How many of you have messed something up because you were too proud or stubborn to follow the directions? Over the past few decades, we women decided we needed to put out a new definition of womanhood. Men and women are the same and should be treated the same. Being like men became our highest goal. Men should be more like women; and women should be more like men.
Genesis of Gender (God’s original design for male and female – the directions – the theological meat of gender). Genesis 1 reveals male and female are more like God than anything else in the universe:
1.26-27 “Let us make man in our image.” God is talking to God – the Father is talking to the Son. God created male and female in His image. There is something about the us of God – the relationship of the Trinity – that speaks to gender. He created male and female, gender displays God. How we relate is an object lesson, a parable, the story isn’t about us. Scripture saiys God created sons and daughters to display HIS GLORY. Male and female are the focal point of everything God made. When you observe the differences in male and female, all these things tell a story. Gender and sex constantly display truth about God.
Paul says in Romans 1 that people are without excuse because gender screams out two truths about God: His power and his diving nature. He wants us to get it. Eph 5 connects the dots, marriage and sex, male and female, all illustrate the Gospel Story. That is why God created male and female. Before the foundation of the earth, God knew the story of the Gospel – He had this in mind when He made male and female in the garden during the week of Creation.
12 differences in male and female evident in creation (Girls Gone Wise, Chapter 9):
1. Male is uniquely male – he is firstborn. 2.7. God created male first. This is not random. The firstborn son held a special position in the family – responsible to carry out his father’s instruction. Adam was the firstborn of the human race. Romans tells us that in Adam, all die. This points us to Christ – Col 1 – he took Adam’s place. He is the firstborn, the last Adam, the representative for all who place their trust in Him (Hebrews). Paul tells Timothy the reason men are called to be leaders of the church is because Adam was created first. Men need to step up and be responsible for the church family; as well as his earthly family (Eph 5).
2. The male was put in the garden. 2.15. God took the man from where he was created and put him in the garden. God created man out in the wild, from the dust of the dessert, and put him in the Garden of Eden. A garden is a place with specified boundaries.
3. The male was commissioned to work. 2.15. Work is translated for tilling soil. It contains the idea of serving someone else. Man’s life in the garden was not for himself, but he was to provide for his family’s need. The primary responsibility for provision for a family lies with the man; this is in their makeup.
4. The male was commissioned to protect. 2.15. “Keep” translates to be in charge of, oversight, to be attentive, protect what is in one’s charge. He created men to be stronger, more suited for a fight.
5. The male receives spiritual instruction. 2.16-17. Before woman arrived on the scene, God put the instruction to the man. Woman had a personal relationship with the Lord, but as leader of his newly formed family unit – he needed to know God’s command.
6. The male learned to exercise authority. 2.19. This “naming of the animals” was a training exercise for authority. He was mentoring him in how to do that – how to govern well. He wanted him to exercise that authority with gentleness, care, and wisdom.
7. The female was created from the male. 2.22.23. We need to remember where we came from. We are not to regard that which we were created from as lesser than us. It was proper for the woman to have a sense of respect for the male from which she was created.
8. The female was created for the male. 2.22. It was not the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. The Hebrew preposition denotes direction – with reference to, or towards him, his existence led to hers. We have fallen so far from the created order. When brides walk down the aisle, we need to be thinking “I was created for this man.”
9. The female was created to help. 2.20. Help with what? She is a helper “fit” for him – a like opposite – a complement to him. His purpose was to glorify God – woman helps man glorify God more than man could do by himself.
10. The female deferred to the male. 2.23. She didn’t try to have dominion over him.
11. The female was the perfect counterpart. 2.25. The sound of the ish and the isha are similar, but ish comes from the root: strength, and isha comes from the root: soft. Strength and soft. She is able to receive. The biblical meaning for strength: a champion valiantly serving his people, manhood, virility. Woman’s corresponding softness is her ability to give life, directed by inner strength. The bodies of male and female show this. A woman’s body is meant to receive; a man’s body is designed to give. She is the beautiful soft woman. Each is a beautiful counterpart. According to Scripture, it is a woman’s softness, our ability to nurture, that is our greatest strength.
