In light of the title of the book, Collaborate is a collaborative effort by many ministers in the field of children, family, and student ministry to bring the best of the best of their ideas to the table. Chanley, at Southeast in Louisville, KY, put together these short chapters filled with excellent events you can do at your church to help bridge the gap that is evident in ministries and families across America.
Good things about this book:
1. Rob Rienow's chapter. I had read a bulk of the material for since I am familiar with Rob's writings, but it was a good reminder of WHY we do family ministry and WHY THERE IS A NEED for family ministry. The reason this chapter, for me, was the best out of this book is because it is the only one whose main focus was the theological reason behind family ministry. Others definitely drove Deut 6.4-9 into the ground and used that as an imperative for ministry - but Rob opened up the biblical mandate for Family Ministry and parenting and the church and the gospel. Theology, I know, wasn't the main point of this book. And Chanley and others definitely succeded in the aim of this book. (That's why there are multiple books out there, each with its specific niche.)
2. Rob Bradbury encouraged me by his list. Not only will this chapter be helpful as people sit down to plan out events - but he started with the most important, yet most often overlooked element. PRAYER. He listed prayer before advertising. How often to do plan, advertise, talk up, poster-up, get volunteers - even before we pray. At the church I serve, we have even noticed that this is not as big of a focus as we need it to be. So, we are taking many efforts to strengthen our prayer times in staff meetings or in our lives personally. Today, even, stopping in the middle of staff meeting to pray for a lady who walked through our doors during Joy Prom and said she had never (in 62 years, in the South) walked into a church. These are the things that need praying for.
3. Short chapters. I like books with short chapters because I feel like I can plow through a book without having to sit down and read for 2 hours straight. I like being able to end at a chapter, not in the middle of one.
4. Very practical. If you need ideas, or are stuck and uncreative (like I often am), this book will help bring some fresh new ideas from literally around the world to you.
One word of caution with this book: Picking up this book would lead some to believe that is all about activity - or events. Family Ministry is not event driven. It must NOT be. It has to be theology and gospel driven. God can and does use events to draw people to themselves (take Joy Prom for example, or youth camp, or VBS, or Family Fall night, but if it is event driven, we will just fill up a calendar and spend money. If it is gospel-driven - then hopefully God will use the church to make an impact in the lives of families. You can't get your people on board with events unless they know the why behind what you do.
That is my daily challenge. May it be your's as well.
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
True Woman Conference: Nancy Leigh DeMoss (Last Session)
This last session for the Conference is on Deborah:
Judges 4-5
1-3
The stage is set; it describes a cycle that is repeated at least 7 times in Judges:
Disobedience.
Discipline.
Desperation
Deliverance
God’s chosen covenant people were being disobedient. God’s is concerned with the homes of His people. The people of Israel do what is evil in the sight of the Lord. This was a period in the life of Israel of spiritual apostasy, “doing what was right in their own eyes”, they abandoned God and his laws, they pursued after Baal and Canaanite gods.
God sold them – he disciplined them. God in his mercy and love, he gave them up to be oppressed by the enemy. The chastening hand of God. God allows people and instruments to come into our lives to show us where we have disobeyed him.
It took intense discipline over prolonged time (20 years of oppression by the Canaanites) for the Lord to get the attention of His people. This is an amazing demonstration of the longsuffering of God, of his patience and mercy. We will be shown the redeeming hand of God.
v. 4 – Deborah comes in as a judge. Deborah was the answer to the cry of the people. She is utilizing her God-given gifts, living her life for other people, and she was content to fulfill the call of God on her life.
She was a prophetess. She was called and gifted by God to declare His Word to His people.
She was a wife. God inspired this little detail. This was her primary human relationship. She didn’t neglect this relationship.
She was a judge. Judges were people God raised up to rescue his people from their oppressors. God, in his sovereignty, raised this woman up. She just said, ‘”Yes, Lord.”
Deborah first heard from the Lord for herself. Then she gave the message. Deborah didn’t know any better other than just believe what God had said – God would win the battle. There is no doubt here – she is only confident in the Word of God. She had wisdom greater than her own. Today – we need women who know the Word of God. Others will seek us out. They will look for the wisdom that flows through us – the very Words of God.
Deborah agreed to go and arose. She went out of her comfort zone, out of her home; she marched into the face of danger. She went because she was a woman of faith and believed the promises of God. She had no choice but to be involved because God had put a call of God on her life. We get a display of a woman who stands and is strong in the power and Word of God.
God uses foot soldiers and women in this story. God chose the weak to confound the strong. Why? So God would get all the glory. God chooses the needy, helpless, and dependent. We go in the power and grace of the Holy Spirit.
The period of the Judges was not one of strong male leadership. I see Deborah as one who inspires male leadership. Her goal was not to lead but to serve. (5.7) Her heart was a mother. She simply saw herself as a mother – to the troops of Israel. She exuded a nurturing instinct. That is what motivated her, she wasn’t driven by power, position, or prestige – she was driven to be a mother – to sustain and nurture life.
Biblical womanhood looks different in different relationships. Deborah worked to nurture male leadership. She didn’t command Barak to do something – she wasn’t threatening him. She is relaying a message from God. We see Deborah in a responsive, helper role – she went at Barak’s appeal. She is delighted to see men rise up and take leadership. She is delighted to see it happen. When men are inspired to lead, she is happy (5.2). She affirms these men and expresses her gratitude to God. She doesn’t male bash.
Deborah is a woman of faith and courage. The legacy of her life – the men of her day became men. They came forward to fight evil and to defend their wives and children. She wasn’t looking to be the hero of the story. (Heb 11 mentions Barak and not Deborah). We would be totally bent out of shape. Deborah would have been thrilled to see Barak reach that point of faith – a man of great faith. Though she too had faith, in the end, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, it is Barak’s faith that gets listed.
The battle: v 12 – Barak is in a life-threatening position – but Deborah encourages him to move forward in faith. The power of a woman’s word has great influence on a man. Do your words encourage men to be men in whatever realm they are in? Or do they tear him down and make him timid. This isn’t just for your husband, but also for your pastor, your father, your brother, your friends. Our words can either tear up or tear down. Do your words bring fresh new life into the lives of men who are in your circle of influence?
Deborah is not the hero. Barak is not the hero. GOD is the hero. He won the battle. God is the champion of the story of our lives. God is the victorious warrior. We go into battle with that confidence. The battle is the Lord’s. God used human means but he also used supernatural means to win the battle. Jehovah was over this war – and over the false gods. God reminded both the enemy and His people that He is the God over all.
Don’t ever underestimate the power or the grace of God.
Judges 4-5
1-3
The stage is set; it describes a cycle that is repeated at least 7 times in Judges:
Disobedience.
Discipline.
Desperation
Deliverance
God’s chosen covenant people were being disobedient. God’s is concerned with the homes of His people. The people of Israel do what is evil in the sight of the Lord. This was a period in the life of Israel of spiritual apostasy, “doing what was right in their own eyes”, they abandoned God and his laws, they pursued after Baal and Canaanite gods.
God sold them – he disciplined them. God in his mercy and love, he gave them up to be oppressed by the enemy. The chastening hand of God. God allows people and instruments to come into our lives to show us where we have disobeyed him.
It took intense discipline over prolonged time (20 years of oppression by the Canaanites) for the Lord to get the attention of His people. This is an amazing demonstration of the longsuffering of God, of his patience and mercy. We will be shown the redeeming hand of God.
v. 4 – Deborah comes in as a judge. Deborah was the answer to the cry of the people. She is utilizing her God-given gifts, living her life for other people, and she was content to fulfill the call of God on her life.
She was a prophetess. She was called and gifted by God to declare His Word to His people.
She was a wife. God inspired this little detail. This was her primary human relationship. She didn’t neglect this relationship.
She was a judge. Judges were people God raised up to rescue his people from their oppressors. God, in his sovereignty, raised this woman up. She just said, ‘”Yes, Lord.”
Deborah first heard from the Lord for herself. Then she gave the message. Deborah didn’t know any better other than just believe what God had said – God would win the battle. There is no doubt here – she is only confident in the Word of God. She had wisdom greater than her own. Today – we need women who know the Word of God. Others will seek us out. They will look for the wisdom that flows through us – the very Words of God.
Deborah agreed to go and arose. She went out of her comfort zone, out of her home; she marched into the face of danger. She went because she was a woman of faith and believed the promises of God. She had no choice but to be involved because God had put a call of God on her life. We get a display of a woman who stands and is strong in the power and Word of God.
God uses foot soldiers and women in this story. God chose the weak to confound the strong. Why? So God would get all the glory. God chooses the needy, helpless, and dependent. We go in the power and grace of the Holy Spirit.
The period of the Judges was not one of strong male leadership. I see Deborah as one who inspires male leadership. Her goal was not to lead but to serve. (5.7) Her heart was a mother. She simply saw herself as a mother – to the troops of Israel. She exuded a nurturing instinct. That is what motivated her, she wasn’t driven by power, position, or prestige – she was driven to be a mother – to sustain and nurture life.
Biblical womanhood looks different in different relationships. Deborah worked to nurture male leadership. She didn’t command Barak to do something – she wasn’t threatening him. She is relaying a message from God. We see Deborah in a responsive, helper role – she went at Barak’s appeal. She is delighted to see men rise up and take leadership. She is delighted to see it happen. When men are inspired to lead, she is happy (5.2). She affirms these men and expresses her gratitude to God. She doesn’t male bash.
Deborah is a woman of faith and courage. The legacy of her life – the men of her day became men. They came forward to fight evil and to defend their wives and children. She wasn’t looking to be the hero of the story. (Heb 11 mentions Barak and not Deborah). We would be totally bent out of shape. Deborah would have been thrilled to see Barak reach that point of faith – a man of great faith. Though she too had faith, in the end, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, it is Barak’s faith that gets listed.
The battle: v 12 – Barak is in a life-threatening position – but Deborah encourages him to move forward in faith. The power of a woman’s word has great influence on a man. Do your words encourage men to be men in whatever realm they are in? Or do they tear him down and make him timid. This isn’t just for your husband, but also for your pastor, your father, your brother, your friends. Our words can either tear up or tear down. Do your words bring fresh new life into the lives of men who are in your circle of influence?
Deborah is not the hero. Barak is not the hero. GOD is the hero. He won the battle. God is the champion of the story of our lives. God is the victorious warrior. We go into battle with that confidence. The battle is the Lord’s. God used human means but he also used supernatural means to win the battle. Jehovah was over this war – and over the false gods. God reminded both the enemy and His people that He is the God over all.
Don’t ever underestimate the power or the grace of God.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
True Woman Conference Chattanooga - Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Titus 3 reminds us that we ourselves were once foolish, slaves, hating one another. Do we ever see ourselves in that light? We will never love the gospel enough until we see ourselves as great sinners. And thankfully there is the next verse – he saved us – not because of our works, but according to his own mercy.
First, the context of Titus. Titus 1: Titus’ culture looked much like ours: Titus 1.10ff. God has a solution: the gospel. How does that gospel get into the culture? How does the light penetrate the darkness? God has raised up the church, the redeemed.
Paul is talking to a young man who was called to lead the local church: be above reproach, teach in accordance with sound doctrine. In Titus 2, Paul calls all believers are to do the same thing. Our lives are to be above reproach, different from the world, transformed from the inside out from the power of the gospel, they are to be distinctive. The gospel is supposed to make a difference in our lives. Sadly, this is often not the case. Paul insists that they way to transform a lost culture is to live out the truths of the Word. This is why Paul tells Titus to preach sound doctrine.
Paul gives declaratives to each demographic in life: what constitutes older women? Every woman is an older woman to someone – and we should all be aspiring to this position. We see the life and the legacy of this woman. Our lives are to be above reproach. We need to be reverent in behavior – exhibit behavior for those who are holy. We are not slanders nor slaves to much wine. This above reproach-ness affects every area of our lives. One area is slaves to much wine: (not only specifically to wine, but also to an indulgent lifestyle). God wants to change every bit about me – that includes not living my life for myself.
Their legacy: to train the young women. We cannot train others what we have not learned ourselves. We will not be effective teaching what others have not seen lived out in our lives. We need to teach out of brokenness. We need to take the younger women into our lives: let them see how the Lord of the Gospel is daily changing our lives. We are to pass on the baton of faith for the glory of Jesus.
This teaching takes place in the context of community. Life on life. Teach what is good and so train the younger women. If you have had truth poured into you, then you are to turn around and pour it out into the lives of younger women. (This role is not reserved for the Kay Arthurs, Beth Moores, and Anne Lotzes.) We have the curriculum spelled out for us in Titus 2.3ff. 7 radical, swimming-against-the- culture-lessons. It is God’s way. This is how life is to work.
What is not on this list: prayer, Bible reading, personal devotional life, evangelism. These are important but they are not on the “must” list. Career and doing ministry are not on this list. We need to focus on this list. We see the importance of the home on this list. The norm for most women is to be wives and mothers – this is the primary sphere where most live out the gospel. We also see the priority of love: the love of Christ. We can’t claim to love God if we don’t love our husbands or our children. It doesn’t matter what the other women in the church see in you – it matters what your family sees in you. If we don’t know how to love our husbands and children – we can learn.
Our lives are supposed to be counter-culture. Culture is characterized by pride, gluttony, rebellion, hatred, impurity, etc. That is what this world is like. Can they see a difference in us?
We need to live above reproach.
We need to be intentional about passing on the faith.
We need to be reverent in behavior.
We speak words that build up.
We are not slaves to much wine. We do not live for our flesh.
We are to love our husbands and value the permanence of marriage.
We are to love our children.
We are to be self-controlled. (a sophron state of mind)
We are to be pure.
We are to love our home – be homemakers.
We are to be kind and other-centered.
We are to have a submissive heart attitude.
How well does your life, does my life, reflect the grace of God – a woman who has been transformed and redeemed by the Blood of Christ. Our culture is so absent of the items in the above list. I want to be defined by the things on this list – even while single. I want to love my home. I want to be kind and gracious to people in my speech. I want to have a submissive spirit to the godly, male authority in my life in the relationships with my pastors, my boss, and my father. I want to be pure in every area of my life. I do not want to indulge.
