I had the privilege of hearing my boss speak at Gilead Baptist Church this past Sunday night. Gilead is starting a Gilead U on marriage (in the spring) and parenting (in the fall). It is to help their church see the importance of these two relationships, how they influence the church (and vice versa) and how the gospel has to be applied to both.
Dr. Stinson, who is the Dean of the School of Church Ministries for The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and President of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, spoke on this topic to kickoff the semester. It is always a pleasure for me to hear him speak because I know what he is saying is practiced in his own home, and I laugh the whole time. Also, I am convicted by what he says and can apply it to my life now - even though I am neither married or a parent.
(Italics are his, regular type is mine).
He started at the beginning - Gen 3.14-15. A Declaration of War! Cursing and enmity. Right there - from the very beginning, Satan has plans to attack the marriage. This war centers on the home. Through the family (conception, children), Satan's destroyer will come. (Jesus is born of a virgin Mary. You can trace his lineage by reading the first chapter of the gospel of Matthew)
You can see this all around. Divorce rate (even within the church, among Christians), in the tabloids at the check out counter, marriages failing, unfaithfulness on the rise, cohabitation so rampant among young adults, delay in marriage.
Satan wants us to get comfortable and not realize that we are at war in our homes. If we let things slide, tempers flare, complacency dominate, Scriptures and family worship fade away - then we are setting ourselves and our marriages up for defeat.
Malachi 4.6 talks about the work of Elijah the prophet in "turning the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers." Stinson remarked that one of the ways Satan wages war on families and the home is that the father's hearts on not turned toward home, their children. They are turned toward work, business, succeeding, and other personal interests.
Ephesians 5. This passage is central to the cosmic interaction. It is not primarily about submission and authority. It is about the gospel. Because of the fall, there will be no more harmonious marriages and argument free families. Dave Harvey wrote a book entitled When Sinners Say I Do if you need to read up on this topic - great book. Ephesians 5 paints a picture of Christ and the church. Marriage is just the picture. Since Satan hates the gospel more than anything, he wants desperately to destroy marriages. You and your marriage are targets.
If you care deeply about the picture Ephesians 5 paints, its not about who mows the lawn or pays the bills, it is about the gospel.
If you love the gospel more than everything else, all else will pale. How will you portray the gospel authentically in your marriage and in your home?
Several times a day we are reminded of our dependence upon God. When we eat, we are reminded that we have to eat - God doesn't. When we get thirsty, we are reminded that God never gets thirsty, but send us the Living Water.
Paul says no one hates his own flesh (Eph 5.29). Yet, why don't we treat out spouse that way? We are so often consumed with ourselves, when we should be consumed with others...namely, our spouse. You wake up every day loving yourself. Love the gospel so this (other's focused, loving your spouse) becomes second nature. Many decisions we make are for ourselves. We are self-centered, not gospel-centered.
What if God's greatest goal in your marriage was not to make you happy? What if the bigger picture is your sanctification and portraying the gospel? I think quite a lot about this, even though I'm not married. I think about my pickiness in a future mate, even those whom I will accept dates from? I want the gospel to be revealed daily in my marriage. If that can't happen, I don't want to be married. I do want someone I'm attracted to, because God did create sex and didn't intend for it to be a chore, but more than anything else, I want a God-glorifying marriage. Embrace this function for your marriage, namely sanctification, instead of praying and longing for a way out.
You don't need to question the will of God for your marriage. If you are in a marriage, that's it. Don't worry about if you are married to the wrong person, or made a mistake. God means for your marriage to stay pure and strong. And to the same extent that God loves the Gospel (He sent His Son) and loves your marriage (He created the institution of marriage), Satan hates it. How can you go home - right now - and bless your wife (or husband)? We care more about ourselves than we do about the gospel and our spouse? What needs to change in your life so you care more about your marriage and the gospel then yourself?
The Harris brothers wrote a book for (mostly) teenagers entitled Do Hard Things a few years ago. It was calling teenagers to not take the easy road, but to pursue hard things, excel at what they do, press on. Dr. Stinson said another great title for a book would be "Do Little Things". So often we fail in doing the little things in life. This is a biblical concept - be faithful in the little things (Luke 16.10).
Sanctification: I don't know what God's will for your life is - but I know it is sanctification. Since He loves His Son preeminently, you can bet you becoming like His Son is a first priority.
Many will say "my wife (husband, job, traffic, kids) make me impatience (angry, selfish). No, these things don't make you ________, it just reveals that you are _______. So, if you get impatient with your husband because he fails to take the garbage out when you ask him to, then its not him that makes you that way, the situation reveals that your heart is full of impatience and full of self. Matthew 15 says this very thing: "what comes out of the mouth defiles a person." What comes out of the mouth reveals the state of the heart. You do the right thing - don't be concerned with the response of your spouse. You do right. Start with correcting your heart and yourself. A saying my Mom always says is you can never control what others will do, just your response to the situation.
Forgiveness is key element of a healthy marriage:
1. Ask for it.
2. Create a climate for it.
3. Remember, you are clothed in Christ's righteousness, not your own.
4. This is a lifestyle, not an emergency valve.
5. Reconciliation is key - not separation, subversion, or undermining.
The question I left asking myself is this: What would help me picture the gospel the best? Would it be to get married? Would it be to stay single? What it be to be faithful in the things that God has called me to: to love people, disciple girls, write, be a homemaker, take care of myself, be a good steward? I think I'll choose to be faithful where He has me, and have faith that He will take me where He wants me.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Thursday, July 23, 2009
With One Voice - Alex Chediak
This book isn't a new release, but this is the first time I've had opportunity to pick it up and read it. This is a great "what to do now" book. With One Voice: Singleness, Dating & Marriage to the Glory of God is a very practical, quick read. This book has study questions in the back of each chapter. This is a book I wished I had read and applied during my few relationships. It would have made those relationships go a lot better for the glory of God. But, this is why I'm telling you guys to read it now.
This book goes from teenagers to those are older and dating and wanting to get married. Talks about what to do during each stage, what not to do in those stages, why accountability with different ages of people is important, why Christian Biblical community is important in relationships.
My favorite part is how this book ended - with a declaration of the gospel and placing our Hope not in relationships but in Jesus:
"But, oh, the grace that God extends to needy sinners who turn to Him in genuine faith and repentance. Is. 64.4. GOD actually works FOR those who wait for Him. There is forgiveness and power for right living in Him. He loves to show Himself strong for those who humbly submit themselves to His lordship and treasure Him above all else. So no matter where you've been yesterday, seek Him for your tomorrow."
Alex and Marni - thank you for writing this book. May God's blessings be on your family and as you continue to encourage singles in your sphere of influence - both in your local community and as folks read this little book.
This book goes from teenagers to those are older and dating and wanting to get married. Talks about what to do during each stage, what not to do in those stages, why accountability with different ages of people is important, why Christian Biblical community is important in relationships.
My favorite part is how this book ended - with a declaration of the gospel and placing our Hope not in relationships but in Jesus:
"But, oh, the grace that God extends to needy sinners who turn to Him in genuine faith and repentance. Is. 64.4. GOD actually works FOR those who wait for Him. There is forgiveness and power for right living in Him. He loves to show Himself strong for those who humbly submit themselves to His lordship and treasure Him above all else. So no matter where you've been yesterday, seek Him for your tomorrow."
Alex and Marni - thank you for writing this book. May God's blessings be on your family and as you continue to encourage singles in your sphere of influence - both in your local community and as folks read this little book.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Heaviness and Tears
I am definitely not a person who cries a lot over much of anything - unless its a sappy movie or Apollo 13 (the 4 minute wait or reentry) or Anne of Green Gables when Gilbert Blythe is dying...oh, movies.
But, tonight, something is really just heavy on my heart. For the most part I can't even really put my finger on it.
It has been a long day but that has really nothing to do with it.
During our prayer time tonight, hearing prayers of humility and lowness of heart, of heartfelt worship, or prayers for healing, marriages to be restored. When I was driving home, texting, then glancing up and seeing the beautiful moon - knowing and being gripped by the holiness and faithfulness of God.
More than any of us - God is the picture and standard, the plumb line, of faithfulness. This world knows so very little of faithfulness. It is something I long for in relationships. It is something I long to be in who I am. That is something I want people to say of me. Faithfulness - it is so hard to see a picture of outside of Christ. We are sinners - we all fall short. But, faithfulness. Even in little things - like the moon - or the sunrise that will be here tomorrow morning. Jesus gave us a picture of that when He came to earth and He was faithful in everything He did. God is so good. Jesus is so good.
He heals, He is Everlasting Father (that shows faithfulness). Our world is so marred by sin - so scarred by the unfaithfulness of ourselves and others. Why is this so heavy? Why are broken marriages so weighty to me right now. Even in the church we are not immune to Satan. The Spirit is so strong. God is so amazing. But, we are still sinners.
What can be done about it? I'm so at a loss for what can be done to strengthen marriages. It is a deep sigh coming out of me that is never ending. Yes, I do see some wonderful marriages. But, its almost more often than not that I see ones hurting. This is such a picture of Christ and the church - and the world sees such a skewed picture - almost a out of order paint by number - of marriage.
