Ps 81: Worship, Obedience, Discipline, Promise in the Hard Times

Usually, I stick with the ESV, but I love the NLT for reading, journaling, etc. This wknd I spent a lot of time in the higher numbered Psalms - journaling, praying, etc. This morning as I sat down to my waffles and blueberries - I opened to one of my fave psalms. This is the reason for re-reading - you always see something new. Thank you HS for opening my eyes this morning to the glories of your Word!

Psalm 81

Sing praises to God, our strength. Sing to the God of Jacob. Sing! Beat the tambourine. Play the sweet lyre and the harp. Blow the ram’s horn at new moon, and again at full moon to call a festival! For this is required by the decrees of Israel; it is a regulation of the God of Jacob. He made it a law for Israel when he attacked Egypt to set us free.
I heard an unknown voice say, “Now I will take the load from your shoulders; I will free your hands from their heavy tasks. You cried to me in trouble, and I saved you; I answered out of the thundercloud and tested your faith when there was no water at Meribah. “Listen to me, O my people, while I give you stern warnings. O Israel, if you would only listen to me! You must never have a foreign god; you must not bow down before a false god. For it was I, the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things. “But no, my people wouldn’t listen. Israel did not want me around. So I let them follow their own stubborn desires, living according to their own ideas. Oh, that my people would listen to me! Oh, that Israel would follow me, walking in my paths! How quickly I would then subdue their enemies! How soon my hands would be upon their foes! Those who hate the Lord would cringe before him; they would be doomed forever. But I would feed you with the finest wheat. I would satisfy you with wild honey from the rock.”

Verses 1-3 is all about the act of worship, the noise of worship, that the Israelites are doing. Why? Verse 4 tells us that - because God commanded them to worship Him - and they did because He freed them, broke their chains of bondage, parted the Red Sea.
Verse 6-7 talk about how God freed them from their distress and bondage - He heard their cries for help.
Verses 8-9 is their admonishment again to not have any foreign gods ("little g gods" as I heard Sunday) before the only God.
Verse 10 gives them a reason to be a hopeful in this command.
Verse 11-12 - They still didn't get it, so they got the discipline (not wrath) of the Lord. He will not settle for second fiddle (as a Gaither song says).
Verses 13-15 - A promised plea from God - hey do this, look at what I'll do for you - I'll bless you if you'll just obey me.
Verse 16 - a great verse of promise coming from the most unusual places.

Now for us:
1. Worship. Loud. "Sing aloud. Beat the tambourine. Blow the trumpet." These aren't soft commands. Yes, there is room for soft and tender worship before the Lord. I think most of us have that down. But, why is it so hard for us to worship with total abandonment? Not caring if others around us hear our worship. As JD used to say I wish we would get as excited as the folks in Cameron Indoor - the Cameron Crazies - what if we were the Summit Crazies?
2. He freed us. God has paid the price for our lives so we may worship the One who has freed us. He delivered us from everything that troubles us. That doesn't mean we won't have any more troubles (the NT makes it clear that in this world we will have troubles). But, the one who loves us is the One who overcame sin and death so we could triumph over our troubles.
3. He tells us not to have any other gods. He knows us. He knows we are going to succumb to other gods. He knows we want to have the control in our lives and want things now just the way want them.
"Oh, if you would but listen to me!" "If you would only listen to me." I've heard this many times from my parents in the past - sorta an "I told you so". God just wants us to listen to Him. To obey Him. He knows the good that comes from that. He knows the blessings that will come. He knows our happiness that will come when we obey and listen - FULLY.
4. But, He has to often discipline us because we aren't listening - we choose other gods - we get discouraged because our focus and gaze is on other things other than Him. We get worked up because we don't think God is capable of solving our problems. We get distracted by worthless things.
5. His promises: Open your mouth wide and I will fill it. Based on the action He already did - calling to their mind - that He freed them from bondage. He is the same God. I will feed you with the FINEST of wheat, and with honey from the rock I will satisfy you. Not just with wheat to fill your storehouses - not just giving you stuff. But the FINEST of WHEAT. And since when does honey come from a rock. He will satisfy us out of these hard places.
This is what I cling to even now when I pray the same thing as I fall asleep at night. I seldom pray aloud - but last night as I laid listening, I spoke very softly, a genuine prayer of my heart. I pray more now - just the inward unceasing prayer. That He would stay my mind, but that He would also graciously give me the things I desire.
God is good.

God's Good Providence

I read a quote on someone's facebook status yesterday that went something like this. "If we look to God's providence instead of God's promises for the base of our faith - then our faith may crumble." This would be one of these days I'm glad I know the promises of God.
God's providence to us doesn't always come in the way we would want it to come. I'm reminded of William Cowper's quote "behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face".
I rarely take my prayer journal and put it on here, but lately I've been praying very specifically - from a pattern that JD gave us in his sermon when I was there in May. Thanks JD. So, here goes today's entry:
Adoration: You are the good providential God. You are constant and will never change. I can trust in your name. You are my hope and stay and comfort.
Submission: Thank you for the answer. Even though I may not like the answer, I know you are good and your will and answer are always for my good and your greatest glory.
Petition: I ask that my heart be relieved of its heaviness and your goodness and presence heal it.
Recognition: I ask for wrong things. Please take my wrong desires, burn them, remold them into the right desires that are for you.
Gospel: This wish obviously wouldn't bring you the greatest glory. You still have your greatest glory at heart - way behind is my "happiness".
I was reminded through a friend of this Psalm - a song we used to sing at the Summit. I always sing it when I read it in the Word: (Psalm 70.4-5)
"May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, “God is great!” But I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay!"
I am thankful for God's nearness. I am thankful for God's answer. I'm thankful for tears. I'm thankful for friends. I'm thankful for the promises of God. I'm thankful for the Word.