12. The woman was created in the garden. Gen 2.15. Female was created in a place of safety. The place that was designed as a place of authority by her husband. She is the constant beneficiary of the protection God has put in her life.
God’s design for biblical manhood and womanhood is spectacular. The sexes complement each other – both exult to the glory of the Gospel. Ultimately, that is what women and men are supposed to do. God designed creation and gender in this way so we could have a display of the Gospel – the story of His Son and His Bride. It also gave us a picture of longing, desire, and relationship. The visible symbols give picture to the unseen – that is why gender is SO important. Is it any wonder Satan tries to destroy this picture? It is where we hurt the most.
Conclusion:
1. God has a spectactular design for your womanhood. He has a pattern for what He wants for you to be as woman. It is very profound and significant.
2. God wants you to say yes to His design. He wants you to recognize the ways you have messed up your life by not wanting to read the directions. It is not a cookie-cutter or a list. True womanhood says yes to God and His right to be God. I am a true woman when I acknowledge that God has the best insight into who I am and how I should live.
3. God will do an amazing work of restoration.
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Women in Combat and Gender Roles
I love the Patriot - the Mel Gibson movie about the early days of our country and fighting for freedom. It is one of my favorite films: always in a mood to watch it, and I always cry during several parts. Courage, bravery, family, loss: these are things of which make a good movie. In this movie, Mel Gibson, aka Benjamin Martin, is spurred on to fight for his country when the fighting hits close to home. What Benjamin doesn’t do is urge his sister-in-law, Aunt Charlotte, to fight in his stead. He sends the younger children to stay with her. Was it because Aunt Charlotte wasn’t capable of shooting a musket? No. It was because she was to be at home taking care of the children.
Why do I bring this up? Andrew Sicree wrote an article in the latest edition of Touchstone Magazine entitled “Mothers in the Line of Fire”. His basic premise is that women fighting in combat as immoral based on a pro-life argument. Especially in light of the coming anniversary of Roe V. Wade, I am all for pro-life. Our worth is based on the truth that we were created male and female in the image of God (Genesis 1.27-28). However, even though his logic is sound, I think this is a secondary argument, one that totally leaves behind the first argument about women in the military.
First, some thoughts from Sicree:
“The moral question of placing women in combat applies to all women who serve in positions that make them legitimate military targets, even if they are not engaged in actual combat.” (p. 23)
“The fact remains that it is not men but women who carry pre-born children within their wombs.” (p 24). While true, I do not see much validity in this argument. Men are needed in the “be fruitful and multiply” command as well. And, while yes, women are the only ones who can actually give birth; men are very important as leaders in the home and as fathers. Sicree uses this as the base for his argument, “it is rather, the uniqueness of women as bearers of pre-born children that creates a unique moral problem for women in combat.” (p 24) That is not up for debate, men were not created to be child-bearers.
Sicree alludes to the Just War theory as it says “that waging war on a non-combatant is immoral. If it is immoral to bring war to non-combatants, surely it is likewise immoral to take an innocent non-combatant into a combat zone.” If his argument is the endangerment of the child (or the mother carrying the child), then a woman who is sexually active and may be pregnant (without knowing it) should not ride roller coasters, eat luncheon meat, or drink alcohol.
Leaving Sicree’s argument where it is, what should be the underlying reason for women not to fight in the military? I can’t lay out a verse and say “The Bible says it is wrong for women to fight” because there isn’t one. That doesn’t mean there aren’t many verses that give reason why women shouldn’t fight or be involved in military combat.
1. Women weren’t created as warriors; they were created as helpmates and nurturers (Gen 2.20; Prov 31.27). Men were created to be protectors. 1 Peter 3.7 gives the command to husbands to “show honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you”.
2. In CBMW’s resolution on women in combat, the organization says, “the purpose of combat is to inflict deadly harm upon an enemy, and the essence of combat is to engage an enemy in order to kill, slay and destroy – a purpose and essence aligned with the gender-based roles and responsibilities of males but opposed to the gender-based role and responsibilities of females.”