Each time I hear of one more marriage failing, or hurting - I wonder why in the world I would ever want to get married. What makes me think I am any better than anyone else who struggles in their marriages or in their relationships. This has been such a weight on me today.
The other weight is the issue of pride. How I shut down when I'm not in control of something. Or when I get called out on something. Its like "multiple personality" or something - and I really am completely kidding on that. But, seriously. I don't take criticism well - even though with all I've been getting I need to get better at it. If I'm not the strongest personality or if I am outnumbered in anyway, I tend to shut down, be quiet, let others talk. Its almost an all or nothing thing. Or if I am unsure of something or fearful of criticism - then I tend to shy away from stuff.
Ok - so this is really just a rambling blog. I am thankful that I am going to bed tonight - knowing that God is still on His throne - He is still faithful - He is the mighty healer. He will continue to break me of sin. He will continue to draw men unto Himself. God - thank you.
Anyway - if you read this...thanks, hope something was in it for you. But, more than anything, it was a way for me to talk to myself and let my fingers catch up to my brain.
But, tonight, something is really just heavy on my heart. For the most part I can't even really put my finger on it.
It has been a long day but that has really nothing to do with it.
During our prayer time tonight, hearing prayers of humility and lowness of heart, of heartfelt worship, or prayers for healing, marriages to be restored. When I was driving home, texting, then glancing up and seeing the beautiful moon - knowing and being gripped by the holiness and faithfulness of God.
More than any of us - God is the picture and standard, the plumb line, of faithfulness. This world knows so very little of faithfulness. It is something I long for in relationships. It is something I long to be in who I am. That is something I want people to say of me. Faithfulness - it is so hard to see a picture of outside of Christ. We are sinners - we all fall short. But, faithfulness. Even in little things - like the moon - or the sunrise that will be here tomorrow morning. Jesus gave us a picture of that when He came to earth and He was faithful in everything He did. God is so good. Jesus is so good.
He heals, He is Everlasting Father (that shows faithfulness). Our world is so marred by sin - so scarred by the unfaithfulness of ourselves and others. Why is this so heavy? Why are broken marriages so weighty to me right now. Even in the church we are not immune to Satan. The Spirit is so strong. God is so amazing. But, we are still sinners.
What can be done about it? I'm so at a loss for what can be done to strengthen marriages. It is a deep sigh coming out of me that is never ending. Yes, I do see some wonderful marriages. But, its almost more often than not that I see ones hurting. This is such a picture of Christ and the church - and the world sees such a skewed picture - almost a out of order paint by number - of marriage.
Each time I hear of one more marriage failing, or hurting - I wonder why in the world I would ever want to get married. What makes me think I am any better than anyone else who struggles in their marriages or in their relationships. This has been such a weight on me today.
The other weight is the issue of pride. How I shut down when I'm not in control of something. Or when I get called out on something. Its like "multiple personality" or something - and I really am completely kidding on that. But, seriously. I don't take criticism well - even though with all I've been getting I need to get better at it. If I'm not the strongest personality or if I am outnumbered in anyway, I tend to shut down, be quiet, let others talk. Its almost an all or nothing thing. Or if I am unsure of something or fearful of criticism - then I tend to shy away from stuff.
Ok - so this is really just a rambling blog. I am thankful that I am going to bed tonight - knowing that God is still on His throne - He is still faithful - He is the mighty healer. He will continue to break me of sin. He will continue to draw men unto Himself. God - thank you.
Anyway - if you read this...thanks, hope something was in it for you. But, more than anything, it was a way for me to talk to myself and let my fingers catch up to my brain.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
This Momentary Marriage - John Piper
This book, available at Desiring God, is amazing. There are few marriage books that I highly recommend for people to read before getting married - and this will definitely be on the list. This is a compilation of mostly sermons Piper preached at Bethlehem, some of which I had read before, but seriously - this is so good.
He talks about the seriousness of marriage and then what marriage symbolizes in the relationship of Christ and the church. Oh goodness - get this book!
"There has never been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough" (19) Many of us think that if we could just go back to the "good ole days" things would be better with our marriages. But, just because people stay together doesn't mean their marriages are godly and gospel affirming.
"Let the measure of God's grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse." (46) Wow - that's hard to live by. I've been so convicted, even in reading this book, that I need to offer more grace to others - because I don't give it enough. Lord, make me more gracious.
Piper quotes many of Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers from Prison at the beginning of each chapter. This is one of them: "The wife should see her husband clothed in this dignity - head of the wife as Christ is head of the church" (30)
"Wives, let your fallen submission be redeemed by modeling it after God's intention for the church." (80). I think if we think about marriage in light of the redeemed church - our marriages (and my thoughts of marriage a single woman) would radically change.
"God promises those who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessing of marriage and children - and he called you to display truths about Christ." (106) This is a measure of faith for me. No one in the world or in the church sees it this way. Marriage is so glorified. It is hard to be in a church and not be married. But, Lord - where my faith is weak - increase it.
"Have those attitudes and do those acts in your marital sexual relations that grow out of the contentment that comes from confidence in God's promises." (130) Since the bedroom has been so commercialized and publicized - many women (and men) find themselves overwhelmed with inadequacies and pressure to perform. Read this sentence and live by the gospel in EVERY aspect of marriage (and singleness).
"If it genuinely lies within you, by the grace of God, to throw yourself on the mercy of God for forgiveness, then He will free you from the guilt of the past. He will make a new, clear, sexual life possible in marriage." (132) I must offer grace and forgiveness. Who am I not to offer it when Christ has offered it through the Cross for all eternity.
So - go read this book. If you are married - it will help change your marriage - I would recommend reading it together (especially engaged couples) - they are short chapters (about 5-6 pages per chapter). And for singles - read it too - I don't think we can prepare enough. Whether we are to get married in the future, or whether we are to support our brothers and sisters in their marriages.
And speaking of marriage as a topic, I've been reading some great posts for wives over at the Girl Talk blog. This needs to go up as a reminder. Because even though I am yet to be married, it says all the days of her life: that means that even before I am married I need to be bringing my husband good all days of my life." That means I will guard my heart and my body and my mind - all for him - mostly for the glory of God!
He talks about the seriousness of marriage and then what marriage symbolizes in the relationship of Christ and the church. Oh goodness - get this book!
"There has never been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough" (19) Many of us think that if we could just go back to the "good ole days" things would be better with our marriages. But, just because people stay together doesn't mean their marriages are godly and gospel affirming.
"Let the measure of God's grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse." (46) Wow - that's hard to live by. I've been so convicted, even in reading this book, that I need to offer more grace to others - because I don't give it enough. Lord, make me more gracious.
Piper quotes many of Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers from Prison at the beginning of each chapter. This is one of them: "The wife should see her husband clothed in this dignity - head of the wife as Christ is head of the church" (30)
"Wives, let your fallen submission be redeemed by modeling it after God's intention for the church." (80). I think if we think about marriage in light of the redeemed church - our marriages (and my thoughts of marriage a single woman) would radically change.
"God promises those who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessing of marriage and children - and he called you to display truths about Christ." (106) This is a measure of faith for me. No one in the world or in the church sees it this way. Marriage is so glorified. It is hard to be in a church and not be married. But, Lord - where my faith is weak - increase it.
"Have those attitudes and do those acts in your marital sexual relations that grow out of the contentment that comes from confidence in God's promises." (130) Since the bedroom has been so commercialized and publicized - many women (and men) find themselves overwhelmed with inadequacies and pressure to perform. Read this sentence and live by the gospel in EVERY aspect of marriage (and singleness).
"If it genuinely lies within you, by the grace of God, to throw yourself on the mercy of God for forgiveness, then He will free you from the guilt of the past. He will make a new, clear, sexual life possible in marriage." (132) I must offer grace and forgiveness. Who am I not to offer it when Christ has offered it through the Cross for all eternity.
So - go read this book. If you are married - it will help change your marriage - I would recommend reading it together (especially engaged couples) - they are short chapters (about 5-6 pages per chapter). And for singles - read it too - I don't think we can prepare enough. Whether we are to get married in the future, or whether we are to support our brothers and sisters in their marriages.
And speaking of marriage as a topic, I've been reading some great posts for wives over at the Girl Talk blog. This needs to go up as a reminder. Because even though I am yet to be married, it says all the days of her life: that means that even before I am married I need to be bringing my husband good all days of my life." That means I will guard my heart and my body and my mind - all for him - mostly for the glory of God!
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Ken Sande - Peacemaking Marriage
Last night the Leadership school here at Southern had the opportunity to host Mr. Ken Sande, Director of Peacemaker Ministries. The first event was a couples' dessert. Well, you might ask...why was I attending - I'm not a couple. But, I do work for the LEAD School so I had to be there. What a treat I was in for! :)
His goal of marriage: to feel safer and happier near (your spouse) than anywhere else in this world. And the only way to get there: the gospel of Jesus Christ.
