evident.

2. Friends. I've seen many this week. Not all that I have wanted to see. But, many. Former pastors, friends from SEBTS, SWBTS, SBTS. This is the best part about the SBC to me - seeing people who get together once a year - like a reunion.

3. Men of God who stand for Truth. Men like Dr. Mohler, Mark Dever, David Platt, JD Greear, Doc Reid, Dr. Moore, Tom Ascol, Dr. Akin, Nathan Finn. These and many more. When people get up to ridicule them, blame the problems on things that aren't really the problems, little divisive things that don't mean squat...these men rise above it - stand for Biblical truth - and call us to action. May the future of the SBC be first - led by Christ and His love - and second, in human terms - be lead by these men - who love Jesus, the Gospel, the Word, the local church, and the World.

4. Repentance for my attitude. In all of these little nitpicky things that came up yesterday - my attitude stunk about them. I was mad at these things that people call the important things and really are just divisive. My attitude of haughtiness and pride and anger and cynicism was no better than their divisiveness. Jesus - thank you for the Cross that covers my sin and change my heart Lord Jesus to reflect you even in moments like these.

5. There is still more to come today. 150 years of SBTS - being a hostess to the many who will come on campus today. Thankful for men (and their teams) like Dan Dumas and Jeff Dalrymple who have made sure everything goes great today. Another full day at the Convention. David Platt preaching again - can't wait to tune in at 10am for that. But, the most important thing happened yesterday. The GCR passed with a 95-5% vote in favor. I just stuck my fist in the air. I was so excited. Now - the next year - Johnny Hunt will appoint a taskforce to look at some things. Will this bring change to the SBC - yes! Is change needed - most decidedly. Just like in the 80s - before I was in a SBC church - men like Paul Pressler and Paige Patterson stood for the inerrancy of Scripture and the conservative resurgence. Thankful for these men and the men who will lead us for the next odd many years.

6. Thankful for the gospel. Thankful for the SBs of Texas who gave 100k to the IMB yesterday. Thankful that hopefully many more of my friends who want to be SB missionaries will get the chance to because of the changes that will come over the next couple of years. The gospel will go further.

7. Thankful for one young dude from Plano, TX who said "we young Southern Baptists want to live for something bigger than ourselves - and we want to live for something bigger, better, and greater than the SBC." The SBC may go away tomorrow - but the gospel, Jesus, God's Word, and the name of the JESUS CHRIST will never fade away. God is making His glory known - may I be a part of that - and never cause it harm - only by the Grace of God!

Really?

Must have seriously woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. I'll first go with my day so far then I'll go to what I read this morning in the next post - thoughtful thursday.
Finally quit hitting the snooze at 6.51. I didn't sleep well. I think it was an odd temperature in the house, wasn't extremely tired when I went to bed at 10, woke up at 10:53 to answer a text, woke up at 3 to hear the garbage truck making its glorious entrance into our parking lot space, then finally just got up.
The scale went up .2 and I've been doing the same thing I've been doing the last three weeks when I've been losing on average 2 lbs a week. What's the scoop? But my clothes are fitting better - uck!
My Bible that I read my QTs out of was at the office so I didn't do my full quiet time, just read some in Elyse Fitzpatrick. Bemoaned the fact that I had gained .2. Contemplated a meeting I was having today and what I wanted to ask. Really caring about the lack of discipline in some areas, but things that were great in life as well.
Don't want to have a bad attitude about other things either - weight, being single, fact that people get engaged so young and only having known each other less than 6 months, I mean come on. Or the fact that others are so much better at things than me, or have more skills, or run faster, or bake better, or look better, or lose weight faster...or that fact that no one wants to marry me, or the fact that I'm not "gentle and quiet" enough or...the list could go on. I'm just not good enough. or that fact that life is such a daily struggle sometimes.
Ok - enough of my wrong side of the bed. Jesus is still on his throne - the tomb is empty.
Now, to the Thoughtful Thursday in the next one. This is why I have and am in desparate need of a Savior!

Thoughts on Discipline

I tend to think about things that I struggle with. Most people do - I guess some sort of block it out so they don't have to think about ways they fail - but not me.
If I never think about it - I'll never get better at it. So...
Discipline is usually talked about in Scripture as a type of rebuke, exhortation, or reshaping by God in us for His glory. I've been experiencing some of that - but that is not what I am referring to.
As spring comes, things are new - flowers budding, dogwood trees in their white fluffiness - I want some things in my life to start taking shape as well. I'm not the best when it comes to home management and life management. So, I would love some thoughts from blog world:
1. Weekly home management (cleaning, money, menu, cooking)
2. Time schedule - on a weekly basis. I realize I waste too much time on a normal basis - everywhere.
3. Reading and time in the Word and the practicing of other Spiritual Disciplines
4. Practicing of hospitality
5. Being "in the world" in order to build relationships with non-Christians (because I happen to disagree with Brian McLaren when he says that we don't have to tell others there way of no Jesus is wrong). Anyway, I digress...
6. Exercising and eating right - yes, I do need help in this area to be more disciplined.

