So, I've been reading and thinking through the book When People Are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch. Such a good and convicting book.
Today is one of those days - not a self-esteem issue as it related to most girls, but for me, much of my self-esteem issues is in the world of education/ministry/what I do.
So, I looked through John 1 today and the verse at the top of my computer screen convicted me of the sin of "low self-esteem" or the height of pride in one's life.
I think of other passages such as Phil 2 - where Jesus lowered himself and became man and suffered on the cross - and He was Jesus.
But, then...John answered them, “I baptize with water, but among you stands one you do not know, even he who comes after me, the strap of whose sandal I am not worthy to untie.”
So, I sit and wonder - who am I? Just because people don't talk to me or ask me what I think or want my opinion on matters of theological/ministerial import - who am I? Does the world revolve around me? No, it doesn't.
Self-esteem is mostly I don't feel good about myself in some way shape or form. People don't talk to me enough, people don't pay enough attention to me. This is the same thing as Pride. Why do I want people to pay attention to me - so they can hear how much I know, and what I think? Who cares what I think?
As I heard in chapel this morning: His highest glory is the aim of my life. No matter what arena... This has got to be the case - my chief end (not in the confessional mindset - just a statement).