So that the world will have nothing negative to say about me.
So that that the Word of God will not be misaligned.
So that I might adorn the gospel – that the focus would not be on me.
By the power of the Gospel. (Titus 2.11)
First, the context of Titus. Titus 1: Titus’ culture looked much like ours: Titus 1.10ff. God has a solution: the gospel. How does that gospel get into the culture? How does the light penetrate the darkness? God has raised up the church, the redeemed.
Paul is talking to a young man who was called to lead the local church: be above reproach, teach in accordance with sound doctrine. In Titus 2, Paul calls all believers are to do the same thing. Our lives are to be above reproach, different from the world, transformed from the inside out from the power of the gospel, they are to be distinctive. The gospel is supposed to make a difference in our lives. Sadly, this is often not the case. Paul insists that they way to transform a lost culture is to live out the truths of the Word. This is why Paul tells Titus to preach sound doctrine.
Paul gives declaratives to each demographic in life: what constitutes older women? Every woman is an older woman to someone – and we should all be aspiring to this position. We see the life and the legacy of this woman. Our lives are to be above reproach. We need to be reverent in behavior – exhibit behavior for those who are holy. We are not slanders nor slaves to much wine. This above reproach-ness affects every area of our lives. One area is slaves to much wine: (not only specifically to wine, but also to an indulgent lifestyle). God wants to change every bit about me – that includes not living my life for myself.
Their legacy: to train the young women. We cannot train others what we have not learned ourselves. We will not be effective teaching what others have not seen lived out in our lives. We need to teach out of brokenness. We need to take the younger women into our lives: let them see how the Lord of the Gospel is daily changing our lives. We are to pass on the baton of faith for the glory of Jesus.
This teaching takes place in the context of community. Life on life. Teach what is good and so train the younger women. If you have had truth poured into you, then you are to turn around and pour it out into the lives of younger women. (This role is not reserved for the Kay Arthurs, Beth Moores, and Anne Lotzes.) We have the curriculum spelled out for us in Titus 2.3ff. 7 radical, swimming-against-the- culture-lessons. It is God’s way. This is how life is to work.
What is not on this list: prayer, Bible reading, personal devotional life, evangelism. These are important but they are not on the “must” list. Career and doing ministry are not on this list. We need to focus on this list. We see the importance of the home on this list. The norm for most women is to be wives and mothers – this is the primary sphere where most live out the gospel. We also see the priority of love: the love of Christ. We can’t claim to love God if we don’t love our husbands or our children. It doesn’t matter what the other women in the church see in you – it matters what your family sees in you. If we don’t know how to love our husbands and children – we can learn.
Our lives are supposed to be counter-culture. Culture is characterized by pride, gluttony, rebellion, hatred, impurity, etc. That is what this world is like. Can they see a difference in us?
We need to live above reproach.
We need to be intentional about passing on the faith.
We need to be reverent in behavior.
We speak words that build up.
We are not slaves to much wine. We do not live for our flesh.
We are to love our husbands and value the permanence of marriage.
We are to love our children.
We are to be self-controlled. (a sophron state of mind)
We are to be pure.
We are to love our home – be homemakers.
We are to be kind and other-centered.
We are to have a submissive heart attitude.
How well does your life, does my life, reflect the grace of God – a woman who has been transformed and redeemed by the Blood of Christ. Our culture is so absent of the items in the above list. I want to be defined by the things on this list – even while single. I want to love my home. I want to be kind and gracious to people in my speech. I want to have a submissive spirit to the godly, male authority in my life in the relationships with my pastors, my boss, and my father. I want to be pure in every area of my life. I do not want to indulge.
So that the world will have nothing negative to say about me.
So that that the Word of God will not be misaligned.
So that I might adorn the gospel – that the focus would not be on me.
By the power of the Gospel. (Titus 2.11)
True Woman Conference Chattanooga: Voddie Baucham
True Woman Conference Sessions 1: Voddie Baucham
Dr. Baucham is a pastor in Spring, Texas and an author, a husband, and a father. The first time I heard him speak live was at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary to a packed house – he brought it. Tonight he is speaking to a group of women of all ages – about 2400 of us. Different audience, same Truth. Tonight, the truth is coming from Titus 1-2.
“Set our heart’s affection on you – speak to us clearly and powerfully through your Word." - Amen
From True Woman Manifesto: God’s Plan for gender is wider than marriage; all women, whether married or single, are to model femininity in their various relationship, by exhibiting a distinctive modesty , responsiveness, and gentleness of spirit. (Lord – make this so in my life.)
Mature Christian women have a responsibility to leave a legacy of faith, by discipling younger women in the Word and ways of God and modeling for the next generation lives of fruitful femininity.
God gives us a picture in Titus 1 and 2 of what he has provided for our sanctification – the way he shapes our lives as believers. There are three principle tools here:
a. Godly mature men and women in the church.
b. Godly manly elders and pastors
c. Biblically functioning homes
Titus 2 – Godly mature men and women in the church. This is for our discipleship and growth in Christ. Older men are to be. Older women are to likewise be. Godly, mature, character. This isn’t automatic for people who are older – this is character that is formed over time and is the fruit of sanctification. This is the picture of character forged over time. We, as women, have a unique power in our tongue – to build up and to tear down. The older women are exemplified in the way we use our speech. The picture painted here is the result of the years of walking with God and being transformed by the gospel – she opens her mouth and wisdom comes out (Prov 31, Gal 4, Dt 31), speaking God’s truth. This isn’t a picture of a woman who teaches Bible studies (primarily) – but is speaking of a woman who has poured her life into the lives of women through intentional relationships. The younger women need older women to teach them to love their husbands and children. That the Word of God might not be reviled. When older women are not about the task of teaching younger women – we are not rightly living out the gospel. If we are following the ways of a culture that denies biblical manhood and womanhood, then I am marring the picture of Christ and his Church. His honor is being defamed. These things need to be taught. The older women have such a crucial role in the life of the church. And when we blame our disobedience on our circumstances: we are putting our circumstances above the Word of God.
Titus 1: Godly manly elders and pastors. The list in Titus 1 is primarily for pastors and elders, but Titus 1 is for all men – here is why:
There is no list in Titus 2.
Pastors are called in 1 Peter 5.3 to be examples to the flock. If he has a list of qualifications that aren’t applicable to the rest of the flock – then how can he be an example.
There isn’t anything in this list that we would give up for our sons – that we would not want our sons to be. Above reproach. Godly kids. Not arrogant. But hospitable. Hold firm to
the Truth (not a heretic). (Just to name a few.)
Titus 1: Biblically functioning homes. Titus 1.10 – “for” – there are many who are upsetting whole families.”
The primary discipling unit is the home. Eph 6.1-4. Children, parents, fathers – Dt 6, Ps 78, Proverbs – the home is the place of instruction for our children. Child is born. Child is born into a home with a mother and father who know and love God. They understand biblical womanhood and manhood, understand marriage as a picture of the gospel, and they give sound doctrine throughout the life of that child, they take that child to a healthy church where he hears thundering gospel from the pulpit. The pastor echoes what this child has heard in his home, the gray-haired folks in the church echo what this child has learned in his home. That is the picture.
On a personal note: I do not live in the ideal. I am not ideal: I sin. I fall short of the glory of God. I do have great older women, pastors, and families who model Titus 1 and 2 for me. I pray that as I grow older, the Lord continues to put younger women in my life that I can pour into – that I can speak grace and truth to. Lord – make my speech a display of your glorious Gospel.
When we don’t have all the pieces of this puzzle – be grateful before you get mad at the Lord. Be grateful for the grace in your life of what you do have. Repent of the sin that is in our lives that keep us from having the ideal. We live in a fallen world – always affected by either our sin or someone else’s sin. Repent of the anger, the bitterness, the lies, the unforgiveness. Be God’s, live and walk in the Truth of the Word and the light of the Gospel.
Dr. Baucham is a pastor in Spring, Texas and an author, a husband, and a father. The first time I heard him speak live was at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary to a packed house – he brought it. Tonight he is speaking to a group of women of all ages – about 2400 of us. Different audience, same Truth. Tonight, the truth is coming from Titus 1-2.
“Set our heart’s affection on you – speak to us clearly and powerfully through your Word." - Amen
From True Woman Manifesto: God’s Plan for gender is wider than marriage; all women, whether married or single, are to model femininity in their various relationship, by exhibiting a distinctive modesty , responsiveness, and gentleness of spirit. (Lord – make this so in my life.)
Mature Christian women have a responsibility to leave a legacy of faith, by discipling younger women in the Word and ways of God and modeling for the next generation lives of fruitful femininity.
God gives us a picture in Titus 1 and 2 of what he has provided for our sanctification – the way he shapes our lives as believers. There are three principle tools here:
a. Godly mature men and women in the church.
b. Godly manly elders and pastors
c. Biblically functioning homes
Titus 2 – Godly mature men and women in the church. This is for our discipleship and growth in Christ. Older men are to be. Older women are to likewise be. Godly, mature, character. This isn’t automatic for people who are older – this is character that is formed over time and is the fruit of sanctification. This is the picture of character forged over time. We, as women, have a unique power in our tongue – to build up and to tear down. The older women are exemplified in the way we use our speech. The picture painted here is the result of the years of walking with God and being transformed by the gospel – she opens her mouth and wisdom comes out (Prov 31, Gal 4, Dt 31), speaking God’s truth. This isn’t a picture of a woman who teaches Bible studies (primarily) – but is speaking of a woman who has poured her life into the lives of women through intentional relationships. The younger women need older women to teach them to love their husbands and children. That the Word of God might not be reviled. When older women are not about the task of teaching younger women – we are not rightly living out the gospel. If we are following the ways of a culture that denies biblical manhood and womanhood, then I am marring the picture of Christ and his Church. His honor is being defamed. These things need to be taught. The older women have such a crucial role in the life of the church. And when we blame our disobedience on our circumstances: we are putting our circumstances above the Word of God.
Titus 1: Godly manly elders and pastors. The list in Titus 1 is primarily for pastors and elders, but Titus 1 is for all men – here is why:
There is no list in Titus 2.
Pastors are called in 1 Peter 5.3 to be examples to the flock. If he has a list of qualifications that aren’t applicable to the rest of the flock – then how can he be an example.
There isn’t anything in this list that we would give up for our sons – that we would not want our sons to be. Above reproach. Godly kids. Not arrogant. But hospitable. Hold firm to
the Truth (not a heretic). (Just to name a few.)
Titus 1: Biblically functioning homes. Titus 1.10 – “for” – there are many who are upsetting whole families.”
The primary discipling unit is the home. Eph 6.1-4. Children, parents, fathers – Dt 6, Ps 78, Proverbs – the home is the place of instruction for our children. Child is born. Child is born into a home with a mother and father who know and love God. They understand biblical womanhood and manhood, understand marriage as a picture of the gospel, and they give sound doctrine throughout the life of that child, they take that child to a healthy church where he hears thundering gospel from the pulpit. The pastor echoes what this child has heard in his home, the gray-haired folks in the church echo what this child has learned in his home. That is the picture.
On a personal note: I do not live in the ideal. I am not ideal: I sin. I fall short of the glory of God. I do have great older women, pastors, and families who model Titus 1 and 2 for me. I pray that as I grow older, the Lord continues to put younger women in my life that I can pour into – that I can speak grace and truth to. Lord – make my speech a display of your glorious Gospel.
When we don’t have all the pieces of this puzzle – be grateful before you get mad at the Lord. Be grateful for the grace in your life of what you do have. Repent of the sin that is in our lives that keep us from having the ideal. We live in a fallen world – always affected by either our sin or someone else’s sin. Repent of the anger, the bitterness, the lies, the unforgiveness. Be God’s, live and walk in the Truth of the Word and the light of the Gospel.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Personal Reflections on Counsel From the Cross (Elyse Fitzpatrick)
There are a few women authors who I love: Mary Kassian, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Carolyn McCulley and Mahaney, Francine Rivers, Melanie Jetschke, and this one: Elyse Fitzpatrick. These women all write with a focus on the cross.
None more than this book. This book is meant to be used as a tool in how to counsel those who come to you for help - but also can be used to preach the gospel to yourself.
I've been reading it this semester with a friend of mine, Becca, and it has been a tool that has shaped both of us (I'm thankful that she gave it to me as a bday gift).
One of the biggest truths this book has made me realize is that I don't love very well: honestly and truly love faithfully. It is so hard to love without wanting anything in return or loving those who don't love me. Bring in the gospel: I can't do it - but the Cross is big enough to love through me.
"The Bible also mentions another conduit through which the Father pours his mercy and power into the hearts of his children: deep, meaningful fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the church." (47) As I get ready to leave Louisville after 2.7 years I look back at the relationships I have here. Many women have played a crucial part in my sanctification here: Laura D, Bonnie M, Becca B, Cynthia B, Shana S, Tracy H, Aarica M, Rayann J, Brandi L, Sarah V, Sarah M, Sarah M, Amber P, Lindsay W. But, I also look forward to the women who are in Raleigh who will also (and have) played an important role in my sanctification: Rach W, Sarah M, Tina W, Clariss B, Bonnie B, Vern G, Erin H, Maggie M, Steph C, and I look forward to new girls I will meet there. Also, I think about the wider body of Christ and how women all over have played a role in my sanctification: Phyllis R, Mom, Nena T, Kathy K, Lisa M, Laura M, Janel B, Mary K, Jaye M. What I'm trying to say is: God uses women in my life - not just in the life of the local body of believers - to have a real sanctifying power on my life - because they are rooted in the Gospel too! Thank you to these women and I can't wait to live more of life with each of you!
"In a profound sense, we have been given only two commands: to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus affirms that all other directives in Scripture depend on these two and provide commentary on what it means to love God supremely and to love others as we love ourselves. Just these two simple commands, and yet, every sin we commit finds its genesis in a failure to obey one of the other or both." (55)
And there you have it: the root of all SIN.