3. Scripture sets a pattern for men serving in battle. Throughout the Old Testament we see men going off to war. It would have been degrading to the enemy if the opposition sent its women to fight. It just wasn’t done. Deuteronomy 20 speaks of the laws or warfare, calling men to be valiant, brave, and to “draw near to battle” because the “Lord your God is he who goes with you fight for you against your enemies”. (Deut 20.4)
4. I would say that, as with many other oddities in our culture, the fact that women are serving at all in military combative positions is a failure of male leadership. This doesn’t say that I am ungrateful for the women who have given their lives and have sacrificed much on my behalf. I am grateful for the protection you offer; but, you shouldn’t have to. Men should be fulfilling their role as protective citizens. They are men. Men, I plead for you to step up and protect your families, just as Benjamin Martin did in going to war in the 1700s.
There are so many more points and thoughts related to this topic. I can not cover them all. This topic brings up gender neutrality, authority, who is going to raise the children, etc. This is not a perfect world. Sin entered and there has been a battle waging ever since. That war is targeted at the family. By women going off to war with the men, this is just one more scar from the war. As with failing marriages, families is disarray, women pasturing local church and teaching doctrine to men, and a multitude of other areas where the gender roles are bent, this area of women in combat is one more area that needs redemption by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And to that end, I say, “come, Lord Jesus.”
Why do I bring this up? Andrew Sicree wrote an article in the latest edition of Touchstone Magazine entitled “Mothers in the Line of Fire”. His basic premise is that women fighting in combat as immoral based on a pro-life argument. Especially in light of the coming anniversary of Roe V. Wade, I am all for pro-life. Our worth is based on the truth that we were created male and female in the image of God (Genesis 1.27-28). However, even though his logic is sound, I think this is a secondary argument, one that totally leaves behind the first argument about women in the military.
First, some thoughts from Sicree:
“The moral question of placing women in combat applies to all women who serve in positions that make them legitimate military targets, even if they are not engaged in actual combat.” (p. 23)
“The fact remains that it is not men but women who carry pre-born children within their wombs.” (p 24). While true, I do not see much validity in this argument. Men are needed in the “be fruitful and multiply” command as well. And, while yes, women are the only ones who can actually give birth; men are very important as leaders in the home and as fathers. Sicree uses this as the base for his argument, “it is rather, the uniqueness of women as bearers of pre-born children that creates a unique moral problem for women in combat.” (p 24) That is not up for debate, men were not created to be child-bearers.
Sicree alludes to the Just War theory as it says “that waging war on a non-combatant is immoral. If it is immoral to bring war to non-combatants, surely it is likewise immoral to take an innocent non-combatant into a combat zone.” If his argument is the endangerment of the child (or the mother carrying the child), then a woman who is sexually active and may be pregnant (without knowing it) should not ride roller coasters, eat luncheon meat, or drink alcohol.
Leaving Sicree’s argument where it is, what should be the underlying reason for women not to fight in the military? I can’t lay out a verse and say “The Bible says it is wrong for women to fight” because there isn’t one. That doesn’t mean there aren’t many verses that give reason why women shouldn’t fight or be involved in military combat.
1. Women weren’t created as warriors; they were created as helpmates and nurturers (Gen 2.20; Prov 31.27). Men were created to be protectors. 1 Peter 3.7 gives the command to husbands to “show honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you”.
2. In CBMW’s resolution on women in combat, the organization says, “the purpose of combat is to inflict deadly harm upon an enemy, and the essence of combat is to engage an enemy in order to kill, slay and destroy – a purpose and essence aligned with the gender-based roles and responsibilities of males but opposed to the gender-based role and responsibilities of females.”