He shared many stories from his own marriage and parenting and other experiences in his life. He was personable and funny - but serious when it came to marriage and the gospel. And forgiveness and repentance. His points were Word-based and focused on the good news of the gospel of Jesus. In a Q/A time - he pointed out from John 13, 17 that this type of peacemaking would also be great for evangelistic purposes.
Marriages show the world the mystery and the glory of Christ. I pray for marriages that I know that their marriage would showcase that Glory. I pray for my own marriage - if God ever blesses in that way - that I would be a safe harbor for my husband to come to (and our home).
The thing I caught the most was to breathe grace. This also goes along with what Dustin preached on Sunday at church. our words and (internal talk) should always breathe grace to people.
His goal of marriage: to feel safer and happier near (your spouse) than anywhere else in this world. And the only way to get there: the gospel of Jesus Christ.
He shared many stories from his own marriage and parenting and other experiences in his life. He was personable and funny - but serious when it came to marriage and the gospel. And forgiveness and repentance. His points were Word-based and focused on the good news of the gospel of Jesus. In a Q/A time - he pointed out from John 13, 17 that this type of peacemaking would also be great for evangelistic purposes.
Marriages show the world the mystery and the glory of Christ. I pray for marriages that I know that their marriage would showcase that Glory. I pray for my own marriage - if God ever blesses in that way - that I would be a safe harbor for my husband to come to (and our home).
The thing I caught the most was to breathe grace. This also goes along with what Dustin preached on Sunday at church. our words and (internal talk) should always breathe grace to people.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
When Sinners Say "I Do" - Dave Harvey
Sovereign Grace pastors put out some good books. This is no exception. I've been wanting to read this book since it came out about a year ago. Then one of my friends who is newly-married told me that it was fantastic - and was changing her marriage already.
No one really wants to hear the information in this book - but it is so good. Again, a great book to read in light of the gospel - the grace and Cross of Jesus!
"To be a good theologian and therefore a good spouse, we must study God as he really is. We must get our understanding and interpretation of God and reality from Scripture (p.22)" The beginning of knowing anything about sin and why it is so horrible - is to know God. The more we know who God is the more we will know how sinful we are - but how welcomed we are by His grace.
"Marriage is set within the world – and within your home and mine – as a reminder, a living parable of Christ’s relationship to the church." (p 27). I said this a while ago on this blog that this was my biggest fear in getting married - was that people might look at my marriage and see a strained view of the gospel. But, grace is big. I am a sinner - sometimes I think I'm not (I guess, but that is pride, therefore I am a sinner).
"It is very important to our Christian lives to be suspicious of any claims to righteousness we bring to our relationship with God. It is in Christ alone, and in his merit alone, that we trust. True humility is living confident in Christ’s righteousness, and suspicious of our own. p 63" I love this definition of humility. I said to someone the other day that I am glad I'm reading all these marriage books - seriously - do I think I can work my way to a right relationship with God - it is still all grace.
"Needs are not wrong, we all have them. They exist as daily reminders that we were created as dependent beings. in fundamental need of God and his provision for our lives. But, maintaining a distinction between genuine needs and those needs invented by a self-indulgent culture is essential for a healthy marriage. " (p 74) Needs, expectations, etc - how often do I think about what I can offer the other person - people I see all around me - those in need - or is it just what I need that matters? My life should be about being a servant to other people - not about getting my needs and expectations met.
"Be merciful even as your Father is merciful (Luke 6.36) Mercy is a unique, marvelous, exceptional word. God’s mercy means his kindness, patience, and forgiveness toward us. It is his compassionate willingness to suffer for and with sinners for their ultimate good. Sweet marriages are built on mercy dispensed" (p 79, 82) As I've recently taken a personality test - I have grown in mercy. Now, let me tell you this is none of my own doing. Over the past few years I have prayed that God would work mercy in me because I have received much mercy. Not that personality tests mean everything - but God is gracious in letting me continue to receive mercy and is enabling me by His grace - to show it to others. I still have so far to go! :)
"Would your spouse say you sympathize with weakness? That you extend to him or her the mercy Christ has lavished on you in light of your weaknesses? Or do you sit in judgment?" (p 93) Oh, our marriages would be so different if we shared with our spouses the same grace that God shared with us. Jesus was able to sympathize with us - knowing our burdens - let us turn our faces towards our spouses in their times of weakness and struggle - and point them to a ever-loving Savior.
"God’s purpose for reproof is not to achieve a hassle-free marriage, but to inspire repentance unto godliness. And repentance and change simply take time. We must be committed to the entire process of helping each other grow in godliness through life." - (p 127) - The entire process. I seem to be committed to telling others what is wrong in their lives - not seeing them through. That is work of mercy in my life by a gracious Father. Thank you.
"Meekness has nothing to do with being weak or passive. Meekness is power harnesses by love. It is an expression of humility that will not bristle or defend when challenged about motives. In fact, a meek person realizes that he could have selfish motives and must evaluate himself. This fruit of the Spirit helps us govern our anger, restrain our tongue, and maintain our peace. Tozer said the meek man will have attained a place of soul rest. As he walks on in meekness he will be happy to let God defend him. The old struggle to defend himself is over. He has found the peace which meekness brings. In marriage, to be meek is not to be weak or vulnerable, but to be so committed to your spouse that you will sacrifice for his or her good. A meek person sees the futility of responding to sin with sin." (p 130) I have known for about 7 years that this is what I need in a husband - someone who leads with meekness - not with shouting, anger, tyranny. But, I pray now, having read this paragraph, that I would become more meek - seeing what I want to see in my future spouse also in myself.
Thanks Laura for telling me how good this book is. It is a definite must read for everyone getting married (yes, even in the engagement period) and also for those who have been married for 50 years.
No one really wants to hear the information in this book - but it is so good. Again, a great book to read in light of the gospel - the grace and Cross of Jesus!
"To be a good theologian and therefore a good spouse, we must study God as he really is. We must get our understanding and interpretation of God and reality from Scripture (p.22)" The beginning of knowing anything about sin and why it is so horrible - is to know God. The more we know who God is the more we will know how sinful we are - but how welcomed we are by His grace.
"Marriage is set within the world – and within your home and mine – as a reminder, a living parable of Christ’s relationship to the church." (p 27). I said this a while ago on this blog that this was my biggest fear in getting married - was that people might look at my marriage and see a strained view of the gospel. But, grace is big. I am a sinner - sometimes I think I'm not (I guess, but that is pride, therefore I am a sinner).
"It is very important to our Christian lives to be suspicious of any claims to righteousness we bring to our relationship with God. It is in Christ alone, and in his merit alone, that we trust. True humility is living confident in Christ’s righteousness, and suspicious of our own. p 63" I love this definition of humility. I said to someone the other day that I am glad I'm reading all these marriage books - seriously - do I think I can work my way to a right relationship with God - it is still all grace.
"Needs are not wrong, we all have them. They exist as daily reminders that we were created as dependent beings. in fundamental need of God and his provision for our lives. But, maintaining a distinction between genuine needs and those needs invented by a self-indulgent culture is essential for a healthy marriage. " (p 74) Needs, expectations, etc - how often do I think about what I can offer the other person - people I see all around me - those in need - or is it just what I need that matters? My life should be about being a servant to other people - not about getting my needs and expectations met.
"Be merciful even as your Father is merciful (Luke 6.36) Mercy is a unique, marvelous, exceptional word. God’s mercy means his kindness, patience, and forgiveness toward us. It is his compassionate willingness to suffer for and with sinners for their ultimate good. Sweet marriages are built on mercy dispensed" (p 79, 82) As I've recently taken a personality test - I have grown in mercy. Now, let me tell you this is none of my own doing. Over the past few years I have prayed that God would work mercy in me because I have received much mercy. Not that personality tests mean everything - but God is gracious in letting me continue to receive mercy and is enabling me by His grace - to show it to others. I still have so far to go! :)
"Would your spouse say you sympathize with weakness? That you extend to him or her the mercy Christ has lavished on you in light of your weaknesses? Or do you sit in judgment?" (p 93) Oh, our marriages would be so different if we shared with our spouses the same grace that God shared with us. Jesus was able to sympathize with us - knowing our burdens - let us turn our faces towards our spouses in their times of weakness and struggle - and point them to a ever-loving Savior.
"God’s purpose for reproof is not to achieve a hassle-free marriage, but to inspire repentance unto godliness. And repentance and change simply take time. We must be committed to the entire process of helping each other grow in godliness through life." - (p 127) - The entire process. I seem to be committed to telling others what is wrong in their lives - not seeing them through. That is work of mercy in my life by a gracious Father. Thank you.
"Meekness has nothing to do with being weak or passive. Meekness is power harnesses by love. It is an expression of humility that will not bristle or defend when challenged about motives. In fact, a meek person realizes that he could have selfish motives and must evaluate himself. This fruit of the Spirit helps us govern our anger, restrain our tongue, and maintain our peace. Tozer said the meek man will have attained a place of soul rest. As he walks on in meekness he will be happy to let God defend him. The old struggle to defend himself is over. He has found the peace which meekness brings. In marriage, to be meek is not to be weak or vulnerable, but to be so committed to your spouse that you will sacrifice for his or her good. A meek person sees the futility of responding to sin with sin." (p 130) I have known for about 7 years that this is what I need in a husband - someone who leads with meekness - not with shouting, anger, tyranny. But, I pray now, having read this paragraph, that I would become more meek - seeing what I want to see in my future spouse also in myself.