"When we don't love others, we will fear them too. We will fear what they might think of us, say about us, or do to us. Our fear will enslave us; we will be tied to their opinions, wants, and demands. Without fervent love driving and informing all our relationships, we will constantly swing back and forth between slavish, joyless servitude (motivated by guilt and self-love) and self-sufficiency and anger (motivated by pride and self-love)." (56)
"Do you _____? If so, you are missing the gospel; you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but God graciously chose you when there wasn't one drop of grace in your soul and nothing to recommend you to him." (77) - Total depravity and Unconditional Election - gotta love the truths of Scripture!
"Gospel-centered counseling is counseling based on Scripture that defines us as God does and then applies both gospel declarations and gospel obligations to every sin problem we encounter." (93) This is so different than much "Christian counseling" today.
"We will never be truly free from self-condemnation and the desire for approval until we grasp this fact. We were so sinful we had to die. Personal reformation won't help. We need death." (94).
This is a big area in which I struggle - need to always preach the gospel to myself every day: "If the message of the gospel does not inform every thought, word, and deed, our striving to put off and put on will disintegrate into another way to gain the approval of others, ourselves, and even the Lord." (108)
One area I struggle in is fear of man - ongoing but Christ is slowly changing it. "Because of His sinless life, we can stop worrying about our reputation or trying to make ourselves look good in the eyes of others. We are sinful and flawed but loved and welcomed. We have been counted righteous." (137)
This is something I desperately need to act upon: "He loves us because he chooses to love us, and the depth of our defection from him should produce in us great humility, gratitude, and patience with others' failures." (153)
The past 2 years (almost) I've been in churches that practice Communion every week. That has been some of the BEST of Louisville: "How frequently do we fail to remember him, even during the Lord's Supper, because we are so focused on our glory story that the story of the cross seems weak, passe, and hackneyed? All we are called to do is to remember, and we can't even do that." (174)
This is another book to read - maybe in light of Easter - that is soon approaching!
None more than this book. This book is meant to be used as a tool in how to counsel those who come to you for help - but also can be used to preach the gospel to yourself.
I've been reading it this semester with a friend of mine, Becca, and it has been a tool that has shaped both of us (I'm thankful that she gave it to me as a bday gift).
One of the biggest truths this book has made me realize is that I don't love very well: honestly and truly love faithfully. It is so hard to love without wanting anything in return or loving those who don't love me. Bring in the gospel: I can't do it - but the Cross is big enough to love through me.
"The Bible also mentions another conduit through which the Father pours his mercy and power into the hearts of his children: deep, meaningful fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the church." (47) As I get ready to leave Louisville after 2.7 years I look back at the relationships I have here. Many women have played a crucial part in my sanctification here: Laura D, Bonnie M, Becca B, Cynthia B, Shana S, Tracy H, Aarica M, Rayann J, Brandi L, Sarah V, Sarah M, Sarah M, Amber P, Lindsay W. But, I also look forward to the women who are in Raleigh who will also (and have) played an important role in my sanctification: Rach W, Sarah M, Tina W, Clariss B, Bonnie B, Vern G, Erin H, Maggie M, Steph C, and I look forward to new girls I will meet there. Also, I think about the wider body of Christ and how women all over have played a role in my sanctification: Phyllis R, Mom, Nena T, Kathy K, Lisa M, Laura M, Janel B, Mary K, Jaye M. What I'm trying to say is: God uses women in my life - not just in the life of the local body of believers - to have a real sanctifying power on my life - because they are rooted in the Gospel too! Thank you to these women and I can't wait to live more of life with each of you!
"In a profound sense, we have been given only two commands: to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus affirms that all other directives in Scripture depend on these two and provide commentary on what it means to love God supremely and to love others as we love ourselves. Just these two simple commands, and yet, every sin we commit finds its genesis in a failure to obey one of the other or both." (55)
And there you have it: the root of all SIN.
"When we don't love others, we will fear them too. We will fear what they might think of us, say about us, or do to us. Our fear will enslave us; we will be tied to their opinions, wants, and demands. Without fervent love driving and informing all our relationships, we will constantly swing back and forth between slavish, joyless servitude (motivated by guilt and self-love) and self-sufficiency and anger (motivated by pride and self-love)." (56)
"Do you _____? If so, you are missing the gospel; you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, but God graciously chose you when there wasn't one drop of grace in your soul and nothing to recommend you to him." (77) - Total depravity and Unconditional Election - gotta love the truths of Scripture!
"Gospel-centered counseling is counseling based on Scripture that defines us as God does and then applies both gospel declarations and gospel obligations to every sin problem we encounter." (93) This is so different than much "Christian counseling" today.
"We will never be truly free from self-condemnation and the desire for approval until we grasp this fact. We were so sinful we had to die. Personal reformation won't help. We need death." (94).
This is a big area in which I struggle - need to always preach the gospel to myself every day: "If the message of the gospel does not inform every thought, word, and deed, our striving to put off and put on will disintegrate into another way to gain the approval of others, ourselves, and even the Lord." (108)
One area I struggle in is fear of man - ongoing but Christ is slowly changing it. "Because of His sinless life, we can stop worrying about our reputation or trying to make ourselves look good in the eyes of others. We are sinful and flawed but loved and welcomed. We have been counted righteous." (137)
This is something I desperately need to act upon: "He loves us because he chooses to love us, and the depth of our defection from him should produce in us great humility, gratitude, and patience with others' failures." (153)
The past 2 years (almost) I've been in churches that practice Communion every week. That has been some of the BEST of Louisville: "How frequently do we fail to remember him, even during the Lord's Supper, because we are so focused on our glory story that the story of the cross seems weak, passe, and hackneyed? All we are called to do is to remember, and we can't even do that." (174)
This is another book to read - maybe in light of Easter - that is soon approaching!
Friday, March 05, 2010
Cleavage and Pencil Skirts on the Toy Aisle
Well...the doll industry has done it again.
Mattel, the leading industry icon for all things doll, including Barbie, has chose to market these new dolls to young girls.
Here are some things this doll can teach impressionable young pre-teen and pre-adolescent girls:
1. You are what you look like.
2. It doesn't matter how you dress
3. The work force is the place for you (whatever work one might be doing dressed like that)
4. You can get where you want to in life as long as you dress immodestly.
That is just the beginning, but I'll leave it at that.
Moms (especially), Dads, childrens pastors, babysitters...anyone...please read this...
Our girls live in an age that is dangerous for them and their eyes and ears. I was visiting with a friend last night and had the Disney channel on for most of the evening. I couldn't believe the shows that were on, what they were wearing, how they talked to their parents, the topics of their conversations....
The magazine aisle or the checkout aisle is dangerous because of the scantily scad stars or models that boast the front page.
The bookstores are dangerous for the same reason.
The malls are dangerous because of stores like Victoria Secrets and even places like Rue 21 and other stores that sell mostly teen, pre-teen clothing.
What I am not saying is to guard your child so much that she never sees the outside of your home. I'm not saying that you should never let your daughter go to the mall, go to Barnes and Noble or shop at Toys 'R' Us again.
What I am saying is this:
1. Amazingly show your daughter that the gospel is more important in her life than what she looks like.
2. Dads (especially) tell your daughter that she is beautiful. The other day I was eating dinner with friends, and probably heard this statement 5 times in a matter of 3 hours. This Dad's daughter was only 15 months or so (about) but she already knew that she was cherished by her Daddy. Priceless.
3. Teach your daughter biblical principles for attire. We don't have hem line measurements in Scripture, but we do have principles.
4. Shop with your daughters and walk them through things that might not be appropriate and tell them why.
5. Be involved in your daughter's life so she can come to you with her questions and her inadequacies and know that you care and love her.
6. Give your daughter a biblical world view of the gospel, her created self made in the image of the one true God, her role as woman, her spirit and heart that matter more than what she looks like on the outside.
Here are some Scriptures that teach on the above principles to pour over your daughter (maybe on a mom/daughter date night, or a wknd away, or just a morning breakfast of her fave pancakes): Gen 1:26-28; 1 Peter 3; Prov 7 (of how not to be); Prov 31 (of how to be); Col 3, 4; Gal 6.14; Prov 4.23.
Here are some books that might help you as well:
Girls Gone Wise - Mary Kassian (coming soon)
Your Girl - Vicki Courtney
Girl Talk - Mahaneys
Lies Young Women Believe - Nancy Leigh Demoss
Happily Ever After - Inquest Ministries
Talk with your daughter. Don't let the images that Mattel and other worldly manufacturers distribute be chiseled in their minds. The gospel is better.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Shepherded
A friend said to me last night, "Isn't it nice to be shepherded?"
YES - a resounding YES.
I haven't thought of the past few months - or even 2 years - in this term, but that is what has been happening in my life. I have had certain people come alongside me and encourage me, speak TRUTH into my life (exactly when I need it), care for me, spur me on, wish for me to succeed, pray for/with me, love me, and also realize that I'm stupid and listen to other voices.
Jesus talks a lot about sheep, and shepherds. I really liked this blog post from FL pastor, Timmy Brister: "Every one of Jesus’ sheep are safe and secure in the grip of the Good Shepherd who put the choke hold on death and crushed the head of the serpent."
I always need shepherding - but not everyone is a shepherd, and I'm not easily shepherded. There have been pastors in my life who have been shepherds, and I look forward to having 2 more. These pastors have also been friends of mine, and for that I am grateful.
Most of the time I need shepherding is when I listen to other things and am being stupid: and for me, that is most of the time fear of man - I listen to that dude a lot. But, when people come alongside me and remind me that life is not about man, or you - but ultimately it is about the gospel - that is what I need to hear. That is when I need to be shepherded.
But, also another aspect of a shepherd is the ability to love. I love being prized and delighted in. It is amazing that people would do that to/for me. It doesn't happen often. Its an odd thing: receiving love and/or praise. It is very hard for me to receive praise from just anyone - because I don't trust the sincerity of it. Most of the time words of praise have to be matched with action. But, being delighted in - just because of who you are and the gospel story that is on display in your life - that is amazing. When God brings someone into your life that delights in you - cherish it.
Being delighted in helps you to see the God in you, helps you to see the God in others, and increases your chance to succeed in ministry. Because, ultimately, again, its not about you - its about God. God living in you, God redeeming you, God shepherding you, God cherishing you, God loving the world, God shaping you, God refining you, God making you in right standing before Him, God being God.
Two verses on shepherding:
Psalm 100.3 - "Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, we are His. We are his people and the sheep of His pasture."
John 10.11, 27 - "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them; they follow me."
I am thankful for earthly shepherded who reflect the love of the Good Shepherd to me in their guidance, delighting, and shepherding.
Who is your earthly shepherd?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
D6 Conference Coming Soon!
If you are in ministry with youth, children, families: you don't want to miss this coming conference.
Rob Rienow: Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL
Steve Wright: Rethink and ApParent Privilege author, Student Pastor at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC
Randy Stinson: Dean, School of Church Ministries at SBTS, President for Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
http://www.youtube.com/user/RandallHouse
Rob Rienow: Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL
Steve Wright: Rethink and ApParent Privilege author, Student Pastor at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC
Randy Stinson: Dean, School of Church Ministries at SBTS, President for Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
From the Pen of Rob Rienow: Parenting and the Church
More reading - and passing along the nuggets of truth to you.
I have just finished 3 books by the same author: Rob Rienow, founder (with his wife, Amy) of Visionary Parenting and Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL. I have spoken with Rob about ministry and then got to meet him and hear him teach a class at his church in January.
The three books that I have read are:
God's Grand Vision for the Home
Passing the Torch (just two chapters in a multi-author book)
Visionary Parenting (if I just got one, get this one)
Here are some valuable quotes from him and some personal thoughts:
"delegation parenting" - Love this term. It is what a lot of parents in the world today, even in the church, do to get someone else to teach, train, or discipline, or even just be friends with, their kids.
"What am I doing daily with this power and responsibility to impress the hearts of my kids with a love for God?"
"We need to set the example for our kids by putting ourselves under the authority of the Bible, allowing it to speak to our hearts, and letting our kids us talk about it." Honestly, I didn't grow up with this in the home. I went to a Christian school and church, but didn't have it spoken of much in the home. Not till I went to college and built a relationship with my mentor did this become a reality to me.
"Generation after generation have failed to win the souls of their children." I have spent the last month in the Old Testament. Many times, even in those genealogies many of us skip over, it speaks of the generations and if the sons followed after the fathers. Lineage, genealogy, and faith were very important to the Israelites.
"Christians (begin) to reflect the secular culture." When did we do this? Sad but true. We do it in parenting, in clothing, in books/movies. We are called out from the world, a chosen people, a royal priesthood. Back in seminary I had a square postcard on my closet door: The Church is not called to reflect the world, but to change it.
"At the heart of the advance of the Gospel is the call to parents to impress the hearts of their children with a love for God and for His Word." How does your own life reflect this love? Not only to your children, but also to your co-workers, your extended family, and people you meet in line at the grocery store?
"No one can compete with the power a parent has to shape the heart of a child. Your power to bless your children, to build character in their hearts, and to lead them to faith in Jesus Christ." See the first quote. The last two episodes of Criminal Minds - by far my favorite show on television - has been about the influence of fathers over their sons. Powerful stuff!
"God never calls us to do something and then abandons us when we seek to be obedient." This may be helpful to you in any situation you are facing right now. I've had to remind myself of this very thing as I get anxious about some changes coming in my life. God is so much more faithful to us than we could ever be to Him. He will not leave you!
"Our kids will remember who we are at home for more than what we accomplish in our work and activities outside our home."
"One of the subtle ways the enemy pulls parents away from their primary life mission of passing faith to their children is to get them over-involved at church." Wow. This was a power statement for me.
If you are a parent, work with parents, want to be a parent, know any parents (yes, I think that could just about include everyone who reads this blog), pick up these books. I think Visionary Parenting is a good overview and very convicting. These books have great theology, are packed with personal experience, advice, and practical tips, and are loaded with Scripture.