3. Scripture sets a pattern for men serving in battle. Throughout the Old Testament we see men going off to war. It would have been degrading to the enemy if the opposition sent its women to fight. It just wasn’t done. Deuteronomy 20 speaks of the laws or warfare, calling men to be valiant, brave, and to “draw near to battle” because the “Lord your God is he who goes with you fight for you against your enemies”. (Deut 20.4)
4. I would say that, as with many other oddities in our culture, the fact that women are serving at all in military combative positions is a failure of male leadership. This doesn’t say that I am ungrateful for the women who have given their lives and have sacrificed much on my behalf. I am grateful for the protection you offer; but, you shouldn’t have to. Men should be fulfilling their role as protective citizens. They are men. Men, I plead for you to step up and protect your families, just as Benjamin Martin did in going to war in the 1700s.
There are so many more points and thoughts related to this topic. I can not cover them all. This topic brings up gender neutrality, authority, who is going to raise the children, etc. This is not a perfect world. Sin entered and there has been a battle waging ever since. That war is targeted at the family. By women going off to war with the men, this is just one more scar from the war. As with failing marriages, families is disarray, women pasturing local church and teaching doctrine to men, and a multitude of other areas where the gender roles are bent, this area of women in combat is one more area that needs redemption by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And to that end, I say, “come, Lord Jesus.”
Friday, July 24, 2009
Women in the SBC
Much in the news lately about former President Jimmy Carter and his leaving the SBC church in GA he was a member of because of their position on women in leadership in the church. So, here we are again. Some people think the Gender debate is old news and not very relevant any more. But - it SO IS! This needs to be discussed in our churches, our homes, our families, our communities.
Here are some thoughts:
1. Scripture teaches that men and women are created equal in the sight of God but with different functions (Gen 1-3).
2. Scripture also teaches that in the local church, men are to serve as the head (1 Tim 3).
That is really what the whole argument of women leading the local church boils down to.
These next few points are for ladies.
I used to think that teaching men was the one thing I wanted to do - or at least be up in front of everyone talking, leading a youth group (full of young men), etc.
But, why do we aspire to be leaders of the church - the teaching elders of a church?
Sin - That part in Genesis 3 where we desire to rule over our husbands and where we seek to form our own heart idols - our little g gods. We want to, in our flesh, usurp God's authority and His Word in our lives.
Do we not think that the following is just as good of a role to accomplish and fulfill?
1. Being a wife and a mother - teaching our children to fear God, loving and helping our husbands (Eph 5, 6)?
2. Training the younger women to love their husbands, have solid doctrine, be wise and smart in things of the home (Titus 2, Prov 31)
3. Training children in the local church - VBS, weekly children's time, etc.
These are the things that are beautiful. We, as women, should not desire to be the pastors and men-teachers in the local church. We should love to be what God has called us to be - nurturers of our home, lovers of our husbands, and most importantly lovers of God, passionately loving Jesus, making Him gloriously known throughout the world, and to be Christ-followers - humbled by grace.
Here are some thoughts:
1. Scripture teaches that men and women are created equal in the sight of God but with different functions (Gen 1-3).
2. Scripture also teaches that in the local church, men are to serve as the head (1 Tim 3).
That is really what the whole argument of women leading the local church boils down to.
These next few points are for ladies.
I used to think that teaching men was the one thing I wanted to do - or at least be up in front of everyone talking, leading a youth group (full of young men), etc.
But, why do we aspire to be leaders of the church - the teaching elders of a church?
Sin - That part in Genesis 3 where we desire to rule over our husbands and where we seek to form our own heart idols - our little g gods. We want to, in our flesh, usurp God's authority and His Word in our lives.
Do we not think that the following is just as good of a role to accomplish and fulfill?
1. Being a wife and a mother - teaching our children to fear God, loving and helping our husbands (Eph 5, 6)?
2. Training the younger women to love their husbands, have solid doctrine, be wise and smart in things of the home (Titus 2, Prov 31)
3. Training children in the local church - VBS, weekly children's time, etc.
These are the things that are beautiful. We, as women, should not desire to be the pastors and men-teachers in the local church. We should love to be what God has called us to be - nurturers of our home, lovers of our husbands, and most importantly lovers of God, passionately loving Jesus, making Him gloriously known throughout the world, and to be Christ-followers - humbled by grace.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Lauren Winner on the Gender Gap
What an important topic and article for today: in education, the home, single life, and the church. At the outset - this article does not apply to everyone I know. Many of the married men I know, both younger and older than me, are incredible guys and their wives are equally great. But, this does apply to a lot of the women I know (who do everything and are great), and a lack of male leadership in churches, dating arenas, etc - who can live up to those standards. The real reason I was drawn to this article is I know so many great, wonderful, smart, beautiful, over 25 single women who want to be a wife and mother. All of our married friends say: "There are no good guys out there that I would even want to set you up with. They aren't caliber enough."