Who God is For Us in Psalm 103

Yesterday's reading (which I did today) was Psalm 103 (and Judges and Proverbs). I have been trying to make a list of who God is in these Psalms as I read them. Today is chocked full of descriptives of God's character. Then, we have our part:
1. God forgives all my iniquities (even my binging last night)
2. God heals all my diseases (even in light of the Swine Flu - or colds, or cancer, or whatever).
3. God redeems my life from the pit (when I'm down, discouraged, hurt, wrecked, exhausted, spent, lost, clueless, worrisome, burdened for others, questioning, etc)
4. God crowns me with steadfast love and mercy (I love the word steadfast - it is a picture of His covenant grace and character - it can't change). I need mercy every day in my life.
5. God satisfies me with good (man, I need to claim that even when I don't get what I want when I want it).
6. God works righteousness (in a world that is full of so much wrong, we can REST in knowing that whatever God does is right).
7. God is justice for the oppressed (when we get dished out something we don't deserve, don't turn away - rest in his justice).
8. God reveals Himself to us (thankful for the Word, the Spirit, creation, music, and any other avenue God chooses).
9. God is merciful (see number 4).
10. God is gracious (the story of the gospel).
11. God is slow to anger (even experienced this last night, He is so patient with me).
12. God is abounding in steadfast love (see #4)
13. God will not always chide (see #10).
14. God will not keep his anger forever (His wrath, through Jesus, has been turned away from us).
15. God does not deal with us according to our sins (Christ' righteousness has been imputed - given, put on - us).
16. God does not repay us according to our iniquities (see #15).
17. God shows great steadfast love to those who fear in Him.
18. God removes our sin (study the uniqueness and gloriousness of the cross).
19. God shows fatherly compassion on his children (He knows what we are going through)
20. God shows compassion to those who fear Him.
21. God knows our frame, that we are dust (He created us)
22. God shows everlasting love to those who fear him (see #4)
23. God's righteousness is to generations (part of his eternal unchanging nature).
24. God established (forever) his throne in the heavens (above all earthly powers).
25. God's kingdom rules (see #24).

Our job:
1. Bless the Lord
2. Fear Him
3. Keep His covenant
4. Remember His commands
5. Forget not all His benefits

So, when you are feeling "blue" or down or wondering what in the world life holds or what is coming next or you can't find your way out of a paper bag - know that God is unchanging. All these things He was to the Psalmist - He is for us.

Kate Perry and Psalm 1

I read many blogs. I like doing it. It is a way to stay in touch with the world. I read just beginning of a fitness one and found this:
"I tried to dislike Katy Perry for a long time. "I Kissed a Girl" was so over the top and supposed to be shocking and scandalous that it irritated the heck out of me. Plus, she routinely includes watermelons in her wardrobe. I love fruits, but come on.
And then I started humming the darn song. On a few occasions, I accidentally listened to it in its entirety while in the car. Then it somehow ended up on my iPod. Before I knew it, I was giggling with Erin over her signing the ditty to her dog when she'd kiss her on the head. It was only a matter of days before I repeated the act with my own dog. (Yes, we're those kind of dog owners.)"
I think this is the epitamy of Psalm 1:
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
In the above illustration, this lady found a very ill song (very Jane Austen way of putting something) to be "shocking, irritating, and scandalous". Then she started humming it. Now she has it on her iPod and laughs at it.
See the progression of: walks, stands, sits"...
I love it when the world is screaming Scripture and doesn't even know it. Think biblically folks!

Happy Valentine's Day and Psalms 23

First, Valentine's Day. I do love it. Usually I like to babysit for couples with children so they can have a less-expensive date night. And it helps me in my strengthening of marriages - which I like to do. But, the people I was planning on babysitting for get to go out of town tomorrow so they are hanging with their kiddos tonight.
I get to send out special valentines to some of my girls - I love them. I love taking this time to share some of the reasons I do love them!
I get to (this year) be excited for one of my girls and friends and former roomies, Erin, because she got engaged early this morning! :) Happy for Jason and Erin! Can't wait to see you in May!
But, yes it is hard. I've had one Valentines when I was dating someone and it was a hard day in so many ways. But, this year will be good. Working in the housing office, planning my menu this week in order to hopefully be a blessing to others, going for a long run this afternoon in some beautiful weather, grocery shopping, and watching movies. I can't think of a better Saturday (unless I was running in Carolina or in St. Augustine).
And, I was reading Psalm 23 today. Catching up on my Sojourn reading. But, I am reading out of the NLT (yes, I know its not the most accurate, and I usually read the ESV, but for devo reading, I am loving the NLT).
Here are my thoughts:
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need." - I don't need anything outside of my Jesus. He is all a girl could want. Now, He does give us desires and fulfills them according to His plans. That is His part of being our Shepherd.
"He lets me rest...he leads me beside peaceful...he guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name." I am loving my calm life right now. I know God is in control and He is making me be still, giving me a peace about many things in my life right now. I love that. Its been so long since I've been in that peaceful state in all of life.
"My cup overflows with blessings..." - SO MANY! Friends, the Word, 2 great churches in the ville, accountability and friendship, a great job, a place to serve, health, family.
"Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life." - I love the pursuing nature of God's faithfulness. He will not let me go. He will chase after me!
If I want to be pursued by some guy in life - one that will love me, never let me go, never fail me - I do have that pursuer in Jesus. Maybe one day I'll get a second pursuer!
Happy Valentine's Day!