I have just finished 3 books by the same author: Rob Rienow, founder (with his wife, Amy) of Visionary Parenting and Family Pastor at Wheaton Bible Church in Wheaton, IL. I have spoken with Rob about ministry and then got to meet him and hear him teach a class at his church in January.
The three books that I have read are:
God's Grand Vision for the Home
Passing the Torch (just two chapters in a multi-author book)
Visionary Parenting (if I just got one, get this one)
Here are some valuable quotes from him and some personal thoughts:
"delegation parenting" - Love this term. It is what a lot of parents in the world today, even in the church, do to get someone else to teach, train, or discipline, or even just be friends with, their kids.
"What am I doing daily with this power and responsibility to impress the hearts of my kids with a love for God?"
"We need to set the example for our kids by putting ourselves under the authority of the Bible, allowing it to speak to our hearts, and letting our kids us talk about it." Honestly, I didn't grow up with this in the home. I went to a Christian school and church, but didn't have it spoken of much in the home. Not till I went to college and built a relationship with my mentor did this become a reality to me.
"Generation after generation have failed to win the souls of their children." I have spent the last month in the Old Testament. Many times, even in those genealogies many of us skip over, it speaks of the generations and if the sons followed after the fathers. Lineage, genealogy, and faith were very important to the Israelites.
"Christians (begin) to reflect the secular culture." When did we do this? Sad but true. We do it in parenting, in clothing, in books/movies. We are called out from the world, a chosen people, a royal priesthood. Back in seminary I had a square postcard on my closet door: The Church is not called to reflect the world, but to change it.
"At the heart of the advance of the Gospel is the call to parents to impress the hearts of their children with a love for God and for His Word." How does your own life reflect this love? Not only to your children, but also to your co-workers, your extended family, and people you meet in line at the grocery store?
"No one can compete with the power a parent has to shape the heart of a child. Your power to bless your children, to build character in their hearts, and to lead them to faith in Jesus Christ." See the first quote. The last two episodes of Criminal Minds - by far my favorite show on television - has been about the influence of fathers over their sons. Powerful stuff!
"God never calls us to do something and then abandons us when we seek to be obedient." This may be helpful to you in any situation you are facing right now. I've had to remind myself of this very thing as I get anxious about some changes coming in my life. God is so much more faithful to us than we could ever be to Him. He will not leave you!
"Our kids will remember who we are at home for more than what we accomplish in our work and activities outside our home."
"One of the subtle ways the enemy pulls parents away from their primary life mission of passing faith to their children is to get them over-involved at church." Wow. This was a power statement for me.
If you are a parent, work with parents, want to be a parent, know any parents (yes, I think that could just about include everyone who reads this blog), pick up these books. I think Visionary Parenting is a good overview and very convicting. These books have great theology, are packed with personal experience, advice, and practical tips, and are loaded with Scripture.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Book Review: Perspectives on Family Ministry
I went to First Baptist Church, Plant City, FL for most of my high school years. Tommy Warnock had such an amazing impact on my life in areas of discipleship, leadership, and missions. His faithfulness in ministry and love for others was contagious. I'm so glad God put me there; much of the future of my life was rooted in that one decision to go to that church.
Time span: 1995 (graduation) to 2010 (now). I have grown in knowledge of the Word and the turns and styles of ministry. Being in many churches since high school graduation and attending seminary, and now working at a seminary has definitely had an impact on how I think about and am active in ministry.
This book highlights one of the latest "styles" in how to do children and youth ministry. 5-10 years ago no one would have had a conversation about family-integrated, family-based, or family-equipping ministry models. I read Mark Devries' book Family-Based Youth Ministry in college as I minored in youth ministry, and applied it to the youth ministry in which I was working. I quickly forgot what I read and couldn't tell you one underlined statement from that book - but I remember its implications.
The youth ministry staff I was on was a thriving youth ministry, boasted the largest youth ministry in St. Augustine. I loved teaching the Word every week to 70+ middle schoolers, playing games, going on ski-trips, having 5 middle-school girls sledding down my stairs on a mattress - those were the times. I love those girls I had in their youth group years. I love the parents who participated in the youth group, went on the same trips, loved teenagers, taught Sunday School, cooked brownies. They were so cool. But I also remember the parents who whipped through the parking lot of the church (dodging the kids shooting baskets or skateboarding) to drop their kids off for youth group by 6.10pm. I pray I had an impact on the lives of those girls. My first discipleship opportunity with a young lady was amazing and life-changing for both of us as we enjoyed dinner with her family every week one summer and then studied a Max Lucado book together upstairs. I loved that time. She is thriving in life and ministry right now. But, I guarantee that has more to do with the fact that she has parents who model a life of following Christ every day than that one summer I had with her, Wed night youth group meetings, ski trips, and Sunday School classes.
Anyway...this discussion of style of ministry is fairly new. When I started working at Southern Seminary in Fall 2007, the first I ever heard of this was because Steve Wright wrote a book entitled RE:Think. Timothy Jones and Randy Stinson continued the conversation and were teaching principles based on the Word, and dubbed "Family-equipping model". This is the culture I have been immersed in over the last 2.5 years. This has provided me much to think about and wrestle with. This is what I have come up with.
God created the family - Gen 2
God gave the mandate to the parents for discipling their children - Dt 6
God gave the ministry of equipping the saints to the pastors - Eph 4
The call of disciples of Christ is to evangelize the world - Matt 28.
This book, edited by Dr. Timothy Jones, with authors Paul Renfro, Brandon Shields, and Jay Strother, is a good introduction to these three models (mentioned at the beginning of this) and gives the reader much food for thought. This book would be extremely helpful to people training for ministry, or for church staffers looking at making a change to existing ministries.
Personally, I thought Renfro's was the strongest argument, Jay Strother's was the most practical, and Shield's was the weakest. That doesn't mean anything - that may just be the style of writing. I liked the humble dialogue between the authors as they brought out points that most readers may not have thought of while they worked through the styles of ministry.
Here are some quotes from the book:
"Church programs have usurped a responsibility that Scripture and church history place first and foremost at the feet of parents." - Jones, 21
"Family ministry is not another church program that a pastor can add to the present array of programs." - Jones, 41
Jones definitely accomplishes his task with this book: "My goal is not to convince readers that one of these models is better than the others. I do want to equip them with the knowledge needed to discern which model might work best in their congregation." - 45
"Who is better able to discern the condition of their children's hearts and to know if true repentance has occurred than those who live with them every day? The home is the best context for discipleship." - Renfro, 63
"Could it be that family-integrated churches so heavily emphasize traditional family structures that they subtly give non-traditional families the impression they are second-class citizens?" - Strother, 86
"When attempting to reach another culture, there is a fine line between relevance and accommodation." - Shields, 110
"So many American families are merely a shell of what God created them to be. In such families each family member has personal agendas and schedules; homes are merely pit stops for the washing of clothes, the provision of food, and a few hours of sleep." - Renfro, 121
"In the typical church it will require significant changes not only in the message communicated to parents but also in the church's internal paradigms to send a loud and clear message that parents have the primary responsibility for their children's discipleship." - Strother, 129
"We must go where they are, preach to them in their language, compel them to come to Jesus, and consistently create attractive environments where persons from any background can grow in their relationship with Jesus." - Shields, 137
Why must we create attractive environments? That is my area of disagreement with the above statement.
"Family-equipping ministry must represent the congregation's convictions about the entire nature of church and ministry." - Strother, 161.
This is not merely a youth ministry question - this is an entire church life question.
My thoughts: I am not a parent. I have been in youth ministry/college ministry/kids ministry now for 15 years. This has given me much view of typical American families. I see failures and successes. Not every teenager that comes out of a intact, Bible-believe home is a radical Christ follower. Not every teen that comes out of a divorced, broken home is a loser who wants nothing to do with Christ. This isn't a 100% no-fail solution. God is still in charge of radically changing the lives of sinners like me. He called parents though, Christian parents, to disciple their children in the ways of God. The church is called to equip and evangelize. Evangelize the lost, and disciple them to do what they are called to do. One of the things they are called to do, if parents, is to disciple their own children.
Much more is to be discussed on this topic: broken families, single parents, single adults, etc. But...this isn't my dissertation on the topic of family ministry. This is my response from reading Jones' book on it.
I am thankful for all 4 authors as three of them have had a personal impact on my life and ministry and all 4, through this book, have made me think.
Time span: 1995 (graduation) to 2010 (now). I have grown in knowledge of the Word and the turns and styles of ministry. Being in many churches since high school graduation and attending seminary, and now working at a seminary has definitely had an impact on how I think about and am active in ministry.
This book highlights one of the latest "styles" in how to do children and youth ministry. 5-10 years ago no one would have had a conversation about family-integrated, family-based, or family-equipping ministry models. I read Mark Devries' book Family-Based Youth Ministry in college as I minored in youth ministry, and applied it to the youth ministry in which I was working. I quickly forgot what I read and couldn't tell you one underlined statement from that book - but I remember its implications.
The youth ministry staff I was on was a thriving youth ministry, boasted the largest youth ministry in St. Augustine. I loved teaching the Word every week to 70+ middle schoolers, playing games, going on ski-trips, having 5 middle-school girls sledding down my stairs on a mattress - those were the times. I love those girls I had in their youth group years. I love the parents who participated in the youth group, went on the same trips, loved teenagers, taught Sunday School, cooked brownies. They were so cool. But I also remember the parents who whipped through the parking lot of the church (dodging the kids shooting baskets or skateboarding) to drop their kids off for youth group by 6.10pm. I pray I had an impact on the lives of those girls. My first discipleship opportunity with a young lady was amazing and life-changing for both of us as we enjoyed dinner with her family every week one summer and then studied a Max Lucado book together upstairs. I loved that time. She is thriving in life and ministry right now. But, I guarantee that has more to do with the fact that she has parents who model a life of following Christ every day than that one summer I had with her, Wed night youth group meetings, ski trips, and Sunday School classes.
Anyway...this discussion of style of ministry is fairly new. When I started working at Southern Seminary in Fall 2007, the first I ever heard of this was because Steve Wright wrote a book entitled RE:Think. Timothy Jones and Randy Stinson continued the conversation and were teaching principles based on the Word, and dubbed "Family-equipping model". This is the culture I have been immersed in over the last 2.5 years. This has provided me much to think about and wrestle with. This is what I have come up with.
God created the family - Gen 2
God gave the mandate to the parents for discipling their children - Dt 6
God gave the ministry of equipping the saints to the pastors - Eph 4
The call of disciples of Christ is to evangelize the world - Matt 28.
This book, edited by Dr. Timothy Jones, with authors Paul Renfro, Brandon Shields, and Jay Strother, is a good introduction to these three models (mentioned at the beginning of this) and gives the reader much food for thought. This book would be extremely helpful to people training for ministry, or for church staffers looking at making a change to existing ministries.
Personally, I thought Renfro's was the strongest argument, Jay Strother's was the most practical, and Shield's was the weakest. That doesn't mean anything - that may just be the style of writing. I liked the humble dialogue between the authors as they brought out points that most readers may not have thought of while they worked through the styles of ministry.
Here are some quotes from the book:
"Church programs have usurped a responsibility that Scripture and church history place first and foremost at the feet of parents." - Jones, 21
"Family ministry is not another church program that a pastor can add to the present array of programs." - Jones, 41
Jones definitely accomplishes his task with this book: "My goal is not to convince readers that one of these models is better than the others. I do want to equip them with the knowledge needed to discern which model might work best in their congregation." - 45
"Who is better able to discern the condition of their children's hearts and to know if true repentance has occurred than those who live with them every day? The home is the best context for discipleship." - Renfro, 63
"Could it be that family-integrated churches so heavily emphasize traditional family structures that they subtly give non-traditional families the impression they are second-class citizens?" - Strother, 86
"When attempting to reach another culture, there is a fine line between relevance and accommodation." - Shields, 110
"So many American families are merely a shell of what God created them to be. In such families each family member has personal agendas and schedules; homes are merely pit stops for the washing of clothes, the provision of food, and a few hours of sleep." - Renfro, 121
"In the typical church it will require significant changes not only in the message communicated to parents but also in the church's internal paradigms to send a loud and clear message that parents have the primary responsibility for their children's discipleship." - Strother, 129
"We must go where they are, preach to them in their language, compel them to come to Jesus, and consistently create attractive environments where persons from any background can grow in their relationship with Jesus." - Shields, 137
Why must we create attractive environments? That is my area of disagreement with the above statement.
"Family-equipping ministry must represent the congregation's convictions about the entire nature of church and ministry." - Strother, 161.
This is not merely a youth ministry question - this is an entire church life question.
My thoughts: I am not a parent. I have been in youth ministry/college ministry/kids ministry now for 15 years. This has given me much view of typical American families. I see failures and successes. Not every teenager that comes out of a intact, Bible-believe home is a radical Christ follower. Not every teen that comes out of a divorced, broken home is a loser who wants nothing to do with Christ. This isn't a 100% no-fail solution. God is still in charge of radically changing the lives of sinners like me. He called parents though, Christian parents, to disciple their children in the ways of God. The church is called to equip and evangelize. Evangelize the lost, and disciple them to do what they are called to do. One of the things they are called to do, if parents, is to disciple their own children.
Much more is to be discussed on this topic: broken families, single parents, single adults, etc. But...this isn't my dissertation on the topic of family ministry. This is my response from reading Jones' book on it.
I am thankful for all 4 authors as three of them have had a personal impact on my life and ministry and all 4, through this book, have made me think.
Friday, January 29, 2010
John Angell James - On Usefulness
Hand it to the guys who lived and preached in the 1800s. John Angell James was a preacher and prolific writer in England.
A friend passed this along to me today, thought I would share it with you:
“I set out in my ministry, even when a student, with the idea of usefulness so deeply imprinted on my heart, and so constantly present to my thoughts, that I could never lose sight of it long together: and I mean a usefulness of one kind – that is the direct conversion of souls …
The press is one of the two main pillars of the temple of truth. So in the conversion of souls, though the pulpit is the main instrument of effecting this, yet the tract distributor, the Sunday-school teacher, the Bible reader, are all useful, and every person should study his talents, his means, and his opportunities for usefulness.”