So, I would love thoughts. This is what the Body is for - right?

5k and Hebrews 12

All those youth Bible studies or DNOW materials I have taught in the past on endurance, or races, or running - all came to light today.
Today was my first 5k - I did the Anthem 5k here in Louisville, which is the first leg of the Louisville Triple Crown. Sarah and I ran it together. We both wanted to beat our times - we both did.
I wanted to get under 40, and Sarah under 44 - we both stayed together the entire race, pushing each other to keep going (endurance, spurring each other on, encouragement, accountability) and we both made it under 39. They haven't posted the exact times yet - but they will be coming hopefully by the end of the night.
The last 3/4 of a mile or so was straight - but still we couldn't see the finish line. As soon as we did - we were like "we gotta finish strong" - just keep looking at the finish line and keep going.
My playlist was 39.56 or something like that. The last song was "Let the Worshippers Arise" - never would have thought it would have meant so much. Here are the words - I actually got to shut it off before it was finished...
Father I hear it growing louder
The song of your redeemed
As the saints of every nation
Are awakening to sing
From our hearts there comes an anthem
Oh, hear the heavens ring
This is our song, a song to our King!
[Chorus:] [3x]
Let the worshippers arise
Let the sons and the daughters sing
I surrender in my all
I surrender to the King

There were people, folks who came to cheer, runners who had already finished, press, sponsors, etc - all standing on the sideline cheering for those of us who were still running - crossing that finish line. The Scripture that popped into both of our heads (sarah and I talked while getting our bagels):

Heb 12.1-6 (really only the first 2, but then I loved the continuing verses, exactly what God is pressing in on me lately...)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and chastises every son whom he receives.”

I am now definitely looking forward to the Half Derby I am doing on April 25. Racing can be addictive! I guarantee

Acts and Community

I've now lived in Louisville about 17 months. There have been more natural emergencies here then I've ever been through living in FL or NC. Now, that may say something for the preparedness of FL and NC for these natural emergencies, but still. High heat (well over 100 for days), earthquakes, Ike, blizzard, ice storm...all these things.
What I have learned here is this. Community is so strong here in Louisville. I've had many offers of places to stay, food, space heaters, parties, sledding excursions, prayers, etc - all during this time of the ice and snow. I've had people offer me their empty apt for a warm shower and a place to sleep. I've been offered futons in a warm apt. I've been offered places just to go and hang out if I get bored of being in the cold.
Just to say what I am thankful for before I go any further: I am thankful for my little space heater from the housing office. I am thankful for an electric oven so I can warm my kitchen and cook food. I'm thankful that I still have power. I am thankful that I was able to take a hot shower moments ago. I am thankful for friends who have Extra Strength Tylenol and money for a Sprite while I was running check in for the boyce girls yesterday. I'm thankful for people who are making these decisions at Southern re: housing, work, staffing, food, etc. God has blessed me with so much - so even if my hands are cold - that is not complaining, just stating the obviouos.
But, back to community. Southern and my friends here in Louisville live out Acts 2.44-45. As Paul said about the early church - I say about my community around me and the people in other states who I know who are praying for the people here. There are still about 200k without power and heat, temps under 30, more snow on the way tentative for Sunday night.
And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.

Sometimes I wish...

Do you ever wish your life was different than what it was? I do...(but on the REALity side, I know God is sovereign over all and my life is just how he wants it to be).

These are some things I sometimes wish for:
1. That I lived on a farm (really, chickens, fresh milk, cream, etc - how cool would that be) - but then I wouldn't want to get up at 4am like my cousins all my life.
2. That I had some grass of my own to plant a garden. Like my friends Joy, Bobby, my parents, my cousins in AL, the Joneses, and many more - I wish I had just a little - maybe just to start out with tomatoes and basil. Yummy!
3. I wish I had countless money - not to have it - but to buy groceries with, to have people over all the time, to give to missions so (right now) my brother and sister in law could go to Cameroon having met their monthly goal.
4. I wish I didn't have to work. I LOVE MY JOB and am VERY THANKFUL FOR IT. But, I wish there was a way that I didn't have to work: so I could go on mission trips whenever I wanted, that I could put more time and energy into the Word, my study of it, reading, cooking, home stuff, running, personal care, friends, coffee dates, traveling, etc.
5. I wish I were married. That is enough said in that.
6. I wish I were skinnier (but I am working on that).
7. I wish I could sing better than I do, and write better, and run better, and cook better, and love people better...(I think I can work on almost all of those).
8. I wish I had a jet plane (and a pilot's license, and all the money for upkeep), so I could fly and travel all over the place. Like going with my friend Maggie or Janel to one of their many trips to NYC, or just hop down to central FL for family dinners or St. Aug for youth events, or to NC to watch big games with friends there or for births of precious babies!
9. I wish I had the patience of my father and the creativeness of my mother.