8 in 08

So, since I probably won't be near a computer most of tomorrow (save to post some recipes) I thought I'd use today to go ahead and post 8 things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.
1. Salvation: 2 Corinthians 5.21 - "For our sake, He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God." Love that verse. Yesterday, doing pilates, I was reminded that I don't even take my next breath if not for the mercy of God. I am thankful for that breath and for the mercy of God. That He is enough!
2. Job. I love my job - I love the guys I work for and the fact that I am doing ministry, even in an admin position. It has been since 1999 working at Anastasia that I can honestly say I love what I do. And am thankful that God has allowed me to be in my position for 16 months now! Wow - can you believe it?! God is so gracious to me!
3. Church - Community. I still love the community God has given me in other parts of the world in my former churches: pastors/staff, mentors, families, my girls, precious babies who grow up too fast. But, this year (because last year was such a struggle with no church home) is an added blessing. I just joined Crossing on Sunday (officially, even though I've been going since July). Its great to have friends who care about you, people to push you, minister with, do life with. Love my new Xing Family! :)
4. Friends. One of the sub-things I'm thankful for this year is Facebook. I got on facebook shortly after coming to Louisville. Its been a great tool of ministry and re-connecting with people who spur you on for the sake of the gospel. So thankful for that online tool! But, really, am thankful for the faithfulness of friends, for God teaching me about friendships (how some come and go in life for reasons unbeknownst to us), and how God uses us in each others' lives (Col 3.15-17).
5. Family. My family will be going through some changes. Last year (2007) we all lived pretty close together as I was also in Lakeland for about 6 months. But, come April (I think) we will look very different. Mom and Dad will still be in Lakeland, I will still be in Louisville, but A/T will be in Cameroon, West Africa. So excited to see what God is going to do through them over the next 4 years, but yes, am a little saddened that they won't be a short flight (long drive) away.
6. Independence. I do not mean my freedom (as in USA), although I am very thankful for that as well. I mean my independence. Some people look at that at a negative thing, and I guess it could be. But, I love being an independent person, for moving to a new state (knowing 2 people who live here) and getting to explore and find new things, do what I want when I want, go where I want, etc. It is very fun and I never want to take that for granted.
7. Stuff. Yes, I am thankful for stuff. I am thankful for my 800 Sqft Square I call home. I am thankful for my cute little car, Charlie the Cruiser. Thankful for a new laptop, a free VCR someone gave me, clothes, cooking supplies, etc. There are so many things. Heat for one! God is so gracious to me. May I never rely on these things - but always be grateful for them - and be ready to give them up if the need arises! And share the blessings with others!
8. Mission Folks. I am so thankful to have people in my life who are called to the others sides of the world (in one way or another). Since some of these people are in closed countries: here we go with just their initials. A/T, MS, M and L M, RG, AL, L and K M, J and K R, R and K P and probably many more. But, I'm also thankful for people who have a heart for the world who are living here in the US of A: Sarah, Bruce, Greears, Brad and Jena-Marie, Bacons, Dawkinses, Kathy L, Bob and Jackie, and so many others. They spur me on - keep me focused on God's heartbeat for the Nations for His glory.
All these things to be thankful for - all given by one Good and Gracious God!
Ps 150:
Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! (or as David Platt put it: Let everything that praises the Lord have breath!)

Satisfaction

With the Thanksgiving holiday upon us, (then Christmas, New Years, Birthday), this is a time of the year for great reflection for me. I think I officially started it yesterday when I made my bday plans. Am looking forward to it and the preparation leading up to it as well.
On my walk to work this morning, I started to think and wonder if I've grown any this past year in certain areas. One area is that of satisfaction/desires.
My "life verse" up until my Senior Year of high school was Ps 37.4-5: Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act."
Then I started taking the verses surrounding it for a more complete look at that promise:
Ps 37.3-7a: Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him..."
So here are our commands as believers:
1. Trust in the Lord (this is active, not passive)
2. Do Good (again, active, not passive)
3. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness (this is something I want more of in my life, for people to know me as a faithful person).
4. Delight yourself in the Lord (Sandra keeps reminding me)
5. Commit your way to the Lord
6. Trust in Him (wow, 2 times we are told to actively do this)
7. Be still before the Lord (oh, how hard is this - to listen to the Lord)
8. Wait patiently for Him (I often tend to run ahead of God, thinking I know better than He does).
What He has promised He will do (and He keeps His promises):
1. He will give you the desires of your heart (reminder: read it and believe it in context with the rest of the verse).
2. He will act (and we see so often in our own lives and in the lives of others His faithfulness to do this on our behalf). I was telling someone yesterday that it is very exciting to be at a "turning point" in our lives - because then we get to anticipate the incredible ways God is going to act on our behalf for His glory.
3. He will bring forth our righteousness (He is our righteousness, as Paul clearly says in 2 Cor 5.21 - but I think this also means our works of righteousness he will allow people to see - He will be our crown and our significance.
4. There's that word justice again - see note on last blog.