Thanks Laura for telling me how good this book is. It is a definite must read for everyone getting married (yes, even in the engagement period) and also for those who have been married for 50 years.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Headaches, Elyse Fitzpatrick's "Helper By Design", and NCAA Basketball
This morning, time change and all, started early. It started early because I had a headache, so I gave up the idea of church today and tried to sleep off the headache. My eyes and head hurt. Feeling a little better at the writing of this, but still my head hurts some. I don't like to take medicine if I don't have to - I try to rest and take it easy if I'm not feeling well.
Thursday evening I had the opportunity to hear Elyse Fitzpatrick speak on her upcoming book Because He Loves Me. I have read several of her books, including Helper by Design, which I just finished today. She has to be, if not the best, one of the best woman speakers I have heard. She is very gospel and Word centered and her approach to speaking is seriousness - not fluffy stuff. She is right on in aspects of the gospel that apply to women's lives. Hands down, that 80 minute "sermon" from Elyse to women on Thursday, was the best sermon I've heard from anyone since being here in KY. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have heard her.
Helper by Design is a book about what it means to be a helper to your husband. Yes, I know I am not married, but I can continue to learn and grow in that direction, if God so pours out his grace in that way in the future. These are some of the thoughts that stood out to me (got underlined) in my reading:
"How can I facilitate his development of a fruitful rest? What could I do to make our life together a place of harmony and God-centered worship, especially on the Lord's day?" (37) I think one of the many purposes or goals that I, as a wife, should have, is to keep harmony and peace - an atmosphere - in our home. Whether that is keeping a schedule for the successful running of the home, keeping the house clean, and also with peace that comes out of my mouth and in my non-verbal communication - that is a task I am given.
"Being your husband's companion-helper is much more than making his breakfast and sitting with him as he cheers on his favorite football team. Its a holy calling and one that you've been designed to fill, all for your joy and God's glory." (44) Notice the last line doesn't say "for your husband's enjoyment". It says for your enjoyment and God's glory. Just like Piper always rights - if we find our complete joy in Him - then our joy will be full. Life is not about making much of us - its about making much of others and ultimately making much of Jesus.
This was the biggest thought of the book for me: "The Lord has commanded him to love me just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. When I think about that command all I can do is shake my head in amazement! My heart reaches out in sympathy to him, and I long to help him obey. So, out of love for him and in light of our unified love for Christ, I want to try to make myself easy for him to love. I want to make his obedience to Christ easy." (94) Just think on that awhile and see how your life changes.
"You must be careful with your girlfriends to guard the words you speak about your husband, not only because you're called to honor and respect him, but because those thoughts will stick with you when you're with him that evening." (106) This is something I've thought of and heard before - and something that is so hard to practice. I want to be that wife - who never is heard speaking an ill word against her husband. The words might even be true - but those thoughts and words are still not God-glorifying - Phil 4.8.
Outside of being a woman who loves Jesus and His Word, I want this to be said of me: "Kindness, as opposed to a harsh, crabby temper. It is easily pleased, a mildness of temper, calmness of spirit, an unruffled disposition. It sweetens the temper, corrects an irritable disposition, disposes us to make all around us as happy as possible. God is the only one who can tame our hearts and make us into women who are known for their kindness. Is your lifestyle marked with good deeds, expressed in grace and tenderness?" (122)
In speaking on a chapter about submission: "You are to embrace the mission, calling, and vision of your husband, making it your own. You are to bring all your gifts and strengths to him for his use, as he fulfills God's calling in his life. In this way, submission is much deeper than mere obedience, although it is not less than that." (154)
This book is an easy read. It is also very practical with questions in the chapter and study group questions at the end of each chapter. This book is also very Word focused and focused on the life transformation the gospel can and should have in your marriage. It is another high recommendation (as iare any of Elyse's books).
Bball - we are heading into a very important time in the life of NCAA basketball. It is time for the conference tournaments and then those lead on to the Dance. Florida has had an awful end of the season (just losing a close one to UK) - although Nick Calathes will be great next year (and he is this year). UNC pulled off a huge win last night at Cameron Indoor. They won the ACC - big big game! :) Go Heels! Now, we'll see what happens this coming weekend and then on to the brackets!
Thursday evening I had the opportunity to hear Elyse Fitzpatrick speak on her upcoming book Because He Loves Me. I have read several of her books, including Helper by Design, which I just finished today. She has to be, if not the best, one of the best woman speakers I have heard. She is very gospel and Word centered and her approach to speaking is seriousness - not fluffy stuff. She is right on in aspects of the gospel that apply to women's lives. Hands down, that 80 minute "sermon" from Elyse to women on Thursday, was the best sermon I've heard from anyone since being here in KY. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have heard her.
Helper by Design is a book about what it means to be a helper to your husband. Yes, I know I am not married, but I can continue to learn and grow in that direction, if God so pours out his grace in that way in the future. These are some of the thoughts that stood out to me (got underlined) in my reading:
"How can I facilitate his development of a fruitful rest? What could I do to make our life together a place of harmony and God-centered worship, especially on the Lord's day?" (37) I think one of the many purposes or goals that I, as a wife, should have, is to keep harmony and peace - an atmosphere - in our home. Whether that is keeping a schedule for the successful running of the home, keeping the house clean, and also with peace that comes out of my mouth and in my non-verbal communication - that is a task I am given.
"Being your husband's companion-helper is much more than making his breakfast and sitting with him as he cheers on his favorite football team. Its a holy calling and one that you've been designed to fill, all for your joy and God's glory." (44) Notice the last line doesn't say "for your husband's enjoyment". It says for your enjoyment and God's glory. Just like Piper always rights - if we find our complete joy in Him - then our joy will be full. Life is not about making much of us - its about making much of others and ultimately making much of Jesus.
This was the biggest thought of the book for me: "The Lord has commanded him to love me just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. When I think about that command all I can do is shake my head in amazement! My heart reaches out in sympathy to him, and I long to help him obey. So, out of love for him and in light of our unified love for Christ, I want to try to make myself easy for him to love. I want to make his obedience to Christ easy." (94) Just think on that awhile and see how your life changes.
"You must be careful with your girlfriends to guard the words you speak about your husband, not only because you're called to honor and respect him, but because those thoughts will stick with you when you're with him that evening." (106) This is something I've thought of and heard before - and something that is so hard to practice. I want to be that wife - who never is heard speaking an ill word against her husband. The words might even be true - but those thoughts and words are still not God-glorifying - Phil 4.8.
Outside of being a woman who loves Jesus and His Word, I want this to be said of me: "Kindness, as opposed to a harsh, crabby temper. It is easily pleased, a mildness of temper, calmness of spirit, an unruffled disposition. It sweetens the temper, corrects an irritable disposition, disposes us to make all around us as happy as possible. God is the only one who can tame our hearts and make us into women who are known for their kindness. Is your lifestyle marked with good deeds, expressed in grace and tenderness?" (122)
In speaking on a chapter about submission: "You are to embrace the mission, calling, and vision of your husband, making it your own. You are to bring all your gifts and strengths to him for his use, as he fulfills God's calling in his life. In this way, submission is much deeper than mere obedience, although it is not less than that." (154)
This book is an easy read. It is also very practical with questions in the chapter and study group questions at the end of each chapter. This book is also very Word focused and focused on the life transformation the gospel can and should have in your marriage. It is another high recommendation (as iare any of Elyse's books).
Bball - we are heading into a very important time in the life of NCAA basketball. It is time for the conference tournaments and then those lead on to the Dance. Florida has had an awful end of the season (just losing a close one to UK) - although Nick Calathes will be great next year (and he is this year). UNC pulled off a huge win last night at Cameron Indoor. They won the ACC - big big game! :) Go Heels! Now, we'll see what happens this coming weekend and then on to the brackets!
Monday, February 04, 2008
Sacred Influence - Gary Thomas
To all of you women out there who are married - may God richly bless you in your marriage. After reading this book - I am even more assured that this task should not be undertaken without Jesus. Sacred Influence is a must read for all married women and women who want to be married one day. Gary Thomas also wrote Sacred Marriage, Sacred Parenting, etc.
Here are just some of the quotes that I felt were extremely challenging or uplifting - and some Scriptures that I found very pertinent:
"Women tend to be more invested in their relationships and marriage than are men. Woman are bent to their husbands." (p 19) - He went on to say that this wasn't a good thing - it was a result of the fall - that women would desire their husband's place.
"Some women never rise above a sinful propensity to define themselves according to their likability or acceptance by men." (p 20) Man, how true is this (no pun intended). In the many years that I have ministered to women - I find this to be incredibly true (sadly in my life at times as well). I've seen women stay with men who aren't good for them just because they can't see their lives single. Oh, but we have a Husband!