Questions for thought:
1. How has God gifted you to be useful?
2. How are you currently using this usefulness, or honing those skills to be useful in the future?
3. How is the rest of your life arranged to keep this usefulness useful (life management)?
A friend passed this along to me today, thought I would share it with you:
“I set out in my ministry, even when a student, with the idea of usefulness so deeply imprinted on my heart, and so constantly present to my thoughts, that I could never lose sight of it long together: and I mean a usefulness of one kind – that is the direct conversion of souls …
The press is one of the two main pillars of the temple of truth. So in the conversion of souls, though the pulpit is the main instrument of effecting this, yet the tract distributor, the Sunday-school teacher, the Bible reader, are all useful, and every person should study his talents, his means, and his opportunities for usefulness.”
Questions for thought:
1. How has God gifted you to be useful?
2. How are you currently using this usefulness, or honing those skills to be useful in the future?
3. How is the rest of your life arranged to keep this usefulness useful (life management)?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Book Review: Shepherding a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
I've learned two things (and more) from being in seminary and now having worked/working at 2 seminaries:
1. You can have a lot of practical expertise and not know any theology.
2. You can know TONS of theology and not be able to put it into practice well.
Tedd Tripp has authored a book that is good at both. He gives you the theology behind good parenting; and he gives you very practical follow-through so apply this theology.
What I love about this book: (the above paragraph), I love his humility (he and his wife do not have it all together), and his accomplishment of the task at hand - instructing parents how to not only target their children's actions, but how to reach their hearts - to shepherd their hearts.
"Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior." (p 6)Tripp spends the first half of the book laying the foundation to parenting, shepherding, Scripture, etc. "You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts." (p xxi) Then the second half, he gives very practical advice for different stages of child-rearing: toddlers, children, teenagers. I found these extremely helpful - even as I think back about my youth ministry days and think ahead as I volunteer in the church and even babysit. These are great truths and principles to be adopted.
I went to a Christian school from K-12th grade, only missing one semester. I remember a conversation my mom had when we were talking about one of the trouble makers in my grade. She said something to the effect that her parents probably sent her to this school in hopes that they would "straighten her out". Tripp makes a similar comment in the opening of this book: "They had hoped that school would provide the direction and motivation they had not been able to provide for their daughter." (p xvii) The school nor the church have been given the role of chief discipler/parent in your child's life. You have been given that role (see Deut 6).
"You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed." (p 22) I saw this lived out in my mentor's home. Scripture was every where. Itunes was on to the latest Christian praise and worship. But that wasn't all - conversations were lined with biblical thought, ministry was front and center, relationships were key. All pointing to Scripture. Another one of my friends, Kathy, has as her ministry Scripture Pictures, because she wants to get the Word into as many homes as possible. She does beautiful hand drawn Scripture in art. Amazing woman!
My former professor, Dr. Alvin Reid, at SEBTS, says this: "It is vital that we incorporate the gospel into every fabric of our lives. Our interaction with our neighbors should bring glory to God and communicate Christ to those who need him."
"Parenting is a pervasive task." (p 33) Recently, I heard a radio interview with Sandra Bullock, star of The Blind Side. She said, "Being a mother is easy, all you have to do is love". While there may be some truth in that, there are far deeper implications for parenting than just love. I don't think I have ever heard a parent say that parenting is easy.
Some would say the best way to raise a child is to shelter them from society. Tripp says this: "You must equip your children to function in a culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. Your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children." (p 45, 6)
"You must bring integrity to your interaction with your children. You model the dynamics of the Christian life for your children. You must let them see sonship with the Father in you. You should show them repentance. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find comfort in God. Live a shared life of repentance and thankfulness. Acknowledge your own sin and weakness. Admit when you are wrong. Be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your children. The right to make searching and honest appraisal of your children lies in willingness to do the same for yourself." (p 91)
"You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience a the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your child rearing. God's standard is correct behavior flowing from a heart that loves God and has God's glory as the sole purpose of life. That is not native to your children (nor to their parents)." (p. 120)
"Whatever you do will require patience. It is hard for a family to change its direction. What is ahead of you is a matter of spiritual struggle against the forces of evil. There is more to it than applying some principles. Pray; seek God's help. Wait on God. Study the Scriptures with your children. Try to take them along with you on your spiritual pilgrimage. Share with them what you're learning and why changes in your family life are important." (p 158)
"If you never address the character, you will never get beyond bare obedience." (p 163)
"The primary context for parental instruction is set forth in Deuteronomy 6. It is the ordinary context of daily living. Your children see the power of a life of faith as they see you living it. You do not need to be perfect, you simply need to be people of integrity who are living life in the rich, robust truth of the Word of God." (p 192)
With every book there are drawbacks:
1. All the illustrations. They are great, but for some they will try to live out these truths and principles in the exact same way - or they won't be able to live these out at all because they won't get past the illustration. Way to succeed: ask God how you need to apply these truths to your family, don't rely on the family of the Tripps to be successful.
2. "God intends for parenting to be a temporary task." (p 210) I disagree with this statement. Yes, you might not discipline them the same or help them make every decision, but my parents are still my parents. They help me in many ways: to make wise decisions, to give me advice, to help financially some, to be friends with; but they are still my parents.
This book is very helpful. If you haven't read it, please do.
1. You can have a lot of practical expertise and not know any theology.
2. You can know TONS of theology and not be able to put it into practice well.
Tedd Tripp has authored a book that is good at both. He gives you the theology behind good parenting; and he gives you very practical follow-through so apply this theology.
What I love about this book: (the above paragraph), I love his humility (he and his wife do not have it all together), and his accomplishment of the task at hand - instructing parents how to not only target their children's actions, but how to reach their hearts - to shepherd their hearts.
"Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior." (p 6)Tripp spends the first half of the book laying the foundation to parenting, shepherding, Scripture, etc. "You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts." (p xxi) Then the second half, he gives very practical advice for different stages of child-rearing: toddlers, children, teenagers. I found these extremely helpful - even as I think back about my youth ministry days and think ahead as I volunteer in the church and even babysit. These are great truths and principles to be adopted.
I went to a Christian school from K-12th grade, only missing one semester. I remember a conversation my mom had when we were talking about one of the trouble makers in my grade. She said something to the effect that her parents probably sent her to this school in hopes that they would "straighten her out". Tripp makes a similar comment in the opening of this book: "They had hoped that school would provide the direction and motivation they had not been able to provide for their daughter." (p xvii) The school nor the church have been given the role of chief discipler/parent in your child's life. You have been given that role (see Deut 6).
"You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed." (p 22) I saw this lived out in my mentor's home. Scripture was every where. Itunes was on to the latest Christian praise and worship. But that wasn't all - conversations were lined with biblical thought, ministry was front and center, relationships were key. All pointing to Scripture. Another one of my friends, Kathy, has as her ministry Scripture Pictures, because she wants to get the Word into as many homes as possible. She does beautiful hand drawn Scripture in art. Amazing woman!
My former professor, Dr. Alvin Reid, at SEBTS, says this: "It is vital that we incorporate the gospel into every fabric of our lives. Our interaction with our neighbors should bring glory to God and communicate Christ to those who need him."
"Parenting is a pervasive task." (p 33) Recently, I heard a radio interview with Sandra Bullock, star of The Blind Side. She said, "Being a mother is easy, all you have to do is love". While there may be some truth in that, there are far deeper implications for parenting than just love. I don't think I have ever heard a parent say that parenting is easy.
Some would say the best way to raise a child is to shelter them from society. Tripp says this: "You must equip your children to function in a culture that has abandoned the knowledge of God. Your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children." (p 45, 6)
"You must bring integrity to your interaction with your children. You model the dynamics of the Christian life for your children. You must let them see sonship with the Father in you. You should show them repentance. Acknowledge your joys and fears and how you find comfort in God. Live a shared life of repentance and thankfulness. Acknowledge your own sin and weakness. Admit when you are wrong. Be prepared to seek forgiveness for sinning against your children. The right to make searching and honest appraisal of your children lies in willingness to do the same for yourself." (p 91)
"You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience a the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your child rearing. God's standard is correct behavior flowing from a heart that loves God and has God's glory as the sole purpose of life. That is not native to your children (nor to their parents)." (p. 120)
"Whatever you do will require patience. It is hard for a family to change its direction. What is ahead of you is a matter of spiritual struggle against the forces of evil. There is more to it than applying some principles. Pray; seek God's help. Wait on God. Study the Scriptures with your children. Try to take them along with you on your spiritual pilgrimage. Share with them what you're learning and why changes in your family life are important." (p 158)
"If you never address the character, you will never get beyond bare obedience." (p 163)
"The primary context for parental instruction is set forth in Deuteronomy 6. It is the ordinary context of daily living. Your children see the power of a life of faith as they see you living it. You do not need to be perfect, you simply need to be people of integrity who are living life in the rich, robust truth of the Word of God." (p 192)
With every book there are drawbacks:
1. All the illustrations. They are great, but for some they will try to live out these truths and principles in the exact same way - or they won't be able to live these out at all because they won't get past the illustration. Way to succeed: ask God how you need to apply these truths to your family, don't rely on the family of the Tripps to be successful.
2. "God intends for parenting to be a temporary task." (p 210) I disagree with this statement. Yes, you might not discipline them the same or help them make every decision, but my parents are still my parents. They help me in many ways: to make wise decisions, to give me advice, to help financially some, to be friends with; but they are still my parents.
This book is very helpful. If you haven't read it, please do.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
ApParent Privilege - Steve Wright
Whenever do I cry during a flight? When I am reading a book by Steve Wright - ok, this book by Steve Wright.
Over the last 2 1/2 years I've gotten to know Steve and his wife, Tina, who minister at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. He came and taught one of my youth ministry classes during my time at Seminary, but I'd never gotten to know him and his family and ministry.
This book is good on its own. My boss has it on his reading list for his class at Southern. Another one of our profs uses it as well.
But, this book gets better when you know the person who wrote it. When you know they live out the joys, sorrows, prayers, worship, ministry, heart of this book. That is what makes it so good. So, yes...I cried, laughed (aloud on a flight), prayed, longed for, remembered times that I didn't have growing up. So, must read? Yes. Right up there with Instructing a Child's Heart.
Here are some of my fave quotes - hopefully I'll get the opportunity to use them one day. (I think this book actually made me want to be a parent...)
"You have an apparent privilege, the most exciting of you life, right in front of you - to be a touch of grace on your children's souls." (17)
"If the cross of Christ is the center of history, then it must also be the center of our lives as well as the center of our communication with our children." (29)
"We must continually show our children what it means to be a biblical woman and a biblical man." (40)
'God gave parents the primary discipleship role." (54) - Did I mention this guy is a youth minister at a church? He is not thinking he is going to lose his job with this statement.
"We must take hold of the privilege to share a theology of family with our children. They need to hear from us first because they are already hearing from so many others." (59)
"Biblical parenting is more than keeping our kids from having sex, using drugs, or going to jail. It is fostering an awe of God in our children." (62)
"Yes, we are recipients of the limitless blessings of marriage, but marriage isn't primarily about us. Christian marriages point to God and therefore must be protected and valued." (66)
"We must understand a healthy marriage is the foundation of healthy parenting that enables God's glory to be seen by our children and others." (68)
"Your parenting affects more than your child's here and now. It affects generations to come and their eternity." (94) My boss spoke on this topic at Wright's conference, ReThink 2009. I remember him saying that we don't parent and do ministry just for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, and their children. Think future. Think eternity.
This next statement came just for me: it was very clear that this paragraph was written just for me: "The responsibility to teach our children the incredible truths of God may seem overwhelming, but the Bride of Christ is there to help. She will teach you how to teach. She will train you how to train. You cannot do it alone." (109) This was one of the cry points in this book for me.
Steve does a great job of pulling together many statistics from youth ministry, Scriptural support for all of his points. He does the research for you (as well as in his other book, ReThink).
So, here is a good ending point. Go buy this book. If you are a parent, go get it. If you know someone having a baby - get it for them. Buy the youth pastor at your church this book. Tell him to read it. Just read it. Then live it and practice it. By God's grace and for His glory. For eternity.
Over the last 2 1/2 years I've gotten to know Steve and his wife, Tina, who minister at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. He came and taught one of my youth ministry classes during my time at Seminary, but I'd never gotten to know him and his family and ministry.
This book is good on its own. My boss has it on his reading list for his class at Southern. Another one of our profs uses it as well.
But, this book gets better when you know the person who wrote it. When you know they live out the joys, sorrows, prayers, worship, ministry, heart of this book. That is what makes it so good. So, yes...I cried, laughed (aloud on a flight), prayed, longed for, remembered times that I didn't have growing up. So, must read? Yes. Right up there with Instructing a Child's Heart.
Here are some of my fave quotes - hopefully I'll get the opportunity to use them one day. (I think this book actually made me want to be a parent...)
"You have an apparent privilege, the most exciting of you life, right in front of you - to be a touch of grace on your children's souls." (17)
"If the cross of Christ is the center of history, then it must also be the center of our lives as well as the center of our communication with our children." (29)
"We must continually show our children what it means to be a biblical woman and a biblical man." (40)
'God gave parents the primary discipleship role." (54) - Did I mention this guy is a youth minister at a church? He is not thinking he is going to lose his job with this statement.
"We must take hold of the privilege to share a theology of family with our children. They need to hear from us first because they are already hearing from so many others." (59)
"Biblical parenting is more than keeping our kids from having sex, using drugs, or going to jail. It is fostering an awe of God in our children." (62)
"Yes, we are recipients of the limitless blessings of marriage, but marriage isn't primarily about us. Christian marriages point to God and therefore must be protected and valued." (66)
"We must understand a healthy marriage is the foundation of healthy parenting that enables God's glory to be seen by our children and others." (68)
"Your parenting affects more than your child's here and now. It affects generations to come and their eternity." (94) My boss spoke on this topic at Wright's conference, ReThink 2009. I remember him saying that we don't parent and do ministry just for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, and their children. Think future. Think eternity.