Anyway...Lauren Winner is an author. I found this article on Boundless, an online ministry to singles done by Focus on the Family. I found it very compelling and true - not needing an apology.
And one more thing before I get started: I'm thankful for knowing men who defy this article and are training men they know to also go against the odds in this study. Thank you for setting the bar high!
I'm not going to rehash the whole article, but pulling out the highlighted portions from my reading:
"Regardless of what we say we think about women and leadership, when it comes to college-aged and 20-somethings, women are leading in all sorts of areas." I so wish this wasn't true. Yes, I think it is great for women to go to college, get a degree, serve in their churches, be involved in the community, love on others. But, if we do it all - the men are going to continue this slide into non-involvement. Just because there is a lack of male leadership, doesn't mean we can usurp the authority of the Word of God and be the leaders (especially in the church and home).
"What's going on here is not just volunteering or service, but real lay leadership. I'm thrilled to have so many active, vibrant women working with me, but I do wonder why the guys are so slack. And I probably perpetuate things, because now, when I really need something done, I often don't even think to ask any guys. I go to the women who I know can get things done." Unfortunately, this way of thinking is happening in many churches - and is the inevitable outcome of my thoughts on the above portion.
Winner attributes some of this to the amount of time 20-somethings spend playing video games, exercising, sleeping, and watching TV. I agree with her partly on this - but I think there are far more important reasons than these. These are just the outworking of lack of leadership and discipline. "Men devote far more time than women to playing computer games, exercise more, and watch more TV, and are more likely to oversleep and miss class."
She goes on to talk about the formative years in late elementary school all the way through college. Even now, as I walk past the gym or go work out, I see an overwhelming majority of men (even in ratio to the amount of men who outnumber the women at this school) playing basketball, ping pong, watching ESPN, or chilling with friends in the school cafe, or playing frisbee on the lawn. These are important - community, exercise, "down time" - but not the exclusion of doing the "hard things" (as the Harris brothers have said in their book).
Here are three main points about this study that I want to make:
1. Parents - please train up the future generation to not play video games all the time. Ok - its not the fault of video games. Train, especially your boys, to grow up to have leadership, responsibility, caring, assertive, integrity, work ethic. Instill in them a sense of right and wrong when it comes to being lazy. Laziness is all over the Proverbs as a destructive trait.
2. Pastors - Don't let this happen. Be on the lookout for 20-somethings in your church who are just slackers. Teach them how to step up to the plate and take control of things - serving, being men, having leadership roles early in their lives within the church.
3. Men - (Single). Step up. Be a man. God gave you leadership roles in the church and home. Don't be a wuss. (Married). Live this out - bring single men under you to mentor them - don't be a wuss.
Anyway...Lauren Winner is an author. I found this article on Boundless, an online ministry to singles done by Focus on the Family. I found it very compelling and true - not needing an apology.
And one more thing before I get started: I'm thankful for knowing men who defy this article and are training men they know to also go against the odds in this study. Thank you for setting the bar high!
I'm not going to rehash the whole article, but pulling out the highlighted portions from my reading:
"Regardless of what we say we think about women and leadership, when it comes to college-aged and 20-somethings, women are leading in all sorts of areas." I so wish this wasn't true. Yes, I think it is great for women to go to college, get a degree, serve in their churches, be involved in the community, love on others. But, if we do it all - the men are going to continue this slide into non-involvement. Just because there is a lack of male leadership, doesn't mean we can usurp the authority of the Word of God and be the leaders (especially in the church and home).