"If you're trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you've centered your hope on his approval, if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance, then you've just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God." (27) - I spent much of one relationship this way - it is not the right way to go about it. God is the only ONE who can satisfy you - whether married or single. The life of hurt that comes from doing the above is not worth it. God brings so much more joy!
"A good marriage doesn't happen by accident, and a good marriage isn't maintained by accident." (35) - Both are the work of the Spirit and the foundation of Jesus and His unchanging truth in the life of the 2 who are married.
"This should be the goal of every husband and wife - a man aspiring to be worthy of his wife and vice versa (38). I think I learned a lot of this from Phyllis and Billy. They once told me something back in college when Chuck and I were doing a project together. Pursue Jesus - love him - and out of that you will be able to love your spouse. The thing they want most is for the other one to love Jesus more. If Phyllis was loving Jesus - then she would be serving Billy in the ways that he needed - and vice versa.
"Nothing compares to being married to a godly woman - nothing. Nothing gets more tiresome more quickly than living with a narcissistic, weak, and fearful one." (39) - Oh, God - make me like the first one - make me more like You daily!
"Fighting your husband's irresponsibility with irresponsibility of your own is like pouring gasoline on a fire" (p?) - Something else he said in line with this is how much easier it is to sin when we have been wronged. How true is that? But, that is when peace, patience, a gentle and quiet spirit, one wrapped and soaked in grace and mercy comes in handy (all given to us by a gracious and loving Father).
"That's why forgiveness is so crucial - we need to let go of the past so we don't keep coloring the present with it" (137) - Oh, forgiveness - how I need it every day, and so do others. Mercy, there it is again!
"Someday, a young woman will have the opportunity to make me one of the happiest fathers-in-law who has ever lived - simply by loving my son well - by being generous, kind, and encouraging, by helping him become all that God intends for him to become, by forgiving him when he sins, lifting him up when he's discouraged, comforting him when he is sad, and sharing in his glory when he succeeds." (241) - This is what I want to be - this is what I encourage all of you wives to do - love your God well - in order to love your husband well.
Ecc 9:17, 2 Cor 7.1, 1 Cor 7.17, Phil 2
May you strive to love Jesus and love your husband
Here are just some of the quotes that I felt were extremely challenging or uplifting - and some Scriptures that I found very pertinent:
"Women tend to be more invested in their relationships and marriage than are men. Woman are bent to their husbands." (p 19) - He went on to say that this wasn't a good thing - it was a result of the fall - that women would desire their husband's place.
"Some women never rise above a sinful propensity to define themselves according to their likability or acceptance by men." (p 20) Man, how true is this (no pun intended). In the many years that I have ministered to women - I find this to be incredibly true (sadly in my life at times as well). I've seen women stay with men who aren't good for them just because they can't see their lives single. Oh, but we have a Husband!
"If you're trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you've centered your hope on his approval, if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance, then you've just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God." (27) - I spent much of one relationship this way - it is not the right way to go about it. God is the only ONE who can satisfy you - whether married or single. The life of hurt that comes from doing the above is not worth it. God brings so much more joy!
"A good marriage doesn't happen by accident, and a good marriage isn't maintained by accident." (35) - Both are the work of the Spirit and the foundation of Jesus and His unchanging truth in the life of the 2 who are married.
"This should be the goal of every husband and wife - a man aspiring to be worthy of his wife and vice versa (38). I think I learned a lot of this from Phyllis and Billy. They once told me something back in college when Chuck and I were doing a project together. Pursue Jesus - love him - and out of that you will be able to love your spouse. The thing they want most is for the other one to love Jesus more. If Phyllis was loving Jesus - then she would be serving Billy in the ways that he needed - and vice versa.
"Nothing compares to being married to a godly woman - nothing. Nothing gets more tiresome more quickly than living with a narcissistic, weak, and fearful one." (39) - Oh, God - make me like the first one - make me more like You daily!
"Fighting your husband's irresponsibility with irresponsibility of your own is like pouring gasoline on a fire" (p?) - Something else he said in line with this is how much easier it is to sin when we have been wronged. How true is that? But, that is when peace, patience, a gentle and quiet spirit, one wrapped and soaked in grace and mercy comes in handy (all given to us by a gracious and loving Father).
"That's why forgiveness is so crucial - we need to let go of the past so we don't keep coloring the present with it" (137) - Oh, forgiveness - how I need it every day, and so do others. Mercy, there it is again!
"Someday, a young woman will have the opportunity to make me one of the happiest fathers-in-law who has ever lived - simply by loving my son well - by being generous, kind, and encouraging, by helping him become all that God intends for him to become, by forgiving him when he sins, lifting him up when he's discouraged, comforting him when he is sad, and sharing in his glory when he succeeds." (241) - This is what I want to be - this is what I encourage all of you wives to do - love your God well - in order to love your husband well.
Ecc 9:17, 2 Cor 7.1, 1 Cor 7.17, Phil 2
May you strive to love Jesus and love your husband
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
This Week in Magazines
This week in magazines...here are some thoughts:
From Christianity Today...a Hillsong Article. My relation to hillsong started back in the day when Bobby Crum was starting the contemporary music scene at ABC, but before that, brought in some early hillsong tunes to the youth worship on Wed nights. Now, Jill is there and Mel is going - why does everyone want to go to Oz? Anyway...their music is all over the place and you probable sing it in your church whether you know them by name or not. Most of their music is correct theologically, although some I skip on the CDs because it seems like they write some songs for the lyrics to rhyme, instead of to be biblically correct. But, I take the good stuff. They probably have the most music titles on my iPod, so I definitely like them.
Their church is 20 years old and stretching across the globe - with United doing their first worship conference in Orlando next month (another thing I have to miss b/c I'm outside the state of FL).
This was an article on their fame and churches going world-wide...
"The church is Christ's body in which he speaks and acts and fills everything with his presence." Christ is the head of the local body - I wish more churches lived like that. Instead we get to hear of church splits and denominational catastrophes and marriages of pastors that end in divorce. Oh, if more of our churches lived out this above statement.
"To build something beautiful that reflected God in a beautiful way." That was the Houston's desire as they kept plugging into Hillsong. So many of our churches in many different denominations have other motivations than to lift up the name of Jesus and proclaim His salvation and His alone in a dark world.
"Can people flourish under your ministry?" This is a great question to ask no matter what ministry you do - whether you are a boss of an organization, a Bible study teacher to 3 women or 40 women or 10 3rd graders. Are people growing in the Truth and knowledge of God's Word by them being in your ministry? This has got to be answered - especially in discipleship/teaching ministry. By God's grace, I love looking back on girls' lives that I've plugged into and see what God is doing in their life today. God allowed me to have only a small impact in their life - just as so many has had on mine.
Hillsong is making a difference in many spheres outside the "religion world". That is important. God called us to be salt and light. Are we doing it here in America - or do we just sit on our cushioned pews and sing hymns, pray, go home...
There are some great things about hillsong: worship, small groups (I've heard they are amazing teams of serving together, doing life together, etc), and changing the culture around them.
But, there are also some not so good things: like women worship leaders and pastors. The Biblical model of male headship is not purposed there - they are more of a co-ed. I love Brian's preaching - but I wish they had complete male headship in the pastoral staff - mostly the worship Leader.
Ok - onto another one...What God Has Joined... by David Instone-Brewer; also from Christianity Today.
Ah, the question of divorce and remarriage. It is definitely one that is so involved in our churches than we should ever want. One of those questions that pastors should never have to answer - but sin entered the world almost at the beginning - doing things our way instead of God's way.
"Many have welcomed such stretching of Scripture because they couldn't accept what they believed the text apparently said." This is a sad reality about many subject of what the Bible teaches on. We would rather go on in our sin then come to terms with what the perfect Word of God says - as it cuts to the marrow of who we are. That is a hardness of the heart, something I'm currently reading about in The Mortification of Sin by John Owen (17th century Puritan).
This article is very much like my pastor's sermon recently from Matthew (www.fbcorangecity.org). Goes through the historical cultural aspects of d/rm before Jesus and during Jesus' earthly ministry.
There is grace and mercy in divorce and remarriage. The fact is - it does happen. Whether it is right or not. How are we going to relate to those who are? Let them be a part of us, or ostracize them because they don't have the "perfect" marriage with 2.5 kids and a dog?
From Christianity Today...a Hillsong Article. My relation to hillsong started back in the day when Bobby Crum was starting the contemporary music scene at ABC, but before that, brought in some early hillsong tunes to the youth worship on Wed nights. Now, Jill is there and Mel is going - why does everyone want to go to Oz? Anyway...their music is all over the place and you probable sing it in your church whether you know them by name or not. Most of their music is correct theologically, although some I skip on the CDs because it seems like they write some songs for the lyrics to rhyme, instead of to be biblically correct. But, I take the good stuff. They probably have the most music titles on my iPod, so I definitely like them.
Their church is 20 years old and stretching across the globe - with United doing their first worship conference in Orlando next month (another thing I have to miss b/c I'm outside the state of FL).
This was an article on their fame and churches going world-wide...