So...what does all this have to do with how I've grown (or not grown) this year. Do I still have some unmet desires. Yes, I am selfish and human. I am still being sanctified. But...how I have changed this year for the most part - is that I do find my satisfaction in Him. When thoughts of wants or loneliness or desires that aren't met yet come into mind causing me to sin (envy, covetousness, idolatry - wanting something more than Jesus) - I remind myself of who God is for me, Bible verses that deal with those issues, the faithfulness and reward of God. He is so much better.
How have you grown this year?

Psalm 107 and Thanksgiving

I woke up yesterday morning thinking I would hear a topical sermon on Thanksgiving and grace and the cross. No, no...not at Crossing, my official new church home here in Louisville. I heard a great sermon on Ps 107 - and how (in my terms) our thanksgiving should be wrapped up in the character of God.
These are the main points that Dustin pointed out from this Psalm: (and my thoughts on them)
Who God Is and What He Has Done:
Our God is the Merciful Deliverer and the Satisfier of souls who has given His people a place to dwell. How has God delivered you, satisfied your soul, and given you a place to dwell? He has delivered me from myself and my sinful, harmful tendencies (of gossip, laziness, and eating too much) and He satisfies me more deeply than anything here on this earth - or anything that I think could satisfy me. Oh, how I want to know that more. Even in the literal term of a place to dwell - He has brought me to Louisville and allowed friendships and opportunities out of being here.
Our God is the Chain Breaker who frees His children from their bonds. How has God broken your chains? Where do you need Him to? I need him to continue to break them in terms of competition and trying to impress people and running my mouth (opinions I call them). He has already been doing this - but I need him to continue as He faithfully will.
Our God is the Merciful Healer who brings healing by His Word. How has God brought healing through His Word? How do you need Him to? I need Him to make His Word even more real to me - so that I won't just read it and think He means what He says - but taste and see that the Lord is good in these above areas of satisfaction. And I need Him to make the Word real to me as I read it and get so bored with it at times. He is so gracious - and even when I come to Him out of boredom or halfheartedness - He heals with His Word by His faithfulness to meet me right where I am.
Our God is the Sovereign Ruler over all of His Creation who stills the storms. How has God brought you through the storms? How do you need Him to? I can see the last 15 months of my life and how God has orchestrated it divinely to His specifications. I can see how the last 4 months have been so much better with a church family and the community of believers here. I am thankful for new friendships to weather storms with you. And knowing that God is in control of all of them - no matter how long the winds blow. He is a good God who lets us see.
Our God is Righteous Judge who brings justice. How can God use us to bring justice as an act of thanksgiving? Justice and Thanksgiving. I'll continue to think about that one. Not usually something we put together.
I'm very thankful for another look in Scripture where I can see that the God is far above the worth of my praise - but He desires me to thank Him, have a heart attitude of thankfulness, and share that grace and thanksgiving with others.

Psalm 69 and Prayer

Lately I've been reading through Ephesians for my quiet times, but last night I had no desire to read it. So, I did something different. Sometime yesterday I read a blog on Psalm 69 - so I thought I might read that - and I did - and got so much stuff that tied in with JD's sermon on Sunday and community group last night.
I continued reading and outlining what God was teaching me this morning - so here you go:
Psalm 69 is written by David, the man after God's own heart. He was in some sort of affliction. We often as for intercessory prayer from others or our prayer lives pick up substantially when we are in affliction or experiencing hard times.
These are 5 things I learned about prayer from this psalm:
1. David prayed persistently. Verse 3: "I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God." He uses words like weary, parches, dim, waiting" - these are great words to describe his affliction - not ones of peace, harmony, and joy. These words are specifically used to relay the message of tiresome, long suffering, pain, uncomfortableness. These things aren't pleasant - Yet - he continues in his crying out - he keeps crying out - and he keeps crying out.
2. David acknowledges his sin. This is also something we don't like to do. First, we may recognize sin, but we don't like to confess it - especially to God (funny, because He already knows our sin whether we confess it or not - Ps 139). But, David sees that need. In verse 5, 19, 20 he says "O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Reproaches have broken my heart, so that I am in despair. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none." He not only acknowledges his sin, but he also is brokenhearted over his sin (Psalm 51). This is also something else I have found. Christians get good at confessing our sin (Catholics in confessionals, Protestants in counseling sessions or small groups), but how often are we broken over our sin - or how often do we HATE SIN?
3. David trusts in the nature of God. Three things are seen in verses 13, 16: "But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me." Here we see three glimpses into the character of God: good, steadfast love (His covenant, unchangingness), saving faithfulness (how His faithfulness is salvation to us - think about that for a second), and abundant mercy (not just what we need, or just enough - but abundant, overflowing compassion).
4. David gives worship to His God in his time of need. Verses 30-32, 34 are evidence of David's worshipping heart: "I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs. When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive. Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them." David praises and worships his God through son, thanksgiving (think about that as we celebrate Thanksgiving next week - Dustin is preaching on it this Sunday, can't wait!), in pleasing sacrifices, humility (obedient piety as Dr. Vogel preached on this morning), he even challenges all creation to worship their God (I think of the Summit Song - "Let the Sea and Everything in it" - that Will sings on the CD.) Oh, how God desires our worship in prayer - and prayer itself is an act of worship.
5. David recognizes God's faithfulness and His willingness to answer. How often would our prayers change if we actually believed God would answer them? How often do we pray with so little faith and so much disbelief - thinking we'll pray - but not counting on God to answer? Verse 33 says this: "For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners." He hears the needy (do you recognize yourself as needy - is that how we come to God or do we come to Him self-sufficient?). He doesn't despise us - He counts us as worthy, not as unworthy. I learned what it means to hold someone in contempt and despise them a few years ago - and then realized what that means in my relationship with Jesus. Oh, thank you Holy Spirit. He also knows our bondage and our need. Oh, how He has freed us from that bondage to sin and death. And He knows exactly what we need and when we need it!
So - my prayer life should change based on this teaching. What I loved about JD's sermon on Sunday - is prayer is not a matter of knowing how God will work or what He has pre-ordained. God tells us to pray - so we need to pray. And then in small group - how we pray for each other, care about each, follow-up with prayer requests. Amazing stuff.
So - pray, consistently pray, pray with worship, hate sin, and pray focused on the goodness and faithfulness of God! That's what this whole blog boils down to.