This next statement came just for me: it was very clear that this paragraph was written just for me: "The responsibility to teach our children the incredible truths of God may seem overwhelming, but the Bride of Christ is there to help. She will teach you how to teach. She will train you how to train. You cannot do it alone." (109) This was one of the cry points in this book for me.
Steve does a great job of pulling together many statistics from youth ministry, Scriptural support for all of his points. He does the research for you (as well as in his other book, ReThink).
So, here is a good ending point. Go buy this book. If you are a parent, go get it. If you know someone having a baby - get it for them. Buy the youth pastor at your church this book. Tell him to read it. Just read it. Then live it and practice it. By God's grace and for His glory. For eternity.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Gospel-Powered Parenting - William Farley
This book came across my Google Reader, and I immediately passed it along to my boss, one of my profs I work for, and a youth pastor. This was right up their alley. I was asked to order 10 copies within the week.
I finally was able to sit down and finish this book. An easy read, not too hard, not too long (225). Though not stated, this book, I would have to say, is written to men. If you keep that in mind, this book will pose little problem to you. If you are a woman (mother, wife) you may feel a little slighted. Farley does a great job addressing the need for Fathers to step up and be fathers - but sometimes at the neglect or dismissal of the mothers. (That is just how I felt reading some of his words, others may not feel that way at all).
Anyway, again, since I'm not a parent, I won't make much comment, but hopefully you can learn and maybe even pick this book up to read yourselves, or give to parents you know.
"We are absolutely dependent on God's Spirit to complete the parenting process." (19)
"We (parents) are responsible to reach our children for Christ." (21) This as opposed to what many parents would say: the school or the church is responsible.
"Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world." (23)
"Most Christian parents assume that church attendance or youth group involvement equates to new birth." (28)
"Effective Christian parents aim at their children's hearts rather than their behavior." (43)
"We parent out of our theology. Everyone, Christian and non-Christian, has a theology - an idea of who God is and who we are by contrast. Some are accurate. Some are not." (71). This can go for everything - its called a worldview.
"Marriage-centered, not child-centered moms, usually exert the greatest influence on their children for Christ and his kingdom." (113)
"Those who meditate on the message of the cross strive for holiness. Their efforts only make them more aware of their failings. This causes them to run to the cross for forgiveness more frequently. It causes them to need the cross more desparately. All of this happens because they feel the weight of their sins more biblically. It culminates in the peace of biblical humility." (121)
"We should encourage women to promote biblical masculinity." (135)
"A woman can also encourage masculinity by respecting her husband, especially in front of her children." (140). I see this often on facebook. Now, true, most children are not on fb because of the age limitations, but what is said on fb is often said in person or on the phone talking to a girlfriend, etc. Wives will cut down, or belittle their husbands, or speak of his incompetence, etc. Children pick up on this. This causes them to lose respect for one or both of the parents. It is difficult to regain.
"The gospel should be at the heart of all attempts to discipline children. It motivates our discipline and it becomes the end of effective Christian discipline." (147) - Probably my favorite quote of the book.
"We have not learned to be thankful for our children, despite their problems. We think we deserve better. We are ungrateful. A lack of gratitude always points to pride. We deserve crucifixion. We don't deserve obedient, easy children." (213) - Second favorite quote of the book.
"What wonderful news! God uses the imperfect efforts of gospel-centered parents to do his deep and abiding work in our children. In the meantime, the gospel frees us from the burden of perfection." (219). Ends it with the gospel - which is where he stays most of the time.
Now - how to teach this, promote this, equip parents in this, live this out - without being a parent. That is the task.
I finally was able to sit down and finish this book. An easy read, not too hard, not too long (225). Though not stated, this book, I would have to say, is written to men. If you keep that in mind, this book will pose little problem to you. If you are a woman (mother, wife) you may feel a little slighted. Farley does a great job addressing the need for Fathers to step up and be fathers - but sometimes at the neglect or dismissal of the mothers. (That is just how I felt reading some of his words, others may not feel that way at all).
Anyway, again, since I'm not a parent, I won't make much comment, but hopefully you can learn and maybe even pick this book up to read yourselves, or give to parents you know.
"We are absolutely dependent on God's Spirit to complete the parenting process." (19)
"We (parents) are responsible to reach our children for Christ." (21) This as opposed to what many parents would say: the school or the church is responsible.
"Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world." (23)
"Most Christian parents assume that church attendance or youth group involvement equates to new birth." (28)
"Effective Christian parents aim at their children's hearts rather than their behavior." (43)
"We parent out of our theology. Everyone, Christian and non-Christian, has a theology - an idea of who God is and who we are by contrast. Some are accurate. Some are not." (71). This can go for everything - its called a worldview.
"Marriage-centered, not child-centered moms, usually exert the greatest influence on their children for Christ and his kingdom." (113)
"Those who meditate on the message of the cross strive for holiness. Their efforts only make them more aware of their failings. This causes them to run to the cross for forgiveness more frequently. It causes them to need the cross more desparately. All of this happens because they feel the weight of their sins more biblically. It culminates in the peace of biblical humility." (121)
"We should encourage women to promote biblical masculinity." (135)
"A woman can also encourage masculinity by respecting her husband, especially in front of her children." (140). I see this often on facebook. Now, true, most children are not on fb because of the age limitations, but what is said on fb is often said in person or on the phone talking to a girlfriend, etc. Wives will cut down, or belittle their husbands, or speak of his incompetence, etc. Children pick up on this. This causes them to lose respect for one or both of the parents. It is difficult to regain.
"The gospel should be at the heart of all attempts to discipline children. It motivates our discipline and it becomes the end of effective Christian discipline." (147) - Probably my favorite quote of the book.
"We have not learned to be thankful for our children, despite their problems. We think we deserve better. We are ungrateful. A lack of gratitude always points to pride. We deserve crucifixion. We don't deserve obedient, easy children." (213) - Second favorite quote of the book.
"What wonderful news! God uses the imperfect efforts of gospel-centered parents to do his deep and abiding work in our children. In the meantime, the gospel frees us from the burden of perfection." (219). Ends it with the gospel - which is where he stays most of the time.
Now - how to teach this, promote this, equip parents in this, live this out - without being a parent. That is the task.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Instructing a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
The next three months I'll be doing a lot of reading, and I'm glad. 2010 holds a new structure in my reading (but more on that on Jan 1). I cranked this book out in 5 days - mostly last night while working a desk job for 8 hours (after my normal job). I used a lot of red ink in this book: Instructing a Child's Heart. It was good from the get-go. Tedd and Margy Tripp - (brother to Paul David Tripp who is one of my fave author's) wrote a parenting book. Now you may be asking yourself why I'm reading a parenting book - no, I'm not a parent. But, as a gave a shout out on FB - this book is crucial for anyone who knows kids, works with kids, is a parent, wants to be a parent (and by kid I'm meaning B-12th grade).
Here are some of the quotes that I really enjoyed. And, I just want to give you some thoughts to think about - I'm not putting much of my 2 cents worth here. Definitely go get the book - you'll be glad you did!
"In the absence of biblical formative instruction, secular formative instructors take over." (15)
"Formative instruction must be rooted in Scripture." (19)
"The most effective way to teach our children to love the Scripture is to love it ourselves. They will see us longing to read it, hear it, and understand it, and learn that it is valuable." (21)
"We must show our children the vital connection between the powerful story of redemption in the Scriptures and their daily experience." (27) This is why I'm glad I go to Sojourn here in Louisville. I love how the pastors bring every sermon back to the gospel. It has given me a framework to see all of Scripture in light of Jesus and his finished work on the Cross.
"The primary place for children to receive formative instruction is in the home. ______ cannot replace the family. The home is the place where we present a culture that is distinctively Christian." (35)
"Our hope is that the gospel will be the power of God to salvation in their lives as it has been in ours." (43) - See Romans 1.16
"We devote a great deal of time to the outer man, but God is concerned with the heart. Our children will never interpret life correctly until they understand that it is the heart that directs all of life." (53)
"Manipulation of behavior through rewards and punishments will never touch the stony heart." (59)
"Since God is concerned with our hearts as the source of our behavior, it follows that heart change is our most important concern as we instruct and discipline our children, encouraging them to live consistently with God's law." (64)
"We reap in habits for life." (74) - This was valuable to me in all areas of life right now, but especially as we come upon a new year in a few weeks.
"Behaviorism may be popular - it may even work, but it obscures the gospel." (77)
"We are fashioned for the fascination his glory evokes." (94)
"Think of harmless hobbies in which children will invest vast amounts of time. Think of the daydreams that provide excitement to a heart that is not finding true and lasting pleasures in knowing God." (97)
"Sadly, many youth ministries pander to the appetites in young people for the banality of the youth culture. Young people are idealistic and yearning for something grand and glorious that is worth living for." (108)
Here are some of the quotes that I really enjoyed. And, I just want to give you some thoughts to think about - I'm not putting much of my 2 cents worth here. Definitely go get the book - you'll be glad you did!
"In the absence of biblical formative instruction, secular formative instructors take over." (15)
"Formative instruction must be rooted in Scripture." (19)
"The most effective way to teach our children to love the Scripture is to love it ourselves. They will see us longing to read it, hear it, and understand it, and learn that it is valuable." (21)
"We must show our children the vital connection between the powerful story of redemption in the Scriptures and their daily experience." (27) This is why I'm glad I go to Sojourn here in Louisville. I love how the pastors bring every sermon back to the gospel. It has given me a framework to see all of Scripture in light of Jesus and his finished work on the Cross.
"The primary place for children to receive formative instruction is in the home. ______ cannot replace the family. The home is the place where we present a culture that is distinctively Christian." (35)
"Our hope is that the gospel will be the power of God to salvation in their lives as it has been in ours." (43) - See Romans 1.16
"We devote a great deal of time to the outer man, but God is concerned with the heart. Our children will never interpret life correctly until they understand that it is the heart that directs all of life." (53)
"Manipulation of behavior through rewards and punishments will never touch the stony heart." (59)
"Since God is concerned with our hearts as the source of our behavior, it follows that heart change is our most important concern as we instruct and discipline our children, encouraging them to live consistently with God's law." (64)
"We reap in habits for life." (74) - This was valuable to me in all areas of life right now, but especially as we come upon a new year in a few weeks.
"Behaviorism may be popular - it may even work, but it obscures the gospel." (77)
"We are fashioned for the fascination his glory evokes." (94)
"Think of harmless hobbies in which children will invest vast amounts of time. Think of the daydreams that provide excitement to a heart that is not finding true and lasting pleasures in knowing God." (97)
"Sadly, many youth ministries pander to the appetites in young people for the banality of the youth culture. Young people are idealistic and yearning for something grand and glorious that is worth living for." (108)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
New Com(passion)
Baltimore and the NEXT conference was amazing for me in so many ways. But, probably in the top two was God granting me, by His mercy, a new compassion for college girls. Ask any of my college girls that I have done ministry with in the past and they will tell you different things. One of them probably is not compassion - and for that, to them, for the gospel - I must apologize.
But, this wknd God granted me that in his compassion for me - for the sake of the gospel.
Before listening to Carolyn McCulley's breakout session on her new book, God had already stirred this. But, after it - it was amazing (even going to HRC afterwards and talking about it with the guys I was with for dinner). As I listened to the woman bartender and many women sitting at the bar in the restaurant, being loud, carrying on, cheering on the pouring of liquor - I couldn't help but hearing them and saying to myself "ladies - there is something BETTER!"
So, here is a short list I jotted down in my journal:
1. BE different in the love of Jesus. When I look at young women, you can usually tell on the outside who they are. Usually. But, I want them to grasp the love of Jesus (the mystery of this grand, crazy thing) that alone can change them. All of us are searching for something, until we come to rest in the love of the one who Created us. "The most heinous sin is ignoring our Creator" was said this wknd. I find that girls do this in so many ways. I do this in so many ways. We are longing for something that will make us whole. We want many worldly things to afford us that satisfaction and completeness. Only Jesus will do that.
2. LOVE differently in the love of Jesus. Relationships are probably the most crucial thing in the lives of young women. They crave and desire to be loved. Many women will do most anything to get it. And I'm just not referring to unbelievers - although they do this too. We, as Christian women, strive for love to by pursuing men who are not our's yet.
3. LIVE differently in the love of Jesus. After we know our BEing is different because of Jesus - our lives will look radically different. We won't want to pursue after the things of this world. We will want to pursue Jesus and the roles for which He designed us. I remember starting seminary and thinking I wanted a MDiv because MDiv in Women's Ministries was way too narrow. Oh, God, please forgive me for not understanding your grand design then. How often I play the part of an egalitarian, wanting man's approval because the approval of women doesn't matter. We will want to live and act differently in the light of this crazy love!
4. DRESS differently in the love of Jesus. This is probably the most visible thing we are women do. And there isn't a list or checklist of ways that women should dress. But, how about dressing conservatively and femininely. There is someway that we can dress that will present something totally different than what the world is offering. Everyone doesn't have to wear floral prints and pink. But, many times we dress like men (polo shirts, jeans or khakis, tennis shoes, no jewelry, short hair) - why do we want to do that. Yes, I have on gray slacks today. But, I am wearing a coral shirt with some black dress shoes and jewelry. All to say, our outward appearance should be noticed by the world by being feminine and modest.
Two passages I love for the above reasons and have studied recently and heart preached recently:
Col 3.1-17:
3:1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
And Eph 5.1-17
5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper,and arise from the dead,and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
I don't know what this will look like as I minister with college girls and young women. I pray as I begin doing ministry in a new church, have opportunities to meet new women on behalf of SBTS and CBMW, speak at different events, continue in ministering to the young ladies I already know, and hopefully raise my own daughter in the future - God will shine brightly for the gospel in my life for HIS GLORY.
But, this wknd God granted me that in his compassion for me - for the sake of the gospel.