"The church is Christ's body in which he speaks and acts and fills everything with his presence." Christ is the head of the local body - I wish more churches lived like that. Instead we get to hear of church splits and denominational catastrophes and marriages of pastors that end in divorce. Oh, if more of our churches lived out this above statement.
"To build something beautiful that reflected God in a beautiful way." That was the Houston's desire as they kept plugging into Hillsong. So many of our churches in many different denominations have other motivations than to lift up the name of Jesus and proclaim His salvation and His alone in a dark world.
"Can people flourish under your ministry?" This is a great question to ask no matter what ministry you do - whether you are a boss of an organization, a Bible study teacher to 3 women or 40 women or 10 3rd graders. Are people growing in the Truth and knowledge of God's Word by them being in your ministry? This has got to be answered - especially in discipleship/teaching ministry. By God's grace, I love looking back on girls' lives that I've plugged into and see what God is doing in their life today. God allowed me to have only a small impact in their life - just as so many has had on mine.
Hillsong is making a difference in many spheres outside the "religion world". That is important. God called us to be salt and light. Are we doing it here in America - or do we just sit on our cushioned pews and sing hymns, pray, go home...
There are some great things about hillsong: worship, small groups (I've heard they are amazing teams of serving together, doing life together, etc), and changing the culture around them.
But, there are also some not so good things: like women worship leaders and pastors. The Biblical model of male headship is not purposed there - they are more of a co-ed. I love Brian's preaching - but I wish they had complete male headship in the pastoral staff - mostly the worship Leader.
Ok - onto another one...What God Has Joined... by David Instone-Brewer; also from Christianity Today.
Ah, the question of divorce and remarriage. It is definitely one that is so involved in our churches than we should ever want. One of those questions that pastors should never have to answer - but sin entered the world almost at the beginning - doing things our way instead of God's way.
"Many have welcomed such stretching of Scripture because they couldn't accept what they believed the text apparently said." This is a sad reality about many subject of what the Bible teaches on. We would rather go on in our sin then come to terms with what the perfect Word of God says - as it cuts to the marrow of who we are. That is a hardness of the heart, something I'm currently reading about in The Mortification of Sin by John Owen (17th century Puritan).
This article is very much like my pastor's sermon recently from Matthew (www.fbcorangecity.org). Goes through the historical cultural aspects of d/rm before Jesus and during Jesus' earthly ministry.
There is grace and mercy in divorce and remarriage. The fact is - it does happen. Whether it is right or not. How are we going to relate to those who are? Let them be a part of us, or ostracize them because they don't have the "perfect" marriage with 2.5 kids and a dog?
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
WORLD magazine on politics, religion, gay marriage, and culture
I was able to flip through a World magazine today and several articles caught my attention, and I thought I would elaborate on them here.
"Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold" - Joel Belz
Good article on how much we want our politicians to be religious. We don't want them to be heretics or heathens, but we don't want them preaching the Word to us all the time either.
"Mike Huckabee...that's dangerous stuff, bordering on radicalism" - on how he was a Baptist Minister
"Mitt Romney...his beliefs in Mormonism shaped him thoroughly...he's a fanatic."
Mr. Belz does say that the founding fathers mention God in the documents of our early country, but very little is made mention of the Trinitarian God and "speak only in vague generalities about God".
We want a person's political beliefs to not be linked to anything demanding like religious beliefs.
But, what does the word of God have to say about it. The title made me immediately think of Revelation where He says to the church "“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."
Belz wrote: "or someone whose religion is just an accessory to his life, about as important as the brand of suit he wears, but then he's a mere nominalist."
I don't want a mere nominalist as a politician, as a pastor, and I surely don't want to be a mere nominalist.
On Gay Marriage:
San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders went with his heart on his action of vetoing a law outlawing same-sex marriage. His daughter is a lesbian. But, as soon as I read the statement about "I decided to lead with my heart" I thought of Jeremiah 17.9: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick, who can understand it?" I guess Sanders didn't think about all the laws in God's Word where it says that homosexuality is a sin and God didn't create sex or marriage for that - He created both for His glory in the relationship of a covenantal marriage between a man and a woman for life.
On "Braveheart" - Jenny Kraemer
The first time I saw the trailer for Jodie Foster's movie The Brave One, I thought of a recent sermon by my pastor, James Hilton, on love and how we always seek vengeance - and not love (out of the sermon on the mount). But, as I read the article I was convicted about something else. Aren't most movies the same as this one? Take Batman (I love this series) - it is all about his vengeance of his parents' death. But, we cheer for Batman, we cheer at the end of all these movies. We don't think of it as sin do we? James Mac just preached a couple of sermons on this topic as well. We don't think about our lives being gripped by fear, "grappling with the pragmatics of justice and mercy". The only answer "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." (Isaiah 30.18).
I hope these thoughts spur you on to read magazines and culture and politics...in the light of the Word. May you think about the WORD as you read and engage culture. Don't be afraid of culture - but view everything through the lens of the WORD - have a Biblical Worldview.
"Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold" - Joel Belz
Good article on how much we want our politicians to be religious. We don't want them to be heretics or heathens, but we don't want them preaching the Word to us all the time either.
"Mike Huckabee...that's dangerous stuff, bordering on radicalism" - on how he was a Baptist Minister
"Mitt Romney...his beliefs in Mormonism shaped him thoroughly...he's a fanatic."
Mr. Belz does say that the founding fathers mention God in the documents of our early country, but very little is made mention of the Trinitarian God and "speak only in vague generalities about God".
We want a person's political beliefs to not be linked to anything demanding like religious beliefs.
But, what does the word of God have to say about it. The title made me immediately think of Revelation where He says to the church "“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."
Belz wrote: "or someone whose religion is just an accessory to his life, about as important as the brand of suit he wears, but then he's a mere nominalist."
I don't want a mere nominalist as a politician, as a pastor, and I surely don't want to be a mere nominalist.
On Gay Marriage:
San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders went with his heart on his action of vetoing a law outlawing same-sex marriage. His daughter is a lesbian. But, as soon as I read the statement about "I decided to lead with my heart" I thought of Jeremiah 17.9: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick, who can understand it?" I guess Sanders didn't think about all the laws in God's Word where it says that homosexuality is a sin and God didn't create sex or marriage for that - He created both for His glory in the relationship of a covenantal marriage between a man and a woman for life.
On "Braveheart" - Jenny Kraemer
The first time I saw the trailer for Jodie Foster's movie The Brave One, I thought of a recent sermon by my pastor, James Hilton, on love and how we always seek vengeance - and not love (out of the sermon on the mount). But, as I read the article I was convicted about something else. Aren't most movies the same as this one? Take Batman (I love this series) - it is all about his vengeance of his parents' death. But, we cheer for Batman, we cheer at the end of all these movies. We don't think of it as sin do we? James Mac just preached a couple of sermons on this topic as well. We don't think about our lives being gripped by fear, "grappling with the pragmatics of justice and mercy". The only answer "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." (Isaiah 30.18).
I hope these thoughts spur you on to read magazines and culture and politics...in the light of the Word. May you think about the WORD as you read and engage culture. Don't be afraid of culture - but view everything through the lens of the WORD - have a Biblical Worldview.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Thoughts on a sermon
These are my notes on a sermon from a friend of mine who is the Pastor at Richland Creek Community Church in Wake Forest, NC. 1 Peter 3.1-7 - even for singles, ones you mentor, about to get married, etc.
First 6 are for wives...but only one is for men.
What is the context (likewise); submission...slaves, employees, teachers, coach, pastors, etc.
Submit: voluntarily understand God's position for us.
"In the same manner"...it is not en vogue. Don't we always like to do what we want, when we want it. It is much harder to learn this (going into marriage) when you have been single for a long time (like me). We have gotten used to doing things our way and being our own "boss". But, we as singles can pray that God would give us a submissive heart even while we are yet single: hope and preparation.
Focus on what God has called you to do. Be submissive. God is going to ask us about the role He has called us to: be submissive wives, be Godly wives. Not the wife who is slanted toward contentiousness (there is that word again) - today went much better than yesterday.
We have equal value, different assignments.
Obedience to our God is the best way we can "evangelize" our own husbands. Even for singles: I think one of the best ways we can show a dying world the TRUTH is to live it out - be obedient: parents, bosses, the WORD. Our Pure Conduct accompanied by the fear of the Lord. Let the Spirit work!
Beauty: I was talking to some girls about that today. Do not let your adornment be worldly (cosmos). Cosmo - the magazine, is so trashy. I actually was reading one on a plane one day, freaking out about the fact that I was going to be intimate with my husband one day because they made it sound so gross. I want a beautiful marriage. But, he's not saying be ugly. Don't let it be your drive! Anyway, back to those girls: loving, peaceful, quiet, fun, Word-saturated...those are some of the qualities of these girls I emailed today - but they are also so beautiful by the world's standards.
"Gentle and Quiet Spirit" - not a wallflower, mute, etc. This is NOT what the Bible means. We can have personalities - created by God. How would your husband describe you? I want to be known by my husband to be G and Q. Man - God's got a lot of work to do on me. "In the sight of God". God is watching - He knows and cares about how we related to our husbands (because it demonstrates to a dying world the covenant between Christ and the church). Fulfill your responsbility.