Psalm 20

This morning in chapel, Dan opened with the call to worship from this Psalm. I didn't even know where he was reading from, but found out later. Don't know what version he was reading from either, but I heard this:
"May the Lord fulfill all your petitions" - 20. 5b (ESV)
Once I found out where he was reading I went back and read it:
This is verse 4 and 5
May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
Last night (I know, backing up): I got to talk to Nena, my dear dear friend in St. Aug whom I've known for over 10 years and I love the girl! Anyway, when asked a question - I said something to the effect of "I know God's peace right now". I don't know how to describe it. Am I any richer? Am I married? Do I have a paid church staff ministry position? Am I as thin or as pretty as I want to be? No. But...
God has saved me, made a way for me to know Him, and has given me Himself - that is where my peace comes from. He has fulfilled all my petitions in Himself. This is probably the first time in my life that I can recall that I can honestly say I believe and know and am experiencing that. God is so so so gracious to me.
So, just thought I would share.

Jill McCloghry - Amazing Girl and Song/video

This girl - and song - is amazing. I've known Jill since she was in 7th grade - have watched her grow, sing, struggle, grow, lean on Jesus, learn about Jesus, grow in Jesus, grow, struggle, keep growing and loving Jesus - she is great.
She is now way too far away from her "home" - living in Australia with her husband Matt.
This story of this song took place this February.
I love Psalms 34.1-3. My worship leader at the Summit embed it in our memories, quoting it often. This girl is a living breathing testimony of it. I pray as you watch this video - that you will look at the hard times in your life the same way. She sings truth! She is an amazing girl and someone I love (and miss) dearly. She exudes Jesus and devotion to Him when she sings/plays. Love you Jilly. Thanks for being an example of someone who loves Jesus and praises Him even in the crying times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE33ejdgWIY

NewAttitude 08: The Word

What a great day. Spent it with two other wonderful ladies here in L-ville, and we went to the Sovereign Grace Ministries New Attitude Conference. For those unfamiliar: NA is a conference for college, singles, and young marrieds. This year it was on the Word of God.
Over at the New Attitude site you can find more info, but I just want to share some things from today's sessions:
Mark Dever: pastor of Capitol Hill Baptist Church in DC. He is also a graduate of Duke, Cambridge, Southern, and more. So, pretty much - he's really smart. He spoke on skeptics and the Bible, the authority of the Bible for believers, and shared some of his testimony of how God led him out of agnosticism. The tough challenge he gave us at the end was: what part of the Word are you not obeying (where it doesn't have authority in your life)? Wow - way too many to name. God, purify me of those areas - cleanse me with your grace and your Word. Help me to love it more and more and see more and more of you!
Al Mohler, President of Southern Seminary here in L-ville. One of the most brilliant people I have ever met. Today - he got to do the only Q/A session and people flew in droves to the mics, though we only got to about 6 questions in an hour. His main purpose behind the questions he wanted: whatever would help them share the gospel more with the people the come in contact with. A heart for the gospel and academia. Brilliant. God - thank you for Mohler's hear and mind.
CJ Mahaney, former pastor of Covenant Life in Gaithersburg, MD and founder of Sov Grace. I was excited to hear this one because he was speaking on God's Word and our feelings. He preached out of Ps 42 and how we need to talk to ourselves more than we need to listen to ourselves: this is also found in D Martin Lloyd Jones, Tripp, and Jerry Bridges. Fantastic of course. I wish more pastors in SBC churches preached with the same passionate heard as an "uneducated (no college, seminary)" man would - that they would preach from their souls out of a love for a Savior - yes, this would come across in delivery. What good stuff. Stuff I need to hear every day! He told us to call God out on his promises! He will do them - He said he would do them didn't he? Classic CJ sermon!
Music was good and cross centered - very Sov Grace style. So good to be in a building where people were free to shout, raise their hands, clap, jump up and down, - all while singing theological deep and cross centered songs. Go figure?
Anyway - glad I had that bit of Sov Grace today. The Word - so precious!