Those are it for today. But, I am thankful for my life, my friends, the gifts that God has given me, and the work of sanctification in my life - and the promise that He fulfills all of our needs and grants us the desires of our hearts.

Borrowed from Touchstone: Blog Decalogue

One of the privileges I have for working for my boss is that I get to peruse many magazines that come across my desk. Touchstone came today. I found this interesting small article in it - I am highlighting from that list. (Found in Touchstone, January February 2009, page 7)

Blog Decalogue: (sort of a list of etiquette for bloggers)
1. You shall not put your blog before your integrity. This is very important. The Proverbs say many times about a good name - how that should be wanted. So many write things on their blogs, or send emails of jokes that aren't appropriate, or the whatnot, that would lead me to believe they are not the people of integrity I thought them to be. I may have inadvertently done the same. If I do, please bring it my attention - I'll remedy the occasion.
2. You shall not make an idol of your blog. I was talking to a friend about this. My question was how in the world do some people have 10k views and they've only been up a short time. I've had mine for almost 4 years now and don't have 1/3 of that. But, you know - how many views I have is not important. I use mine for the reasons I use mine. If God wants to use it for something else - so be it.
3. You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin. If you are going to leave a comment - own up to it at least.
4. Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog. I don't have this problem - but maybe I should consider this for facebook and email as well.
5. Honor your fellow bloggers above yourself, and do not give undue significance to their mistakes. Humility. Selflessness.
6. You shall not murder someone else's honor, reputation, or feelings. This one is probably the hardest for me - even in what I read. Most blogs are for opinions - and how do you share feelings and opinions w/o hurting someone else's?
7. You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind. Wow - another sin that permeates our culture. And you know - it isn't just a problem men struggle with - women struggle with it too. I heard once from a professor that married men struggle with this more than single men. Reason: once you are married you can have sex, but maybe you don't get it as much as you want. Single - its just off limits, so you come to live within those limits. I don't know if I whole heartedly agree.
8. You shall not steal another person's content. Plagiarizing is such a problem. This content is borrowed but I am siting my source. I am giving them credit. None of it is my own. If you are going to borrow or link to other websites - please tell people where you got the information from, don't use this as a way to dishonestly promote yourself.
9. You shall not give false testimony against your fellow blogger. This is the opposite of the above. Don't tell people you read something on so and so's blog if it is not true. I've met a couple of bloggers and they have lived up to their blog. Integrity is very important (see #1).
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's blog ranking; be content with your own content. Somewhat similar to #2. God has given us all gifts and abilities. He will use them for His glory.

If you have a blog - how will you use these ten "tips"?

Mastercuts Learning

No, I haven't picked up the idea to learn cosmetology. Yesterday, however, I knew it was time to go. No, I have still have to wait a bit to get my hair cut so I can then make it till May when I go to NC. But, I needed to get other grooming done, so I went there.
Sticking with my femininity (of the world, biblical) theme this year...I told the lady waxing my eyebrows that my face felt more feminine when she was done because it was nice, clean, and groomed. I loved it. I felt clean and trimmed. More feminine...(more later).
The lady next to me was getting her hair washed. Hairdressers are often known to be loud and gossip-y. This one was no different. I don't know who she was or even what she looked like (I had my eyes closed). But, she needed Jesus. She was harboring anger and resentment to her son's father and current live-in girlfriend. She kept saying she would never forgive him, bad mouthing him and her. I was just praying to myself that she would see her need for Jesus, come to be able to live an Acts 3.19 life, share her story as a hairdresser with all those people who sit in her chair (like Casey and Kathleen). Lord - whoever she is - heal her heart.
But, ok - back to the feminine. I've been in a funk the last week or so. Just kinda been heart-hurt, critical, eager for things to get back to normal, have that "spunk" back. So many things are going right. I am reading in the Word every night, focusing on grace, but just the attitude hasn't quite been readable on my face. I want to learn to live grace on my face and in my heart (giving, warm, a blessing spirit not a critical spirit) even when things aren't going right. When my heart is hurting. When life is tough. When things don't always go my way. God's ways are so much better!
Anyway...again - keeping thinking about the Word, grace, femininity, selflessness (oh, which I so need work on Jesus).
Thankful for: We sang this song last week at Sojourn and this week at Crossing (an old hymn which I love):

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
Refrain:On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Oh, how perfect timing this hymn the past two weeks in churches gathered.