The godly women who hoped in God adorned themselves in submission to their own husbands. We need to look to those godly women (especially as young married women or single women) as points of light in a dark world...as obedient women who know the truth. We have our role models as women who obey and submit to their husbands, both ones we know personally and ones that are afar off: Phyllis Robshaw, Carolyn Mahaney, Noel Piper, Sandra Rice, Merriem Franks, just to name a few.
Look to women who know and believe and live the TRUTH of God in their lives, especially in their roles as wives.
I'll stop there since I'm not qualified to speak as a husband/man. But, I will say I am diligently praying for myself that I would be like the above, and my husband would be like God and the husband that Paul describes in the NT and the wise man that the Preacher describes in the book of Proverbs.
First 6 are for wives...but only one is for men.
What is the context (likewise); submission...slaves, employees, teachers, coach, pastors, etc.
Submit: voluntarily understand God's position for us.
"In the same manner"...it is not en vogue. Don't we always like to do what we want, when we want it. It is much harder to learn this (going into marriage) when you have been single for a long time (like me). We have gotten used to doing things our way and being our own "boss". But, we as singles can pray that God would give us a submissive heart even while we are yet single: hope and preparation.
Focus on what God has called you to do. Be submissive. God is going to ask us about the role He has called us to: be submissive wives, be Godly wives. Not the wife who is slanted toward contentiousness (there is that word again) - today went much better than yesterday.
We have equal value, different assignments.
Obedience to our God is the best way we can "evangelize" our own husbands. Even for singles: I think one of the best ways we can show a dying world the TRUTH is to live it out - be obedient: parents, bosses, the WORD. Our Pure Conduct accompanied by the fear of the Lord. Let the Spirit work!
Beauty: I was talking to some girls about that today. Do not let your adornment be worldly (cosmos). Cosmo - the magazine, is so trashy. I actually was reading one on a plane one day, freaking out about the fact that I was going to be intimate with my husband one day because they made it sound so gross. I want a beautiful marriage. But, he's not saying be ugly. Don't let it be your drive! Anyway, back to those girls: loving, peaceful, quiet, fun, Word-saturated...those are some of the qualities of these girls I emailed today - but they are also so beautiful by the world's standards.
"Gentle and Quiet Spirit" - not a wallflower, mute, etc. This is NOT what the Bible means. We can have personalities - created by God. How would your husband describe you? I want to be known by my husband to be G and Q. Man - God's got a lot of work to do on me. "In the sight of God". God is watching - He knows and cares about how we related to our husbands (because it demonstrates to a dying world the covenant between Christ and the church). Fulfill your responsbility.
The godly women who hoped in God adorned themselves in submission to their own husbands. We need to look to those godly women (especially as young married women or single women) as points of light in a dark world...as obedient women who know the truth. We have our role models as women who obey and submit to their husbands, both ones we know personally and ones that are afar off: Phyllis Robshaw, Carolyn Mahaney, Noel Piper, Sandra Rice, Merriem Franks, just to name a few.
Look to women who know and believe and live the TRUTH of God in their lives, especially in their roles as wives.
I'll stop there since I'm not qualified to speak as a husband/man. But, I will say I am diligently praying for myself that I would be like the above, and my husband would be like God and the husband that Paul describes in the NT and the wise man that the Preacher describes in the book of Proverbs.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Biblical Femininity and the Sanctity of Marriage
These two topics have been on my mind lately. This is going to be written both for girls (my college ones know that is a term of endearment) but also for those who work with teenagers and college girls - who need to think about what the Bible has to say about things in light of what they are learning from culture and friends.
First, I think these two topics are in the same family - they have much play on each other. I'm not married, don't know if that is something God has for me, but I can think about it either way.
We have many portraits of what biblical femininity, or Christian women, ought to be like. Some are Beth Moore, Joyce Meyer, a local pastor's wife, mother, aunt, singer, worship leader, friend, etc. I'm sure we have all seen good and not-so-good pictures of what a woman of God should be. So...what is our "plumb line"? It has to be Scripture, and as I have heard recently: reading the Word in the Spirit, not in the flesh. The Word is perfect and will not lead us wrong in how to please God.
So, how does this play into the sanctity of marriage. I was at a genealogy conference this weekend and one of the speakers said basically that marriage was for the distribution and protection of property. Maybe by a legal standpoint - but not by a godly standpoint. A Christian marriage should be a reflection on Christ's relationship with the church. One that will bring the most glory to God - more than the two people remaining single (or married to someone else).
There are some women in my life that I would like to be like someday: Phyllis, Kimmie, Renee. Some women older than me that I wish I could pick certain traits and just pump them into my life: Kathy, Patty, Felicity, MG. Also, younger women that I know have traits that I would love to have because they are more like Jesus than me in specific areas: Christina, Laura, Vern, April, Melanie, Devan, Kasey. I've been around some recently that I do not want to be like. There is a demonstration of biblical femininity that is so appealing. When I am portraying that (be denying flesh and walking in the Spirit) - I want to rest in that, fall asleep in it, dwell there - because it is what I was created to be. But, then when I see the opposite, crass, loud (in a bad way) - I am so turned off by it. I just want to run from it. It is hard to model biblical femininity in a sinful world. But the Word says that it will be. Here are some thoughts from Scripture (so that this isn't all about what I think):
1 Peter 3.1-...
"In the same way, wives, be submissive to your own husbands...as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external...but that it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit - which is precious in the sight of God."
Prov 31.11
"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."
Eph 5.1-...
"Be imitators of God and walk in love. But immorality or any impurity must not be even named among you...Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord...Therefore be careful how you walk, making the most of your time because the days are evil. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her - so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless."
Galatians 5.25-26
"If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit - let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another."
I pray this for my life, for the girls in my life, and for the girls that I will get to minister to in the future. If we embrace the way we were designed to live...all for the ambition of the glory and praise of God alone.
"What would happen if a remnant of women were willing to repent, to return to the authority of God's Word, to embrace God's priority and purpose for their lives and homes, and to live out the beauty and the wonder of womanhood as God created it to be?" - Nancy Leigh Demoss.
As Carolyn McCulley has taught me well, as she has mentored me (as well as Christina and Kathy) - you can even do this "home" thing as single women - using your home as your main point of ministry - hospitality, studies, etc. Thank you women of God for teaching me that as single women.
"The starting point for all repentance is setting our hearts and minds on things above...to direct our attention to Jesus and the finished work on the cross...to intentionally focus on Jesus...and that we are no longer enslaved by an evil desire." - Carolyn Mahaney
Ok - this has gone long enough. Be encouraged - encourage other women you know in this too.
First, I think these two topics are in the same family - they have much play on each other. I'm not married, don't know if that is something God has for me, but I can think about it either way.
We have many portraits of what biblical femininity, or Christian women, ought to be like. Some are Beth Moore, Joyce Meyer, a local pastor's wife, mother, aunt, singer, worship leader, friend, etc. I'm sure we have all seen good and not-so-good pictures of what a woman of God should be. So...what is our "plumb line"? It has to be Scripture, and as I have heard recently: reading the Word in the Spirit, not in the flesh. The Word is perfect and will not lead us wrong in how to please God.
So, how does this play into the sanctity of marriage. I was at a genealogy conference this weekend and one of the speakers said basically that marriage was for the distribution and protection of property. Maybe by a legal standpoint - but not by a godly standpoint. A Christian marriage should be a reflection on Christ's relationship with the church. One that will bring the most glory to God - more than the two people remaining single (or married to someone else).
There are some women in my life that I would like to be like someday: Phyllis, Kimmie, Renee. Some women older than me that I wish I could pick certain traits and just pump them into my life: Kathy, Patty, Felicity, MG. Also, younger women that I know have traits that I would love to have because they are more like Jesus than me in specific areas: Christina, Laura, Vern, April, Melanie, Devan, Kasey. I've been around some recently that I do not want to be like. There is a demonstration of biblical femininity that is so appealing. When I am portraying that (be denying flesh and walking in the Spirit) - I want to rest in that, fall asleep in it, dwell there - because it is what I was created to be. But, then when I see the opposite, crass, loud (in a bad way) - I am so turned off by it. I just want to run from it. It is hard to model biblical femininity in a sinful world. But the Word says that it will be. Here are some thoughts from Scripture (so that this isn't all about what I think):
1 Peter 3.1-...
"In the same way, wives, be submissive to your own husbands...as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external...but that it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit - which is precious in the sight of God."
Prov 31.11
"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."
Eph 5.1-...
"Be imitators of God and walk in love. But immorality or any impurity must not be even named among you...Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord...Therefore be careful how you walk, making the most of your time because the days are evil. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her - so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless."
Galatians 5.25-26
"If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit - let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another."
I pray this for my life, for the girls in my life, and for the girls that I will get to minister to in the future. If we embrace the way we were designed to live...all for the ambition of the glory and praise of God alone.