Psalm 40

Some people probably think I only read the Psalms. I want to assure you that it isn't true. But, if you want to listen to some good sermons on the psalms - Josh Harris at CovLife in Gaithersburg is currently preaching a series on them. There is so much life and theology in the psalms. One can find out so much about God's character and how we, as His children, are to interact with Him.
Even as I sent a prayer request to some folks this morning and used some of Ps 40 in my prayer - it made me so quickly reevaluate my prayer life (or the lack thereof). So, here we go...
Ps 40 (man, now that I've looked at it even more - I love it even more - I love the WORD)
1. David was waiting on the LORD. Period. How my prayers often work is I tell everyone else about the prayer request and my little brain thinking is - well, that works as me saying the prayer too. WRONG! I need to first and foremost look to my LORD as my audience for prayers. He is the only one who can answer, the only One to offer relief. And the answer came. Yes, there is biblical commands for intercession and community of prayer - but never should we forgo taking our requests to God first!
2. "He drew me up" - God is working on our behalf. It is not a we thing. It is a God only thing.
3. I love this verse! Praise! Praise to our God - I think also of Romans 11.33-36 (see I do read other books of the Bible). All of our praise is due Him and no other - this is where it all comes from. And for what purpose is our praise: (one of them) is that people will "see and fear and put their trust in God." One of the reasons God answers our prayers is so that people will see HIM (not just the answer).
4. "who makes the Lord his trust, and does not turn to the proud" - concentrated gaze on God!
5. "You have multiplied your thoughts toward us" I love the idea of that - God thinks about me. HIS very Words (God-breathed) says that - and God doesn't lie. There is thankfulness and praise as a result of answered prayers.
6. I like this in light of Ps 50 (see next blog entry).
7-10. Declaration of our immediate obedience. Delight to do your will, law is within my heart, told the glad news of deliverance, I have not restrained my lips.
10-11. David extols the character of God that he declares: deliverance, faithfulness, salvation, steadfast love, faithfulness (again), mercy, steadfast love (again), and faithfulness (yet, again). These are so important characteristics when we have waited and waited and waited to see God work in an area of our lives - and finally (or maybe not yet) have seen the movement of God.
13. He takes joy to deliver me! But the deliverance may not come in how we think it will come. But, God is so WISE (as I have definitely learned over the last month)!
16-17. "But may all who see you, rejoice and be glad in you, may those who love your salvation, say continually Great is the Lord! As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer, do not delay, O My God!" This is David's resounding confidence - not in the answer - but in the Answerer! (Ps 16.11)
Matthew Henry, great theologian that he was, said this: "From God he (David) expected relief, and he was BIG with expectation. Not doubting but it would come in DUE time. And resolved to continue believing, and hoping, and praying till it did come."

David Crowder - Psalm 50

Praise Habit - this is a very good supplement to one's readings in the Psalms. David Crowder, songwriter extraordinaire - uses The Message and his own devotional thoughts to bring some Psalms to life. It is a creative tool - not to be read without with the Word (not a paraphrase, but a translation) and one's own meditation - but it is a good additive for devotional reading.
I use it in this way. I read the chapter (this morning I was in Psalm 50), and then I read it in the Bible I'm using (for devo time right now it is the NAS), then I write the psalm down in a notebook in literary form and then color it (like a text study). This morning - when paired with my reading and prayer time in Gen 34 - there was quite a contrast.
Here is my question: Is my life hidden in Christ with God (Col 3) or is my life more representative of the wicked as the psalmist described here and as Shechem is described in Gen 34?
Do I "quote his laws like we are good friends" yet fail to live them out by His grace and through the Holy Spirit each day? Do I "treat his words as garbage"? Do I make sinners my buddies ("thieves and adulterers")? Is "lying a serious art form to me, do I frame it with my tongue"? Am I filled with lust and greed (as Shechem was in Gen 34)?
Or is my life reflective of Jesus? Do I walk by the Holy Spirit so I will not gratify the desires of the flesh? Am I hidden in Christ so others do not see me, but only see the God of the Universe? Every bit of my life needs to reflect the One who died on the cross for me - no part of my life is my own. Soften me - Ez 36 - put within me your Spirit so I may live YOU!
Here are some of Crowder's thoughts: "Praise Living. It is God leaning in and shouting I am the Center! and the sum of our lives nodding back in agreement. It is the core of our hearts echoing that statement." "Higher than our ritual is the simple acknowledgment that, in truth, He is what we need." Yesterday, worshipping at a church in Berea, being able to shout the songs being sung (music much like the Summit - Tommy Walker, Hillsong, hymns uptodate) - raising hands in adoration. But, checking my heart to make sure I was doing that for His glory and not my own. "It is more difficult to find the Creator in a bbq sandwich than in your favorite Sunday morning song, but when you do, when you begin to find Him in all the stuff of life, everything starts singing. Every moment breaks into song. Every breath becomes sacrifice, and the songs become sweetness. That is living praise!" (Ps 150)

Change

I've been thinking about this word a lot this week (and its been a long drawn out week for me and its not over). Sunday afternoon I'm looking forward to taking a nap - I think?!
Anyway, I love change. Always have. I rearranged my room growing up all the time because it was something new and exciting - even waking up and seeing a different view. We moved into the house my parents still live in when I was 8 months old. The most exciting change ever in my life growing up was a new school year (I love getting the supply list on orientation day) and vacations - which we either took to Vogel State Park in N Ga or to the Suwanee River. I love both of those places. Big change came in my life in high school when I switched churches. But, then that change was over quickly and became pattern again.
The next big change was going off to college - it was only 2 hours away. Then it was moving to NC for seminary - the biggest change of my life up to that point. But even in the tween time - I moved a lot, youth ministry always has a changing schedule, spontaneous is a good word.
Seminary was great because the dorm was always in change - with new people every semester, friends were your friends for that semester, unless you were graced to find ones that lasted all throughout the years. I switched churches 3 times in seminary - never really being satisfied with any of them. After seminary I moved a lot and found a great church, changed jobs, etc.
I also love to travel and go on mission trips and see friends. That brings about an element of change - something to look forward to - to bring excitement.
This last year brought big change as I moved back to FL for a time. Then I was offered a job here in L-ville, a mission trip to NY, a move to an apt, getting lost in a new city.
Now - I'm in a foreseeable future that has no change in it? Yes, I get bored with that. I guess I can move my furniture around - but there aren't many options for that. Maybe that's why I change the books I read so often...Who knows?
But, I have been learning to take one day at a time, rest in today, grace for today, God's got today and tomorrow all planned out - He will let me know when He sees fit.
This I found written by one of my girls from Anastasia - great stuff! She was reflecting on
Psalm 40.8:
So there we have it. Take joy in doing his will. Trust that his instructions and plans are already in place. All we have to do is rest in that and tap into it. No worries about jobs, who we will marry, where we will live, ect. We get to enjoy the journey. That is really exciting if you think about it. So I am talking joy today. I am tapping into peace today and let it rule my heart, which in return rules all around me.

