sermons and the word

Oh, how everyone just loves Mondays!
Today hasn't been bad though. Woke up "on the wrong side of the bed" thinking about some of the stuff last night - that also means I woke up late. So, I was a little late for work. It was a slow morning for me, but thankfully the time flew by. Then one of my friends came by in the afternoon - he got a new job at Duke! Congrats Garrett! You'll do great! Don't let it go to your head though! (That link is to his www, you need to go there, especially if you are a parent of a young kid who loves spiderman and has a birthday coming soon!) Tonight wasn't bad - had the evening to myself which I love. Exercised, cleaned, made dinner, watched Project Runway (you gotta wonder about some of these designers), and now I'm here.
Wanted something to read during lunch to supplement the Word, so I chose a Piper sermon to read along with Ps 20. Thought both so applicable.
I asked some people last night to pray for wisdom for me. That is what I need. It seemed like every email or something I got today was hoping I was serving faithfully. My Dad said, yes I could pray for wisdom, but experience and reading the word is going to be the answer to that prayer. God gives us the Word - we need to "study to show thyself approved, rightly dividing the Word of truth". I read Ps 20 and was convicted over what my desires are - especially when they come to ministry. And then Piper's sermon said how often we pray for things but don't study the "wonderful things of the word" - Ps 119.18.
verse 4-5 of Ps 20
May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
I remember reading this while in Indonesia this summer. I was so excited - God was going to fulfill all my plans! How cool would that be. But, what really are my desires? Why do I want to teach at the Summit church? I listened to yesterday's sermon by JD - his idol is success. I would say mine is similar - I want people to think I'm good teacher and I want my name to get out there in the world. I want to be a successful trainer and teacher of teachers. But, what does God want from me. He wants me to die to those desires, die to Kim, and live to Him - actually let Him live through me. (Phil 3). So, what desires is God going to grant in my life - those that shine on Him and not on me - that make Him famous and not me.
The other part of the psalm that I loved was 7-8
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.
The contrast here...what are my chariots and horses: the fact that I can cook, sing, write, teach, organize...But where does my trust need to be - in the NAME of the LORD. As I sang Saturday in the wedding - "age to age He stands" - His name is forever - He is standing - He is Sovereign. If I place my trust in the above listed things - I, along with those things, will collapse. But, only the name of the LORD will stand eternally. Wouldn't I rather place my trust in HIM?
As I pick up Valley of Vision - I again turn to the prayer titled Reproofs... I've read it many times...
"Blessed be thy name for anything that life brings. How do poor souls live who have not thee, or when helpless have no God to go to, who feel not the constraining force of thy love, and the sweetness of communion? O, how admirably dost thou captivate the soul, making all desires and affections center on thee."