"What's going on here is not just volunteering or service, but real lay leadership. I'm thrilled to have so many active, vibrant women working with me, but I do wonder why the guys are so slack. And I probably perpetuate things, because now, when I really need something done, I often don't even think to ask any guys. I go to the women who I know can get things done." Unfortunately, this way of thinking is happening in many churches - and is the inevitable outcome of my thoughts on the above portion.
Winner attributes some of this to the amount of time 20-somethings spend playing video games, exercising, sleeping, and watching TV. I agree with her partly on this - but I think there are far more important reasons than these. These are just the outworking of lack of leadership and discipline. "Men devote far more time than women to playing computer games, exercise more, and watch more TV, and are more likely to oversleep and miss class."
She goes on to talk about the formative years in late elementary school all the way through college. Even now, as I walk past the gym or go work out, I see an overwhelming majority of men (even in ratio to the amount of men who outnumber the women at this school) playing basketball, ping pong, watching ESPN, or chilling with friends in the school cafe, or playing frisbee on the lawn. These are important - community, exercise, "down time" - but not the exclusion of doing the "hard things" (as the Harris brothers have said in their book).
Here are three main points about this study that I want to make:
1. Parents - please train up the future generation to not play video games all the time. Ok - its not the fault of video games. Train, especially your boys, to grow up to have leadership, responsibility, caring, assertive, integrity, work ethic. Instill in them a sense of right and wrong when it comes to being lazy. Laziness is all over the Proverbs as a destructive trait.
2. Pastors - Don't let this happen. Be on the lookout for 20-somethings in your church who are just slackers. Teach them how to step up to the plate and take control of things - serving, being men, having leadership roles early in their lives within the church.
3. Men - (Single). Step up. Be a man. God gave you leadership roles in the church and home. Don't be a wuss. (Married). Live this out - bring single men under you to mentor them - don't be a wuss.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Gender Roles Pre-Marriage
This blog post has been in the thinking process for a few days now. But last night, conversing with a friend, something came out of my mouth that put in all into perspective for me.
First to the ladies: Ladies, especially single ones, we need to be living out biblical womanhood now, while we are single. God did not create us as married women - He created us as women - and desires for us to live as women who model biblical womanhood (that's why He gave us women in the Bible, and the writings of Paul). If you need two books to read on this subject - I would recommend Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye - really a book on how to live out biblical womanhood while you are single (Prov 31) written by a single woman, Carolyn McCulley. The second would be RBMW - Piper and Grudem - what was known as the big blue book when I was coming through seminary. Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is not named Council on Biblical Husbands and Wives. Because that is not where the character is rooted. Our character and qualities as woman are honed by God in our lives prior to us getting married. So, don't be saying to yourself, one day, if I get married, I'll do this...and be this way... Start living the way God would want you to live now: care for the men in your life as brothers in Christ, keep your home, be hospitable in your home and in your church, love your neighbors, learn from older women on how to do these things, mentor the younger women in your life, live by grace, focus on your walk with God - being who God wants you to be as a woman of God.
Married Women - two more books (besides the two above): Biblical Womanhood in the Home (ed by Nancy Leigh Demoss) and Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. I have read both and re-read both and couldn't recommend books more highly on the subject than these. Love your husbands, respect your husbands, keep your home. First priority in your life, outside of your relationship with God, should be your husbands - then your children and home. That is not to say that you can't work, go to school, hang out with other women - but as Prov 31.12 says - she is to do her husband good all the days of her life. That is going to look for each couple - but our first priority should be our husbands.
Pastors/Godly Leaders - I love the older (or younger) godly men in my life - am so thankful that God has allowed us to be friends. Please shepherd the young men in your keep to be biblical men - to love the women in their life (all of them) as sisters in Christ. Keep setting the bar high in your churches for your men to love Christ, love their wives, show us single women what biblical husbands should be - so that we will know what to look for in our future husbands.
I speak for several single women - we want biblical leaders, masculine, Christ-like men as our husbands. Pastors - please teach this. We crave it and desire it.