Ps 27

I have gotten in the habit of waking up, getting some breakfast (whether its homemade waffles or pancakes or a bowl of cereal), sitting down in my big over sized chair, and flipping on my iPod player. This morning was no exception. However, when I woke up, I had no desire to get up and face the day - even though the sun was shining in all of its beauty. I just couldn't figure out how today was going to be any different than yesterday? But, grace for today...right?
So, when I sat down, I skipped some songs and got to one and pressed play.
Ps 27 (don't know the name of it) by Hillsong. I just sat amazed at this psalm - which I fell in love with via Chris Gaynor who quoted it often at the Summit.
Such a precious psalm and one that is loved by me!
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have said, “Seek my face.”My heart says to you,“Your face, Lord, do I seek.” Hide not your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O you who have been my help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation! For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Give me not up to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence. I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Here's a little bit of commentary - not that it needs any:
Lately I've been doing a lot of listening to myself instead of preaching to myself (go read some Jerry Bridges and CJ Mahaney). It has just been a tough couple of days. But, then listening to this - raising my hands to this - singing it this morning (quietly) as I walked through Norton on the way to work. Wait for the Lord and be strong!

The X Factor

I've been in a thinking and writing mood - so that is what brings about so many blogs.
The X Factor (not talking about high school math) - the Unknown Factor...why does it scare me so...why are so many people afraid of it...
I wanna talk about why so many are afraid of the unknown - fearing a life that can be any different than the one they are living now. What if God really worked in the way they wanted Him to? What if God worked in the way that I really wanted Him to?
Trust. Faith. No Fear. Reliance. Faithful. Sovereign.
So, on the ipod right now I've got songs that have to do with trust, faithful, etc. Some of them are the same songs (Tis So Sweet) and then some just have the same themes.
Smalltown Poets, Jeremy Camp, Casting Crowns, etc...
I want to trust in a God so big that He is able to fulfill all my desires just as I would want them. That means that my will must be lost in His - I must be dead.
Let me give up myself, my heart, my desires and trust in a God that has the BIGGER PICTURE in His sight - His Glory.
But, tonight I don't want to use God's glory or His Sovereignty as a cop-out. Please don't hear that. I want to be able to pour out my willing heart to a God who loves me infinitely more than I could ever love Him back.
How God is going to work in our lives though is still an unknown factor. Think of Abraham leaving his land. Think of Moses passing through the Red Sea on dry ground (not even soggy). Think of Paul going to Rome. Think of John the isle of Patmos. Think of Isaiah going to a people who weren't even really going to hear what he had to say. Think of David facing Goliath - not knowing for sure if that rock was going to hit him with enough force.
I just read this on CJ's blog from an Ed Welch book: (Running Scared)
With this in mind, his words should sound attractive, and we should be more and more inclined to listen. We should still like to abolish anxieties quickly, but we are learning that God values strong foundations and gradual growth, and such foundations are established as we feed on him and his words. As we meditate on Scripture and make it our own, we should anticipate slow but steady change. Worriers should be experts in a handful of passages. (p. 147)
How I've proved him over and over - lyrics from Tis So Sweet - Precious Jesus - give me grace to trust you more.
Ps 37.5, 7a: Commit your way to the Lord;trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. He will act - that is a promise!
Ps 40.4a: Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust!
Ps 56.3-4: When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?
Ps 62.8: Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
*****Ps 143.7-8: Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Is 12.2-6: Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song,and he has become my salvation.” With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. And you will say in that day: “Give thanks to the Lord,call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted. “Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be made known in all the earth. Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel!"
*****Dt 7.9: Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.
Is 25.1: O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you; I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things, plans formed of old, faithful and sure.

Its not that my trust is so great - because I cry out - Jesus, help my unbelief and my uncertainty - but that my trust is in a GREAT SAVIOR - one who is eternally faithful and true to Himself - and He can NOT change!