"What would happen if a remnant of women were willing to repent, to return to the authority of God's Word, to embrace God's priority and purpose for their lives and homes, and to live out the beauty and the wonder of womanhood as God created it to be?" - Nancy Leigh Demoss.
As Carolyn McCulley has taught me well, as she has mentored me (as well as Christina and Kathy) - you can even do this "home" thing as single women - using your home as your main point of ministry - hospitality, studies, etc. Thank you women of God for teaching me that as single women.
"The starting point for all repentance is setting our hearts and minds on things above...to direct our attention to Jesus and the finished work on the cross...to intentionally focus on Jesus...and that we are no longer enslaved by an evil desire." - Carolyn Mahaney
Ok - this has gone long enough. Be encouraged - encourage other women you know in this too.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Household Question
I posed a question a couple weeks ago to married women on my email list. I actually got an overwhelming response. Thank you for those who responded. These women range from 22-60s. They have no kids, some kids, old kids, young kids (like Dr. Suess). Some have been married for less than a year, some over 30 years. Some work full time, some don't work at all, some work part time.
The question: is there anything that you must have done in your house before you go to bed at night (or you can't sleep)?
Some said random things, but the most frequent answer I got was the kitchen needed to be clean and house tidied. That meant the dishes in the dishwasher, not in the sink. Hopefully the dishwasher running (so they'd be clean in the morning).
Why? This helped their days to run smoother, the days to be less hectic, they would be available to show hospitality to people on a moments notice (especially when you are in ministry).
One good hint was to have a box or basket in your living room that kept all the clutter - then just go through the box every now and then and clean it out. Another - clean out the dishwasher first thing in the morning so you can fill it during day. And, limit your time cleaning - set a clock if you need to or do it during advertisements. Be intentional about clutter (or the lack thereof)
But, the sealer was: your family takes priority. If your husband is ready to go to bed - don't worry about the kitchen - go to bed with your husband. As one pastor's wife said, "a kitchen can wait, cultivating a Godly sound marriage can't."
Thanks ladies! :)
The question: is there anything that you must have done in your house before you go to bed at night (or you can't sleep)?
Some said random things, but the most frequent answer I got was the kitchen needed to be clean and house tidied. That meant the dishes in the dishwasher, not in the sink. Hopefully the dishwasher running (so they'd be clean in the morning).
Why? This helped their days to run smoother, the days to be less hectic, they would be available to show hospitality to people on a moments notice (especially when you are in ministry).
One good hint was to have a box or basket in your living room that kept all the clutter - then just go through the box every now and then and clean it out. Another - clean out the dishwasher first thing in the morning so you can fill it during day. And, limit your time cleaning - set a clock if you need to or do it during advertisements. Be intentional about clutter (or the lack thereof)
But, the sealer was: your family takes priority. If your husband is ready to go to bed - don't worry about the kitchen - go to bed with your husband. As one pastor's wife said, "a kitchen can wait, cultivating a Godly sound marriage can't."
Thanks ladies! :)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
An aweful and frightening task
Ok - you must hear me out on this and don't get all bent out of shape about the title.
Lately - I've been to weddings and know of weddings coming up (its summer - everyone gets married in the summer. But, I've also been the listening ear to many who are struggling in their marriages (both Christian and non-Christian). I've pretty much decided that it is much easier to be single than married. All I have to worry about is myself - yes, I guess that means I'm selfish.
Going back many years (gosh, almost 9 years), I remember sitting with Chuck - who was engaged to Corrine - in Phyllis and Billy's living room. We were there on a class asssignment. We asked them many questions separately - then brought them back together to answer some. The thing they said was key to making a marriage successful (and their's is) is to love God more than you love your spouse. That is definitely true in their marriage. They said if you are pursuing your relationship with God it would make all the difference in your marriage.
As I've been thinking about the flippancy with which our culture and church (just look at the Christian divorce rate) hold marriage - it is worrisome.
I was talking to a friend recently saying that I didn't want to get married b/c I thought it was hard enough representing Christ to a lost and dying world just being single - "being created in the very image of God". How much harder it would be to represent Christ to a lost and dying world by reflecting the relationship between the Church and Christ? How "awe"ful and frightening is that. That is so much responsibility. Its hard enough to be responsible for myself and my relationship with God - but not someone else, too.
I'm reading the Marriage chapter in Desiring God tonight. The opening verse is Eph 5.28-30
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ok - so I expanded it a little. Even Paul says this mystery (the relationship) is profound. This is what I want in a marriage - and what I see lacking in so many...
- a husband who will santify me by leading me in the Word each day and loving Jesus more than He loves me
- a husband I can respect
All other is merely accessories. This is how God designed marriage - to be a reflection of the relationship between the church and Christ. Christ came to die - gave up his life - serve - for a church He is continually santifying in His Grace.
Please - a lot of you are probably saying - she isn't married - she has no room to talk. Yes, but I do know marriages are hard - I don't have to be married to experience that. But...as Christians - let's show a lost and dying world what a godly, biblical marriage should look like. Wives...submit to your own husbands. husbands - love your wives as Christ loved the church - sanctify her and present her blameless to Christ (that is a lot of pressure by the way), wives...respect your husbands - don't laugh about them and make fun of them or put them down even for the faults he might have. Let me and the other single people out there have marriages to look at and say "I want mine to look like that".
Lately - I've been to weddings and know of weddings coming up (its summer - everyone gets married in the summer. But, I've also been the listening ear to many who are struggling in their marriages (both Christian and non-Christian). I've pretty much decided that it is much easier to be single than married. All I have to worry about is myself - yes, I guess that means I'm selfish.
Going back many years (gosh, almost 9 years), I remember sitting with Chuck - who was engaged to Corrine - in Phyllis and Billy's living room. We were there on a class asssignment. We asked them many questions separately - then brought them back together to answer some. The thing they said was key to making a marriage successful (and their's is) is to love God more than you love your spouse. That is definitely true in their marriage. They said if you are pursuing your relationship with God it would make all the difference in your marriage.
As I've been thinking about the flippancy with which our culture and church (just look at the Christian divorce rate) hold marriage - it is worrisome.
I was talking to a friend recently saying that I didn't want to get married b/c I thought it was hard enough representing Christ to a lost and dying world just being single - "being created in the very image of God". How much harder it would be to represent Christ to a lost and dying world by reflecting the relationship between the Church and Christ? How "awe"ful and frightening is that. That is so much responsibility. Its hard enough to be responsible for myself and my relationship with God - but not someone else, too.
I'm reading the Marriage chapter in Desiring God tonight. The opening verse is Eph 5.28-30
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ok - so I expanded it a little. Even Paul says this mystery (the relationship) is profound. This is what I want in a marriage - and what I see lacking in so many...
- a husband who will santify me by leading me in the Word each day and loving Jesus more than He loves me
- a husband I can respect
All other is merely accessories. This is how God designed marriage - to be a reflection of the relationship between the church and Christ. Christ came to die - gave up his life - serve - for a church He is continually santifying in His Grace.
Please - a lot of you are probably saying - she isn't married - she has no room to talk. Yes, but I do know marriages are hard - I don't have to be married to experience that. But...as Christians - let's show a lost and dying world what a godly, biblical marriage should look like. Wives...submit to your own husbands. husbands - love your wives as Christ loved the church - sanctify her and present her blameless to Christ (that is a lot of pressure by the way), wives...respect your husbands - don't laugh about them and make fun of them or put them down even for the faults he might have. Let me and the other single people out there have marriages to look at and say "I want mine to look like that".
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Who cares about marital status
Ok - so why is that as women in most churches and ministries, our identity in Christ is based on our status as single or married? I've been thinking about that a lot. We have most women's ministries in our churches geared for married women with kids. That is what our illustrations are about, our Bible studies are about. We have single women classes, discussing ways on how to be single for the glory of God or on how to wait patiently until we are married. We have seminars and Bible studies and conferences about how to love your husband, but they are geared to the whole church. Why don't we have conferences on how to love God more - no matter if we are single or married or divorced or widowed or whatever. Whatever happened to being a woman FOR God, not a single woman for the glory of God. It seems like when we are single in the church everyone is asking us - well, why aren't you married? Who are you dating? Why don't you just ask me Who is God to you right now - how are you serving Him and His body?
Random thoughts for today.
Random thoughts for today.
A Hope Deferred
I'm going to blog my "sermon" notes while listening to Carolyn McCulley's "A Hope Deferred talk on singleness. Carolyn is a single ministry to women person at Josh Harris' church in MD. Her blog is http://solofeminity.blogs.com and it is great.
Do I know if I am going to get married - no. The only thing I miss about not being a couple is that you usually don't get to hang out with couples. As all of my friends get married your circle gets smaller of people you can just call up and hang out with because most of those people go out with other couples. I'm learning that right now. But, this too shall pass. But, seriously, who knows if that is a hope that God has given me.
Do I know if I am going to get married - no. The only thing I miss about not being a couple is that you usually don't get to hang out with couples. As all of my friends get married your circle gets smaller of people you can just call up and hang out with because most of those people go out with other couples. I'm learning that right now. But, this too shall pass. But, seriously, who knows if that is a hope that God has given me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