Prov 31, Eph 5, Gen 1-2, 1 Peter, 1 Tim 1-3
First to the ladies: Ladies, especially single ones, we need to be living out biblical womanhood now, while we are single. God did not create us as married women - He created us as women - and desires for us to live as women who model biblical womanhood (that's why He gave us women in the Bible, and the writings of Paul). If you need two books to read on this subject - I would recommend Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye - really a book on how to live out biblical womanhood while you are single (Prov 31) written by a single woman, Carolyn McCulley. The second would be RBMW - Piper and Grudem - what was known as the big blue book when I was coming through seminary. Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is not named Council on Biblical Husbands and Wives. Because that is not where the character is rooted. Our character and qualities as woman are honed by God in our lives prior to us getting married. So, don't be saying to yourself, one day, if I get married, I'll do this...and be this way... Start living the way God would want you to live now: care for the men in your life as brothers in Christ, keep your home, be hospitable in your home and in your church, love your neighbors, learn from older women on how to do these things, mentor the younger women in your life, live by grace, focus on your walk with God - being who God wants you to be as a woman of God.
Married Women - two more books (besides the two above): Biblical Womanhood in the Home (ed by Nancy Leigh Demoss) and Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. I have read both and re-read both and couldn't recommend books more highly on the subject than these. Love your husbands, respect your husbands, keep your home. First priority in your life, outside of your relationship with God, should be your husbands - then your children and home. That is not to say that you can't work, go to school, hang out with other women - but as Prov 31.12 says - she is to do her husband good all the days of her life. That is going to look for each couple - but our first priority should be our husbands.
Pastors/Godly Leaders - I love the older (or younger) godly men in my life - am so thankful that God has allowed us to be friends. Please shepherd the young men in your keep to be biblical men - to love the women in their life (all of them) as sisters in Christ. Keep setting the bar high in your churches for your men to love Christ, love their wives, show us single women what biblical husbands should be - so that we will know what to look for in our future husbands.
I speak for several single women - we want biblical leaders, masculine, Christ-like men as our husbands. Pastors - please teach this. We crave it and desire it.
Prov 31, Eph 5, Gen 1-2, 1 Peter, 1 Tim 1-3
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Modesty, Femininity, & Feminism
I have few "soapboxes" but this definitely is one of them. I saw the bulk issue during my college years because I was living in St. Augustine doing youth ministry. It caused many problems: trying to get the girls to dress modestly when all they wanted to wear, especially 10 months out of the year, were bathing suits and tank tops.
The problem, I have learned, is not with the clothes you wear, the length of your skirt, and how many fingers-wide your tank top strap is. The problem lies in the heart and the motivation for wearing what we wear. I was given a CJ Mahaney sermon to listen to by Veronica Greear about the "Soul of Modesty" - you can find it here. I started listening to it before I left the church parking lot; and God had convicted me deep in my heart by the time I reached the red light (first couple minutes of the sermon which was mostly Scripture). Modesty is a matter of the heart, not necessarily of the closet.
How this whole blog entry came about today was by an article I read today in the Southern Baptist Texan, a newspaper out of Texas. One of the things Penna Dexter said was "Christian women and girls unwittingly undermine their testimonies by the way they dress." How true! Some of our girls are learning how to dress by watching the teen stars on television - and yes, this even occurs in our churches and youth groups. Modesty is about: a gentle and quiet spirit, not letting the outward appearance take control or define our inward spirit. If we want the world to see what Biblical Femininity is - the first thing they are going to see is how we dress. Now, I'm not saying we have to wear skirts that cover our ankles, long sleeve shirts in the summer time, and never wear a bathing suit. I am saying think before you buy an outfit. Think what this might say to a lost and dying world, or to younger girls that you are trying to mentor. Moms - think what your daughters are seeing every time they watch you get dressed to go somewhere. What are you modeling? I had a friend of mine in college tell me once, "It doesn't matter. I could wear a long sleeve shirt and jeans and guys would still lust after me." That isn't modesty. It is about the heart - and then that is reflected in the wardrobe.