Ps 73 and Rain

On days like today, I must take every though captive and remember God's faithfulness. There is no sun today, only wind and rain. I think it is supposed to be like this all day - and then really like this till the weekend. I am very big on SUN! :) Of course, I do love the sunshine state! I love it, it makes me smile and feel warm. But, on days like today, if it were possible...I would go lie down somewhere and just let the rain fall on me. I love the rain - really I do. I love walking in the rain (as long I don't have to look decent when I arrive where I am going).
But, I've already been dwelling on this Psalm this morning. Ps 73 (really 1, 23-28)
Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.
Every time I think upon this Psalm I get something new (His Word is alive and active), and I am amazed at the mercy of God. The middle part of the Psalm that I left out contains information about the ungodly. Only by God's grace am I saved - his mercy endures forever!
1. Truly God is good. He is - I can bank on it! I love the assurance that I have in that. It may not always be the good I see and want - but God is good - I know His Good is better than my good.
2. God guides me with His (good) counsel. I love that. As long as I seek the face and wisdom of God - I can't go wrong. He is so good and He guides me. I will not be led astray.
3. This is where conviction comes in - NOTHING do I desire besides my God. He is the good that I yearn for, the closeness I crave - He is all that. I presume on his grace if I let other things come in between and become a desire of mine. Lord - take those away!
4. Even on rainy days (both literally and figuratively) I dwell on this verse - the last one. It is one of my favorite in all of Scripture, and definitely of the psalms. But for me (in contrast to the unfaithful and the far and perishing), it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge (not in anything else that I can create or conjure up), that I may tell of all your works. (I really love this last part this morning - that I may TELL of all your works. It isn't mainly or necessarily for my good, or my ease, or comfort, or well-being - but primarily it is for the fame and reknown of God!)
Anyway, I hope my ramblings are good for someone besides me today.

Heaviness of Praise

Today has definitely been an out of the ordinary day. It has been a good day, but one that has brought much heaviness to me. I don't use that word often, but it is really the only way to describe it.
Death, sickness, relationships, friend's struggles, prayer needs, sin, confession, praise - all of that is brought before the Lord.
So, I went to workout and one of the first songs I heard was by Brooklyn Tab - definitely a favorite of mine:
Total Praise - ending with Amen!
Lord, I will lift up my eyes to the hills,
knowing my help is coming from You.
Your peace You give me in time of the storm.
You are the source of my strength,
You are the strength of my life;
I lift up my hands in total praise to You

And then that brought to mind the psalm that the song comes from: Ps 121. I love it. I was able to sing the above song in Southeastern's choir and in the Summit choir - different arrangements, but with the same valuable and life-changing Words (the Word is living and active)

I will lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come? (our help comes from no other place)
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (He is creator)
He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. (He knows what is going on here on earth)
Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. (He provides comfort and stability in times of strife and unknown-ness)
The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. (What harm can come to us that He doesn't know about?)
The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. (He is the grand keeper and sustainer)
The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. (He knows the very hours of our lives and what will happen - that is the blessing of knowing we serve a BIG GOD!)

So, sing loud - even with a heavy heart - He is still a BIG GOD!

Wide World of Wheaton (and Chicago)

Wheaton College has always held a sense of romance to me. Not in the normal sense, but just in a way. Many of my heroes in the faith have gone there and courted and/or married their spouse there. John and Noel Piper, Dr and Mrs. Billy Graham, Jim and Elisabeth Elliot. I wanted to go and walk around the place that they walked - see where they studied.

This weekend Ty was going to be in Chicago, so I went to Wheaton to spend the afternoon. It was about 1 degree with a -15 wind chill. Any part of my body that wasn't covered was frozen (basically my face). But - it was so fun to crunch through the snow. The campus was completely covered in snow and so were the downtown streets of Wheaton. Such a quaint town. That would be a great place to live - close enough to everything Chicago but living in the suburbs. That would be the best of both possible worlds. Living in a town like that but having the wonderful aspects of a huge city right up the street.

I went to the Billy Graham Center - what an amazing display of the gospel and the history of evangelism here in America. They've done a great job. I tried to go to the CS Lewis area, but they closed at 12 on Saturday - I got there about 12:30. Oh, well. Guess that may just mean I have to go back.

I went in the BGC and they had a small chapel. I wanted to go in there and pray, get a sense of further direction for my life. So I kneeled down in the back and was praising and confessing - then just started asking. Not very long later (such a quick answer) I heard a reply - Ps 86.11. It was kind of frustrating - because I already knew that answer, I wanted some specifics. But...I wrote down the three parts of that verse:

1. Teach me your ways O Lord - He always is teaching me through His Word - I just have to read it.

2. That I may walk in your truth - Walk is a daily always lifestyle. Truth - not fantasy, the future, lies, etc. Truth (Phil 4.8, Col 3.1-3)

3. Unite my Heart to Fear Your Name - the only glory in this life that matters is God's - the fame and glory of His name. Why do I fear man so much. God has done an amazing work in my life in the past year re: that but still I have a ways to go.

I went to the bookstore of course, found a John Ensor book on sale - all about the amazingness of the gospel.

Ty and I hung out that night after dinner with the BGC group. We found a Teavana and a Caribou. So thankful that Ty likes Caribou better than Starbucks. Then we went back to watch the Gators finish their win over KY.

It was icy on Sunday morning so I didn't venture out to Harvest Bible Chapel. I stayed in, ate some breakfast, meditated on the Word, quoting Scripture over and over in my head - meditating on truth (living out Ps 86.11), trying to live in the reality of the moment and not get ahead of God.

After Ty's conference was over - we drove around the burbs looking for a Caribou and we found one. Then I dropped her off at O'Hare (very well laid out airport to travel to), then started the trek back home. I talked to two of my girls and listened to football. At least one good team is in the Super Bowl (and I'm not referring to the undefeated one). Come on Giants!

So, what did I learn. Know the truth and fear God. I love Wheaton. Football is great. The Word is so valuable to my growth. Sleep is good. NCAA B-ball is so much fun. Chase what matters.