Before listening to Carolyn McCulley's breakout session on her new book, God had already stirred this. But, after it - it was amazing (even going to HRC afterwards and talking about it with the guys I was with for dinner). As I listened to the woman bartender and many women sitting at the bar in the restaurant, being loud, carrying on, cheering on the pouring of liquor - I couldn't help but hearing them and saying to myself "ladies - there is something BETTER!"
So, here is a short list I jotted down in my journal:
1. BE different in the love of Jesus. When I look at young women, you can usually tell on the outside who they are. Usually. But, I want them to grasp the love of Jesus (the mystery of this grand, crazy thing) that alone can change them. All of us are searching for something, until we come to rest in the love of the one who Created us. "The most heinous sin is ignoring our Creator" was said this wknd. I find that girls do this in so many ways. I do this in so many ways. We are longing for something that will make us whole. We want many worldly things to afford us that satisfaction and completeness. Only Jesus will do that.
2. LOVE differently in the love of Jesus. Relationships are probably the most crucial thing in the lives of young women. They crave and desire to be loved. Many women will do most anything to get it. And I'm just not referring to unbelievers - although they do this too. We, as Christian women, strive for love to by pursuing men who are not our's yet.
3. LIVE differently in the love of Jesus. After we know our BEing is different because of Jesus - our lives will look radically different. We won't want to pursue after the things of this world. We will want to pursue Jesus and the roles for which He designed us. I remember starting seminary and thinking I wanted a MDiv because MDiv in Women's Ministries was way too narrow. Oh, God, please forgive me for not understanding your grand design then. How often I play the part of an egalitarian, wanting man's approval because the approval of women doesn't matter. We will want to live and act differently in the light of this crazy love!
4. DRESS differently in the love of Jesus. This is probably the most visible thing we are women do. And there isn't a list or checklist of ways that women should dress. But, how about dressing conservatively and femininely. There is someway that we can dress that will present something totally different than what the world is offering. Everyone doesn't have to wear floral prints and pink. But, many times we dress like men (polo shirts, jeans or khakis, tennis shoes, no jewelry, short hair) - why do we want to do that. Yes, I have on gray slacks today. But, I am wearing a coral shirt with some black dress shoes and jewelry. All to say, our outward appearance should be noticed by the world by being feminine and modest.
Two passages I love for the above reasons and have studied recently and heart preached recently:
Col 3.1-17:
3:1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
And Eph 5.1-17
5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper,and arise from the dead,and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
I don't know what this will look like as I minister with college girls and young women. I pray as I begin doing ministry in a new church, have opportunities to meet new women on behalf of SBTS and CBMW, speak at different events, continue in ministering to the young ladies I already know, and hopefully raise my own daughter in the future - God will shine brightly for the gospel in my life for HIS GLORY.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Re:Think Recap
I was honored to be at the Re:Think Conference in Raleigh this past weekend. This is the second conference at Providence Baptist Church. Last year I live blogged the main sessions - this year I just sat back and pulled nuggets away that I wanted to share with you.
Blake Hickman was the MC for the day and the Shelly Moore Band led us in the worship for the day.
David Horner - the senior pastor of Providence (and founding pastor) started off the day.
1. 1 Thessalonians - "kindle afresh". Pray that God would renew us to our calling. This is a conference on family ministry and the church - especially how to do youth ministry in light of the family. But, even in general things - God, please renew afresh in me the joy of my salvation!
2. Dt 11.2 - How is the fear of God and the awe of God on display in your life? In your kids' lives? What am I presenting to the world? This will also come out later in one of the songs we sang at the evening session. Good question to always be asking ourselves.
Steve Wright - Student Pastor at Providence and author of ReThink and ApParent Privilege, and husband to Tina (which I know he'll say is his greatest asset!). Privileged to know this man and call him a friend. He has been a great source of wisdom and kindness to me in the past 2 years I've known him.
1. I need to make the Lord my friend - this only comes with the gospel and humility.
2. As a youth pastor - what am I doing that is helping my students treasure Christ above all else? I can say this for a woman ministering to others - either in daily relationships, facebook relationships, phone conversations, speaking engagements, or writing. How do I do this - what am I treasuring above all else and how am I helping women get there too?
3. I need to hold the gospel dear! Not programs, or ways of doing ministry, or churches, etc - but the gospel needs to be the dearest thing to me - the thing I speak mostly of.
4. All the world has to offer is fleeting. I thought about this on the way home. My bag that I was traveling with was given to me by my mom - she got it for free. It ripped wide open when I get off the escalator in RDU. Thankfully, a friend was standing right there to offer assistance (God ordained for him to be waiting for his wife to land at that exact time) - but during my flight I was wondering if my bag would make it. And honestly - all that stuff doesn't matter - but all my makeup was in there, my camera, my toiletries, stuff I had bought over the wknd (great evoo from Southern Season) - I didn't want to lose it. And I was very thankful when it came around the luggage conveyor at SDF!
Dave Owen - College Pastor at Providence. On the flight out there from ATL to RDU a guy sat in front of me who was so excited he was going to get to hear Dave Owen on Sunday - he had such a tremendous impact on this young guy's life - he is now serving in Sweden with Campus Crusade.
1. At meals - their kids pray for missionaries and countries all over the globe. How do they remember to do that? Their placemats are maps of the world. They pray for these folks strategically. Teaching his kids - even as young as they are - to have a heartbeat for the world.
David Michael - Children Desiring God - Bethlehem Baptist Church. He spoke with much conviction when he would read the Word. You could tell he treasured the words of God!
1. Ps 19.12-13. I have really been praying this lately. All of my life is clouded with sin right now because I am a sinner (saved by grace), but I live in the flesh until I am set free from this bondage and am in Heaven. All my good works are even as filthy rags. But, God is renewing me and sanctifying me daily! I am so glad of that.
2. Let me know get discouraged and lose heart - don't even let me be tempted to lose heart in ministry. God has called us to something higher - rather than the world's standards of ministry.
Randy Stinson - Dean of the School of Church Ministries at SBTS, and President of CBMW. I have had almost 2 years of working for this man. I enjoy my job. He is a man of integrity.
1. The family can't impede the gospel. I want my life, and hopefully one day my family, to be such a light for the gospel that it will not be harmed because of what I do.
2. Jokes about Dad are not a way to edify the family or the church. Most sitcoms are based on putting down the dads. This is not a way to live. We should be building up, praying for, etc the Dad's - as they seek to be the head of their homes.
3. Do I live in the now or in the light and hope of eternity?
The Shelly Moore Band was great. Here are some random thoughts from the songs:
1. The King of Glory poured out - victorious are we now. The only way I am victorious over the sins that plague me and haunt me daily - is through the blood of Jesus. How precious is that!
2. "Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I do." Let me glory in that alone!
3. May the folks I see and come in contact with see a liberated person in Christ! To See Christ!
Blake Hickman was the MC for the day and the Shelly Moore Band led us in the worship for the day.
David Horner - the senior pastor of Providence (and founding pastor) started off the day.
1. 1 Thessalonians - "kindle afresh". Pray that God would renew us to our calling. This is a conference on family ministry and the church - especially how to do youth ministry in light of the family. But, even in general things - God, please renew afresh in me the joy of my salvation!
2. Dt 11.2 - How is the fear of God and the awe of God on display in your life? In your kids' lives? What am I presenting to the world? This will also come out later in one of the songs we sang at the evening session. Good question to always be asking ourselves.
Steve Wright - Student Pastor at Providence and author of ReThink and ApParent Privilege, and husband to Tina (which I know he'll say is his greatest asset!). Privileged to know this man and call him a friend. He has been a great source of wisdom and kindness to me in the past 2 years I've known him.
1. I need to make the Lord my friend - this only comes with the gospel and humility.
2. As a youth pastor - what am I doing that is helping my students treasure Christ above all else? I can say this for a woman ministering to others - either in daily relationships, facebook relationships, phone conversations, speaking engagements, or writing. How do I do this - what am I treasuring above all else and how am I helping women get there too?
3. I need to hold the gospel dear! Not programs, or ways of doing ministry, or churches, etc - but the gospel needs to be the dearest thing to me - the thing I speak mostly of.
4. All the world has to offer is fleeting. I thought about this on the way home. My bag that I was traveling with was given to me by my mom - she got it for free. It ripped wide open when I get off the escalator in RDU. Thankfully, a friend was standing right there to offer assistance (God ordained for him to be waiting for his wife to land at that exact time) - but during my flight I was wondering if my bag would make it. And honestly - all that stuff doesn't matter - but all my makeup was in there, my camera, my toiletries, stuff I had bought over the wknd (great evoo from Southern Season) - I didn't want to lose it. And I was very thankful when it came around the luggage conveyor at SDF!
Dave Owen - College Pastor at Providence. On the flight out there from ATL to RDU a guy sat in front of me who was so excited he was going to get to hear Dave Owen on Sunday - he had such a tremendous impact on this young guy's life - he is now serving in Sweden with Campus Crusade.
1. At meals - their kids pray for missionaries and countries all over the globe. How do they remember to do that? Their placemats are maps of the world. They pray for these folks strategically. Teaching his kids - even as young as they are - to have a heartbeat for the world.
David Michael - Children Desiring God - Bethlehem Baptist Church. He spoke with much conviction when he would read the Word. You could tell he treasured the words of God!
1. Ps 19.12-13. I have really been praying this lately. All of my life is clouded with sin right now because I am a sinner (saved by grace), but I live in the flesh until I am set free from this bondage and am in Heaven. All my good works are even as filthy rags. But, God is renewing me and sanctifying me daily! I am so glad of that.
2. Let me know get discouraged and lose heart - don't even let me be tempted to lose heart in ministry. God has called us to something higher - rather than the world's standards of ministry.
Randy Stinson - Dean of the School of Church Ministries at SBTS, and President of CBMW. I have had almost 2 years of working for this man. I enjoy my job. He is a man of integrity.
1. The family can't impede the gospel. I want my life, and hopefully one day my family, to be such a light for the gospel that it will not be harmed because of what I do.
2. Jokes about Dad are not a way to edify the family or the church. Most sitcoms are based on putting down the dads. This is not a way to live. We should be building up, praying for, etc the Dad's - as they seek to be the head of their homes.
3. Do I live in the now or in the light and hope of eternity?
The Shelly Moore Band was great. Here are some random thoughts from the songs:
1. The King of Glory poured out - victorious are we now. The only way I am victorious over the sins that plague me and haunt me daily - is through the blood of Jesus. How precious is that!
2. "Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I do." Let me glory in that alone!
3. May the folks I see and come in contact with see a liberated person in Christ! To See Christ!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Connecting Church and Home: Mike Glenn
Mike Glenn is the Lead Pastor of Brentwood - he was gracious enough to allow us to use his church this weekend and leads a strong ministry team here. He closed out the conference with a story about "little dude".
There is a transition going on. We think that we have to do what we are doing HARDER. It doesn’t matter what we are doing – as long as we do it harder. We aren’t asking the question, “Are we doing the right thing?” There is a shaking going on in the churches of North America. God cares more about the lost then our comfort.
You have to have that moment when you can’t turn back. We found out things weren’t working. When 70% of your people tell you they don’t know enough to share their testimony with a lost person…something is wrong.
Little Dude: every Tuesday night. Here is what we find out:
They bring in a ton of anger. They are angry at Dad, Mom, the church.
They are confused. Little Dudes and dudettes don’t know who they are. So, they listen to the world. Oprah. The church has let them down and has not told “Little Dudes” how to be - so they will listen to the people who are speaking.
They are victims. The world constantly tells them that.
We show them hope.
Hope gives us our identity. We show the hope we have in Christ. Hope is the assurance. God does not wear a watch. He is not limited by time or space. God is in your past – He is still in your past. He can heal that past. He is walking with you now. He is walking in your future. With Jesus – there is only now. That is the faith and hope we talk about. In this hope – Little Dudes find their identity. You are the created work, the Imago Dei, of the Creator – God of the Universe. You don’t have a value. You bear the signature of God!
Hope in their destiny. For this reason – you were created. We can help answer this question because we have the Hope. In Christ, through the cross and the goodness of God – you overcome. You have purpose. The world tells you that you are a victim, the gospel assures you that you are not.
The church: what are we to do?
We are on mission. We are not a Christian nation. Our culture does not support our children’s growth in Christ and in the knowledge of God. We are a people in exile.
We have to listen to our culture. We have to know movies we may not want to know, we have to read books we may not want to read, we have to twitter, text, etc.
We have to interpret the gospel in ways that they get. That is why the movie Fireproof and Facing the Giants worked. Good movies with good stories. They have a good message and it gave people something to think about.
We have to pray. All the false gods have been exposed. There has never been a better time to proclaim Christ.
There is a transition going on. We think that we have to do what we are doing HARDER. It doesn’t matter what we are doing – as long as we do it harder. We aren’t asking the question, “Are we doing the right thing?” There is a shaking going on in the churches of North America. God cares more about the lost then our comfort.
You have to have that moment when you can’t turn back. We found out things weren’t working. When 70% of your people tell you they don’t know enough to share their testimony with a lost person…something is wrong.
Little Dude: every Tuesday night. Here is what we find out:
They bring in a ton of anger. They are angry at Dad, Mom, the church.
They are confused. Little Dudes and dudettes don’t know who they are. So, they listen to the world. Oprah. The church has let them down and has not told “Little Dudes” how to be - so they will listen to the people who are speaking.
They are victims. The world constantly tells them that.
We show them hope.
Hope gives us our identity. We show the hope we have in Christ. Hope is the assurance. God does not wear a watch. He is not limited by time or space. God is in your past – He is still in your past. He can heal that past. He is walking with you now. He is walking in your future. With Jesus – there is only now. That is the faith and hope we talk about. In this hope – Little Dudes find their identity. You are the created work, the Imago Dei, of the Creator – God of the Universe. You don’t have a value. You bear the signature of God!
Hope in their destiny. For this reason – you were created. We can help answer this question because we have the Hope. In Christ, through the cross and the goodness of God – you overcome. You have purpose. The world tells you that you are a victim, the gospel assures you that you are not.
The church: what are we to do?
We are on mission. We are not a Christian nation. Our culture does not support our children’s growth in Christ and in the knowledge of God. We are a people in exile.
