Finally got all of my books unpacked yesterday. A friend was over and saw this book by Elisabeth Elliot and said it was really good. I hadn't read it - so I said sure, give me something new to read.
I read the preface last night. That was enough to convict me of some thoughts of entitlement and ungratefulness for even the hard times in my life. As JD preached this past week - we need to be so overwhelmed by God's grace - not by anything else. We should be astounded that we got grace and His goodness - not His wrath which we deserve.
So often in life I think I should be entitled to something: but I am not entitled to anything except an eternity in hell. But, apart from the salvific meaning of this...I think I'm entitled to a lot of things in life - then when others get something that I don't, I often don't like that. Not at all. But, why should I even get them...
Does the Bible really say - Kim, you will be married? No it doesn't? So, why do I dislike it sometimes (however brief or long) when others get marriage and I don't? Am I more deserving than they are - no, we both don't deserve it - it is just a means of sanctification that some people get and some people don't - all in God's perfect plan.
This is from the Preface to her book: (from a time in her life from the 50s)
"Nearly every time I have told it and tried to explain what I think God wanted to teach me in it of absolute commitment and trust, someone has asked, 'but why did God let it happen?' Someday they and I will be satisfied with His answer. Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with ashes."