One of the things that impressed me most in the Pastor CJ's sermon mentioned earlier (he preached it to his own people at Covenant Life in Gaithersburg, MD) was his emphasis on the Dad's being the head of the household, the spiritual leader, even in what their daughters and their wives wear (see 1 Tim 3.4). This is not widely seen in families today. Dexter said, "mothers hold the purse strings and have the final say regarding their daughters' clothes." Why is that? Do Dad's really not care how young men are looking at their daughters? Do they not care what their daughters' and wife's clothes say about them as a father and a husband? Dads - please, we want you to be the fathers God created you to be. If you don't have time or desire to go spend the afternoon at the mall: review everything that is brought home (most girls love fashion shows, especially when they are on the runway), go through catalogues or the Internet stores with your daughters before they go, teach them what is and isn't appropriate of young Christian girls, train them up (Prov. 22.6).
Last, what does this say about feminism. Dexter talks about the impact of the sexual revolution: "girls are victims of this corrosion. So is a society that once benefited from the virtue of its women. But we no longer encourage that virtue, and the sexual revolution of the 1960s that claimed to empower women has fueled a full-blown sexualized culture." She went on to talk about the positive changes that are seen in some aspects of culture that this might be changing. It might be changing, but we've got a long way to go.
A couple of things that might make the change more wide spread:
1. Dads - please love your wives and daughters (and God) enough to know and care about what they are wearing - teach them about modesty and how looks matter to guys. Girls don't see the clothes the way guys see clothes. Protect us - we want that.
2. Women - learn to look at yourself in the mirror before you walk out: are bra straps showing, can you see through your skirt or blouse, when you bend down, can you see down your shirt? All these are important questions. And think not only "do I look cute in this outfit" but "how am I going to honor my brothers (in Christ) today by this outfit". Think unselfishly!
3. Churches - be the CJ Mahaneys and teach about this in your youth group, college group, from the pulpit. Don't leave clothes and apparel just to the GAP window dressers and Britney Spears Bratz Dolls. They aren't cutting it. They are teaching our young girls the wrong way to dress. This is what's happening with those: "The doe-eyed, midriff-baring doll was dressed in cheap pink-and-black lingerie and looked as if she should be dancing round a pole.
"It’s one of the BratzBabyz!" the little girl burst out. "She’s called Sugar and I want to be just like her!" This was at a 4-yr old birthday party.
"It’s one of the BratzBabyz!" the little girl burst out. "She’s called Sugar and I want to be just like her!" This was at a 4-yr old birthday party.
4. And as with anything - be modeling the grace and glory of God in what you wear and how you wear it.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
New CBMW Site and Blog
Since about 2000, I have been greatly influenced by the ministry of CBMW: Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Their ministry in teaching, producing, and highlighting the Biblical foundations for gender roles has influenced my teaching and understanding of Scripture on this subject. This gender role topic plays into every area of life: dating, marriage, family, church, ministry, politics, etc. This is not a topic that can be ignored. While I was in NC I saw it taught and lived well both in the classroom and in the home.
CBMW has a new site - just came out less than a week ago. Included on that site is a blog dealing with all things related to gender roles. I would definitely recommend saving the link to your favorites folder, read it daily, listen to the messages they have linked on the site.
Also, the JBMW is the Journal - all students need to get it and read it (it is cheap, don't worry, you can afford it). It has been a help to me in my seminary career, but more importantly, it has helped as I've had discussions with pastors about this topic, girls on what ministry they can and can't do, how marriages should work - especially when arguments take place, or when girls are dating and want to know about submission.
Check it out - it will be a help to you.
CBMW has a new site - just came out less than a week ago. Included on that site is a blog dealing with all things related to gender roles. I would definitely recommend saving the link to your favorites folder, read it daily, listen to the messages they have linked on the site.
Also, the JBMW is the Journal - all students need to get it and read it (it is cheap, don't worry, you can afford it). It has been a help to me in my seminary career, but more importantly, it has helped as I've had discussions with pastors about this topic, girls on what ministry they can and can't do, how marriages should work - especially when arguments take place, or when girls are dating and want to know about submission.
Check it out - it will be a help to you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