We have to listen to our culture. We have to know movies we may not want to know, we have to read books we may not want to read, we have to twitter, text, etc.
We have to interpret the gospel in ways that they get. That is why the movie Fireproof and Facing the Giants worked. Good movies with good stories. They have a good message and it gave people something to think about.
We have to pray. All the false gods have been exposed. There has never been a better time to proclaim Christ.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Connecting Church and Home: Randy Stinson
I love working for this man. He lives this out. But, here is my question. Where are the single men who live this out in their daily lives and are over the age of 22. I have yet to meet many of them.
“An Army of None”
1 Kings 2
Sociologists have called this generation of 20-somethings “Generation Me”.
They have a great sense of entitlement. They feel like an explanation is owed to them. This is one of the most self-absorbed generations in American History. This generation thinks that God owes them an explanation for everything that goes on in your life.
This is a therapeutic generation.
This generation has promoted the feminization of the Church. “I want my life to be a love song to you, Jesus.” It is a romanticized view of a relationship with Jesus. No wonder there are no men in the church. Let’s talk about the biblical church. We have an anti-boy culture. We are eliminating things like physical education and rough play. They are being told that being masculine is a condition.
Our culture is pushing for a broad feminization of men. Men aren’t being encouraged to lead, protect, and provide. They are being encouraged to be prettier, softer. This does not help them take on their biblical role of leadership. It is important for a man to know how to put on a tie. We are in a culture that wants men to go in the exact opposite direction from where God wants them go. They are pushing them to be completely self-centered. It encourages a self-preoccupation. Men are called to be self-sacrificial, not to lead for the good of themselves. Biblical leadership is good for the ones being led. Men are called to be protectors. It is for the good of another. Men are called to be providers. It is for the welfare of others, not at the expense of others. This is a battle. God declared this battle in Genesis 3.15.
My concern is that we are going to have a “top to toe” man, but they are unable to fulfill God given mandates of leadership to the point of self-neglect. My fear is that we are going to have an army of none. If you are going to reach families you have to reach the men. God’s call for men is to be leaders, protectors, and providers. This is different then the biblical mandate for women. Men and women are equally called to obey God – but the context is different, they are going to do it in two totally different ways.
There is also a Christ-likeness that we should be reminded of in this passage. You read the failings of Solomon and have to be drawn to the perfectness of our King. Jesus didn’t fail. He had the balance of provision and masculine, righteous, anger in the cleansing of the Temple.
One of the problems of men having a biblical understanding of manhood – they have a wrong picture of who Jesus is. They have feminized pictures of Jesus – a Precious Moments Jesus, soft flowing hair, smooth skin, etc. Revelations gives a different picture of Jesus: a sword coming from his mouth, flames…so the nations will know that I am God.
If we want a revolution – we must have a compelling vision of manhood. Hold it up, model it in your own lives. You were made for battle. Let’s reclaim the spiritual warfare language. If we remind men they are in a battle maybe they will start acting like soldiers.
Biblical manhood is taught in the Bible, but it can also be cultivated. God will bring things into your life to help you lead, provide, and protect. David was ready for battle as a shepherd. He killed a lion and a bear with his own hands. And he played a harp. God brings challenges into our lives to make us more masculine. We have elbow pads, helmets, we baby them through everything. Then they turn 18 – and they are going to say “wait, I might get hurt”.
God might use these things to help encourage the men in your church:
1. Do the hard task first. Passivity is a killer of masculinity. Reject passivity.
2. Make the hardest phone call first. Fear of man. Don’t cultivate fear of man in your life.
3. Run to the battle. What I am trying to cultivate in my sons is the first step is forward. Not to run away from the battle.
4. Do your work now instead of later. God has called us to exercise dominion. Don’t procrastinate.
5. Keep your domain in order. Your home, dorm room, office, trunk of your car.
6. Kill a bear or a lion. Don’t run from the bear or the lion in your life. Some of you have people in your life who don’t know Jesus…share with them. Don’t be scared. A fast-beating heart does not mean you aren’t supposed to do something. Go deal with it. See number 1.
These things don’t make you a man. These do help cultivate manhood. If we don’t have ways to help men understand what manhood is – then we will have an army of none. But, if you will go back to your churches and hold up the banner of biblical manhood – call them into battle – remind them that they were made for battle. They will be the ones to lead the charge. They will be criticizes and challenged. They will be called to think of others more than themselves. But, don’t sit around waiting for an endorsement from the world. Be strong and prove yourself a man.
“An Army of None”
1 Kings 2
Sociologists have called this generation of 20-somethings “Generation Me”.
They have a great sense of entitlement. They feel like an explanation is owed to them. This is one of the most self-absorbed generations in American History. This generation thinks that God owes them an explanation for everything that goes on in your life.
This is a therapeutic generation.
This generation has promoted the feminization of the Church. “I want my life to be a love song to you, Jesus.” It is a romanticized view of a relationship with Jesus. No wonder there are no men in the church. Let’s talk about the biblical church. We have an anti-boy culture. We are eliminating things like physical education and rough play. They are being told that being masculine is a condition.
Our culture is pushing for a broad feminization of men. Men aren’t being encouraged to lead, protect, and provide. They are being encouraged to be prettier, softer. This does not help them take on their biblical role of leadership. It is important for a man to know how to put on a tie. We are in a culture that wants men to go in the exact opposite direction from where God wants them go. They are pushing them to be completely self-centered. It encourages a self-preoccupation. Men are called to be self-sacrificial, not to lead for the good of themselves. Biblical leadership is good for the ones being led. Men are called to be protectors. It is for the good of another. Men are called to be providers. It is for the welfare of others, not at the expense of others. This is a battle. God declared this battle in Genesis 3.15.
My concern is that we are going to have a “top to toe” man, but they are unable to fulfill God given mandates of leadership to the point of self-neglect. My fear is that we are going to have an army of none. If you are going to reach families you have to reach the men. God’s call for men is to be leaders, protectors, and providers. This is different then the biblical mandate for women. Men and women are equally called to obey God – but the context is different, they are going to do it in two totally different ways.
There is also a Christ-likeness that we should be reminded of in this passage. You read the failings of Solomon and have to be drawn to the perfectness of our King. Jesus didn’t fail. He had the balance of provision and masculine, righteous, anger in the cleansing of the Temple.
One of the problems of men having a biblical understanding of manhood – they have a wrong picture of who Jesus is. They have feminized pictures of Jesus – a Precious Moments Jesus, soft flowing hair, smooth skin, etc. Revelations gives a different picture of Jesus: a sword coming from his mouth, flames…so the nations will know that I am God.
If we want a revolution – we must have a compelling vision of manhood. Hold it up, model it in your own lives. You were made for battle. Let’s reclaim the spiritual warfare language. If we remind men they are in a battle maybe they will start acting like soldiers.
Biblical manhood is taught in the Bible, but it can also be cultivated. God will bring things into your life to help you lead, provide, and protect. David was ready for battle as a shepherd. He killed a lion and a bear with his own hands. And he played a harp. God brings challenges into our lives to make us more masculine. We have elbow pads, helmets, we baby them through everything. Then they turn 18 – and they are going to say “wait, I might get hurt”.
God might use these things to help encourage the men in your church:
1. Do the hard task first. Passivity is a killer of masculinity. Reject passivity.
2. Make the hardest phone call first. Fear of man. Don’t cultivate fear of man in your life.
3. Run to the battle. What I am trying to cultivate in my sons is the first step is forward. Not to run away from the battle.
4. Do your work now instead of later. God has called us to exercise dominion. Don’t procrastinate.
5. Keep your domain in order. Your home, dorm room, office, trunk of your car.
6. Kill a bear or a lion. Don’t run from the bear or the lion in your life. Some of you have people in your life who don’t know Jesus…share with them. Don’t be scared. A fast-beating heart does not mean you aren’t supposed to do something. Go deal with it. See number 1.
These things don’t make you a man. These do help cultivate manhood. If we don’t have ways to help men understand what manhood is – then we will have an army of none. But, if you will go back to your churches and hold up the banner of biblical manhood – call them into battle – remind them that they were made for battle. They will be the ones to lead the charge. They will be criticizes and challenged. They will be called to think of others more than themselves. But, don’t sit around waiting for an endorsement from the world. Be strong and prove yourself a man.
Connecting Church and Home: Brian Haynes
This man is humble and effective in ministry - at Kingsland in Katy, TX.
Brian Haynes
What are you getting yourself into?
You get yourself into God’s story. We are just moving, making a sihft, from what is right in our eyes to what was God’s plan from the beginning. We go to Deut 6 and see the Shema. We go to Psalm 78 – the story for the coming generations. Proverbs: “my son, train a child”. Eph 4.6 – “Fathers, train up your children”. Matthew 28, 22. There is a clear bridge from the Shema to the Great Commission. Home and church. Home doesn’t go away because the NT church is established. Everyone is asking the same question. How do we link the church and the home? Most are missing the link in the family. God is getting ready to do something for our culture that could be epic. It’s not going to be tent revivals or the mega church. Its going to happen around the family table. The family table is central to worship.
You get yourself into a spiritual battle. The enemy will attack you. YM is a claimed ground. You’ll have parents who don’t buy in to the idea. You’ll have workers leave. Satan will attack your family. You’ll think – is this right? Thank goodness for the Word of God. Praise the Risen Jesus Christ that He has defeated Satan. Satan will try to mess with you, distract you – all because you are trying to get on board with what God is doing. You are protected by the Almighty God. If this is just another model or book – than that is all it is. If you see it as God sees it – then it is historic. There is a battle.
You get yourself into the possibility of an extremely biblical church. I love the church. But, sometimes church is good. Sometimes, the church moves away from the Scripture. How can I link Deut 6 and the Great Commission – how do I put that into practice? If you do – you run the risk of an extremely biblical church and God will bless that. When you build the bridge, Church doesn’t become perfect, it does become extremely biblical. You get yourself into biblical community. You get yourself into partnership and accountability.
You get yourself into the hope of generational impact. My heart is that one day in our culture will come a day when people use a biblical worldview as their filter for everything. Cultural redesign – a culture who gets so far away from the Lord and comes running back to the Lord. I think about my children – what is life going to be like for them when they are 35. I think of grass root movements who equip their people to do the Family Table well. At our church, we talk much about legacy. Some have started to walk down this road a little bit. There is nothing more precious than passing down Christ to the next generation in the context of the home. When you empower people to do that, you are giving them a gift. So, here’s my dream. My prayer is that one day I will walk around Katy and Kingsland and see people living out the discipleship of parents to their children. That is how the culture is going to be redesigned.
2 King 17-18
These are dark days in Israel. Israel was exiled because of sin. They were sinning and a stiff-necked people. They forsook God and worshipped idols. They sacrificed their sons and daughters in the fire.
The Lord was angry and removed them from His presence. The Israelites persisted in their sins.
Compare the days of Israel to today. We need a cultural redesign. I do not want to be the culture who is removed from the presence of the Lord.
Hezekiah – he did what was right in the sight of the Lord. His Mother is mentioned. His mother trained him. He trusted in the Lord. There was none like him among all the kings of Israel. He kept the commands of the Lord. The Lord was with him. Such a contrast. It takes one generation to make a difference.
Brian Haynes
What are you getting yourself into?
You get yourself into God’s story. We are just moving, making a sihft, from what is right in our eyes to what was God’s plan from the beginning. We go to Deut 6 and see the Shema. We go to Psalm 78 – the story for the coming generations. Proverbs: “my son, train a child”. Eph 4.6 – “Fathers, train up your children”. Matthew 28, 22. There is a clear bridge from the Shema to the Great Commission. Home and church. Home doesn’t go away because the NT church is established. Everyone is asking the same question. How do we link the church and the home? Most are missing the link in the family. God is getting ready to do something for our culture that could be epic. It’s not going to be tent revivals or the mega church. Its going to happen around the family table. The family table is central to worship.
You get yourself into a spiritual battle. The enemy will attack you. YM is a claimed ground. You’ll have parents who don’t buy in to the idea. You’ll have workers leave. Satan will attack your family. You’ll think – is this right? Thank goodness for the Word of God. Praise the Risen Jesus Christ that He has defeated Satan. Satan will try to mess with you, distract you – all because you are trying to get on board with what God is doing. You are protected by the Almighty God. If this is just another model or book – than that is all it is. If you see it as God sees it – then it is historic. There is a battle.
You get yourself into the possibility of an extremely biblical church. I love the church. But, sometimes church is good. Sometimes, the church moves away from the Scripture. How can I link Deut 6 and the Great Commission – how do I put that into practice? If you do – you run the risk of an extremely biblical church and God will bless that. When you build the bridge, Church doesn’t become perfect, it does become extremely biblical. You get yourself into biblical community. You get yourself into partnership and accountability.
You get yourself into the hope of generational impact. My heart is that one day in our culture will come a day when people use a biblical worldview as their filter for everything. Cultural redesign – a culture who gets so far away from the Lord and comes running back to the Lord. I think about my children – what is life going to be like for them when they are 35. I think of grass root movements who equip their people to do the Family Table well. At our church, we talk much about legacy. Some have started to walk down this road a little bit. There is nothing more precious than passing down Christ to the next generation in the context of the home. When you empower people to do that, you are giving them a gift. So, here’s my dream. My prayer is that one day I will walk around Katy and Kingsland and see people living out the discipleship of parents to their children. That is how the culture is going to be redesigned.
2 King 17-18
These are dark days in Israel. Israel was exiled because of sin. They were sinning and a stiff-necked people. They forsook God and worshipped idols. They sacrificed their sons and daughters in the fire.
The Lord was angry and removed them from His presence. The Israelites persisted in their sins.
Compare the days of Israel to today. We need a cultural redesign. I do not want to be the culture who is removed from the presence of the Lord.
Hezekiah – he did what was right in the sight of the Lord. His Mother is mentioned. His mother trained him. He trusted in the Lord. There was none like him among all the kings of Israel. He kept the commands of the Lord. The Lord was with him. Such a contrast. It takes one generation to make a difference.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
