These are my notes on a sermon from a friend of mine who is the Pastor at Richland Creek Community Church in Wake Forest, NC. 1 Peter 3.1-7 - even for singles, ones you mentor, about to get married, etc.
First 6 are for wives...but only one is for men.
What is the context (likewise); submission...slaves, employees, teachers, coach, pastors, etc.
Submit: voluntarily understand God's position for us.
"In the same manner"...it is not en vogue. Don't we always like to do what we want, when we want it. It is much harder to learn this (going into marriage) when you have been single for a long time (like me). We have gotten used to doing things our way and being our own "boss". But, we as singles can pray that God would give us a submissive heart even while we are yet single: hope and preparation.
Focus on what God has called you to do. Be submissive. God is going to ask us about the role He has called us to: be submissive wives, be Godly wives. Not the wife who is slanted toward contentiousness (there is that word again) - today went much better than yesterday.
We have equal value, different assignments.
Obedience to our God is the best way we can "evangelize" our own husbands. Even for singles: I think one of the best ways we can show a dying world the TRUTH is to live it out - be obedient: parents, bosses, the WORD. Our Pure Conduct accompanied by the fear of the Lord. Let the Spirit work!
Beauty: I was talking to some girls about that today. Do not let your adornment be worldly (cosmos). Cosmo - the magazine, is so trashy. I actually was reading one on a plane one day, freaking out about the fact that I was going to be intimate with my husband one day because they made it sound so gross. I want a beautiful marriage. But, he's not saying be ugly. Don't let it be your drive! Anyway, back to those girls: loving, peaceful, quiet, fun, Word-saturated...those are some of the qualities of these girls I emailed today - but they are also so beautiful by the world's standards.
"Gentle and Quiet Spirit" - not a wallflower, mute, etc. This is NOT what the Bible means. We can have personalities - created by God. How would your husband describe you? I want to be known by my husband to be G and Q. Man - God's got a lot of work to do on me. "In the sight of God". God is watching - He knows and cares about how we related to our husbands (because it demonstrates to a dying world the covenant between Christ and the church). Fulfill your responsbility.
The godly women who hoped in God adorned themselves in submission to their own husbands. We need to look to those godly women (especially as young married women or single women) as points of light in a dark world...as obedient women who know the truth. We have our role models as women who obey and submit to their husbands, both ones we know personally and ones that are afar off: Phyllis Robshaw, Carolyn Mahaney, Noel Piper, Sandra Rice, Merriem Franks, just to name a few.
Look to women who know and believe and live the TRUTH of God in their lives, especially in their roles as wives.
I'll stop there since I'm not qualified to speak as a husband/man. But, I will say I am diligently praying for myself that I would be like the above, and my husband would be like God and the husband that Paul describes in the NT and the wise man that the Preacher describes in the book of Proverbs.